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funny

Posts Tagged ‘funny’

‘Mark Zuckerberg meeting truckers in Iowa looks like a movie about an alien who slowly learns to feel’

Mark Zuckerberg meeting truckers in Iowa looks like a movie about an alien who slowly learns to feel

 

Spotter: zzzzaaaacccchhh

Posted: 26th, June 2017 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Shopper uses great keepy-uppy skills at the supermarket

To Brazil, where a local man is demonstrating how to shop with style. Forget the 5p bag and go native. And get me a dozen eggs… Game on!

 

football gif funny shopping

Posted: 20th, June 2017 | In: Sports, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


BBC admits to ‘election rigging’

Finally! The BBC has admitted what so many suspected: they’ve been ‘rigging” the election:

Posted: 3rd, June 2017 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


LMFAO: the brilliant Pope meets Trump gif

Spotter and creator:

Posted: 25th, May 2017 | In: Gifs, Politicians | Comment


Evolution of Douchebag Style – the man bun vaper and beyond

Inspired by 100 Year of Beauty, some bright sparks have nailed the running joke of men’s fashion with the “Evolution of Douchebag Style”.

 


Spotter: BlameItOnTheVoices

Posted: 14th, May 2017 | In: Fashion | Comment


Costa Coffee Salford offers its toilet as a birthday party venue

Anyone looking for a compact and bijou venue for a birthday party, a UKIP conference, an intimate wedding or just a place to mingle with fellow urban badger enthusiasts after work can head long to Costa Coffee in Salford. The toilet is available for hire.

 

Costa Coffee Salford hire

 

Spotter: @ThePoke

Posted: 9th, May 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


The Specials: Nursing Home Pensioners Rip It Up To Too Much Too Young (Video)

The Specials’ Too Much Too Young for the Nursing Home! As John Lydon says: “The Best Ska Punk Bands Ever.”

Posted: 25th, April 2017 | In: Music, TV & Radio | Comment


Dolly Parton Sings Jolene In The Death Metal Style

dolly parton bunny

 

Take it away, Dolly Parton. Her she is belting out a death metal version of her timeless hit, Jolene. It was created by Andy Rehfeldt – check out his Mary Poppins singing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

 

Spotter: Laughing Squid

Posted: 24th, April 2017 | In: Celebrities, Music | Comment


Tires down a ski jump – alternative Olympic sports

tyres down a ski jump

 

With the UK’s olympic-sized Olympics budget under review – can we just embrace technology and go long on drugs and short on training? – Anorak’s on the look out for cheap and cheerful alternative events.

And here is one: tyres down a ski jump.

Posted: 23rd, April 2017 | In: Sports, Strange But True | Comment


Caption writers protect the Easter Bunny from would-be Trump assassins and Elma Fudd

The President of the United States is on the LEFT.

 

trump bunny left caption

 

“Excellent use of parentheses. Bravo caption writers.” tweets @Zoeparamour.

“Sometimes Breaking News comes at exactly the perfect moment” adds @Melissajpeltier.

 

donald trump rabbit

 

Spotter: Twitter/@MelissaJPeltier & Twitter/@ZoeParamour

Posted: 22nd, April 2017 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment


Man vomits as he proposes to girlfriend on private plane over Reedley, Ca.

Man vomits as he proposes to girlfriend on private plane over Reedley, Ca.

 

As he cruised the skies on the look out for a ‘MARRY ME’ sign he’d painted on the ground, Darrell Hamilton Jr reached into his bag and pulled out a ring box. To showed it to his fiancee Rheanna Lopez – and then puked all over the floor.

She said “Yes”. And the women who married my friend who shat the bed on their romantic night in France – tip: don’t have the whitebait in Le Touquet – also said ‘Yes’.

 

Posted: 15th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Make Your Own ‘Mazel Tov Cocktails’ With Scottie Nell Hughes

Scottie Nell Hughes was talking to CNN about Hillary Clinton’s props Jay Z and Beyoncé. She made a reference to Jay Z and Kanye West’s 2012 video for “No Church in the Wild. It features a ‘Mazel Tov’ cocktail.

No. Not a Molotov cocktail. Hughes spotted a “mazel tov cocktail”.

Hughes went on Twitter, “trust me.. I realized at that moment, I should have taken a nap at some point the last 24hrs.”

So how do you make a Mazel Tov cocktail? Like this:

 
Ginfilte (fish)
Cream (cheese)
Kabbala Coffee Liqueur
Single smaltz whiskey
Candles

Posted: 7th, November 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment


Drink! Feck! Girls! Kids dressed as Father Ted characters win Halloween

“These must be the best costumes of Halloween 2016 by my sisters friends in Wicklow,” tweets @ChrisJudge.

 

father ted halloween kids

Posted: 31st, October 2016 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


Dear Sir: A woman writes a formal rejection letter to a penis photo on Facebook

Like many internet users, Sarah-Louise Jordan recived an unsolicied picure of a penis in a Facebook message. She writes, “I found a surprising picture in my messages. So, I did the only English thing there was to do; I wrote them a letter.”

 

dick photo facebook letter b

 

“Dear Sir,

Thank you for the unexpected and unsolicited submission of your penis portrait for our consideration. We regret to inform you that it has failed to pass our most basic standards of quality control at this time.

However, for a nominal fee we can offer you a report that will help you change that.

The A4 report, provided via postal service, will include a personalised booklet that cover the following:

Why genitals are not an acceptable conversation opener (a step by step guide to saying hello)

How to appear as though you weren’t raised by wolves

Better ways to deal with your sexual frustration

How to dress your penis for social media (a rough guide to pants)

AND

Penis reading: a new form of palmistry that may help you unlock the key to your future.

We will also answer questions you might have such as:

Do I have too much time on my hands?

AND

Why did my penis fail basic standards of quality control?

(Note: the number one reason for this occurring is that it is attached to a bigger dick than itself.)

Finally, as a gesture of goodwill we intend to offer two free samples with all of your future penis portrait submissions:

An inventive critique of your pride & joy

AND

A surprise consultation with your closest available family member about your portfolio.

We trust this exciting offer is acceptable and look forward to working with you in the near future.

Yours faithfully.”

 

 

dick photo facebook letter b

 

dick photo facebook letter b

Spotter: Sarah-Louise Jordan on Facebook

Posted: 30th, October 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


St Dunstan’s school, Glastonbury, sends parents typo C-bvomb

The message to parents with children at St Dunstan’s school, Glastonbury, Somerset, is clear: state your ‘cunt’ of birth:

 

school cunty

 

The school says the word ‘cunty’ is a typo and not a comment on nationality. The letters ‘O’ and ‘R’ were not included in error.

 

Posted: 13th, October 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton sing I’ve Had The Time of My Life

Donald and Hillary will now sing I’ve Had The Time of My Life:

 

The video was produced by Dutch broadcaster Lucky TV.

When I saw them I kept thinking of Dolly Parton (Trump) and Kenny Rogers (Clinton).

Make it happen, internet.

Take them away:

Posted: 11th, October 2016 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Steve Martin sings ‘Atheists don’t have no songs’

Steve Martin Writes Song for Hymn-Deprived Atheists

As Christmas rolls up we wonder about the atheists. Steve Martin is here to help. Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers perform at Merlefest 2010.

 

Until now!

A little tune called “Athiests Don’t Have No Songs”

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

(Romantics play)
Romantics play Claire de Lune.
(Claire de Lune)
Born agains sing He is risen.
But no one ever wrote a tune.
(Wrote a tune)
For godless existentialism.
(For godless existentialism)

For Atheists,
There’s no good news.
They’ll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.

(Some folks sing)
Some folks sing a Bach cantata.
(Bach cantata)
Lutherans get Christmas trees.
Atheist songs add up to nada.
(Up to nada)
But they do have Sundays free.
(Have Sundays free)

(Pentecostals sing)
Pentecostals sing, sing to heaven,
(Sing to heaven)
Gothics had the books of scrolls,
(Numerologists count)
Numerologists count, count to seven,
(Count to seven)
Atheists have rock and roll.

For atheists,
There’s no good news.
They’ll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.

Atheists
Atheists
Atheists
Don’t have no songs!

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

Catholics,
Dress up for mass.
And listen to,
Gregorian chants.

Atheists,
Just take a pass.
Watch football in their underpants.
Watch football in their underpants.

Atheists
Atheists
Atheists
Don’t have no songs!
(Don’t have no songs)

Posted: 5th, October 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Music | Comment


The entire first season of Danny Dyer’s The Real Football Factories in one 60 second chunk

“I edited the entire first season of Danny Dyer’s The Real Football Factories into one 60 second chunk,” tweets ‏@AchinglyChic.

It’s brilliant:

Posted: 30th, September 2016 | In: Celebrities, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment


‘The Ginger Twat Called Angus’ and other people on a South London pub’s banned list

The Half Moon pub in London’s Herne Hill has banned the following people. Santero tweeted the list, says“… it’s like a Guy Ritchie casting call.” I have to agree.

banned from herne hill pub london banned

Posted: 13th, September 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


Idiocy in a New York City bike lane

Stay in the bike lane. And stay to the end of this video. It’s not easy.

 


Spotter New York Times

Posted: 3rd, September 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Sports | Comment


‘I adore distilled whippet shit’: ‘Tom Baker’s’ advert outtake (NSFW)

Is this Tom Baker talking in an outtake for an advert he was recording? YouTuber campfreddie thinks it might be:

Tom Baker is over here.

Posted: 1st, September 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment


Headline of the week: ‘How would you like to enter Miss Southampton?’

Miss touhampton headline fail.

 

Spotter: @subedited

Posted: 30th, August 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment


Breaking news: ‘Not serious … just life threatening’

Breaking news from Australia. A man has been attacked. His wounds are ‘not serious…just life threatening”.

 

Posted: 29th, August 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment