Posts Tagged ‘Gordon Brown’
Bon Jovi Bails Out British Economy: Gordon Brown’s Prayer
WHY oh why oh why oh why didn’t Gordon Brown just wait a few more days to annonce his bank rescue plan?
Had only Gordon realised that US pop group Bon Jovi had ripped off his seminal 1970s hit Slippery When Wet – Best Wear Boots And Braces & Take Out Private Medical Insurance, he could have sued them for the £400billion needed.
Now we learn that Samuel Bartley Steele, a US musician is suing Bon Jovi for $400 billion in a plagiarism suit.
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Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (22)
Brown Declares Jihad On Bankers
“BLOODBATH OF THE BANKERS,” screams the Mirror’s front-page screamer.
Gordon Brown is “determined heads must roll”.
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Posted: 13th, October 2008 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comments (20)
Gordon Brown Is Enjoying Our Pain
GORDON Brown is at pains to say how the banking crisis is a US import. Do you believe him? Nick Robinson is in the locale of the great leader:
When someone’s mobile phone interrupts his speech he joked “I don’t know if another bank has fallen…”, to guffaws of laughter before adding “you’ll be pleased I’ll not be giving financial information this evening”.
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Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (15)
Armageddon On Hold As Blue Collars Take Over
ARMAGEDDON is on hold.
The four horsemen of the apocalypse (Short Sellers; Bradford, Bingley, Daryl Lehman) are staved off with the promise of cash. It’s a bribe, and – who knew? – but the forces of man’s destruction are open to cash offers.
Still, the Times asks its readers: “Is this the safest place to put your money?” There picture is of a man pushing a large box cardboard out of book shop. The box is on trolley. The man is in shirt and Comfi-Slax.
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Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comments (5)
This Is Not The American Plan
“WE have led the world today with a proposal to restructure our banking system. We are taking the steps that I believe other countries will take in the future.”
Thus Spake Zarathustra, sorry, Gordon Brown, announcing the Elderly Grandparent of All Bailouts
“This is not the American plan.”
And yet another nail slides into the coffin of the US as the world’s only financial super power…
– Chenier
Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)
Gordon Brown’s Solid Gold Joke
MORE news on serious Gordon Brown.
Gordon’ at Lancaster House. It’s a drinks reception, with nibbles, to congratulate and paw over Britain’s Olympic gold medal winners. Says Gordon:
“There is more gold in this room than in the Bank of England.”
Ho-ho. No, he’s right. It’s not funny. Brown only does serious. There is more gold around an Olympian’s neck than in the BoE. Why? Because Gordon Brown sold the nation’s gold reserves.
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Posted: 7th, October 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comment (1)
Meet The Deputy Leader Of The House Of Commons
CHRIS Bryant is Deputy Leader of the Commons – this is his photo he sent into gay dating website.
Gordon Brown – Is she serious?
Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (13)
Mandelson’s Return Is Politics For The Institutionalised
PETER Mandelson is returned to Government. What hold does he have over Gordon Brown? Why back again?
It’s not enough unlike the Italians, who seem to play political musical chairs, the names only changing when someone dies or gets jailed.
Indeed, the political system seems to cater for those who have been away, either in jail or hospital, and might have missed the news.
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Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (19)
David Cameron’s Flawed Debt Story
DAVID Cameron has been quiet on the banking crisis. Want to know why? It’s because he and his party have nothing meaningful to add:
Cameron is then directly quoted, saying: “I think that we have had a failure of regulation and we have had a debt boom that went on for far too long and it reached into parts of the economy it shouldn’t have done. The whole thing has become infected and it has got to be dealt with.”
A propos our previous post, Cameron is playing with fire taking this line. For sure, it is generally agreed that that has indeed been a “failure of regulation”, but by far the bulk of regulation, and the regulatory structures, are of EU origin. They are not within the gift of Cameron to change, without taking on the European Union, which the leader of the opposition shows no sign of doing. But to pretend that they are “Gordon Brown’s” is a very silly strategy indeed.
Isn’t it all the failure of capitalism?
Posted: 28th, September 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comments (8)
EdF Glows With Pride At Radioactiove Take Over
BRITISH Energy is now owned by the free enterprise French. French EdF, 84.8 per cent owned by the French state, bought British Energy for £12.4bn.
Declares The Libération “A nous les vielles centrales anglaises” (The ageing English power stations are all ours). Snotty in victory. It was ever so.
A press conference, then, staged by Gordon Brown’s brother Andrew. So to the Millennium Hotel, London, we go.
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Posted: 28th, September 2008 | In: Money | Comments (10)
Man Drowned In Thai Election Publicity Stunt
HAND our flyers for your candidate by all means. But would you lay down your life for David Cameron?
A publicity stunt by an underdog in the race to be governor of Bangkok went badly wrong when her campaign manager drowned as they bathed in a canal to highlight the plight of residents who have no access to clean water.
Candidate Leena Jangjanya said 32-year-old Thirasak Sitanont drowned on Thursday as she and other staff were showing journalists the rashes they got from washing in the filthy water.
“One of my staff saw him waving and crying for help, but we thought he was pretending and he was far away from us, posing for two TV crews,” a sobbing Leena told Reuters.
“A few minutes later he disappeared and we had to call the police to come and find him,” said Leena, who had fallen into another canal in front of the TV cameras on Wednesday as she was trying to show her support for riverboat commuters.
Gordon Brown’s supporters are facing far slower death…
Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Gordon Brown On Me, Myself And I, I, I And I
FRANK Luntz’s hears Gordon Brown talks about Me, Myself and I, I, I, I..:
He still doesn’t get it. In his open sentence he uses ‘I’ four times. Incredible. He still doesn’t realize that it’s not about him. It’s about the British people and what they want for the future. Blair understood that the people come first. Brown still thinks he comes first.”
He is Leader Number One.
At Home With Gordon Brown And His Props
Gordon Brown Should Have Married Jade Goody
Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (10)
At Home With Gordon Brown And His Props
OLD MRS Anorak The IV would like to tell all Anorak readers that her husband is a brilliant man and though not a celebrity, he is a good egg and blessed with the stamina of a Latvian fighting cock.
Like Gordon Brown, the non-celebrity who tells the Mail:
“The boys are our lives. They are just an amazing gift, and, when John was born, it was such an exciting occasion. To know he was healthy was incredibly important.”
Because as Gordon says: “My children aren’t props: they’re people.”
Posted: 24th, September 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (6)
Gordon Brown Should Have Married Jade Goody
ALONGSIDE news that Gordon Brown used his address to Labour Party conference to talk about himself and say that we was not a celebrity, and talk about “the real me” some more, is a picture of Jade Goody.
One cannot help but feel that had Brown employed Jayyde as his warm-up act rather than his functional wife Sarah, he might have received a fillip in the polls.
Might Jade Goody do for beige Brown what Sarah Palin has done for grey John McCain in the US: distract voters from looking at him?
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Posted: 24th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comments (10)
How Madeleine McCann And Pricness Diana Made Us Fear
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Baroness Neuberger: Children will grow up not trusting anyone in Britain’s risk-averse society”
Paedo!
Recent figures show there are no men under 25 working in England’s state-run nurseries, such is the fear of being branded a paedophile…
But no figures are given. How many men used to work in state-run nurseries? The Telegraph does not say; but it does find time to tell readers that:
“Her comments come amid increasing concerns that Government policies are poisoning relationships between people.”
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Posted: 24th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (190)
Gordon Brown Wants New Country People
HERE’S what Gordon Brown’s big speach as all about:
http://wordle.net/gallery/wrdl/205443/Gordon_Brown%27s_Big_Speech
Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
David Miliband Gordon Brown Caption Contest
HAVING told Vladimir Putin in no uncertain terms that if Russia continued to roll guns and tanks into Georgia he would be very, very displeased, Foreign Secretary David Miliband is keen to show that their is no Cold War between he and Gordon Brown.
As DM says to the PM:
“Until such a time when Gordon Brown, should he, possibly, sort of, feel old and tired and useless, I will continue to honour him as the terrific leader he is, unless, of course, the man no-one ellected to be Prime Minister should see fit to answer the prayers of millions of backbenchers and step down immediately, sort of…
“In the meantime, Mr Brown should not lower himself to sack me, because as a strong man and a man of untold strength and courage he knows better than to listen to idle rumour and unsubstantiated articles in the national press that I Miliband want his inherit his job, his home, his children and his rare fortitude…etc.
Your captions please…
Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (9)
Alan Sugar Urges Those With Big Balls To Get Behind Gordon Brown
IF only The Apprentice’s Alan Sugar could fire Gordon Brown. But Sir Alan only wants the best staff to fill that office job vacancy in Brentwood.
Can he make Gordon an offer he cannot ignore, perhaps pushing Sugar’s new range of Amstrad teeth whitening fluid?
Here’s Sir Alan championing his man at the start of the Labour Party conference. You may need to wash you teeth after reading this:
“My company got into big trouble at the end of the eighties. I was into the banks for £150million. That was a lot of money then. I had £300million pounds of inventory and I also had a bunch of executives that had enjoyed the rise to fame.
“I called them all in for a meeting and I said, ‘Those of you who are worried about tarnishing your CVs who might wanna leave what they perceive to be a sinking ship like rats, clear off now. And those of you that are with me we’re going to go into battle and sort this out.’
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Posted: 21st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comments (23)
The Greatest Non-Sequitur Of The Decade
HEADLINES like “WE‘RE ALL F***ED” (all papers) might have led readers to believe that the world’s economy was in freefall and we were all doomed to rearing turnips as a source of fuel, housing and good, clean, honest fun.
Now the Times says we’ve been to “Hell and back”. The Express leads with “SHARE BOOM SENSATION”. “The panic is over…possibly,” says the Independent. And the Sun commands readers to “FILL YOUR BOOTS”.
We’ve never had it so good.
(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)
And that goes for Gordon Brown, too, who is the recipient of the Guardian’s non-sequitur of the decade: “After the crash, a record bounce – and Brown fightback begins.”
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Posted: 20th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Who Said This..?
WHO said this..?
“We are banking on private initiative, entrepreneurial freedom, openness and rational integration with the global economy”
a) Gordon Brown
b) George Bush
c) Osama bin Laden
d) Barack Obama
e) Vladimir Putin
f) Hugo Chavez
g) John Maynard Keynes
Answer…
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Posted: 20th, September 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comments (3)
Polly Tonybee Wants Gordon Brown To Be As Consistent As She Is
POLLY Toynbee is a Guardian columnist and president of the Social Policy Association. She is a solid and clear voice, an opinion former:
“A cabinet of minnows and spineless backbenchers include many – perhaps most – who want Brown gone, but lack the nerve to act. They wait for someone else, for Brown to walk away or for a proverbial bus to save them from the task” – Polly Tonybee, Sep 6, 2008
Not to be confused with this Polly Tonybee:
“…as they stepped into No 10 yesterday, here was as decent and clever a team of ministers as ever graced the cabinet table. Two Milibands, Ed Balls, Jackie Smith, Harriet Harman, Alan Johnson, Douglas Alexander, Peter Hain and Hilary Benn – with the likes of John Denham and Yvette Cooper in attendance – present a good front. It’s certainly the most genuinely united government in living memory” – Polly Tonybee, June 29 2007
Consistency is what we’re after…
Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (3)
Gordon Brown Salutes Lehman Brothers’ Rosy Future
BANKING Quote Of The Day: Gordon Brown On Lehman Brothers:
“Lehman Brothers is a great company today that can both look backwards with pride and look forwards with hope. And in wishing Lehman Brothers the success it deserves for its future, let me thank you for the privilege of being here and formally declare this building open” – Gordon Brown opening Lehman’s European HQ, Canary Wharf April 2004.
Let’s hope Gordon’s future is every bit as rosy as that of the Lehman Brothers…
Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comment (1)
Tony Blair’s Weather Machine Creates An Upside Down Rainbow
THE Sky is smiling. The sky is smirking. It’s an upside down rainbow over Cambridge…
EXCEPTIONAL atmospheric conditions created a rare and stunning display in the skies above Cambridge.
At 4.45pm on Sunday, a circumzenithal arc – which looks like a bright, upsidedown rainbow – was visible above the city.
A miracle. A sign. On omen. Or just Tony Blair’s weather machine laughing at Gordon Brown?
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Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (3)
POW: Putin And Sarkozy’s Political Fight Club
RUSSIAN tiger hunter and lover Vladimir Putin is to train France’s pocket-sized leader Nicholas Sarkozy in the art of unarmed combat, reports Le Figaro.
Says Putin: “He is interested in martial arts and we have decided to do some training together.”
Anorak wonders if the two men have decided to save money on their respective armies by forming the Politicians Organisation de Wrestlers (POW)?
If so, it’s a good idea, and one trailed by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
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Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
