headlines | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘headlines’

Headline of the week: ‘How would you like to enter Miss Southampton?’

Miss touhampton headline fail.


Spotter: @subedited

Posted: 30th, August 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Middlesbrough Manager Aitor Karanka ‘Aims To Break In New Boys Gently’

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TODAY’S Newcastle Journal leads with news that Middlesbrough manager Aitor Karanka  “Aims To Break In New Boys Gently”.

Here’s hoping his aim is every bit as good as it used to be.

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Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Balliol Balls: Three Englishmen Saved from Boiling Pot By Cannibal Chief, Who Was Friend at Oxford University

EPIC headlines harks back to December 16, 1922:

Three Englishmen Saved from Boiling Pot By Cannibal Chief, Who Was Friend at Oxford

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Posted: 5th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Panama’s Critica newspaper repsonds in industrial English to Mexico’s World Cup winner


THE English language is Britain’s gift to the colonies and the world. Panama’s Critica newspapers is well-versed in English. No other language will do when those Mexicans have defeated Panama in a CONCACAF World Cup qualifier. The  decisive goal in a 2-1 win was a whirling bicycle kick (chilena) from Raul Jiménez.

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Posted: 14th, October 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

‘I was bashed with a dildo by man in leather mak…and he killed my dog’

“I WAS bashed with a dildo by man in leather mask…and he killed my dog” – headline of the year, courtesy of Australia’s Daily Mercury...

Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment

MILF Braces For FAP Offensive: Rudest Headline Ever?

MILF Braces for FAP Offensive. Is that the filthiest headline ever in a family newspaper like the Philippine Star?

Facts: The online story readsMILF Braces for AFP Offensive“. AFP  is Armed Forces of the Philippines. MILF is Moro Islamic Liberation Front. FAP might be a typo or photoshop…

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Posted: 16th, November 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Kent Kerb-Crawker Picked Up WOmen To Improve His English

CAPS off those fine people at This Is Kent who managed to headline the story of a a kerb-crawler who told police he was looking to hire a woman to improve his English “hyhyhyhy yhyhyhyhyh”.

Ravi Chirra, 25, of Lullingstone Close in Hempstead, also claimed he wanted to help the woman get off the streets when he was pulled over by officers in July this year – but could not explain why he had five unused condoms in his pocket.Chirra appeared at Medway Magistrates’ Court last Wednesday where he pleaded guilty to soliciting.

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Posted: 19th, September 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

Newspaper Headlines – The Greatest Ever (Funny, Weird And Filthy)

LIKE you, Anorak loves newspapers. The world wide web is terrific, too, but Google, Bing, Twitter, Facebook and the like have forced writers to adapt language to fit the technology. The pun carries little weight with search engines and robots hunting for key words to place the story in a category. This is lamentable. One day, when newspapers have died out, a part of the English language will have gone with it.

One key thing when writing is to try an inject wit in what you do.  Newspapers are in the business of entertaining their readers. And everyone loves a joke.

We’ve compiled a gallery of some of our favourite newspaper headlines. There are lots – but each one will raise a smile – whether it be the Sun’s simple tribute to Jeremy Beadle (“Beadles’ Not About”); the accidental Express asking “Can Dec anally match Ant?”; the New York Post’s prosaic “Not So Fast You Greedy Bastards”; the Daily Record’s poetic “I kicked burning terrorist so hard in balls I tore tendon in my foot”; and the simple, ugly, brutal and jingoistic “GOTCHA”.

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Posted: 10th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

Dad Shot On Family Fun Day In Hackney Park: Hit Two Win A Soft Toy

LET no-one say that London is not a family friendly. (Click image to make bigger.)

Family fun days are fun for all the family, as this Telegraph headline shows. In other news, a man has been shot at the – oh, the irony – Parks for Life festival in London Fields, Hackney.

Hit two dads and win a soft toy…

Posted: 24th, May 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment