Posts Tagged ‘funny names’
Posho birth announcement: Triptych Alabama Bliss is among us
In the Times Births column today, the announcement that Triptych Alabama Bliss is born to Olivia and Hugo Von Halle. Tripe / Trip is sister to Hieronymus (English: Jerome) and Dionysus.
Spotter: Harry Wallop
Posted: 2nd, March 2021 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Golfer Jack Nicklaus delighted his daughter marries a man called Todger
Hyumef golfer Jack Niclaus is delighter to tweet the wedding of his daughter christine to Todger Struknk.
For American readers and Todger’s parents, a Todger is British slang for a penis, a knob, a bellend. you get the idea. The other idea is that if Todger took Chrisine’s name, he’d be Todger Nicklaus.
Posted: 15th, December 2020 | In: Sports, Strange But True | Comment
Namibia elects Adolph Hitler
Old campaigners and neo-voters will be disappointed to learn that Adolf Hitler has no plans for world domination. Adolf Hitler Uunona, newly elected to represent the Ompundja constituency in the former German colony of Namibia, tells Bild his politics has “nothing to do” with Nazi ideology.
Hard cheese, indeed, on those hearing the news of Adolph Hilter’s victory and thought it the right moment to emerge from their Brazilian hideaways, Austrian bier kellars and, well, Switzerland to march again. (Not that they ever hid – more than half of the leadership of the West German Justice Ministry were former members of the Nazi party, including dozens of former paramilitary SA members.)
Mr Uunona says his father had named him after the Nazi leader, but said “he probably didn’t understand what Adolf Hitler stood for. As a child I saw it as a totally normal name. It wasn’t until I was growing up that I realised: This man wanted to subjugate the whole world. I have nothing to do with any of these things.”
Posted: 4th, December 2020 | In: News, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment
The court calls Mr Farrelly of Muff Crescent, Nobber
Ireland’s Ardee District Court calls Mr Conor Farrelly, 22, who stands accused of driving a 2011 BMW car into a wall in Ardee, fleeing the scene and heading into a pub. Mr Farrelly of Muff Crescent, Nobber… Pardon me? No giggling in court. You there! I’ll have you removed.
Mr Farrelly offered guilty pleas to dangerous driving and not being insured. Judge Coughlan banned Mr Farrelly from driving for two years. He also sought a probation report in respect of the defendant doing 240 hours community service in lieu of five months in jail.
The matter will return to court on May 13 when final sentencing will be passed. In the meantime, Mr Farrelly will reside at the property in Muff Crescent in Nobber… Enough! Dismissed!!!
Spotter: Dundalk Democrat
Posted: 24th, January 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment
Jesus Christ drives an Uber: driver’s message goes viral
Uber driver Chris has a message: “I have arrived.” On Twitter, Daniel Powell shared the incredible news that Christ is “arriving soon in a Hyundai Elantra”.
Praise be!
Not how I expected him to come back but okay. pic.twitter.com/dW0IdMZnNF
— Daniel Powell (@danieljpowell) October 26, 2018
How did the trip go?
Was it really him?
No, no, no, Jesus drives a Honda but doesn’t brag about it. “For I did not speak of my own accord” John 12:49.
— teedubya101 (@teedubya101) October 26, 2018
Amen.
Posted: 3rd, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Dong Energy to change name to…
Denmark’s Dong Energy is to rename. Dong, as I’m sure you know, stands for Danish Oil and Natural Gas. The new moniker will align it with a “profound strategic transformation from black to green energy”.
The new name is DIL… No. It’s Ørsted, in honour of 19th-century scientist Hans Christian Ørsted.
Which means DONG is now up for grabs!
They really did call a shopping mall Cum Park Plaza
How do you put a shopping centre in North Church St Burlington, NC, on the map? You call it Cum Park Plaza.
Gang bangers, voyeurs, chronic masturbators and other perverts welcome.
Posted: 19th, July 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment
Jacob Rees-Mogg hails new son Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher
To man -of-the-people – the man with the commonest of common touches – Jacob Rees-Mogg a child: Sixtus Dominic Bonifcace Christopher:
Posted: 5th, July 2017 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comment
Bear Payne: Cheryl and Liam’s son wears wooden nappies
In a “showbiz exclusive” the Sun leads with news that Cheryl Cole has named her baby…Sophie. No, only joking. It’s Bear Payne, the surname born of the baby’s dad Liam Payne, formerly of One Direction, and the first name inspired by an animal famed for shitting in the woods and time spent “getting to know their baby”.
Happily, Cher and Liam have loads of money to equip each of their bathrooms with a copse, so making Bear feel very much at home and preventing the bairn suffering any undue embarrassment.
Posted: 2nd, May 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Man’s vanity plate banned for being offensive to women
Lorne Grabher is the victim of bureaucrats who saw his surname and thought him guilty of offence causing. Nova Scotia’s Registrar of Motor Vehicles banned Mr Grabher’s personalised number plate – ‘GRABHER’ – on the grounds that it could be “misinterpreted as a socially unacceptable slogan”.
Worse, he could have ben mistaken for the American President.
Mr Grabher protested. “The name on the plate was my last name ‘Grabher’ and has been in the family for over 25 years,” he wrote on Facebook. “This plate changed hands within the family three times with no issue but because one complaint was lodged Ms. Director of Road Safety used her authority to cancel my plate. Where does it state that my last name is considered a ‘slogan’ in the Motor Vehicle Act?”
The Department of Transportation told CBS the plate “some individuals interpret [GRABHER] as misogynistic and promoting violence against women. With no way to denote that it is a family name on the plate, the department determined it was in the public’s best interest to remove it from circulation.”
Might it also be wise to remove Mr Grabher from society lest he adhere to the cruse of nominative determinism, by which a person’s destiny is shaped by their name?
Incidentally, the man in charge iof Nova Scotia’s transport is Mark Furey. Approach with caution.
Posted: 26th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Denzel Washington admits to strangling Aretha Franklin in New York
Denzel Washington has attempted to strangle Aretha Franklin. Washington, 20, admitted to strangling his mother, 52-year-old Aretha Franklin, in Manhattan, New York.
“I am informed by Aretha Franklin,” says the complaint filed by police, “that she observed the defendant place his hands around her neck and apply pressure, thereby causing redness, bruising and substantial pain to her neck.”
Washington has admitted an harassment charge. He’s been sentenced to a conditional discharge and an anger management programme. Washington was also ordered to stay away from Franklin’s home.
PS – “Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks,” says a character named Michael Bolton in the 1999 film Office Space.
Ronald McDonald shot outside restaurant
Ronald McDonald has been shot at a fast-food restaurant on the USA. Police need not round-up the usual suspect – Hamburglar, Jamie Oliver, France – because Telvin Drummond, 24, from Lumberton, North Carolina, is helping them with their enquiries.
Mr McDonald was shot during an argument behind a Sonic Drive-In restaurant. Reports say the two began shooting at each other and Ronald McDonald was hit.
He’s ok. It is very likely that Mr McDonald cannot be killed by conventional weapons.
Posted: 27th, June 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment
Mr Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop arrested again
Jeff
Evergreen State College police says Mr Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop, 34, assaulted one of their number. Mr Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop has been charged with first-degree assault (two counts), third-degree assault, third-degree malicious mischief and malicious harassment.
On Feb. 16, Mr Jeffrey Drew Wilschke – that being Mr Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop’s former name – will appear in court.
Jeff says he legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop in 2011.
In 2012, Mr Zopittybop-bop-bop was arrested on marijuana and weapon charges in Wisconsin. He was also arrested in 2013 on drug charges in Iowa.
Posted: 3rd, February 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Mr Phuc Dat Bich ‘banned from Facebook’
An exasperated Vietnamese-Australian man has shared a photo of his passport to prove his name really is Phuc Dat Bich after he was banned from Facebook several times.
Dats Phuced Up
Mr Phuc Dat Bich, 23, says “nobody seems to believe me when I say that my full legal name is how you see it… I’ve been accused of using a false and misleading name, which I find very offensive. Is it because I’m Asian? Is it?”
Phuc Dat Bich says his Facebook account had been “shut down multiple times” with demands that he “change my name to my ‘real’ name”.
Mr Phuc works in IT, apparently. He might be known as Mr Phuc IT.
As for the story, we’re says: it’s a hoax, right?
Posted: 22nd, November 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Cherries Waffles Tennis Arrested In Florida
TO a Juno Beach surf shop in Florida, USA, where police have arrested three people for a suspected fraud. They are Vincent Mitchell, 19, and Paul Miller, 22, and Cherries Waffles Tennis, 19.
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Posted: 8th, September 2014 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Epic Obituaries: So, Farewell David W. Cummings, aka ‘Pervert’ Dave
OBITUARY of the day is from the Tampa Bay Times. Let’s all take a moment to remember the life of David W. Cummings, aka “Pervert” Dave:
Dave loved motorcycles, and riding with all of this brothers and sisters. He was an avid wood worker, loved animals and working with Paso…
Posted: 19th, April 2014 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Funny Names Watch: Professor Chew Shit Fun
THE National Institute of Education, Nanyang Technological University (NIE/NTU), Singapore, introduces Associate Professor Chew Shit Fun.
Posted: 16th, January 2014 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Howie Felterbush reacts to new of the Trayvon Martin v George Zimmerman trial
GEORGE Zimmerman did not murder Trayvon Martin. The verdict has been delivered.
Howie Felterbush is on the scene to deliver an opinion in a vox pop brought to in conjunction with KTVU…
Olympic athlete of the day: Kum Sok
OLYMPIC athlete of the day is Kum Sok, of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea:
Asda Puts Cock Soup On Top Shelf: 28 Smuttiest Foods Ever
TO Asda for Old Mr Anorak’s enlivening bowl of Cock Soup.
But the packet is not where it should be. Cock Soup has been moved to the top shelf “because of the constant juvenile sniggers its name was receiving”.
The store conceded that the product needed to be relocated after receiving hundreds of complaints from shoppers. The bags of soup retail at 35p in Asda, as they do at Tesco.
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Posted: 23rd, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money, Photojournalism | Comments (4)
