garth crooks | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘garth crooks’

Arsenal balls: Garth Crooks dumps Chelsea Nazis on Sead Kolasinac’s brick toilet

On Monday, BBC pundit Garth Crooks delivers his Premier League team of the week. This week Crooks has selected Sead Kolasinac, who played well in Arsenal’s draw against Chelsea on Sunday, during which he was kicked hard by “silly” David Luiz. Indeed, it was being kicked that earned Kolasinac Crook’s admiration. Crooks writes:

Sead Kolasinac is built like one of those North London brick toilets that withstood bombing raids during the Second World War.

Ah, yes, those famous Nazi-proof brick toilets. Bit cold to the touch, and they left a dusty circle on your bum, but nostalgia, eh. And if Kolasinac is the Great British brick toilet, who is the Nazi bomber?

Even after the most awful tackle by my defender of the year last season, David Luiz, he rose to his feet determined to finish the game. The way Luiz overran the ball in an attempt to draw Kolasinac into the challenge left me in no doubt that the Chelsea defender knew exactly what he was doing. In my view, he wanted a piece of Kolasinac.

David ‘doodlebug’ Luiz.

In my playing days, both men would have received a standing ovation for a tackle like that – Luiz for throwing down the gauntlet and Kolasinac for accepting it.

Yeah, you always applauded the footballer who got a kicking. For every Norman ‘Bites yer legs’ Hunter there was a Howard Kendall, accepting the noble gauntlet right in the shins. The Corinthian spirit shone though those magic moments.



History lesson over, Crooks adds:

Even though the Arsenal defender came off worst, the impressive Bosnia-Herzegovina international finished the game and with it earned a moral victory.

Well done for not getting your leg broken, Kolasinac, you paragon of virtue.

Cheers, Garth:



Posted: 18th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Chelsea: Garth Crooks, Juan Mata’s Manchester United magic, Mourinho’s shame

Screen Shot 2015-09-28 at 14.05.28


In the haste to pile in on Chelsea, BBC pundit Garth Crooks salutes Manchester United’s Juan Mata. He’s the Spaniard United bought from Chelsea for a then club record fee of £37.1 million in January 2014. For that much cash, it should not come as too much of a shock to realise that Mata is pretty good at football. And he’s been pretty good for some time – Chelsea signed him from Valencia for £23.5 million in August 2011.

Here’s Crooks:

It is with some irony that I find Chelsea struggling at one end of the table and Manchester United on top.


It would be remiss of me not to mention Juan Mata at this point; the man who Mourinho couldn’t wait to get out of the revolving door at Stamford Bridge.

The man they sold for a record fee.

It has been Mata’s consistent performances for the Red Devils under Louis van Gaal that have helped transform their season. Mata was instrumental in United’s victory over Sunderland and should they win the title, his departure could prove to be Mourinho’s final embarrassment.

Er, Garth, mate, Chelsea won the Premier League title last year. Mata’s United finished fourth. the year before, United finished in seventh with Chelsea in third.



Posted: 28th, September 2015 | In: Chelsea, manchester united | Comment

Arsenal & Manchester United Balls: Wise Garth Crooks’ Puts His Champagne On Ice




GARTH Crooks, the most earnest man in sport, for whom every comment is weighed with the wisdom of Solomon and the pressed palms of a Saint contemplating the spiritual meaning of a John Terry header. And then he pauses. As if deep in thought. And then speaks slowly in short sentences, so that scribes may best be able to jot down his words exactly.  He picks. His team. Of the week. For the BBC. It’s not a team, of course. It’s just XI names who have done well over the previous Premier League weekend.  This week he made his choices.

Garth gaze upon Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey:


I don’t think there can be any greater accolade than when a former player acknowledges respect for his former club by not celebrating a goal.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, December 2013 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Spurs | Comment

Garth Crooks picks West Brom and Scotland’s James Morrison for the England team

GARTH Crooks, the BBC’s football expert, picks his Premier League team of the week. He selects West Brom’s James Morrison:

His goal against QPR was textbook midfield play. Anyone who breaks into the box with such determination to get his head to the ball doesn’t just deserve to score but desperately wants to. This is a player Roy Hodgson should now be taking a keen interest in…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, October 2012 | In: Sports | Comment