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Gary Speed’s death for a non football fan

ALAS, I had no idea of Gary Speed’s existence until he ceased to be. How tragic to have reached the end of his life and not be known by me. Can there be sadder fates?

My first assumption on learning of the death of someone whose life was a matter of oblivion to me was: Ah, a satsuma moment. You know, man throttles himself for testicular release with the aid of fruit segment. Anoxia I think it’s called. It’s one of the tabloid faves and usually features a promising politician, RIP.

But no fruit segment was found by Gary’s side. Nor signs of testicular release. People said he was the happiest man that ever lived – he discussed footie morning, noon and night. Why would anyone want to kill themselves in such circs? I couldn’t help thinking: What a blessed release for the poor man.

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Posted: 31st, January 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (35)