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Fashion

Posts Tagged ‘Fashion’

5 Highly Troubling Vintage Adverts

HERE is some free advice for up-and-coming marketing execs: Adverts should not make consumers feel nauseous or deeply uncomfortable. Nor should they cause consumers to experience waking nightmares or abdominal pain. You wouldn’t think this sort of instruction would be necessary, but here are five examples which demonstrate that it is. Please take notes.

 

1. SEXUALLY AROUSED STUFFED TOYS PROMOTE BEAR HOSIERY 

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“What a treat to stocking those legs. Wish I were a man,” says the first bear. I’m not sure how I feel about stuffed animals ogling over a woman’s legs. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer Teddy Bears without a sexual appetite.

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Posted: 7th, April 2014 | In: Fashion, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment


These 1970s Onesie Bodysuits Got Men ‘Into Something New’

MEN’S fashion is an endless source of point-and-laugh fun. In this instalment, we hard back to the 1970s, wherein the Onesie For Him was knocking them bandy in the boardroom and bedroom.

Do say: With your Onesie, you look macho and more ready for action than an aroused Playgirl stud. Nice moustache.

Don’t say: Ha-ha. It’s a babygro, you muppet!

 

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Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Fashion, Flashback | Comments (2)


New York Fashion Blog Treats Homeless Man In The Most Epically Hopeless Way

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WHEN Scott Schuman published a picture on his Sartorialist fashion blog of a homeless man in New York, he called it “NOT GIVING UP”:

I don’t usually shoot homeless people. I don’t find it romantic or appealing like a lot of street photographers, and if you asked homeless people they are probably not to happy about their situation either. That’s why I was surprised to be so drawn to taking a picture of this gentleman.

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Posted: 15th, February 2014 | In: Fashion | Comments (4)


1960s Space Age fashion – a retrospective

IN the 1960s, fashion designers looked to the stars for inspiration. The Space Race was well underway. Fashion would harness the spirit of the rocketeers with sleek lines, shiny fabrics and the chance to see the world through visors.

Will Kane

Never get lipstick in your eyes ever again.

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You say, cutting-edge fashion. We say, best to check the machine for red socks before washing your Star Wars Storm Troopers armour.

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Posted: 26th, September 2013 | In: Fashion, Flashback | Comment


The Face Slimmer turns your mouth into a potty

face slimmer

GREAT and not-at-all -useless products for women presents the Potty Mouth Face Slimmer. How does the lip job work?

To get and maintain the perfect visage, you don’t need the cosmetic surgeon’s knife. All you need is a mouthpiece. Yes, the Face Slimmer is a simple solution to the timeless problem of how to give sagging facial skin and muscles that much-needed daily lift. Just three minutes per day is all you need; pop in the mold and then make mouth movements. The makers recommend you say vowel sounds out loud over and over again, producing regular and methodical exercises that will strength the twelve facial expression muscles in a comprehensive way.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…..

Buy it here. They did.

Spotter: Today I Learned Something New, Dangerous Minds

Posted: 2nd, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


All hail the coat made from human chest hair (Chelsea FC launch new fashion range)

chest-hair-coat

HEY fashionistas! Want a unique piece of clothing that will make everyone else green? Okay, they might go green with nausea rather than envy, but that’s the price of fashion right?

Let us introduce to you, a fur coat made completely of male chest hair!

And how much will this set you back? A glorious £2,499! That’s because it is a limited edition number, commissioned by dairy company Arla (in conjunction with the launch of the male-targeted chocolate milk Wing-co) and one can only assume the humans used for the fur were slaughtered in a huge warehouse like screaming piglets.

Or maybe this is what happens to all the hair shaved and plucked from Chelsea and Manchester United footballers? 

Each fur coat comprises around one million hairs.

A Wing-co spokesperson said:

“We commissioned the Man-Fur Coat as a wake-up call for the nation’s gents. [The coat is] a way to encourage them to readopt the values of assured ‘men’s men’ from yesteryear who would laugh nonchalantly in the face of adversity and be proud of their abundant manliness.”

Or, they could just grow a beard.

Posted: 27th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


The 21 most hilarious outfits from Men’s Fashion Week – London Summer 2013

MENS’s Fashion gives until the laughter hurts our ears. We went to London Fashion week to see the men wearing what all the cool kids will be sporting soon:

A model on the catwalk at the Nasir Hazhar fashion show, held at the Victoria House venue during London Collections: Men.

A model on the catwalk at the Nasir Hazhar fashion show, held at the Victoria House venue during London Collections: Men.

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Posted: 20th, June 2013 | In: Fashion, Key Posts | Comment


China teens wear Kardashian legs to deter perverts

HOW do you deter a Chinese pervert? No, not a question to Roy Chubby Brown’s audience, rather one posed to millions of women on Weibo (China’s Twitter). Well, the answer is to dress up like pre-depilated Kim Kardashian. Los Angeles, the city that gave Basildon the tattoo sleeves, now gives Beijing the hairy leg:

“Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out.”

Of course, this might just be Prince William showing off his plucked feet. The web can be full of lies. It’s hard to know what to believe.

And what about the perverts who get turned on by well-carpeted young girls? Catering for perverts is a hazardous business. Whatever you do, someone is going to get excited…

hairy legs

 

Spotter: Laughing Squid 

Posted: 19th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment (1)


Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat

Karl Largefeld cat

Karl Largefeld cat

FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.

The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for letting ridiculous things fall out of his anus-shaped mouth, but bestiality might top the rest.

“I never thought I would fall in love like this with a cat,” Lagerfeld said.

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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment


The pick of British Fashion Council’s London Collections 2013: Men

WE’VE been at the British Fashion Council’s London Collections: Men. This is what you dudes will be wearing next year. Old Mr Anorak was ever ahead of his time:


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Posted: 10th, January 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


The worst underwear advert ever

IS this the world’s worst ever advert for underwear:

Posted: 4th, December 2012 | In: Fashion, Key Posts | Comment (1)


How male fashion work (video)

HOW male fashion works. Language makes this NSFW:

Clip from series 3, episode 1 of Burnistoun.

Posted: 30th, August 2012 | In: Fashion, TV & Radio | Comment


Spanx for men are just back-to-front Y-fronts

ONE highlight of last week was the arrival of Spanx for men, heralded in the Daily Mail as the man knickers that “enhance the derrière’s natural roundness, and adds extra support in all the vital places.” Italian undies outfit D.HEDRAL commends to our attentions the “angle fit” technology, which took three years to perfect. Anorak is aghast.

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Posted: 21st, July 2012 | In: Fashion | Comment


The First Nylon Fair at The Albert Hall in 1956 – video

FLASHBACK Fashion : it’s The First Nylon Fair at The Albert Hall in 1956. British Pathe’s man on the scene tells it like it is:

“Two rows of sedately dressed ladies are watching the show”.

Oh, for the halcyon days when “bloomers and “housecoats” were go-ahead fashions…

Posted: 23rd, April 2012 | In: Flashback | Comment


Paris Fashion Week Autumn / Winter 2012 – the must-have looks (photos)

IT’S Paris Fashion week 2012. The designers are showcasing their autumn/winter looks. Bared nipples and dressing as mobile wallpaper samples are very en vogue. This is what the cool kids in Bridlington, Bodmin and the trendier parts of Doncaster will be wearing soon…

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EDS NOTE NUDITY - A model wears a creation from designer Moon Young Hee as part of the Fall-Winter, ready-to-wear 2013 fashion collection, during Paris Fashion week, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2012. (AP Photo/Christophe Ena)

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Posted: 5th, March 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Karl Lagerfeld points out obvious by saying Adele is a bit ‘fat’

PEOPLE in the fashion industry are obsessed with image. That’s their job. So when Karl Lagerfeld, while guest editing for Metro Paris, took it upon himself to note that Adele is a bit fat, he probably knew that womenfolk would go mental at him for being so shallow.

Of course, a good number of those women spat feathers while doused in Chanel perfume and gazing at Chanel clobber in the various image-obsessed magazines they read… but still… DON’T CALL WOMEN FAT! EVEN IF THEY ARE A BIT FAT!

Karl was asked about Lana del Rey, because she’s exactly the kind of trout-gobbed gal that will be snapped up by a fashion house for a gig, later to be snatched by H&M for a ‘celebrity range’. He said:

“I prefer Adele and Florence Welch. But as a modern singer she is not bad. The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice. Lana del Rey is not bad at all. She looks very much like a modern-time singer. In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.”

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Posted: 7th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)


London College of Fashion’s MA Graduate Fashion Show Catwalk Photos: Hospital Chic

THE London College of Fashion’s MA Graduate Fashion Show – Catwalk photos: Hospital Chic hits the catwalk. It’s what all the cool kids will be wearing on the wards…

More: Stylebrity

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A model wears designs by Joanne Power the London College of Fashion MA graduate fashion show, at the Victoria and Albert museum in central London

Posted: 3rd, February 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (7)


Walter van Bierendonck Fasion’s Half-Baked Paris Fashion Show: Pictures

WASN’T the Walter van Bierendonck Autumn/Winter 2010/11 collection show presented during the Men’s Fashion Week in Paris, France, on January 22, 2010 a wonderful thing? Mixing Home Price with Bernie Clifton was inspirational. Why-oh-why we need wait so long for Rod Hull chic to arrive is beyond any sentient fashionista’s valuable being. N’est pas. mon brave? Parp!

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A model wears a creation by Walter van Bierendonck during his Autumn/Winter 2010/11 collection show presented during the Men's Fashion Week in Paris, France, on January 22, 2010.

Posted: 25th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Fifty Women Strip In London For Gaia Cellulite Awareness: In Pictures

ANORAK was in London’s South Molton Street today and happened upon 50 models (each counted by hand) wearing their knickers and bras in the rain. Was this a protest for Gaia, a bid to get fit young women to cuts down on washing and ironing and so reduce their carbon footprints? Turns out that young models were wearing anti-cellulite underwear. This stuff really works, as tethering it to the firm skin of young woman proves. Ann Widdecombe remains frustratingly just out of shot… The pictures:

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A shepherd and his flock

Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Ralph Lauren Challenges Conventional Modelling Images With New Jeans Campaign

ralph-laurenHATS off, hips, off, waist off and almost all traces of fat and pelvis off to Ralph Lauren for breaking the mould that models have to look like pre-pubescent boys – and not just the boys – with this advert.

Having a head bigger than your pelvis need not be barrier to a career in front-line modelling, says Eddie.

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Posted: 6th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Egypt Gets Into Cock Fashion

egypt-cock-t-shirtFCUK, French connection’s dyslexic T-shirt slogan, gathers mildew in fashion’s big bargain basement, and in Egypt the hipsters are buying into their own dream: “Cock” fashions.

Posted: 2nd, July 2009 | In: Fashion | Comment


The Bullet-Proof Gentlemen’s Pocket Square Handkerchief

FOR the modern man about town: “The Damned is a Bullet-Proof* Gentlemen’s Pocket Square measuring 270 mm x 270, made from lemon Military Grade Ballistic Strength Aramid Fibre – to protect the hearts of men.”

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Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (3)