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Posts Tagged ‘god’

Politician sues god for failed promotion

india money sue god


Life imitates Billy Connolly movies in India. If you hire the priest to perform the service then the service must be done. Or else:

An MLA, who belongs to the ruling party in Telangana, paid Rs 50 lakh to two tribal priests to perform a special pooja so that he gets a ministerial berth. However, when the duo failed to give him the promised political fortune, the MLA sent them to police custody.

A Lakh Rupee is one hundred thousand rupees. The politician paid around £60,000 for prayers! You trust this man’s judgement?



Posted: 17th, July 2017 | In: Money, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment

Wiltshire headmistress punished naughty children by phoning God

Wiltshire school god call

No cold callers

To St Joseph’s Roman Catholic Primary School in Devizes, Wiltshire, where God is on the phone.

There is talk of “outrage” that headmistress Sheila Jones “humiliated children” by standing in the school’s prayer room and telling God via her mobile phone that the children had misbehaved.

Some parents have called Ofsted, who have asked Wiltshire Council’s safeguarding team to investigate.

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Posted: 15th, March 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment

Woman Finds ‘God’ Miracle In Her Curls




KRISTIN Kissee, a cancer survivor, saw ‘God’ in hair. Says the Missouri woman who saw the word ‘GOD’ in her forelocks:

“I was feeling overwhelmed having to adjust to life with a newborn and a 3-year-old with autism, along with the anticipation of my latest scan results…so I prayed for strength and peace. I was overcome with feelings of joy and serenity. I cried. God answered my prayers.”

Patheos spots something else:

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Posted: 13th, July 2014 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)

How The Banana Proves God Exists And Is ‘The Atheist’s Nightmare’

HOW do we know God exists? In a word: bananas. They are a sign of God’s love for humanity, and chimpanzees who can peel.


bananas for god


What does an athist think of that?

Christopher Hitchensonce recalled a class with his teacher, Mrs. Jean Watts:

“Seeking ambitiously to fuse her two roles as nature instructor and Bible teacher, she said, ‘So you see, children, how powerful and generous God is. He has made all the tress and the grass to be green, which is exactly the color that is most restful to our eyes. Imagine if instead, the vegetation was all purple or orange, how awful that would be.’

“I was frankly appalled by what she said. My little ankle-strap sandals curled with embarrassment for her. At the age of nine I had not even a conception of the argument from design, or of Darwinian evolution as its rival, or of the relationship between photosynthesis and chlorophyll. The secrets of the genome were as hidden from me as they were, at the time, to everyone else. I had not then visited scenes of nature where almost everything was hideously indifferent or hostile to human life, if not life itself. I simply knew [his emphasis], almost as if I had privileged access to a higher authority, that my teacher had managed to get everything wrong in just two sentences. The eyes were adjusted to nature, and not the other way round.”

Spotter: Reddit, Death & Taxes

Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: Strange But True | Comments (5)

Prophet steals women’s panties and changes into funny creature and a child

prophet grinder

I USED to attend Prophet Grinder’s church and after realising that he was not a true prophet because of his actions, I decided to move to another church. It seems he was not pleased and since that time, my panties started disappearing at home. As if that was not enough, whenever I try to go to another church, I will be seeing the goblins which will be ordering me to return to Prophet Grinder’s church,” says Lynette Ziweya in the Bulawayo Metro.

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Posted: 6th, August 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment

We have a new Jesus and he’s Australian

Alan John Miller

RELIGION isn’t too good at providing answers, but has excellent architecture. Alas, it also attracts a fair few people who are mental, making them a laughing stock.

And so, to Alan John Miller who claims he’s Jesus Christ, and he announced himself to everyone in Britain by getting all holy on ITV ‘s This Morning.

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Posted: 16th, July 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)

Girl Guides are now all Godless maniacs

Lady Baden Powell inspects the guard of honour of Girl Guides at Battersea Park.

IF you were a Brownie, Cub, Scout or Girl Guide, you will know that God and Jesus loomed large in proceedings. Not to mention those horrible badges for sewing and surviving the ordeal of camping with flatulent peers in some windswept hole.

That’s all about to change. There’ll still be crafts and activities, however, God has been asked to leave the Girl Guides as they no longer have to swear allegiance to It. Now, Girl Guides will say: “I promise to be true to myself”, like they’re singing a mid-90s R&B ballad.

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Posted: 24th, June 2013 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Hurricane Sandy is here because of those awful gays

THE weather is not something anyone can control, not that religious people understand. They’re like those people who wear lucky underpants, thinking it has any discernible effect on an upcoming football match (your pants/god has about as much influence as the lifeless mop in your kitchen).

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Posted: 30th, October 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

God advertises on Sky channel Sky Channel 595

GOD advertises on Sky Channel 595:

Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Is God on your side? Check with this handy diagram

RUPERT Myers – “Barrister, writer, & political obsessive” – has produced a handy diagram explaining Thought For the Day on the BBC – and how to check if God is on your side:

Spotter: @RupertMyers

Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Justin Bieber Likes To Talk To God – God To Blame For Dreadful Music

MAYBE it is down to the fact that Justin Bieber is roughly 4 years old that he likes to talk to his imaginary friend. Lots of children have them don’t they? They run around with their little fingers wagging shouting “RED RUM! RED RUM!” in the most adorable way.

And Justin’s little invisible pal is called, charmingly, ‘God’.

He loves his imaginary friend so much that he’s got this whole story about him visiting Earth in the form of a man called ‘Jesus’. It’s adorable really. He’s even got a tattoo of ‘Jesus’ on his leg. Regrettably, the tattoo shows a man who looks like Brian Kilcline who used to play for Coventry City.

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Posted: 9th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Atheist Hair Dryer Blows Away Baptism Water: Video

EDWIN Kagin will “de-baptize” you with a hair dryer wih the label “Reason and Truth” written on the side. No ordinary hair dryer will do. Tongs? No. Irons? No. You need a hair dryer with the correct words written on the side.

Kagin says baptism is “child abuse“. He says the blast of hot air was a way for adults to undo what their parents had done.

But what if you have no electricty? Will a towel do? No, not any towel. You need The Anorak Comfi-Towel. Guaranteed to clean off God or your money back!

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Posted: 18th, July 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)

Believe In God: The Fresh Breath Of God In A Spray

god-breathsprayDO you believe in God? Do you believe in the minty freshness of God?

When dreaming of kissing God or being kissed by God do you believe in a pepper-minty faith-enhancing breath spray?

Even if you do not believe in God, one spray from Believe In God – instantly – breath freshner will turn you.

Buy now.

Breathe often…

Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

Londoners Invited To God’s Debt Cancellation Plan

morris-cerullo-posterMORRIS Cerullo is on a  “Mission to London“.  We British are invited to God’s debt cancellation plan. Just slip $900 inside the envelope and reap – reap! – REAP! – the debt cancellation glory!

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Posted: 28th, May 2009 | In: Money | Comment

C Me Dance: The Jade Goody Film

WHAT follows is a trailer for C Me Dance, a film that with some tweaks could be reused as the Jade Goody Story.

Spotter: Holy Taco

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Call God and Hear What He Thinks Of Obama

CALL God’s Hotline, a work by Dutch artist Johan van der Dong, and leave a message for His Mightiness.

God’s voicemail, reached from the town of Gronigen, says:

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Posted: 7th, March 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Judge Rules That God Has No Fixed Abode

TO NEBRASKA, where news is that it’s still there, for now:

A judge has thrown out a Nebraska state legislator’s lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn’t properly served due to his unlisted home address.

Whose house? God’s house.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God. He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

But no. Got moves in mysterious way, much like the judiciary:

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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (8)

Sarah Palin Comes In A Pack Of Twenty

MAGNETITE writes: “Forgive me if this has been posted before, elsewhere, or in Anoraks main pages. It is early hours and sleep evades me, Brown Ale Nepenthe has made me lackadaisical and this just frightened the hairy Bejesus out of me.

“This is picture 11 out of 20 from the Sarah Palin lookalike contest in the Anchorage Daily News (it’s the one with all of them together, in case new ones are added and the numbers change, or my image cose doesn’t work)

“They all look like Palin would if God got to have another crack at making her.”

Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)

Sarah Palin’s Cold, Dead Lips

SARAH Palin, an Alaska mayor, writes to a California newspaper:

“Dear Editor,” Palin wrote in 2002. “San Francisco judges forbidding our Pledge of Allegiance? They will take the phrase ‘under God’ away from me when my cold, dead lips can no longer utter those words.”

It’s hard not to like Sarah Palin


Posted: 27th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (9)