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Gordon Brown Pledges To Support Young Families By Abusing Their Old Relatives

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Gordon Brown Pledges To Support Young Families By Abusing Their Old Relatives

GORDON Brown’s handlers were last night urging him to cut winter fuel payments, slash pensions and rid the country of old bigots. Cameras will say at a meeting today that he has listened to voters and decided that they want the elderly dead or at the very least abused and a made to feel worthless. He is expected to say:

“The Tories will take away your eyes and give cancer to your little pet dogs and fish. They will put razor blades on the edges of your bus passes. They will make you speak Urdu, and if you already speak Urdu, they will make you speak Gypsy Polish, like your doctor.

“We, however, have listened to your concerns and will pledge to knock on every door at Christmas and remind your elderly relatives that they are lucky to be alive and one more word, one more complaint or attempt to turn on the telly and stop little Armani from playing her Great British Playstation will be met by a kick in the shins and a lethal injection from a black man in a hood.”

Gordon Brown strand for fairness…

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File photo dated 28/04/10 of Prime Minister Gordon Brown speaking to local resident Gillian Duffy (left) in Rochdale as one of the Prime Minister's advisors Sue Nye (centre) looks on, Mr Brown was later caught on microphone describing Mrs Duffy as a "bigoted woman".

Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (11)