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Posts Tagged ‘J-Lo’

Soccerball Lover J-Lo Sings World Cup Song And Follows The Action On An App.

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THE World Cup is days away and fully grown adults are trying not to vomit with excitement about it all. Women and men everywhere are only half listening to conversations and forgetting to chew their food before swallowing, thanks to the impending cavalcade of football in Brazil.

Of course, the World Cup is big business. Non-football fans will be bitching and whining on social media, talking about how desperately unfair it all is even though they could go to a pub which isn’t showing the football, or go for a walk which isn’t football related or, indeed, look at everything that isn’t football related on the internet, listen to music, watch the numerous TV channels that are showing Not Football and do something else in this gigantic universe that we have, along with all those other people who don’t like football.

However, you can have it both ways – just ask Jennifer Lopez.

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Posted: 10th, June 2014 | In: Celebrities, Music, Sports | Comment


Jennifer Lopez lives her life as if walking in a perfume advert

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JENNIFER Lopez, aka Jenny who owns the block, is the subject of a  W Magazine article in which she returns to her roots in New York’s Bronx:

She turned away from the house and went to her dressing-room trailer, where she would be transformed into the star she had dreamed of becoming. An hour later, she was swathed in a mink coat and high black patent-leather stilettos, her hair styled in a shoulder-length wave. Lopez walked the street as if it were a runway. She asked an assistant to hold up a full-length mirror so she could watch—and direct—her performance for the camera. Eventually, she posed in front of the house that made her. Two children, who live there now, ran into the yard behind her. Lopez turned and smiled. I was you, she seemed to be saying. And now I’m me.

Jenny, who already has a 21-strong fragrance range –  one smells of “the way a woman feels when she discovers herself“; another of “a special glow that women get when they’re pregnant and falling in love with their babies” – appears to be living her as if existing in a perfume commercial. This one will be called Bronx Cheer – top notes of wet Dalmatian puppy over essence of new money and Orbit mint gum…

 

Posted: 10th, July 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


J Lo And Marc Anthony Split Over Infidelity, Jealousy And More!

WHILE a failed marriage must be very upsetting and distressing for those involved, its a whole heap of fun for those watching from the sidelines. Divorces don’t even have to be celebrity-based for us to hoot and howl at them, but it is all the sweeter when it does have famous people crying in it.

And of course, the big celebdivorce is Jennifer Lopez (still refusing to let everyone see her getting spanked in that sex video, the big spoilsport) and Marc Anthony.

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Posted: 20th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


J Lo And Ex To Star In Awkward Reality TV Show Together

THE whole world was rocked to its firey foundation when Jennifer Lopez and someone called Marc Anthony (aka Booty & The Beast) decided to call time on their relationship!

‘You seemed so happy together!’, ‘You were the most perfect couple in the history of humanity!’, ‘Why didn’t you let us see that sex tape where you got your lovely bum spanked Jennifer?!’ cried humans into the ether, hoping that their words would float on the winds and into the sculpted ears of J Lo and that guy she was seeing.

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Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Monaco Grand Prix: Bernie Ecclestone, Jennifer Lopez And Marc Anthony Create The Picture Of The Year

THE best picture of the Monaco Grand Prix is not of Mark Weber, the race winner, stood in a huge Jacuzzi with a champer’s cork in his mouth. The best picture is not of ‘The Brand” Lewis Hamilton in a tight top. The best picture is not of the Sugababes inhaling petrol fumes. The best picture is of President and CEO of Formula One Bernie Ecclestone with R’n’B star Pharrell Williams, singer Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony in the paddock. In one shot Bernie, who often looks like an action figure, seemingly trying an impression of Norman Wisdom sidling up to his paramour. J-Lo’s head will turn and fail to spot Bernie, who will be left puckering up to thin air.

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President and CEO of Formula One Bernie Ecclestone with singer Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony (left to right) in the paddock during the Monaco Grand Prix at the Circuit de Monaco, Monte Carlo.

Of course, Mr Ecclestone is happily married and very much in love with his wife. Our reverie is the product of only our mind and based on no facts whatsoever. (That do, ed?)

Posted: 16th, May 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Jennifer Lopez Goes Viral With No More Tears (Enough is Enough)

READY for the Jennifer Lopez shocker? Back in the late 70s when two two golden-throated divas – Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer – ducked into a recording studio to duet a song called No More Tears (Enough is Enough), there was no such thing as a digital do-over.

Fast forward 31 years.

It’s become an age of high tech voice recording, where anybody can be made to sound good. Even, for example, Jennifer Lopez.

Well, apparently La Lopez pissed off the wrong audio engineer during a recording session for her most recent album, ’cause he’s posted part of it on YouTube, without benefit of the digital bells & whistles that have enhanced her voice in the past.

The sound is posted on YouTube udner the title: “Jennifer Lopez MAJOR FAIL – Engineer Releases Scratch Meant for TRASH!” Only, well, it isn’t that bad – the feeling here is that this is a big of viral PR to help relaunch Lopez’s song. Spite travels well on the web, so the thing has already been watched hudnreds of thousands of times.

Here it is. The problem is that it’s not bad enough to be memorable. Lopez is neither sweary nor funny enough. Some bad language:

– Spotter and reporter RR

Posted: 5th, April 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)