Posts Tagged ‘germany’
Good old Germany finally outlaws having sex with animals… but not without opposition
HAVING sex with an animal is pretty much universally frowned upon. It doesn’t matter how much you sexualise your cat on Instagram, you know you’re not actually allowed to make love to its tiny undercarriage. Besides, it’d probably smell like tinned meat.
That all taken into consideration, it may surprise you that Germany is only just getting round to banning all forms of bestiality by law.
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Posted: 26th, November 2012 | In: Strange But True | Comment
The mysterious death of Uwe Sattler – Germany’s Gareth Williams
TO Hamburg, German, where the body of 43-year-old Uwe Sattler has been found. He has been shot in the head. He has been tied-up in a sack. A rucksack is on his back – it’s full of rocks. The sack is in the River Elbe.
The can be only one explanation: suicide! A Hamburg police spokesman tells us:
“We are 99.999 percent certain it was suicide. There is no other explanation; no other motive and no other evidence.”
Reaction to Twitter’s block on German Neo-Nazi group
TWITTER has decided, for the first time, to block German’s access to the account of a neo-Nazi group. This is the first time Twitter has decided to act on a policy known as “country withheld content”.
“Never want to withhold content; good to have tools to do it narrowly & transparently,” said Alex MacGillivray, the company’s general counsel, posted on Twitter Thursday morning in Germany.
“It’s not a great thing, but it’s a way of minimizing censorship,” said Jillian C. York, director for international freedom of expression at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a civil liberties group. “It’s better for Twitter if they can keep countries happy without having to take the whole thing down.”
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Posted: 18th, October 2012 | In: Technology | Comment
14-year-old boys steal from mum to hire prostitutes
TO Germany, where two 14-year-olds are delighted to be in trouble. One of the boys stole €3,000 worth of jewellery from his mother. The pair sold the booty for €300 and invested the cash in prostitutes working out of a brothel in Karlsruhe.
Mum shopped them to the fuzz.
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Posted: 10th, October 2012 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
German traffic lights let road crossers play pong
IN GERMANY, crossing those wide boulevards is no longer a marching exercise. Road crossers can now play pong against someone waiting on the other side of the street.
In Delhi they play Frogger. In Bangkok at rush hour, it’s Tetris. In Mexico City, it’s Grand Theft Auto. And so on…
Posted: 6th, September 2012 | In: Technology | Comment
Germany’s purge on circumcision enshrines its anti-Semitism in law
IS Germany’s looming ban on child circumcision anti-Semitic? A German court has ruled that circumcision constitutes bodily harm. Those parents who allow it are child abusers. It follows that Jews are child abusers. Their parents are liable to prosecution. And not just in GErmany.
In Norway, Centre Party spokesperson Jenny Klinge, said: “Circumcision on religious grounds should be a criminal offence.” In San Francisco, Foreskin Man is a superhero fighting evildoers (Jews and Muslims).
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Posted: 14th, July 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (68)
Germany outlaws child circumcision – Muslims and Jews should be afraid
FIRST they came for the halal and kosher meat.
Then they came for the clothes.
Now a court in Cologne, Germany, has decreed that circumcision constitutes bodily harm and is thus outside the a legal guardian’s authority.
The Financial Times Deutschland reports on a Muslim doctor, who, at the request of the boy’s parents, circumcised a four-year-old. The procedure did not go well. The boy needed hospital treatment.
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Posted: 26th, June 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (8)
In photos: Wave-Gotik-Treffen (Wave Gothic Festival) in Leipzig, Germany
IN Photos: the Wave-Gotik-Treffen (Wave Gothic Festival) in Leipzig, eastern Germany. The skulls and the crossbones represent “dark culture”. In Germany, they might well symbolise recent history…
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Participants of the industrial and gothic music festival Wave-Gotik-Treffen play with their costumes in Leipzig, eastern Germany, on Saturday, May 26, 2012. For several days, Leipzig has become a real gothic paradise  white makeup, bold-up eyes, black hair and incredible outfits. (AP Photo/Jens Meyer)
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad breaks the UN – Germany carnival season photos
IT’S carnival season in Germany. Well, you’ve got got use those big wide marching roads for something. Look out for Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad throwing a nuclear bomb on the UN headquarters in Cologne, German Chancellor Angela Merkel on a death trap Duesseldorf, and the same leader being mounted by Sarkozy of France. Such is the love…
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A carnival float depicts Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad throwing an nuclear bomb on the UN headquarters during the traditional carnival parade in Cologne, western Germany, Monday, Feb. 20, 2012. The foolish street spectacles in the carnival center Cologne, watched by hundreds of thousands of people, are the highlights in Germany's carnival season on Rosemonday. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner)
Forest Boy Is Raymond: English speaking boy who lived in German woods awaits Tom Cruise
WHO is ‘Forest Boy’, the English speaking youth found living in a German forest? Well, you’re going to have to wait a while. A spokesman for Germany’s youth protectorate says:
“He wants no publicity and we have nothing more to say on this subject. We will not enter into discussions about secrecy or otherwise. There will be no more information forthcoming on this case.”
And so having been reminded of Forest Boy, we are told yo forget him.
It was back in September 5 2011, that the lad wandered into Berlin city hall claiming to have lived in the forest for five years with his father. Said he:
“I’m all alone in the world. I don’t know who I am. Please can you help me?”
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Yup, we really should copy the Germans
IT’S one of those things in the air, you’ve noticed I hope? All these pieces floating around saying that as Germany has low unemployment then we should obviously be doing what Germany has done in order to have low unemployment.
And yes, seems fair enough really. Thing is, you’ve got to work out what it is that Germany has done before you can copy it. And it isn’t as simple as seeing that Germany has apprenticeships so we should, or that Germany has manufacturing, so we should have manufacturing. These are like noting that Germany speaks German so we should speak German.
The big influence upon unemployment is the price of labour. No, not wages paid, but wages paid as compared to what is produced with that labour. In the jargon of economics, the unit labour cost.
You can see from IMF data that the silent coup took place in the fat years of the global boom when Germany forced down unit labour costs; -1.7pc in 2003, -4.0pc in 2004, -3.3pc in 2005, -1.8pc in 2006.
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Posted: 6th, February 2012 | In: Money | Comments (2)
German museum invites men to urinate into women’s mouths
TO Lüchow, Germany, where two urinals in the men’s toilet of a museum dedicated to the Rolling Stones are upsetting the women. Those Rolling Stone ceramic lips, designed by Dutch artist Meike van Schijndel, have no tongues.
Roda Armbruster is quoted in Der Spiegel:
“That’s discrimination against women. Why does it have to be a woman’s mouth? If it had been based on the emblem of the Stones with the tongue, it would have been OK. But the tongue’s been left out and they really looks like women’s mouths.”
No tongues in the men’s urinal. Just a big gaping mouth to urinate into. If Kim Kardashian did toilets…
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Posted: 2nd, February 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comments (6)
The German way of dealing with unemployment
THE usual Guardianista rant about how lovely Germany is with its apprentice schemes and low youth unemployment:
In the battle between rival systems, “Rhineland capitalism” appears to be winning hands down. In the two years since the global economic downturn in 2009, Germany has expanded employment by 1.8m, while the UK, US, France, Italy and Spain have shed 7m jobs. In 2007, when most other countries were nearing the end of a boom driven by excess credit, Germany had the highest unemployment rate (8.7% of the workforce on a harmonised basis) of the group of seven leading industrialised countries. Yet in late 2011, according to OECD figures, German unemployment, at 5.2%, was the lowest in the G7 apart from Japan.
Note that very interesting comparison there between the countries with near 500 million people and one with 80 million odd. You can prove almost anything you like if you’re willing to switch denominators like that.
But much more important than that sort of statistical game is the thing that they’re not telling us about that German system.
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Posted: 27th, January 2012 | In: Money | Comments (2)
Germans Delighted: England Will Wear Nazi-Style Red Armbands On Poppy Day
GREAT news for England, the Daily Mail, David Cameron, the EDL and other English patriots: England’s footballers can wear the red poppy on their smart uniforms, albeit on the armband.
It’s the kind of compromise the German soldiers Our Boys fought so bravely can also approve of, great fans of red armbands, such as they were.
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Shock As German Gays Hate Pope!
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THERE may be only one letter difference between pop and Pope, but the gays of Germany certainly know the difference.
While pop and poppers may give them the occasional headache, Pope Benedict is a whole new level of pain in the arse. And as such, his first official visit to his homeland is to meet strong opposition.
The Pontiff, in his funny red shoes like the David Bowie song, has made informal visits to Germany before, but this is his first official visit.
Up to 20,000 people, including gay rights campaigners, feminists, atheists and church abuse survivors, are expected to gather for a protest in Berlin. Meanwhile, the Pope is expected to completely disregard anything anyone says because he’s God’s best friend.
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Posted: 22nd, September 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Ficken Schnapps: German Brand Uses F-Word To Tell Customers To F-Off
FICKEN schnapps is now on the shelves in Germany. Ficken is the German word for “f*ck”. Germany’s Federal Patent Court has decreed that the word “ficken” can be registered as a trademark. Ficken is now registered at the German Patent and Trademark Office.
The company behind the brand says “Ficken” will appear on clothing, mineral water and fruit drinks.
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Posted: 16th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Boy Made To Tidy Room Calls Police On His Mother
THE German boy has called the police on his mother. She’s being using him as “forced labour”. He tells the police:
“I have to work all day long. I haven’t any free time.”
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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Why You Should Avoid German Vegetables And Stick With Scottish Beatle Larva
COMPARE and contrast the diets.
First, we look at the Vegetarian Diet. Killer German bean sprouts (formerly killer Spanish cucumbers) have so far claimed 22 lives and left thousands in hospital.
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Posted: 6th, June 2011 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)
Nazi Lars Von Trier Earns Rave Reviews In Austria, Germany, Paraguay, Eltham And Switzerland
LARS Von Trier’s film Melancholia will be a big hit in the beer cellars of Austria, and a wow with the key Unrepentant Old Racist demographic in Switzerland, Germany, Paraguay, parts of Eltham, south east London, and Brazil.
Von Trier, a Dane, was sat alongside film star Kirsten Dunst while praising Hitler at the Cannes Film Festival and “joking” about being a Nazi. What he said was:
“I really wanted to be a Jew, and then I found out that I was really a Nazi, because, you know, my family was German. Which also gave me some pleasure. What can I say? I understand Hitler, but I think he did some wrong things, yes, absolutely. But I can see him sitting in his bunker in the end. He’s not what you would call a good guy, but I understand much about him, and I sympathize with him a little bit. But come on, I’m not for the Second World War, and I’m not against Jews… I am very much for Jews. No, not too much, because Israel is a pain in the ass. How can I get out of this sentence? OK, I’m a Nazi.”
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Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Royal Wedding Song: Jealous German Lament A British Empire Lost
THE Royal wedding marks a step further away from the ruling house’s German roots. Kate Middleton (part Jew), riles the Hun. Der Spiegel’s London hack Marco Evans writes:
The wedding of William and Kate on Friday will be a joke, a hopelessly overhyped celebration of an absurdly undemocratic system, writes SPIEGEL London correspondent Marco Evers. He pities the bride for her imminent loss of freedom, and wonders why this eccentric nation continues to worship the Windsors.
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Posted: 29th, April 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
German Train Refuses To Stop For Child Stuck On Board: Must Run On Time
THE train hurtling through Germany cannot be stopped. It has to run on time. Two-year-old Marie Luise Kracht, who is now alone on the train, must wait for the train to make a scheduled stop.
Marie’s mum, one Ulrike Kracht, 19, became separated from her child when the automatic doors on the Deutsche Bahn train closed. He had removed her bags and pram from the train and was about to go back for her daughter when the doors shot.
Says mum:
“It was the worst moment of my life. I heard Marie Luise shout ‘mama’ and she was gone!”
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Posted: 7th, March 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
Leading German Singles Out The Jewish Gene
THILO Sarrazin, who is not a wizard not a drug to combat blood clots, works on the board of Germany’s Bundesbank. He has penned a book called Deutschland schafft sich ab (translation: “Germany does away with itself“) in which, as the Mail notes:
In particular he singles out Muslims for failing to integrate and having low IQs….
Unlike Germans who have a history of thinking for themselves?
‘Muslims immigrants don’t integrate as well as other immigrant groups across Europe. The reasons for this are apparently not based on their ethnicity, but are rooted in their culture of Islam,’ he told Welt am Sonntag.
And then he came to the Jews:
In that same interview, he said “All Jews share a certain gene. Basques have particular genes, that distinguishes them from others.”
What do Jews and Basques have in common, readers? No, not a gene – unless it’s a gene that turns Germans into murderous warmongers.
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Posted: 30th, August 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (8)
Massive Party Breaks Out On A40 Road Rave
THE BBC asks: “Have you been to the party on the A40?”
We did once eat an entire pack of cocktail sausages waiting to get off the flyover by Shepherd’s Bush. And we did have the radio on. And there were sirens heard. So. Maybe it was a party. But, then, no-one shagged a goat and shat in the freezer. (Yeah, Edmonds – you may blush.)
While readers respond, we look to Germany, where a 60km stretch of the A40 Autobahn has been given over to pedestrians and cyclists. Local knobs have supplied 20,000 tables for “the longest banquet in the world” in the middle of the motorway between the cities of Dortmund and Duisburg.
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Posted: 18th, July 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Germany Declares Obama Defeat ‘The End Of Hope’
ONCE Barack Obama bestode Germany like a, well, Hitler with a dream. Now Germany now grieves for “the end of hope”:
US President Barack Obama suffered a painful defeat in Massachusetts on Tuesday. With mid-term elections looming, it means that Obama will have to fundamentally re-think his political course. German commentators say it is the end of hope.
Obama Jugend: Obama Youth Junior Fraternity Regiment
Germany Wants A Boris Becker Moment With Obama
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Posted: 22nd, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Herr Koch Discovers Online Hooker Is Spotty Male Boy
GERMAN born – oh, nominative determinism – Stefan Koch bid £1,400 to shag a model only to find out that the siren was really spotty, 17-year-old Dieter Muhr.
A bonus? Says Koch:
“I saw the auction on the internet and put in a bid straight away.”
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment
