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Posts Tagged ‘glastonbury’

Glastonbury: Liam Gallagher ad libs about the smoke machine mid-song

You know how it is. The artist comes on stage. He wants to sing his new stuff but the crowd are there to hear the old faves. But at Glastonbury 2017, Oasis singer Liam Gallagher combined the two to leave everyone happy.

Having introduced his new song Wall Of Glass, Gallagher then moved into Oasis territory with Rock N Roll Star, Don’t Look Back In Anger and What’s The Story?, in which he ad-libbed a new line about a fog machine. “Turn that fucking shit fog machine off,” sings Liam in a departure from the normal lyrics.

The crowd loved it.


Posted: 27th, June 2017 | In: Celebrities, Music, News | Comment

Jeremy Corbyn finds his natural home in Glastonbury’s police state

Jeremy Corbyn at Glastonbury is perfect. Corbyn will preach about the rich who aren’t able to tell you the cost of a pint of milk (cow’s not almond) while addressing the middle-aged and middle-classes who can afford the better drugs and cosier tents, who can take a few days off work to spend £238 to stand in their Jerusalem and even more on bottled water, sparkling wine, a cutting of AK47 and sanitary wipes.


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Corbyn is among his people at Glastonbury, the big BBC-endorsed party of organised rebellion and spiritual bollocks headlined by Ed Sheeran – the ultimate box-ticking performer Simon Cowell would decant into his cloning machine.

As the middle-classes realise they’re paying a fortune to watch Newsnight Live! whilst striving to make little suburban front gardens in the mud, the rest of us can laugh our heads off enjoying the televised rain-soaked hell of all those poor sods at Glasto, knowing that the campers are staring into bucketfuls of projectile rectal pebble-dashing wondering if spending the price of a Tuscan holiday and a good plumber pretending to be homeless and incontinent was worth it.

Go Jezza! Yay! You really are at home in your curtained-off, self-governing, hard-border mini-state patrolled by millions of police – a city-dweller’s vision of the countryside that runs on Boden, bankers and bands they play on Radio 2.

Posted: 22nd, June 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Glastonbury: an incredible video shows what festival goers leave behind

When I first saw the videos “things left behind at Glastonbury”, I expected to see Jake passed out in the mud and Sienna entangled in a huge dream catcher. What the video shows is tents – lots and lots and lots of tents abandoned by festival goers. It is mind-blowing to see. These tents cost a lot money. Why would you just leave it behind for someone else to pack away? Why not burn it and keep warm?

Posted: 4th, July 2016 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Glastonbury Festival kills British steel with recycled cups

Glastonbury steel cup

“Get ’em while they’re hot!”

The Central Somerset Gazette has news:

Glastonbury Festival supporting British steel with 250,000 reusable stainless steel cups for 2016

How is that supporting British steel, then? The Tata-owned steel works at Port Talbot in south Wales is in trouble. It produces slab, hot rolled, cold rolled and galvanised coil. That’s new steel – virgin steel.

Festival organiser Michael Eavis pulls on a thick glove, holds aloft a steel cup for your red-hot coffee (ouch!) and tells the Somerset paper: “..the single most important thing was being able to source British stainless steel for the cups from the place where it was invented – Sheffield, and then to take it on to the home of manufacture – Birmingham.”

But how does this help British steel?

Teaming up with APS Metal Pressing Ltd, the cups are made from recycled steel which is smelted in Sheffield… “Week after week, there’s a story in the national press about jobs in the UK steel industry being put at risk. There’s seemingly no end to the negative slide of this critical industry and with it the jobs, skills and infrastructure are lost and won’t be replaced.”

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Posted: 15th, April 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Glastonbury Pain: Help Us Find The Sorrowful Man In These Photos

DO you know this man seen at Glastonbury, looking sorrowful stood in the rain?

What is he looking at?


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Posted: 28th, June 2014 | In: Music | Comment

Prince Decides He’s Too Good For The Middle-Class Yoghurt Fest Called Glastonbury

U.S pop singer Prince, second left, and unidentified women, watch Spain's Rafael Nadal playing Serbia's Dusan Lajovic during their fourth round match of the French Open tennis tournament at the Roland Garros stadium, in Paris, France, Monday, June 2, 2014. (AP Photo/Darko Vojinovic)

U.S pop singer Prince, second left, and unidentified women, watch Spain’s Rafael Nadal playing Serbia’s Dusan Lajovic during their fourth round match of the French Open tennis tournament at the Roland Garros stadium, in Paris, France, Monday, June 2, 2014. (AP Photo/Darko Vojinovic)


SOCIAL MEDIA eh? People talking to each other about whatever they want? Dreadful isn’t it? How dare people have another conversational tool to add to the pen and paper, telephone, email and text message canon?

Anyway, social media’s chatter has apparently made up Prince’s mind about something, which shows a remarkable lack of backbone from the pint-sized genius.

Michael Eavis has said that Prince became “really upset” with Glastonbury organisers over what he called “social media rumours”.

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Posted: 24th, June 2014 | In: Music | Comment

Oasis Are Getting Back Together For One Huge Gig

(left to right) Oasis guitarist Gem Archer, Lord Henry Mountcharles and Noel Gallagher officially announcing an open air concert at Slane Castle, which Oasis will headline next summer. Picture date: Wednesday, October 15, 2008. They will play for up to 80,000 fans at the Co Meath venue on Saturday June 20. See PA story IRISH Oasis. Photo credit should read: Niall Carson/PA Wire Ref #: PA.6450998  Date: 15/10/2008

(left to right) Oasis guitarist Gem Archer, Lord Henry Mountcharles and Noel Gallagher officially announcing an open air concert at Slane Castle, which Oasis will headline next summer. Picture date: Wednesday, October 15, 2008. 

THERE looks like there’s going to be an invasion of lads in bucket hats with cans of Stella at Glastonbury as the bookies have suspended betting on Oasis headlining Glastonbury after Liam Gallagher tweeted something that appears to suggest a reunion of Oasis.

Gallagher dusted off his favourite typing finger and went on Twitter to individually tweet the letters O-A-S-I-S over the course of a few hours.

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Posted: 25th, April 2014 | In: Music | Comment

1971: The Glastonbury Fayre Where Only The New Pyramid Stage Was Plastic

FLASHBACK to Glastonbury 20–24 June 1971.

Before Glastonbury became a corporate BBC-sponsored event – and how Aunty Beeb kills the cool with her patronage – it was free and fun.

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The Glastonbury Fayre of 1971 was instigated by Andrew Kerr after being found and introduced to Michael Eavis by David Trippas and organised with help from Arabella Churchill, Thomas Crimble,Bill Harkin, Gilberto Gil, Mark Irons, and Jytte Klamer. The 1971 festival featured the first incarnation of the “Pyramid Stage”. Conceived by Bill Harkin the stage was a one-tenth replica of the Great Pyramid of Giza built from scaffolding and metal sheeting and positioned over a blind spring which was found by dowsing.

Performers included David Bowie, Traffic, Fairport Convention, Quintessence, Hawkwind, Skin Alley, The Worthy Farm Windfuckers and Melanie. It was paid for by its supporters and advocates of its ideal, and embraced a mediaeval tradition of music, dance, poetry, theatre, lights and spontaneous entertainment. The 1971 festival was filmed by Nicolas Roeg and David Puttnam and was released as a film called simply Glastonbury Fayre.


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Posted: 8th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Music | Comment

Glastonbury Is Dead But ‘The Best Is Yet To Come’


FOR people who don’t like hippies, festival-goers, indie music, ridiculous gig flags, wankers in bucket hats, posh girls in bindhis, heritage rock bands and wacky BBC presenters, the blanket coverage of the Glastonbury Festival is worse than a million Royal Weddings.

The bad news for Glastohaters is that the event has just had its license renewed for another decade.

And Glastonbury gaffer Emily Eavis – she took it over from her dad, Michael – has promised that ‘the best is yet to come’.

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Posted: 8th, April 2014 | In: Music, Reviews | Comment

Watch The Top 10 Twitter Spikes Of 2013



THE Football Association are very disappointed that numbers of people taking up football are dwindling. It seems less kids want to run around in dreadful weather, getting lumps kicked out of them and paying their subs for the privilege.

In completely unrelated news, football took over Twitter in 2013 and dominated the spikes of activity the site had.

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Posted: 12th, December 2013 | In: Reviews, Sports, Technology | Comment

Christopher Shale’s Damning And Introverted Leaked Memo To Conservative Party In Full

THE mysterious death of Christopher Shale, chairman of West Oxfordshire Conservative Association, at Glastonbury features on just one national newspaper’s front page. Such is the popularity of grooving in a Somerset field among the older generations that we may have to get used to news middle-age men dying in the toilets. But Shale has achieved one notable thing in his death: his introverted ideas for boosting Tory party membership are being broadcast to the masses. Now he’s dead, everyone’s listening to him.

The Guardian’s front page tells readers:

Constituency chairman had No 10 backing for party plan

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Posted: 28th, June 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment

Face Of The Day: Gwyneth Paltrow Snaps At Glastonbury (Photos)

AT the Glastonbury Festival 2011, in the pit before Beyonce Knowles’ stilted feet, Anorak’s Ninja snapper Yui Mok was spotted by Gwyneth Paltrow. She snapped. If she wants to show us the photo, we’re ready…

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Posted: 27th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Beyonce Knowles’ Freddie And The Dreamers Dance At Glastonbury: Photos

WASN’T Beyonce Knowles just terrify. as she sang and danced at Glastonbury, one of Somerset’s sledding music festivals? She was. Anorak loved the bit where she showed us her Fame Wall – you know, those photos of restaurant owners and staff stood by famous people, like snooker legend John Parrot, Jimmy Savile, and in Beyonce’s case, her husband, Jay Z, and Barack Obama. The other highlight was Beyonce doing The Freddie, the move made famous by Freddie & The Dreamers. It’s always good when a top act does a dance any drunken fool can do at the wedding of work’s Christmas do. Thanks Beyonce. For caring. you knocked us bandy – literally…


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Beyonce performing on the Pyramid Stage at the Glastonbury Music Festival held at Worthy Farm, Pilton.

Posted: 27th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (4)

Glastonbury 2011: Christopher Shale’s Death Is More Entertaining Than The Wombles

GLASTONBURY 2011 – Day 3:  Christopher Shale’s death is entertaining the voracious media. The Oxfordshire Tory’s demise – his body was found in a toilet – is the biggest show in town. And it might just save Glastonbury from the shame of featuring The Wombles. Not The Wombles – the anarchists. The actual Wombles, the OCD freaks of Wimbledon Common. Cynics might get the feeling Glasto needed a spot of controversy deeper than Mike Batt’s Wombsemble…


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The Wombles performing on the Avalon Stage, at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Sunday 26 June, 2011. Photo credit should read: Yui Mok/PA Wire

Posted: 26th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (5)

The Mysterious Death Of Christopher Shale: David Cameron’s ‘Rock’ Dead In Glastonbury Toilet

WHO or what killed Christopher Shale, chairman of West Oxfordshire Conservative Association? His body was found in a Glastonbury Festival toilet in the press area at the rear of the Pyramid Stage and the Other Stage. He was 56. David Cameron, MP for Witney in Oxfordshire, says he’s lost “a close and valued friend – a big rock in my life has suddenly been rolled away”.

Who was he?

His family home is six miles from the Camerons’ constituency cottage and a short drive from the homes of Rebekah Brooks, the chief executive of News International, Elizabeth Murdoch, a board director of News Corp, and Steve Hilton, Cameron’s director of strategy in Downing Street.

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Posted: 26th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (10)

The Biggest Legal High At Glastonbury Is Laughing At The Police

AT Glastonbury, the police have booked out a tent. It’s a magic show in which the Old Bill makes your legal drugs disappear. It’s called The Forensic Early Warning System. The idea is simple: you hand the State’s boffins your legal highs, they send them off to the lab located miles away and the results tell you if they contain any toxins or illegals substances. It’s the kind of flawed, kak-handed approach to drugs that guarantees one thing:  even police time gets wasted.

If these illegal drugs are so perilous, why are the kids taking them? No-one died from taking meow-moew but the panic the police, politicians and news media created around mephedrone got it banned. The result was that the kids looking to get bombed bought something else.

If all illegal drugs are made illegal, will the  drugs the kids want get safer? Will the dealer think the risk of arrest is worth a hike if price. Will he seek to make the increased risk pay by cutting the stuff with rat poison or Vim?

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Posted: 25th, June 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

Glastonbury 2011 Photos: The U2 Tea Party, Sarah Palin, Pole Dancers And Welly Henge

GLASTONBURY Day 2: The rain continued to fall, giving everyone watching the show back home some sense of joy and relief that the BBC had dispatched 274 members of staff to cover the event in the kind of forensic detail Sherlock Holmes would applaud. In our great Photos of Day 2, you will sew Bono, Mr G9, singing songs in front of big neon messages of mottos you can fit on a T-shirt and the names of places they like, or remembers in his prayers.

In the crowd, a few members of pro-tax protest group Art Uncut inflated a 20ft balloon emblazoned with the words “U Pay Your Tax 2”. The balloon was removed by security. Taxes have no place at a big corporate music venue. It’s the last taboo. If Europe needs a Tea Party movement to hook up with Sarah Palin’s supporters in the US, U2 are shoo ins for the official protest song.

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Posted: 25th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)

Glastonbury Day 2 2011: Shady Wayne Rooney And Neon Coleen Blend In (Photos)

FACES of The Day: Wayne Rooney and Coleen Rooney have been blending in backstage at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset. Wayne has been blending in with the people who wear sunglasses in the rain. Coleen has been blending in with the vat of Strongbow Cider in the Scrumpy Bus. If she falls in, unless she flashes the whites of her teeth, we might never see her again…

Take care, Coleen. You’re ok… Just a little bit further…

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Posted: 24th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Face Of The Day: The Glastonbury Festival Bible Reader

GLASTONBURY 2011 gives us Our Face of The Day. While you were watching the Master Musicians of Joujouka on the Pyramid Stage, she was reading TheBible..?

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Posted: 24th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Face Of The Day: The Glastonbury Mud Surfers

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Posted: 23rd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Glastonbury: ColdPlay, Beyonce And Donald’s Hot Dogs Have Own Wireless Networks At Glastonbury

AT Glastonbury, ColdPlay, Beyonce, the artists, the press and Donald’s Hot Dogs have their own wireless networks.

News International staffers at the big music festival are advised to always carry their devices that receive 3G signals lest some sneaky type of cove use detection equipment to find the gadgets and nick them. Hey, these villains might even acceess the data on your Blackberry or iPhone and get a story.

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Posted: 23rd, June 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Glastonbury 2011 Photos: U2 – ‘Shite, Arse, Tax Dodgers’

GLASTONBURY 2011 in photos: The graffiti says U2 are “shite, arse , tax dodgers”. We offer this without comment…


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Festival goers make their way through the mud at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset.



Posted: 23rd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (8)