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Gay George Michael ‘Dead’

5356934GEORGE Michael is not dead. George Michael has been “arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of drink or drugs” after his silver Land Rover was involved in a collision with a truck on the A34 near Newbury, Berkshire.

Well, so the papers say.

In truth, Michael is taken to Lodden Valley police station, near Reading. At 5:55am he is released without charge. He is well. He was not arrested, merely questioned, as is routine.

The Mirror has the, er, “exclusive”:

EXCLUSIVE: George Michael arrested after crashing his Range Rover into back of lorry at 1am

And if you want more facts:

“George Campbell, boss of the firm that owns the truck, said he could have been seriously injured or even killed.”

Wham! Another celebrity death – averted. The Sun confirms the news that Michael is alive, but expected more from “Gay George”:

Onlookers feared George, 46 was DEAD as he sat dazed in the mangled motor for ten minutes near Newbury, Berks.

And George Michael – how is he?

“He was quite merry and wanted a lift but didn’t say where to. He was wearing glasses, a black baseball cap, a tight-fitting black T-shirt, black trousers and Crocs shoes. He carried a satchel.”

Crocs… Ew. He was in bad way:

The motor was a write-off and the gay singer – described as “away with the fairies” – survived by a miracle.

A car crash follwied by a bit of light gay bashing. The sun’s font-page headline screams:

GEORGE MICHAEL SHUNTS TRUCKER IN REAR.”

Only Michael wasn’t out of it. He  failed no drink nor drugs test. He was not arrested. He is not dead.

Sky News says Michael’s car is worth £80,000, although given the state of his health this might rise (it’s memorabilia, right) or if he’s well, fall (repairs aren’t cheap).

Of course, this is the same George Michael who in 2007 admitting being unfit to drive when he watched the light show at the junctions between Cosmic Cricklewood Lane and Hendon Way, North London. Red. Orange. Green. Red. Orange… Anyone else see the lights in the sky?

And this means the media must look over his driving history, yer honour.

Michael was cautioned by police for possession of cannabis after being found in a similar state at Hyde Park Corner in February, 2007. At the time he issued a statement claiming it was “my own stupid fault as usual”, and later penned a song inspired by the experience. In April, 2007 the former Wham! star was in the news again when he collided with three parked cars near his north London home.

In May 2004, he wrote off his BMW on the A40 in Acton, west London, and crashed into railings.

The Scottish Daily Record has more news, yer honour:

Michael’s most notorious brush with the law came in 1998, whenhe was detained for lewd conduct in a public toilet in Los Angeles by an undercover police officer.

Does he have an in-car toilet?

In August 2009, George Michael was involved in a car accident in which no-one was hurt.

End of.

Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)