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Recording Starts At Guy Ritchie’s Punchbowl Pub Movie

7700815THERE’S a microphone outside Guy Ritchie’s The Punchbowl pub in London’s Mayfair, there to monitor noise as the former Mr Madonna and his Mockney Rebels ‘ave it large up the quince and avocado pears for a bit of celeb and tickle and lashing of Becks ‘n’ Posh.

News is that Westminster City Council has received 37 complaints of noise, which may be a lot. The sounds of braying and the snap of camera shutters closing are causing a bit of a waxed Barbour and getting in the locals’ Latvian au pair.

The council says the microphone doesn’t record conversations but simply measures decibel levels. But the voices should be recorded and if set to a score in which Chas ‘n’ Dave play Hava Nagila in the amnnr of a Greek restaurateur. This is Ritchie’s next big film in the making.

Ritchie could talk about “the classical body of wisdom” and introduce a caper for “The Natives of England” to ride with hounds across Hyde Park in search of The Fox, an Albanian Samantha Fox look-alike who has stolen a rare breed of pig from Her Majesty’s butcher, and on the eve of the Cup Final, and all.

Leonardo DiCaprio could star as Widow Twanky.

Scene 1:

GR: Wotcha…

Lily Allen: … Cocks



Posted: 12th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Madonna And Guy Were Trying To Act

MADONNA and Guy Ritchie are divorcing.

Why? Because they “can’t bear to live with the pretence any longer”.

Anyone who has seen Madonna pretending, or acting as one calls it, will know how unbearable things can get.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (5)

Cock-Knees Up: Thieves Strike At Guy Richie’s Birthday Bash

COR luve a hound, Guv’nor, wots all this abaht Guy Richie’s birthday party?

The Star says that while the Mockney one was engaged in an East End sing-song with friends, thieves struck at a neighbouring telephone exchange.

No more details are listed, and it thought that the coffee leaves had it on their plates of foie gras with a few phone books and some stamps.

But are the two incidents connected? Says the Star:

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Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment