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Gordon Brown

Posts Tagged ‘Gordon Brown’

Baby P: Too Late For Ed Balls But Gordon Brown Can Still Save Him

HAVING made a land grab for his ashes, can the Sun take credit for the imminent dismissal of those Haringey social workers who failed Baby P?

Of course it can. And it’s a safe bet that Gordon Brown will not miss the opportunity to thank the Sun for its vigilante campaign, and thank those voters, sorry readers who signed the petition online and in the paper.

As Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel puts it:

“You never want a serious crisis to go to waste…”

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Posted: 27th, November 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comment


Gordon Brown Is Terry Jones

Really

Posted: 26th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Pre-Budget Report: Darling Brings Us In From The Arctic Monkeys

CAN Britons civil servants and public sector workers buy enough HD-ready televisions to bring the country back from the gaping maw of depression?

Gordon Brown says yes, adding:  

“With any luck a pre-budget report will provide more work for the key public sector demographic. If it works, we’ll be looking to introduce a pre-pre budget report and push on from there to a concerted pre-pre-pre budget report and, paper willing, a pre-pre-pre-pre budget report.” 

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Posted: 25th, November 2008 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (7)


Gordon Brown Reacts As Sarah Palin Boost Turkey Sales

SARAH Palin gets to see Turkey from her house, and the press gobbles it up.

The LA Times wonders if the birds can be killed after they’ve died. And Americans choke on their murder burgers and go mad for vegetarianism:

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Posted: 23rd, November 2008 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment (1)


Bush And Brown To Invest In Piracy, The World’s Growth Industry

PIRACY is booming. It’s the world’s growth industry.

Over the newswires, Anorak learns that a Hong Kong cargo ship has been attacked by pirates in the Gulf of Aden near the Yemen coast.

The good ship Delight is loaded with 36,000 tonnes of wheat.

Says one UN insider:

“They’ve got oil for heating and fuel, and now they’ve got wheat. If they can hijack a boat carrying the G20 leaders, they will have democracy.”

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Posted: 19th, November 2008 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (7)


Brown And Cameron Woo The Gay Vote

THE ConservativeHome image surmises British politics – Cameron or Brown?

File under – it’s in pink and mauve!

The battle ground is over the gay vote…

Via mauvist Dale

Posted: 18th, November 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment


Gordon Brown’s Word For The Day: Deflation

HEY, tax doesn’t have to be taxing.

Just ask Gordon Brown. It’s easy. You just say, “Make it so” and you can raise more taxes than a priapic Caesar.

Gordon Brown is talking about deflation. Every week Gordon introduces a new word into the British lexicon. This week’s word is deflation.

Woz-zat-meen-den?

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Posted: 18th, November 2008 | In: Money | Comments (2)


Baby P: Socialist Liberal Conservatives To Blame And Sterilising The Guilty

BABY P Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Baby P in the news

THE SUN (front page): “SOCIAL WORKERS NEW SHAME”

When a tortured and murdered baby isn’t shaming enough…

“BABY P GRAN: I WARNED HARINGEY”

Says she: “They didn’t want to know.”

The last photo of blond, blue-eyed Baby P — taken days before he was found dead in his blood-spattered cot

Blonde…

On page 5, the Sun produces a petition. It’s already been written: “All blonde children with blue-eyes should be saved first and…” Or:

“I believe that ALL the social workers involved in the case of baby P, including Sharon Shoesmith, Maria Ward, Sylvia Henry and Gillie Christou should be sacked and never allowed to work with vulnerable children again”.

Meanwhile, Baby P’s mother is free to have more children, and so too his step-dad and lodger Jason Owen. Discuss…

“…I also demand that the doctor involved with Baby P, Sabah Al Zayyat, should lose her job and not be allowed to treat the public again.”

Says the grandmother: “I blame myself.” Can she be banned from being a grandma?

But one local has produced her own petition. Stephanie Biber has plastered a poster to the windows of the Hornsey and Wood Green Labour Party headquarters. The legend runs:

“Sharon Shoesmith you have blood on your hands. Council tax payers of Haringey refuse to pay council tax until Sharon Shoesmith is sacked.”

Says Ed Balls, the swivel-eyed Education Secretary:

“People are asking how these despicable acts of evil can happen in this day and age and in Haringey of all places.”

Yeah, the bucolic splendour of one of the most impoverished, dirty, depressing places in the entire country. If there, then anywhere…

TREVOR KAVANAGH: “Leftie Mafia close ranks over Baby P”

P is for Politics…

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Posted: 17th, November 2008 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (10)


G20 Leaders Get Loaded For Poverty

HATS off to Gordon Brown who is half way to fulfilling his pledge to end boom and bust.

Boom is well and truly over. And once we are all poor, bust will only be a historical relative, an arcane term of yesteryear.

So to the White House, where Gordon is at table to discuss matters of great import: when George Bush goes, will he be the most unpopular leader in the world?

The talk turns to the economic crisis,. With dinner keeping their tongue sharp and loose with beverages that cost almost $500 a bottle.

The G-20 summit kicks off with “Fruitwood-smoked Quail,” “Thyme-roasted Rack of Lamb,” and “Tomato, Fennel and Eggplant Fondue Chanterelle Jus.”

All washed down the gizzard with doses of Shafer Cabernet “Hillside Select” 2003, a wine that sells at $499 on Wine.com.

Posted: 16th, November 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment


Shannon Matthews: No Noose Is Good Noose

SHANNON MATTHEWS: The trial of Karen Matthews and Paul Donovan…

THE SUN (front page): “SHANNON DRUGGED AND KEPT ON LEASH”

There is a stench of sexual perversion in the Sun’s headline. But sex was not the alleged motive in the “kidnap” of Shannon Matthews, money was.

It is alleged that mum Karen and “loner” Donovan wanted the £50,000 reward, in part out up by the Sun.

QC Julian Goose, prosecuting, says “that while Shannon was physically unharmed, Donovan had kept ‘ruled control’ over her when he left the flat to go shopping.”

The rules were:

You must not make any noise or bang your feet
You must not go near the windows
You must not get anything or do anything without me
Keep the TV volume low, only up to eight or less
You can play Super Mario and you can play some DVDS and some CDs

Those who read the Sun may wonder if Shannon was cared for while she was away from her dear old mum and Craig Meehan?

Reader may wonder if the Sun is not a little disappointed that the case does not feature sexual depravity. And what with Shannon in her kinky school uniform, and all…

DAILY MAIL (front page): “’WICKED’”

“STOP IT YOU’RE FRIGHTENING ME”

No, not the words of a million Mail readers, rather those said to have been uttered by Shannon Matthews

Donovan says he was threatened by Karen Matthews. Karen Matthews says she was threatened by Craig Meehan, Donovan’s nephew. Daily Mail readers say they feel threatened by just about everything and wonder if either party was wearing a hood…

DAILY EXPRESS (front page): “SHANNON DRUGGED AND KEPT IN NOOSE”

Donovan tells police:

“She asked me to take care of Shannon. She told me there would be money in it for me.”

Well 24 days at £3.50 an hour babysitting adds up…

“She said I was to keep Shannon and look after her and she would report her missing. I was to keep her at my place. I wasn’t happy about that and she threatened to get three lads on to me. I knew one of the lads had stabbed someone and killed him. I was frightened so I said I would do it. She said if I told anyone I would be dead.”

DAILY MIRROR (front page): “SHANNON’S TORMENT”

“Excited Shannon Matthews jumped into her step-uncle’s car looking forward to a visit to a fair but it was the start of a 24-day ordeal…”

The Mirror paints the scene of a case that though genuinely shocking it considers to be lacking in emotion. Donovan’s state of mind at the time is not given, but we imagine that he was pretty excited, too…

In the flat:

“A white elastic noose found hanging from a roof beam was long enough so she cold get to the toilet but not the front door.”

Shannon was kept restrained while Donovan went to buy lottery tickets, just in case the alleged plot did not work out and he needed some money to facilitate an escape…

DAILY STAR (front page): “’SHANNON DRUGGED & HELD IN NOOSE BY MUM’”

The noose suggests torture. Was it worn about the neck? Duuno. We’re not told. But the noose soon becomes a “leash”, by which, it is alleged, Donovan kept Shannon from wandering away while he popped out.

Shannon was also said to have been fed Temazepam.

The case continues, although given the reporting, it seems all decisions have been reached…

Posted: 13th, November 2008 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)


Obama Watch: Wenger’s Wonder, Michelle’s Liz Hurley, John Major And Blacks Before Women

BARACK Obama Watch: Wenger’s Wonder, Michelle’s Liz Hurley And John Major…

ARSENE WENGER, manger of Arsenal football club on why he is sticking with his policy of picking youth over experience:

“You have Barack Obama in the States, that if one of the countries where if you have the quality, you will make it.”

Surely Obama is too old for Arsenal? Although Osama bin Laden is a fan of the Gunners, and finding him will help the tyro keep his promise…

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Posted: 11th, November 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (7)


Jonathan Ross Telethon: BBC Talent Donates Salary To Good Causes

NEWS that Jonathan Ross is to forgo £1.5milion pay is good news for Spanish waiters, and great news for the economy as a whole.

Ross, a BBC employee and civil servant, realised the state of the Government coffers and offered to self-tax.

Ross knew that Gordon Brown would not fail to be turned on by his celebrity debate. Brown duly calls for Ross’s head. Ross has to go. And Melton Mowbray gets a new community centre.

Bravo for Jonathan Ross, who is rightly lauded on every one of the nation’s front pages.

More like him, says Anorak.

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Posted: 31st, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (14)


Working To Pay Back Gordon Brown

SUSIE Squire, of the Taxpayers’ Alliance, has a question for Gordon Brown:

Thanks for the money, Gordon. How can we ever pay you back..?

Via

Posted: 31st, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)


The Madeleine McCann Location Device And Finding Brand And Ross

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

HALIFAX EVENING COURIER: “Child-tracking device gives parents holiday peace of mind”

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

AN enterprising duo are to rent out child tracking devices and satellite navigation systems to holidaymakers at an airport. Friends David Molloy and Tony Waite, both born and raised in Halifax, have set up Stressless Journeys Ltd.

Stress free… Where do we sign for our bottle of Calpol/gin/valium?

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Posted: 31st, October 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (81)


Vote Obama. Vote Black. Vote White. Vote Brown.

KEVIN Maguire is claiming in the Mirror that – get this – a vote for Barack Obama is really a vote for Gordon Brown.

The Tory spin machine will claim white is black if, fingers crossed, Obama is elected US President next Tuesday.

What’s black and white and red all over? Gordon’s Brown economy…

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Posted: 29th, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment


Britain Funds Icelandic Terrorism

ICELANDERS are not terrorists.

Are they freedom fighters? Is so, Gordon Brown might see fit to give them some money.

Says the enemy:

Gordon Brown unjustifiably used the anti-terrorism act against the people of Iceland, for his own short-term political gain. This has turned a grave situation into a national disaster, affecting families in both Iceland and the United Kingdom. Help us avert greater damage by signing this petition now.

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Posted: 24th, October 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)


Gordon Brown Hired Mandelson To Sack Him

SO this is why Brown hired Mandelson:

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Posted: 24th, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)


Gordon Brown Tells The Jokes

Gordon Brown was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”.

So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a ‘tragedy'”.

“No,” said Brown, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raised her hand: “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a Tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explained the Prime Minister, “that’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Gordon searched the room.

“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of Tragedy?”

Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand…In a quiet voice he said: “If the Air plane carrying you and Mrs Brown was struck by a “friendly fire” missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaimed Gordon Brown. “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy “it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either!”

LP

Posted: 23rd, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


Gordon Brown Is Not A Celebrity, But He Knows Winehouse Is

GORDON Brown is not a celebrity. No, really. But Gordon Brown knows all about celebrity. He knows Nelson Mandela, who doesn’t know Amy Winehouse.

Winehouse is the only celebrity who Mandela has not already met or is not waiting outside his office in a queue of celebs that stretches for some miles.

Says Gordon in the Sun of Nelson’s 90th birthday concert:

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Posted: 23rd, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)


Brown And Darling On How Sharing Is Fun



And…

Posted: 22nd, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


David Cameron Employs Tony Blair To Save His British Business

DAY 2 of the Daily Mail’s campaign to help small firms, and the drive is already bearing dividends.

What are the odds that the campaign that coincided with the Government and Opposition’s drive to help small business would be such an instant hit?

If only the politicos listened.

“First day of the Mail campaign brings action from the Government and key pledges from the Tories.”

Hurrah!

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Posted: 21st, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Cameron’s VAT Holiday

A VAT holiday for small business-  yes please…

Only Brown wants to put small business tax up… Nooooooo

More

Posted: 19th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (10)


How The FTSE Is Backing Brown

HOW many shares opened up on the FTSE this morning?

Spotter and here

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (7)


Gordon Brown Finds The Family Pop Shaft

GORDON Brown is not into the cult of celebrity. He is on GMTV because GMTV needs him.

Gordon Brown will not parade his children before the media, especially when Ben 10 is on the telly and Gordon is called upon to hum the theme tune. His children are not props. His wife is more an autocue than a prop.

Gordon Brown is with Allison Pearson, of the Daily Mail, because he needs to be. He wants to be tough on Pearson and the causes on Pearsons:

The PM has been meeting people all day. But when we walk into the living room of the flat ‘above the shop’, there is someone else waiting patiently for his help – a small boy wearing a pair of cartoon pyjamas. ‘The wheel’s come off,’ says John Brown, five next week, handing over a Transformers car. ‘Fix it, Dad.’

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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Why Gordon Brown’s Rescue Package Is Not Going To Work

GORDON Brown has got it wrong and the banking system remains inherently f*cked:

Despite all the gushing in the media, the drooling about “saviour” Brown (or not, depending on what you read), this “rescue” package is not going to work. It is addressing the symptoms of the problem, not the disease itself.

What to do?

This is very much like old-fashioned doctoring, before the days of antibiotics, when you tried to cool the fevered patient, in the hope that it would break, and the natural healing process would take over. Sometimes it did work, but most often the patient died.

We’re doomed!

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Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (11)