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Posts Tagged ‘germany’

The Hill regrets the error in probably the best correction ever

Website The Hill notes that anti-Semitic crime in Germany is at the highest level ever recorded. Not that it was a crime when the Germans were keeping count of the 6 million Jews the country had the key role in murdering, but you get the point…

Posted: 29th, October 2021 | In: News | Comment


Video: When French Resistance fighter Colette Marin-Catherine went to a German death camp

Video: When French Resistance fighter Colette Marin-Catherine went to a Germany death camp

This is worth your time. Colette Marin-Catherine was 90 when she paid a visit to a German concentration camp where her brother, Jean-Pierre Catherine, was murdered. A former fighter with the French resistance, Collette had never wanted to visit Germany. But then a history student named Lucie opens the way…

Posted: 20th, December 2020 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Got wood? Massive penis goes missing in Germany

If you get offered a large wooden penis about two-metres high, call the police. It might be stolen from the Allgäu region in Germany. The massive wooden wood has perched on the 1738-metre-high Grünten mountain near Rettenberg for years. “Someone must have sawed it over in a cloak-and-dagger operation,” the owner of the nearby Grüntenhütte lodge told the Allgäuer Zeitung.

Helmut Hunter, sorry, Holger Stabik from the police headquarters in Kempten is investigating. “Every possible clue is being investigated – but so far there are none,” he says.

Of course, you could just make another one. How hard can it be to fashion a massive knob from a tree? Or are locals just waiting for snow?

Posted: 2nd, December 2020 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Cafe in Germany keeps social distancing with swimming pool noodles

coronavirus noodles

To the “Café Rothe Schwerin” in Germany, where punters can maintain social distancing by wearing a swimming noodle on their heads. The cafe is open for al fresco dining, and tables are service 1.5m apart, as the rules dictate. But to ensure no accidental touching occurs, you can keep other punters at noodle-distance. Why a pool noodle and not, say, a barge pole, javelin or sombrero-styled MAGA hat? Things to ponder. Call me McDonald’s, I have ideas.

Posted: 25th, May 2020 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Dresden: Kurt Vonnegut remembers the World War Two bombing

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt Vonnegut (November 11, 1922 – April 11, 2007) survived the allied bombing of Dresden during World War II. It inspired his novel Slaughterhouse Five.

The Allied onslaught on the German’s industrial and transportation hub was brutal. On 13 February 1945, British aircraft began the attack on the eastern German city of Dresden. In less than half an hour, warplanes dropped 1,800 tons of bombs. More then 25,000 people died in the firestorm. “Dresden was one big flame. The one flame ate everything organic, everything that would burn,” Vonnegut wrote. The city became “like the moon now, nothing but minerals. The stones were hot. Everybody else in the neighbourhood was dead.”

In 1983, Vonnegut recalled his time in an underground meat locker as a prisoner of war in Dresden for the BBC – ‘And So It Goes’:

Posted: 13th, February 2020 | In: Books, Celebrities, Key Posts, News, The Consumer | Comment


Wixing with Wix : Germany wanks for a better web

Wix, the cloud-based web development platform, went to Germany to talk about Wixing. In Germany, wixing means wanking. In times gone by, wixing lent habtual wankers a “a greenish tint around the eyes” (women) and acute shrinkage (men).

Posted: 17th, December 2019 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Loew brushes off Arsenal star Ozil’s claims of racism

When Arsenal’s Mesut Ozil retied from international football for what he saw as racism in the German FA (DFB), Joachim Loew, his head coach, waited. And today he delivered his response. “Mesut made allegations of racism,” says Loew, “but I can clearly say that in the DFB, there have never been racist comments.” Maybe the racism is more subtle?

“The players with an immigration background have always enjoyed playing for us and nothing has changed,” adds Loew (seen below). But it has changed. It changed when Ozil said: “I am German when we win, but I am an immigrant when we lose.” The player voted the German national team’s player of the year five times since 2011 by supporters says he’s the victim of racism. That is a change.

 

joachim loew sniffing

 

Loew seems keen to isolate Ozil. “His advisor called me to inform me that Mesut would issue the third part of his statement,” says Loew. “The player himself did not call me, which normally players have done in the past. Mesut has still not called and for the last two weeks I have unsuccessfully tried to reach him. I am sure there will be a chance for a personal conversation in the future. He has chosen this path – I have to accept that.”

The background to this is Germany’s failure at the summer’s World Cup and Ozil and Manchester City’s Ilkay Gundogan – two players born in Germany to Turkish parents – meeting with Turkey’s first executive president Recep Tayyip Erdogan. The president pumped out photos of the meeting. Cue Germans accusing the players of divided loyalties.

Gündogan recently told Westdeutsche Allgemeine Zeitung: “Tell me, is it not racism when a German politician writes on Facebook: ‘The German national team is made up of 25 Germans and two goat-f***ers’?” Bernd Holzhauer, an SPD councillor, resigned after that outburst. “Such remarks must be labelled as racism. However, it does not mean that everyone in Germany is racist. Absolutely not. Almost all of my experiences in my life in Germany have been positive. But there are people who have used the photo for their political agenda. And in this context, the racism line was sometimes crossed.”

Loew’s response is to deny any problem. “His claims of racism are exaggerated,” said Low. “Within my team during my time here, there has been not even a hint of racism.” Ozil never said there was racism in the team. Maybe it’s time to raise your gaze…

Posted: 29th, August 2018 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Bayern Munich president says Ozil is ‘shit’ at Arsenal

Bayern Munich president Uli Hoeness has been swift to appraise Mesut Ozil’s contribution to German international football.  Ozil, 29, has retired from the German side, citing the fierce reaction to that photo he took alongside Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan and racism as reasons to call it a day. Ozil says he is “German when we win but an immigrant when we lose”.

Hoeness says Ozil quit years ago. He’s been “shit for years”. Sport Bild reports (via the Google Translate mangle):

Ozil has been playing like shit for years. I think he won his last tackle before the 2014 World Cup.

All he is doing on the field is playing cross passes.

No-one questioned he was playing crap at the World Cup. His 35 million follower boys, who of course do not exist in the real world, all think that he has played excellently if he plays a cross pass.

Whenever we played against Arsenal, we played on him because we knew he was the weak point.

Now he hides himself and his crap performances behind this photo.

Ozil was the weak point at Arsenal? Not the defence, the goalkeeper, the strikers, the manager..?

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


‘Racists’ force Arsenal star Ozil to quit Germany team

In news to hearten online trolls and bigots, Arsenal footballer Mesut Ozil intends to stop playing for Germany. Ozil, part of the German side that won the 2014 World Cup winner, says a combination of online harassment and the asinine behaviour of the German Football Association (DFB) means he “no longer want to wear the German national team shirt”.

 

ozil erdogan gundogan

 

The attacks are not all related to Ozil’s performances for Germany, which have been mixed. In May he was criticised after being photographed with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan inLondon. Ozil and Manchester City’s German international Ilkay Gundogan are of Turkish descent. Both were invited to meet Turkey’s authoritarian leader who used photographs of him and the footballers to boost his governing AK Party in the build-up to elections in the country. Well over a million people in Germany with a Turkish background are eligible to vote in the election, which Erdogan won (natch.).

 

ozil erdogan gundogan ozil erdogan gundogan

 

Ozil said he would have been “disrespecting his ancestors’ roots” had he not agreed to be meet Erdogan. Gündoğan, who like Ozil holds German and Turkish passports, presented Erdogan with the signed shirt bearing the legend: “To my president, with my respects.”

The background is relevant:

World Cup winner Özil was awarded an “integration” prize by the Hubert Burda Media group in 2010. That year the president of Germany’s football association (DFB) had complained about politicising football after Merkel made an unscheduled visit to the Germany changing room following a 3-0 win over Turkey. Photographs of the German chancellor were distributed by the government to the press afterwards.

So much for the politics and football. Incidentally, the above segment is taken from the Guardian, the paper in which a writer looked at the England World Cup team and opined: “If this team represents anyone, it’s the 48 per cent of Remainers.” This is because the England squad for Russia featured “11 players of colour”. That’s good thing, you see, because in the eyes of the knowing and enlightened being “too white”, an accusation levelled at the Russia team, is a bad thing. You were watching the football; they were studying the ethnic and racial make up of the team. Germany is not so far removed from the UK when it comes to the weak game of identity politics.

DFB chief Reinhard Grindel goes on the record: “The DFB of course respects the special situation for our players with migrant backgrounds, but football and the DFB stands for values that Mr Erdoğan does not sufficiently respect.” So much for not politicising football.

Ozil repsonds on Twitter:

“For me, having a picture with President Erdoğan wasn’t about politics or elections, it was about me respecting the highest office of my family’s country.

“My job is a football player and not a politician, and our meeting was not an endorsement of any policies. The treatment I have received from the DFB and many others makes me no longer want to wear the German national team shirt. I feel unwanted and think what I have achieved since my international debut in 2009 has been forgotten…

“People with racially discriminative backgrounds should not be allowed to work in the largest football federation in the world that has players from dual‑heritage families. Attitudes like theirs simply do not reflect the players they supposedly represent. In the eyes of Grindel and his supporters, I am German when we win but I am an immigrant when we lose.

“It is with a heavy heart and after much consideration that because of recent events I will no longer be playing for Germany at international level whilst I have this feeling of racism and disrespect. I used to wear the German shirt with such pride and excitement, but now I don’t. I feel unwanted and think that what I have achieved since my international debut in 2009 has been forgotten.

“I am disappointed but not surprised by [Grindel’s] actions,” the 29-year-old added. “But when high-ranking DFB officials disrespect my Turkish roots and selfishly turn me into political propaganda, then enough is enough.”

“The 29-year-old added that he had received abuse online, and claimed he was racially abused by a supporter after the match against Sweden.

“A German fan told me after the game, ‘Özil, fuck off you Turkish shit, piss off you Turkish pig.’ I don’t want to even discuss the hate mail, threatening phone calls and comments on social media that my family and I have received.

“They all represent a Germany of the past, a Germany that I am not proud of. I am confident that many proud Germans who embrace an open society would agree with me.”

Good for him.

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Sports | Comment


In Germany you can drink at the UnBrexit pub

In Ahaus, Germany, you can drink at the UnBrexit pub. spotted the place which opened in July this year:

 

UnBrexit pub germany

UnBrexit pub germany

 

British pubs are closing – patrons driven away by the smoking ban and a lack of cash; pulled home by discount supermarket fizz, central heating, your own toilet, fridges, smart phones and take-away delivery drivers schlepping round anything your heart desires to shove in your pie-hole. The pub, once the hub of British social life has been killed off by wealth.

The UnBrexit is more Harvester than hipster. No stripped brick walls, rickety, eclectic furniture and too-cool-for-school staff who do tattoos with irony and holes with narcissism. This one’s got those vomit-friendly carpets, high seating and a gastropub menu.

 

Unbrexit Unbrexit Unbrexit

 

The theme pub is on a mission:

The die is cast: Britain will leave the European Union. But only one year after the British have voted to quit the EU, The Unbrexit is our answer to this unexpected referendum: 400 sq m of British ground in the center of Europe. The Unbrexit will be the last British place remaining part of the EU in the near future.

Order your lasagna and chips at the bar.

Posted: 3rd, August 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


Children’s cigarette dummies are smoking’s new taboo

Richard Littler‏ spots this warning on cigaret packets in Germany. He tweets: “My powers of judgement are totally shot. From this image, I can’t tell if smoking is a good or bad thing.”

 

dummy smoking

 

First one to spot this in novelty gift shop, et us know.

Spotter: the excellent Richard Littler

 

Posted: 27th, June 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


World Nose Championships: world’s biggest human nose winners announced

big nose

 

To the World Nose Championship took place in Langenbruck, Bavaria, Germany, where the search to find the world’s biggest human nose is on. Hosted by the Langenbruck Nose Club, founded by hop-growers in 1961, the rules are clear: noses must be at least four centimetres wide or six centimetres long for men and five centimetres long for women. The largest nose is defined by adding the length and width.

 

big nose 1

 

The winner (men’s) was Hans Roest. “People with big noses are happy, friendly people,” said Susanne Kloiber who won the women’s event.

 

 

Posted: 22nd, June 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Hitler obeys orders and leaves his keys to Tegernsee

hitler-football“Adieu, Adolf!” salutes the Tegernseers Stimme newspaperAfter a mere 83 years, the Tegernsee burghers have stripped Hitler of his “freedom of the city”.

Should the dead controversialist seek to roam the town in the dead of night, riding a goat to Poland and gargling sparrows, or whatever else the title of honorary citizen gives him the right to do, he can’t.

Of course, Hitler might carry on anyhow, murdering anyone who tells him to stop. He was not all that good at obeying orders, which is ironic, of course.

Posted: 10th, April 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment


German town invites male drivers to park between a naked woman’s legs

man parking place 2 sexist germany

 

The “men’s parking space” invites drivers to park between “Steep mountains, moist valleys”. The “Männerparkplatz” in the Black Forest town of Triberg is just a joke, says Triberg Mayor Dr. Gallus Strobel claims.

But gender equality activists in Baden-Württemberg are not l,aughing. They say:

“This type of sexist advertising, which uses a woman’s naked body to grab attention and suggests women are a sexual commodity, is both misogynistic and inhuman.”

man parking place

 

Mayor Strobel responds:

“It’s a matter of artistic freedom. Art is allowed to provoke people, and should do so.”

 

man parking place 2 sexist germany

 

As we Mr Strobel browses the ‘art collection’ on the top shelf of his local newsagents and his laptop, the artist behind this piece of adolescent crud says it’s not him. Werner Oppelt, for it is he,  explains:

“I was unwilling to take part in this from the start. It’s simply not my style.”

As distracted male drivers misjudge their distances we await an artwork featuring mayor Stobel’s and artist Oppelt shunting one another in a small wood.

Posted: 19th, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


German court says it’s not racist to firebomb synagogues, mosques and churches so long as you have the right thinking

In “German Court Rules Synagogue Firebombing an ‘Act of Protest’”, the Daily Beast takes up the story of three ‘protesters’ who ‘brought attention to the Gaza conflict” by setting fire to a synagogue.

You might suppose that this was further proof that the West’s shrill, highly selective criticism of Israel (and, of course that country makes mistakes – often bad ones) is rooted in anti-Semitism.

James Kichick makes an analogy:

A group of skinheads torch a black church somewhere in the Deep South. Upon being apprehended by the police, they cite the injustices that Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe has visited upon the white farmers of his country as justification for their arson. Mugabe is black, he rules on behalf of “the black race,” and therefore black people everywhere must be made to feel responsible for his crimes.

Anyone making such a ridiculous argument would rightly be labeled a racist. But change the victims from black people to Jews, and the perpetrators from pale neo-Nazis to dark-skinned Muslims, and a great many people will claim that what is obviously a crime motivated by blatant bigotry is in fact a politically-inspired protest.

So. To Wuppertal, Germany, where two German-Palestinian men are in the dock (the third is too young to be tried in the same court). They are accused of setting fire to a synangogue. CNN would surely say that Muslims could have been the target, perhaps visiting the synagogue for a get-together on spiritual matters, on a school trip or eating in the kosher cafe behind the synangogue’s bulletproof windows. But mostly likely the targets were Jews.

The group (three were arrested – one was aged 18; the others were aged 24 and 29) were armed with home-made firebombs on the night of Sunday July 28th. They all denied involvement. But then the 24-year-old admitted it:

“We threw the bottles, both the others ran away and I stayed. Two bottles hit the door and the wall. Three didn’t reach the building, we were really drunk.”

Leonid Goldberg, chariman of Wuppertal’s Jewish cultural association feels the hatred:

“For years now, our rabbis haven’t worn their kippahs in public as they go through Wuppertal. Jews that do wear their kippah in public attempt to hide it by wearing a hat on top so that they don’t have to hear insults from young Muslims, most of all.”

But this is not 1938, when the synagogue was smashed on state orders. Germany’s Central Council of Muslims has condemend the attacks. Many locals protested in support of the Jews.

Chancellor Angela Merkel says the Jewish way of life “is part of our identity”: “We want [members of the Jewish community] to feel safe in Germany.”

Chairman of the Central Muslim Council, Aiman Mazyek stands tall:

“I am a Jew when synagogues are attacked. I am a Christian when Christians are persecuted for example in Iraq. And I am a Muslim when firebombs are thrown at their places of worship. As a society we have to stand together.”

 

sharia police

 

But intolerance is on the rise:

Germany is experiencing a growing Salafist population, especially in the state of North Rhine-Westphalia. There are around 1,800 followers of the ultra-conservative branch of Islam there. Wuppertal is Germany’s number-one city for Salafists, who preach a very conservative interpretation of Islam and reject any form of democracy.

And thern there are German attacks on circumcision, kosher and halal meat.

To make intolerance and racism fester and grow you need willing fools in power. So. The judge finds the men in the dock guilty of arson. But he rules that it was not an attack motivated by racism. He says it was an attack designed to  “bring attention to the Gaza conflict”.

Wrong. It was racist. Wholly racist.

And if you’re afraid or too stupid to say it, your words and deeds do not foster tolerance and empathy – they spread division, martydom and hatred.

 The BBC’s Tim Willcox is away.

Posted: 10th, February 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

FLASHBACK to November 14 1987:

West German Minister for Economic Cooperation, Hans Klein, right, dances with Elke Koska, wife and muse of German conceptual artist HA Schult, at the annual federal press ball on Friday, November 14, 1987 at the Beethoven Hall in Bonn, Germany.

PA-11615644

 

It’s cracking photo.

And it’s her we’re looking at, isn’t. It;’ what she hoped we’d do. Here’s Elke in 2009:

 

PA-7990184

 

 

This is her husband and his work:

 

German performance artist HA Schult, right, holds a small model of the famous Cologne Cathedral, which he along with engineers and trainees of the Ford company rebuilds by assembling car fittings in Cologne, Germany, Tuesday, March 21, 2006. The sculpture, seen being assembled in background, will be auctioned to raise money for victims orphaned by the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The auction will be held in New York at the end of 2006.

German performance artist HA Schult, right, holds a small model of the famous Cologne Cathedral, which he along with engineers and trainees of the Ford company rebuilds by assembling car fittings in Cologne, Germany, Tuesday, March 21, 2006. The sculpture, seen being assembled in background, will be auctioned to raise money for victims orphaned by the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The auction will be held in New York at the end of 2006.

 

People view sculptures by the German environmental artist HA Schult at the Grand Place in Brussels, Friday April 1, 2005. The 1,000 different sculptures of 'Trash People' are intended to draw people's attention to environmental problems. The exhibit opened on March 31 and runs until April 4, 2005. (AP Photo/Geert Vanden Wijngaert)

People view sculptures by the German environmental artist HA Schult at the Grand Place in Brussels, Friday April 1, 2005. The 1,000 different sculptures of ‘Trash People’ are intended to draw people’s attention to environmental problems. The exhibit opened on March 31 and runs until April 4, 2005. 

 

And here’s Hans Klein. We were looking at Elke’s gigantic hair and HA’s zany art. But it’s Hans who turns out to be the one to watch:

 

PA-11615596

 

 

Former Munich Summer Olympics chief press officer, CSU member of parliament Hans "Johnny" Klein, smokes a cigarette on May 2, 1977 in Bonn, Germany.

Former Munich Summer Olympics chief press officer, CSU member of parliament Hans “Johnny” Klein, smokes a cigarette on May 2, 1977 in Bonn, Germany.

German government spokesman Hans Klein, dressed in carnival costume, left, smiles surrounded by dancers at a carnival party on February 21, 1990 at the Chancellery in Bonn, Germany.

German government spokesman Hans Klein, dressed in carnival costume, left, smiles surrounded by dancers at a carnival party on February 21, 1990 at the Chancellery in Bonn, Germany.

 

If you spot a recurring theme, do say:

 

collage

 

Hans Klein, the old charmer, died on December 2 1996.

A trained journalist, a diplomat, press officer of the Olympic Games in Munich, close friend of Franz Josef Strauss and development minister. He became Helmut Kohl’s government spokesman in April 1989.  It was job he called: “The worst suicide mission to which I have ever gotten myself into.” After the Berlin Wall carbon let his chancellery minister Rudolf Seiter inform the media. ”

We need more charmers like him in politics.

 

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Politicians | Comment


Help! There’s A Drunk Man Asleep On My Horse

sleeping man horse

PHOTO of the day: A 26-year-old man was found sleeping on a woman’s horse in Landsberg, Germany.

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Posted: 30th, October 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment


The Goethe-Institut Says Germans Are Even More Terrified Of Germans Than You Are

goethe institut

ALL we know about Germans we learnt from the Goethe-Institut, “the Federal Republic of Germany’s cultural institution operational worldwide”:

We promote the study of German abroad and encourage international cultural exchange. We also foster knowledge about Germany by providing information on its culture, society and politics. Our educational and training products enable mobility in an international learning community.

A new video called “Typical German: Professional vs. Personal” explains more.

Why do Germans stick to the point?

Why do they value stability and structure?

Why do Germans never leave things to chance?

Why do they stay focused on the objective?

Answer: They fear other Germans.

The division of Germany into smaller states meant Germans were “constantly surrounded by enemies”. 

You see? If you don’t like Germans and wonder why they bombed your granny’s house you should blame Germans – the other Germans:

 

It’s all a huge misunderstanding. “We’re all Germans…”

 

 

Posted: 20th, October 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment


The 1931 cooked hot-dog vending machine

IN 1931, you could buy a warm sausage from a German vending machine, like this one.

You can buy pretty much anything from a vending machine: live crabs, tax discs for prostitutes, gold, drugs, used panties, breasts, lobster, toilet paper, eggs, iPods, flowers, cars and caviar.

Would you eat this sausage? Not now. It would be in its 80s. Then. It looks a lot like the machine is is going to the toilet. and this sausage model, the good hot dog owner, is collecting its waste to chuck in the bin…

 

sausages

Posted: 28th, July 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment


German farmers collect straw bales in the style of Wernher von Braun (video)

Wernher von Braun

IN this video, we catch up with the descendants of Wernher von Braun (“He aimed at the stars but sometimes he hit London”) now working as rocketeer farmers in the German lands:

Posted: 17th, June 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


A wonderful history of German football clubs in Europe: 1960 til now

THE Germans are coming (again)

German football didn’t turn professional until the mid-sixties, but by that time the (West Germany) national team had already won the World Cup, and one of their clubs had reached the final of the European Champions Cup.

Germany1

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Posted: 24th, May 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Crime is dead: 5 tonnes of Nutella stolen

Italy Nutella War

IN a break from Margaret Thatcher’s death news, this just in: Crime isn’t what it used to be. Remember when people tried to steal trains filled with money? Remember diamond thieves? Remember organised crime in good tailoring? Counterfeiting, glamorous drug barons and ties to the entertainment business?

That’s all gone.

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Posted: 8th, April 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment