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Gordon Brown

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In Pictures: The Leaders’ Debate And Other Party Games

WELL done again to Fulham’s Roy Hodgson for winning the leaders’ debate by a country mile. Nick Clegg hopped about and said nothing much in an a friendly way (albeit with ugly Dutch tie); Gordon Brown managed not to call anyone a bigot for disagreeing with him; and David Cameron actually – and this is incredible – seemed like he might win the vote. As for the pictures – well, you out your left foot in…

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Posted: 30th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Is Gordon Brown A Mouthpiece For The BNP?

SEE if you can spot the bigot in our litle game. Gordon says Gillian Duffy is “bigoted”. and – yes – this is the same Gordon Brown who pledged – “BRITISH JOBS FOR BRITISH WORKERS.” It’s a BNP mantra…

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NOTE ALTERNATE CROP. Gillian Duffy leaves her home in Rochdale this morning, the day after Prime Minister Gordon Brown apologised for calling her a "bigot".

Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (6)


Join the final Leadership Debate on BBC1 with Anorak and Gabbit, win £50 Amazon vouchers

It’s the third and final leadership debate and things are really hotting up. Who will be the next PM? Will Nick Clegg retain his golden boy status? Will David Cameron charm his way into Number 10. Or will the old bruiser Gordon Brown cling on to power? Everything is still to play for and with the BBC’s David Dimbleby helming the final debate on the economy it looks like a seriously heavyweight and fascinating contest. One which you too can have your say in by logging in to Gabbit.com (it will only take a few seconds).

Do you think Brown is the right man to lead us out of hard times or do you think it’s time for a change? Just log on to Gabbit.com to have your say along with other viewers. The Prime Ministerial Debate is live on BBC1, Thursday April 29, 8.30pm. www.gabbit.com

We’ll be giving away £50 of Amazon vouchers to the person who comes up with the smartest comments.

Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment


Gordon Brown Pledges To Support Young Families By Abusing Their Old Relatives

GORDON Brown’s handlers were last night urging him to cut winter fuel payments, slash pensions and rid the country of old bigots. Cameras will say at a meeting today that he has listened to voters and decided that they want the elderly dead or at the very least abused and a made to feel worthless. He is expected to say:

“The Tories will take away your eyes and give cancer to your little pet dogs and fish. They will put razor blades on the edges of your bus passes. They will make you speak Urdu, and if you already speak Urdu, they will make you speak Gypsy Polish, like your doctor.

“We, however, have listened to your concerns and will pledge to knock on every door at Christmas and remind your elderly relatives that they are lucky to be alive and one more word, one more complaint or attempt to turn on the telly and stop little Armani from playing her Great British Playstation will be met by a kick in the shins and a lethal injection from a black man in a hood.”

Gordon Brown strand for fairness…

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NOTE ALTERNATE CROP. Gillian Duffy leaves her home in Rochdale this morning, the day after Prime Minister Gordon Brown apologised for calling her a "bigot".

Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (11)


Wanted For National Newspaper Feature: Hairy Backed Gordon Brown Look Alike

GORDON Brown has a hairy back? Well, his look alike does.

A national newspaper has placed a call out for a Gordon Brown look alikes with a hairy back for nude scenes.

Anorak’s money is on it being the Daily Mail

Click image to make it even bigger…

Posted: 28th, April 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment


Listen To Gordon Brown Calling Gillian Duffy Voter A Bigot

GORDON Brown has been caught on micrphone responding to a voter’s question on immigration by calling her a bigot. Brown says meeting the woman in Rochdale was a “disaster”. Gillian Duffy, the woman Brown was talking to before his mutterings has yet to respond. And  – yes – she is lifelong Labour voter…

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She has now responded. She says says she is an ordinary woman.

NoTW:

Mrs Duffy, a widow from Rochdale, said: “I haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet but if that’s what he said I’m very upset.

“I’m very annoyed. He’s an educated person and he should not be calling an ordinary person who just asked him a question names.”

She said: “I liked Blair but not him” and said she doubted she would now be voting Labour. She added: “When he was Chancellor he did some very good things for the country but now it’s just all gone to pot.”

More to follow…

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Prime Minister Gordon Brown speaks to local resident Gillian Duffy in Rochdale. Prime Minister Gordon Brown was caught on microphone today describing a voter he had just spoken to in Rochdale as a "bigoted woman".

Posted: 28th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (12)


Pride Watch: Gordon Brown Is Proud Of Your Brother And Cameron’s Girls

THE elecion in pictures: Buried in the Sun’s nonsense story “JEERS IN STREETS FOR PM” – a blinkered insight into Gordon Brown’s walkabout in Glasgow – are the words of an “emotional bystander” whose brother is fighting in Afghanistan.

The Sun does not say which side the man’s brother is fighting for but we assume, like the paper, that it is ours. The PM hears the words and responds:

“Tell him thanks for everything he’s doing. We’re very proud of him.”

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Posted: 28th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


Gordon Brown Wants To Be Serious: Now For Elvis

GORDON Brown wants to focus on the real issues. Every Labour nodding head pops up on the telly to say Gordon Brown is about “substance“. We don’t know what the substance is but it might well be sausage stuffing and bits of herring. Says Gordon:

The focus on style is one thing but in the end people go for substance.

And now for Elvis…

Posted: 25th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Gordon Brown’s Perfectly Punctuated Smear

GORDON Brown has the big print notes – “OH BOY, THE IRANIANS ARE GOING TO LOVE YOU. UNDERLINE, UNDERLINE, UNDERLINE.” Oh, boy! So very 1950s.

As Chicken Yoghurt says:

I particularly like the way they took the time to include the OH and the BOY. And the comma – it’s a perfectly punctuated smear. Brown’s unspontaneous spontaneity is so wonderfully crafted.

Click the iamge to see the fun.

As for the Iranians loving Nick Clegg – well, they most likely do after the Jenny Tonge dither

Posted: 24th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


Leaders’ Debate Pictures: Gordon Brown Fist Bumps For £250

THE heated debate was great fun. Nick Clegg – aka Dutchman Nick Clogg – said that for £20 (made payable to N. Clegg Inc.) he’d build you a nuclear deterrent fron a old washing up bottle, some foil and a ‘whooshing’ sound; Gordon Brown promised not to smile; and David Cameron put his hair in a bun. Meanwhile, in Bristol, left-wing protestors fought with the English Defence League. They were all rounded up and sent to Iraq…

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Prime Minister Gordon Brown and wife Sarah talk with students at Brunel Academy in Bristol, while on the General Election campaign trail.

Posted: 22nd, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


Exclusive – UN appoints George W Bush as UK Election Observer

After allegations of cash for questions, expenses fiddling and a history of postal voting irregularities, the UN has appointed former President George W Bush as Election Observer for the 2010 UK General Election.

Posted: 21st, April 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment


Creepy Pictures Of Pope Benedict XVI

POPE Eggs Benedict XVI suffers from Gordon Brown’s problem: it’s his face. Just as heavy-set Gordon Brown is cursed to follow Tony Blair’s boyish glee, the current Pontiff must follow Pope John Paul II, man who looked like the kindly neighbour you never had. Sex abuse in the Church went on under John Paul II’s watch but he never had a past in the Hitler Youth and dark rings about his eyes. Here’s a collection of image of the Pope that do him no favours:

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Posted: 16th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (26)


A Picture Gallery Of Weird Prime Ministers

NICK Clegg, Gordon Brown and David Cameron – three not-too-bad looking, neat-faced, full-haired, clean-skinned, charm-free, polish-toothed, pink-skinned, suited and booted salesmen. What we want are the real men. Where are they? On the back benches and in the streets. Anorak has been out canvassing for leaders that we can relate to and warm to. Where is the one who says “I am the authentic face of the Britain”? Here’s is a selection of candidates:

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Posted: 16th, April 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Debate Round-Up: Gordon Brown’s Pink Tie, Nick Clegg’s Susan Boyle And David Cameron’s Rushmore

DID you see the debate between Nick Clegg, David Cameron and Gordon Brown? Alan Johnson calls it an “acoustic session”. He’s right – the same old songs to a flatter tune. Did you watch it all? Or did you just watch The Good Wife and wait for the pundits and the myriad polls to tell you what went on?

Here’s a round-up of views:

Trevor Kavanagh (Sun): “Mr Brown grinned painfully… Nick Clegg slyly fuelled the rift between the Big Boys. But it was David Cameron who had the audience nodding in agreement”

Daily Mirror: “Brown crushes naive Cameron…”Gordon Brown, in pink ti and blue shirt was statesmanlike…”

The Weirdest And Best General Election Pictures

Bob Roberts (Mirror): “David Cameron was left floundering last night as Gordon Brown repeatedly outsmarted him…”

Tony Parsons (Mirror): “It felt massive. Princess Diana on her wedding day, England in a World cup semi-final…bigger…”

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Posted: 16th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (5)


Brown, Cameron And Clegg Form A Heated Triangle

THE leaders of the three big parties – Nick Clegg, David Cameron and Gordon Brown – go into the televised debate. The papers trail the event chaired by the unintentionally hilaious Alastair Stewart of Police, Camera, Action fame. Watch out for his frown getting lower as the night wears on and his voice growing more bombastic. The newspapers trail the event on their front pages:

The Indepedent says it’s 90 minutes that “COULD CHANGE BRITIAN”. Of course this is 90 minutes on ITV, so Britain could be changed by adverts for Sky TV and pet insurance.

“Take me to your lectern,” puns the Guardian, which for some reason leads also with a picture of Cherie Blair, presumably to remind readers that whoever wins, at least its not her.

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Posted: 15th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


The Election In Pictures: Ed Balls Hots Pants’ Lobotomy

THE Election in pictures: April 12, 2010, and Gordon Brown pops on a hard hat; The Conservatives get a lobotomy in Ormskirk, Merseyside; David Cameron is a Chubby chaser; Nick Clegg puckers up; and Vince Cable, the most over-hyped man in the world right now, develops a halo; and Ed Balls hosts off his hot pants…

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Grafitti which has been spray painted onto a Conservative Party poster on a roadside billboard in Ormskirk, Merseyside.

Posted: 12th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


The General Election In Pictures: Gordon Brown’s Cafe Zoo

THE General Election In Pictures presents Gordon Brown in the cafe zoo. Also ,look out for Cameron going bananas and Nick Clegg hitting the wall…

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Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling (right) and Shadow Chancellor George Osborne are interview by the BBC on College Green outside the Houses of Parliament in London.

Posted: 10th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Ricky Gervais Beats David Cameron In Christian O’Connell Radio Vote

RICKY Gervais and Christian O’Connell present Simon Cowell, from Wildlife Aid, with a cheque after Ricky won the most votes on the ‘Who’s calling Christian?’ slot on Absolute radio. Says Ricky Gervais: “Beating David Cameron [who came second in the poll of 60 celebs and names] was the important thing. If he can’t beat me, how’s he going to beat Gordon Brown? I’m made up that I’ve won, now I don’t have to enter Britain’s Got Talent or I’m a Celebrity.” Nto that Gordon Brown entered the race, he rather expected to win by default, as democracy dictates…

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Ricky Gervais and Christian O'Connell present Simon Cowell, from Wildlife Aid, with a cheque after Ricky won the most votes on the 'Who's calling Christian?' slot on Absolute radio.

Posted: 8th, April 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The General Election In Pictures: Gordon Brown’s Innocent Fruit

ANOTHER day in the General Election race. And a chance to see Anorak’s Daily pictures round-up. David Cameron does working class loaves at Warburton; Gordon Brown does middle class fruit at Innocent; and Nick Glegg holds his nose in Liverpool. And who’s that on the blower?

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Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his wife Sarah speak to a members of the public during a phonebank session at the Labour Party headquarters in central London.

The General Election In Pictures: Ed Balls Tucks In

Posted: 8th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Media Says Mephedron ‘Killed’ Wesley Sharples As Gordon Brown Ignores Ban

MEOW MEOW has not been banned. The papers were wrong. The drugs, also know as mephedrone has not been banned because Parliament has broken up for the election that Gordon Brown called.

If your son or daughter dies from meow meow, then you know who to blame. Blame Gordon Brown. You’ll find him on your doorstep looking tough, and later on the back benches in Westminster.

Says Gordon Brown:

“They have been misled into believing they were taking a drug which did not have lethal qualities.”

Misled by whom? Meow meow is legal. Gordon Brown could have helped to make it illegal had he only waited a short while longer to put his premiership to the vote. But Gordon and the wonks say it is legal. So legal it is.

But the drug is deadly, say the media and Gordon, despite there being no firm evidence that it is.

The Scotsman hears of 23-year-old Wesley Sharples who “was found with gunshot wounds at his flat in Bolton, Greater Manchester”.

Says the paper:

Police were unable to confirm reports that he may have taken the dance drug mephedrone, known as Meow Meow, after inviting friends to his home on the day he died.

Such are the facts. So, let us not turn the traffic death of a young man into a scare story.

Or as the Daily Mail screams:

Partygoer, 23, blasts himself in head with a shotgun ‘after taking meow meow drug’

But we don’t know that he took that drug, or any drug.

A police spokesman says:

“We have sent blood samples off to toxicology and until we get that back we cannot guess or speculate what he may or may not have taken. These may take several weeks to come back.”

Still, meow meow is a killer, right?. But not in Reading, Berkshire. Not any more since local firm Meph Direct shut up shop.

It told shoppers:

“We regret to announce that prices have risen nationwide due to the manufacturers hiking up their prices and the product becoming increasingly scarce. Please be cautious of other sellers that have not increased their prices as you will find that they are mixing their product with unscrupulous substances.”

Good news, then! Killer drug cut with worming food and Vim. A source at the firm tells the local paper:

“But the media has killed mephedrone. They’ve got their ban and we’re finished.

Anyhow, back to Mr Wesley Sharples, in the Sun:

Last night a Greater Manchester Police source said: “There have been reports from his friends that he may have taken meow meow.”

And:

One neighbour said: “No one knows why it’s happened. He was nice and very polite.”

Still, if Mr Sharples can be used to help the Sun in its campaign – and it is only campaigns that stop newspapers from being all the same – at least he did not die in vain…

Meow Meow: Mephedrone Is This Week’s Scare Story

Mephedrone: Dr Polly Taylor’s Letter To Home Secretary Alan Johnson

Meow Meow: How To Buy The ‘Killer’ Drug In Bulk And Crank Up The Fear

Meow Meow The Panda Bear Goes Nuts

How To Buy Meow Meow From A Labour MP’s Son

Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Mark McGowan 10,000 Prostrates Before David Cameron

MARK McGowan plans to prostrate himself 10,000 times in front of a “large photographic image of Conservative leader David Cameron on (election day) May 6th, 2010, opposite number 10 Downing Street.” (Miodrag Gidra Stojanovic is watching.)

He explains:

“The prostrations can be seen as a sign of reverence to a noble man, David Cameron, the man who can lead this country out of the problems we are in. It should take me about two-and-a-half days to complete, I will start at 10am on Thursday 6th May and finish on Saturday 8th May, by which time this country will see a new leader. Gordon Brown, the Labour party and champagne socialism is over.”

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Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)


In Pictures: David Cameron’s Horrific Near Fatal Bike Crash

THE election is just like the boat race – two teams of privileged elitists moving along a course with the current pushing them along to what the teams hope to be a victory and what everyone else hopes to be a sinking. No boat sank in the boat race this year. But maybe next year. Fingers crossed.

(Gallery at end of story)

We watch the election on the telly in the hope that someone does or says something terrible and sinks, and maybe even drowns. The live debates offer more chance of this. And if Cameron can say he likes sex with ducks, or Gordon Brown can pledge to invade France, the election might spark into life and get us duck fanciers a cause we can get our teeth into.

On the telly, David Cameron is spotted leaving his home on his push bike. He’s not wearing a helmet. Lots of photographers and TV crews get in his path. “Go on, Dave,” they beg. “Fall off. Do a wheelie and fall off. showboat. Fall off. Bang your head. Die. Ok, not die. But come close to dying. Be on life support for a few days. Give us something to talk about and our readers something to feel.”

No luck, though. Dave cycles on. Still, maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, look what could have happened…

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Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: Key Posts | Comment


Sarah Brown Turns Us On In Satin Dress And Sensible Mid-Heels

SO at pains is Gordon Brown to say this election is not about personalities, that Sarah Brown is addressing Hello! readers. Says Sarah:

“I’ve been grinning all day and my face is hurting.”

Sarah’s been with South African premier Jacob Zuma’s wife No. (inserts digit here) Thobeka Madiba Zuma. She’s then off to a charity nosh up for the White Ribbon Alliance at the Agua Spa in London’s Sanderson Hotel.

It’s the treatment the campaign against infant mortality demands. All this in a “slate-grey satin dress and sensible mid-heels”. Sarah is a marvel.

And Sarah Brown works in PR. She’s on her biggest challenge yet: to make Gordon Brown appear human, electable and above all else shaggable.

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Posted: 6th, April 2010 | In: Hello! | Comments (3)


Gordon Brown’s Benneton Walk At St Pancras Station

ON the BBC images of Gordon Brown walking along the Euston Road on his way to King’s Cross St Pancras Station. Everyone wants to shake Gordon’s hand. Everyone he meets.

A baby is in a pram. Gordon smiles and waves. The baby is delighted. The woman with the baby is delighted. The men and women all lined up in the spick and span station are delighted. The BBC says some of these smiling faces MAY be party workers.

A smartly dressed young black woman is walking next to Brown. To his side is a smartly dressed young black man.

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Posted: 6th, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


Gordon Brown’s Famous Five Again and Again

THE media is full of Gordon Brown’s five key pledges. Five is Gordon’s magic number. You might recall his five economic tests for the country joining the Economic and Monetary Union of the European Union (EMU). And there’s his plan to win five more years in power. Five is a number big enough to sound thoughtful but not too big that it looks showy.

The five pledges are that Labour will:

1. Have an ethical foreign policy (1997)
2. Reform the voting system (1997)
3. No return to boom and bust (2001)
4. Your country’s borders protected (2005)
5. “We have made it our guiding rule not to promise what we cannot deliver; and to deliver what we promise” (1997)

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Posted: 28th, March 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment