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Posts Tagged ‘Jade Goody’

Jade Goody returns for one more Big Brother

jade goody derek acorah

 

Good news for TV types looking to create telly on a low-budget: when you hire to-deadline psychic Derek Acorah, you also get Jade Goody and David Gest. It’s a three-for-one deal. Sure, two of the trio are dead, but if it’s good enough for God, it’s more than works for Celebrity Big Brother.

In the Daily Star, we read: “Derek claims to be in touch with dead housemates Jade Goody and David Gest.” The rest of us can catch them on Big Brother highlights reels, which haven’t needed to be updated for years.

Now, who fancies a Popadom?

 

Posted: 3rd, August 2017 | In: Celebrities, News, TV & Radio | Comment


Max Clifford Mint Presents Princess Diana And Jade Goody Heirloom Figurine

CHERYL Cole has ago but role of “nation’s sweetheart”. But now thank to Max Clifford Solution, you can hark back to those halcyon days of Princess Diana and Jade Goody in “Together Forever” – features “two Princesses from opposite side of the track, joined forever in happiness  in the hereafter.

“From the authentic matchplay-grade table tennis table, to the bats backed with genuine dimpled rubber, to the intricately sculpted angel wings, every details of this collectors’ heirloom figurine is designed to give you joy”

 

max clifford mint

Spotter: @MarcherLord1, via Lady Andrea ‏@_AndreaUrbanFox1m

Posted: 11th, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Royal Family, The Consumer | Comment


Phone-Hacked Jade Goody Was A Tax Dodger But The Sun Can Save Her Children

JADE Goody is back. The Sun declares:

“JADE’S CASH WIPED OUT BY £1.8M DEBTS” – Tax and bills swallow up sons’ inheritance

Well, quite. Tax a bills tend to swallow up most people’s money. Maybe – just maybe – it can be proved that Jade’s phone was hacked by the Sun’s former sister paper the News of The World and tragic Jade’s children can get a huge payout? Jade Goody is front-page news on the Sun. Maybe the paper can investigate this latest tragedy to befall Jade in a series of paid-for interviews with her surviving kith and kin that form Jade Goody Inc.?

Emily Nash reports:

TRAGIC Jade Goody’s £2.2million fortune was nearly wiped out by massive debts — leaving less than £400,000 for her young sons, The Sun can reveal.

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Posted: 1st, October 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Jade Goody’s Mum Loses Jade Goody’s Little Sister In Cultural Nadir

ALAS! Jade Goody’s mum, Jackiey Budden, will not be a having a baby at 55 years of age.

The People learns that Budden has lost her growing baby 10 weeks into her pregnancy.

Jackiey, who “believes” the embryo was a girl, tells The People:

“I thought God was giving me one last chance to bring up a child. I thought Jade was bringing me a little girl from up there. It was like she was helping me from Heaven.”

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Posted: 25th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Jack Tweed Escapes Life Imprisonment Again: Mr Jade Goody Sentenced For Assault (Photos)

JACK Tweed has been sentenced for punching a man in the back of his head outside the Deuces Bar and Lounge, in Chigwell,

Tweed has been given a 18-month supervision order and 100 hours of unpaid work. He will also attend a programme (not televised) to help him stop breaking the law. And he will pay costs of £625.

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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Jack Tweed In Court For Assault: It’s What Jade Goody Would Have Wanted

WHAT’S Jade Goody’s jobbing husband Jack Tweed up to? Well, he’s at Redbridge Magistrates Court, Ilford, where he admitted assaulting a man outside Deuces Bar and Lounge in Chigwell, Essex. Tweed, 24, pleaded guilty to common assault as his trial was due to begin.

Tweed, of Buckhurst Hill, Essex, punched Tom Grantham in the head on January 3 this year, knocking the other man. His brother, Lewis Tweed, 21, of Roebuck Lane, Buckhurst Hill, who also admitted common assault.

Prosecutor Alex Matic tells the court:

“Jack Tweed runs round the back of the claimant and swings a punch which connects with his head. The claimant staggers backwards for a short while then he falls to the ground…Lewis Tweed is seen to kick the victim in the groin whilst he is on the ground, also he punches the victim in the face.”

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Posted: 3rd, August 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


Jade Goody’s Hacked Phone And Other Big Brother Bullshit

THE Daily Star introduces readers to the launch of Big Brother on Channel Five – owner: Richard Desmond, who also owns the Daily Star – with front-page news that “TRAGIC JADE’S PHONE WAS HACKED”.

Was Jade Goody’s phone hacked? Did journalists or people working for the News of The World hack Jade Goody’s phone? We don’t know. They might of. Maybe.

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Posted: 21st, July 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)


OK! Asks Jack Tweed If He Worries That Jade Goody Sees Him Having Sex With Other Women

IN his week’s OK! we meet Jack Tweed, Mr Jade Goody.

The interview is entitled:

“It must be horrible for Jade to see me with other girls.”

Alongside this is a photo of Jack stood before a long ornate mirror. In the mirror is the image of Jade Goody, her hands clasped in prayer.

Can OK! top its question to Jack Tweed when it asked him not long after Jade’s passing how he coped “with his manly needs”?

Well, it tries:

“You must be embarrassed thinking that Jade might be looking down on you when you’re with another girl.”

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Posted: 1st, April 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comment


Jade Goody Facebook Troll Jailed For Mocking Mourn Porn With Necrophilia Gags

COLM Coss, 36, is the Facebook Legend who posted offensive messages on Facebook sites dedicated to dead people like Jade Goody and John Paul Massey, a Liverpool boy mauled to death by a dog. Some posts claimed he’d had sex with the dead person’s remains. Her didn’t. His lies got him an invite to Manchester Magistrates Court. After short hearing he is sentenced to 8 weeks jail for sending “malicious communications”.

He “preyed on bereaved families” for his “own pleasure“.

The BBC tells us:

Unemployed Coss was only caught when he sent residents on his street photos of himself saying he was an internet “troll”. One of the residents passed the photos to police who interviewed him before he eventually admitted to posting abusive messages.

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Posted: 29th, October 2010 | In: Technology | Comment


Jade Goody’s Ghost In Haunting Big Brother: Pictures

JADE Goody’s ghost “haunts” Big Brother. So says the Daily Star on its front page.

Jade Goody seems to haunt the Star, too. Deprived of its front-page stable, the Star pressed the panic button (f9) and led with daily news of Katie Price’s life.

There are schools of thought that argue that had Goody lived, Price would be still married to Peter Andre and the couple would be living under a rock in Australia waiting to be discovered by a researcher for 100 Greatest Televised Dry Humps. But Eton and Harrow debating societies are not of the real world. In the real world, Jade Goody is dead and haunting Big Brother.

The story goes like this:

BIG BROTHER is being haunted by Jade Goody and her ghost is to blame for a series of eerie mishaps in the BB house…

CREEP! The curry powder has gone missing…

SPOOK! There is a stain in the shape of Norwich on the sofa…

WAIL! No-one is watching the show!!!

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Posted: 23rd, July 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (6)


Jack Tweed Back In The Dock As Model Laura Jones Tells All

JACK Tweed has been cleared of rape. But he continues to fascinate the Daily Star, which leads with:

“Jade’s Jack is ‘sleazy sex pest’”

Jack Tweed’s ambitions to command his own tabloid headlines remain on hold. But he does seem to be gaining a reputation for something. And they do no publicity is bad publicity.

Anyhow, back in the paper that advertises sex chatlines for onanists and is shares an owner with the Channel X stable of cable telly porn, we can hear more about Jack Tweed’s alleged lust from Laura Rose Jones.

Laura, who is his latest conquest, has warned other girls to watch out for his Jekyll and Hyde personality, claiming that his nice guy image is just an act.

This is the same Laura Rose who told us:

“GIVE ME A BAD BOY ANY DAY.”

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Posted: 14th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Jack Tweed’s Cuddle Animal Laura Rose Jones In Pictures

JACK Tweed is not a rapist. Mr Jade Goody emeritus did not rape ‘Emma Watson‘. So, here’s “glamour girl” Laura Rose Jones to tell tabloid readers: “Bad boys are more fun.” Or as the Daily Star’s front-page headline puts it:

“Jack girl: I’ve been so foolish.”

Inside, over pages 4 and 5, Laura Rose Jones seems ambiguous. Has she been a fool or fallen? The headline yells:

“GIVE ME A BAD BOY ANY DAY.”

Saddam Hussein is dead. Osama bin Laden is missing. So, she shagged Jack Tweed?

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Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Jack Tweed, Jade Goody, Emma Watson A Rape Crisis

JACK Tweed, widow of Jade Goody, is not a rapist. This is a fact verified in a court of law. Jack Tweed might be a gormless pillock or a sex god. Form your own opinions. But he is definitely not a rapist. So, what to make of the NoTW’s story:

My hell as I told Mum ‘I’m girl in Tweed rape’.”

In it, readers get to hear the words of the young woman who claims Tweed and his friend raped her. She is the “pretty student”. Her looks are relevant, apparently. Tweed did not shag a munter, rather he had consensual sex with a pretty young gel. Phew!

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Posted: 2nd, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Jack Tweed In Jade Goody Costa Slappa Orgy, Probably

JACK Tweed is not a rapist but is still in the shadow of Jade Goody, and he died a year ago. On the cover of the Daily Star, Jack remains “JADE’S JACK”. And he is on a “WILD BOOZE HOLS ORGY”.

Jack Tweed has taken his “pals” to the “costa del sex”.

Jade Goody – Life In Pictures

Where’s that, then? Turns out it’s the Costa del Sol. And that Jack hasn’t actually gone there yet:

JACK Tweed will celebrate being cleared of rape with an orgy of booze and sex in Spain. The only thing wild about this orgy is the speculation and the Star’s front-page headline.

A Lauren Pope will be there – pictures of the country’s anti-Pope here. And it will be wild and cray-zee. Or as doe-faced Jack says:

“I just want to lead a normal life. I want to graft, earn some money and have a holiday.”

Phwoarrr! Not ‘alf!

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Picture 1 of 18

Dental nurse Jade Goody greets presenter Davina McCall as she leaves the Big Brother house at Elstree Studios in Hertfordshire to become the ninth contestant to be evicted as the fly-on-the-wall show reached its dramatic finale.

Posted: 28th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Nation’s Sweetheart Jack Tweed Is Not A Rapist: Jade Goody’s Grave Awaits Photo Op (Pictures)

JACK Tweed. Not a rapist. Mr Jade Goody, of Jade Goody industries, is not rapist. Repeat, he is not a rapist. The identity of the woman who accused him is not revealed in the press. But chances are it soon will be. It should be. It must be.

Says Tweed, who will be surely pictured sat by Jade Goody’s grave in the paper’s tomorrow:

“I’m relieved that the jury have taken a matter of minutes to see through these scurrilous and completely groundless allegations.”

Jade Goody – Life In Pictures

Scurrilous. He said that? No, he was talking through his brief, Philip Smith. Go on:

“I now want to put the last eight months behind me and rebuild my life as a 22-year-old young man.”

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Posted: 26th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


In Pictures: Jade Goody Implicated In Jack Tweed ‘Rape’ Case

DAY 2 of the Jack Tweed rape trial and Jade Goody is getting star billing. Whatever Jack Tweed does – get photographed during extempore grave visits; smack a lad with golf club; wear knickers and a bra – it’s never enough to be star in his own right. Now, he allegedly, rapes a girl and still it’s not good enough. As the Sun damn him on its front page:

“JADE’S JACK RAPED ME”

The Star yells:

“JACK TWEED ‘RAPED’ TEEN WEEKS AFTER JADE’S DEATH”

Tsk! Where’s the respect for Our Jade? Might he not have waited a bit longer to be accused of rape?

The allegation is that Jack tweed raped a girl and that while doing so his friend, one Anthony Davis – a David Schwimmer look-alike – held the bedroom door shut and uttered the immortal line:

“Do what you’ve got to do.”

She says rape. Tweed and Davis deny the charge and say any sex was consensual.

And Jade Tweed might well wonder what he has to do to be his own celebrity?

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Picture 1 of 18

Dental nurse Jade Goody greets presenter Davina McCall as she leaves the Big Brother house at Elstree Studios in Hertfordshire to become the ninth contestant to be evicted as the fly-on-the-wall show reached its dramatic finale.

Posted: 13th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


In Pictures: Jack Tweed Back In Court On Rape Charge

JACK Tweed, the jobbing Mr Jade Goody, arrived at Snaresbrook Crown Court, London, where he is to go on trial accused of raping a teenager. Tweed wore drk glasses and a girl’s jacket. Tweed and one Anthony Davis denied two counts of rape at a hearing in December. The attack is alleged to have taken place at Tweed’s former home in Brandesbury Square, Repton Park, Woodford Green, east London.

Posted: 12th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)


Jack Tweed Conducts The Jade Goody Memorial Players

ANORAK brings you this update in Drum Banging mode (press f7) live from the Jade Goode grave site. As we bang this drum harder and harder and harder we are forced to SHOUT THE NEWS THAT JACK TWEED HAS BEEN SEEN NEAR THE JADE GOODY GRAVE.

Jade Goody – Life In Pictures

It was Jade Goody’s memorial service yesterday and the Sun says that Jack Tweed was  “SNUBBED“. Only he wasn’t. He turned up and lit a candle. Anyhow, here’s Jack photographed by Jade’s grave. Can you see him? CAN YOU SEE HIM? What d’yer mean we need to speak up?

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Posted: 22nd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Jade Goody In Drugs And Drink Shocker

AS the tabloids circle the first anniversary of the death of Jade Goody, the NoTW spots Jade’s mum Jackiey Budden “on a 16-hour drugs and booze binge…

This news is equipped with the sympathetic qualifier:

“…just three days before the anniversary of her tragic daughter’s death.”

This is what happens when a star dies – the survivors and business partners keep their memory alive by doing what they were famous for. Michael Jackson’s family milk his remains for pop records and films. Jade Goody is embroiled in a night of boozing.

This is Jackiey Budden who placed goods at the death scene:

* Jackiey recalls how when Jade died, she put “an apron on and washed her and I covered her in her favourite cream, Jo Malone… You have to use Joe Malone, it was her favourite.”

Back to the story, and The Goody Gran is reported to have scarfed 14 large gin and tonics, two wines (bottles) and snorted a couple of grams of cocaine. Well, whatever helps you deal with the loss…

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Posted: 21st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Jade Goody’s Mother’s Day: Freddie’s Amazing Shoelaces And Jackiey’s Grave Watch

JADE Goody is being remembered in the Sun. This is “Jade – One Year On – by her mother Jackiey for Mother’s Day”. Jackiey writes an opens letter to Jade, who in heaven is reading The Sun. Jackiey is, as ever, posed by her daughter’s grave, lest we forget Jade is actually deceased and not part of an elaborate ruse to make the tabloids like her.

The letter feature the line:

“It’s a simple inscription but we were never a family for grand speeches so I thought it was fitting.”

Maybe not grand speeches, but they are given to making long ones. This one’s been a year in the making.

Jade Goody – Life In Pictures

Before we get to the Sun’s mawkish exploitation, Jeff Brazier, father to Jade’s son talks to the Star:

“Bobby and Freddy are coping and they are truly happy but there isn’t a day that goes by when they don’t think of Mum. That will be especially true for Mother’s Day. Jade was the best mum my children could have had and she is loved and never forgotten.”

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Posted: 13th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Amanda Holden ‘Catches’ Jade Goody’s High-Profile Cancer

JADE Goody Day, formerly Mothers’ Day, approaches, and Amanda Holden wants us all to know that she “feared she’d ‘die like Jade Goody’”

What, loved by millions and lamented in a televised funeral? Don’t worry, Amanda. It’s very unlikely. But cancer is no joke and we turn to hear Holden’s tale of woe:

Britain’s Got Talent judge Amanda Holden yesterday said she feared she might die after a cancer scare. The actress, 39, was rushed to hospital when a doctor on the set of her ITV show Fantasy Lives found a lump in November.

Shells been a midwife, a singer and a self-aggrandising pain in the arse. Now she’s Jade Goody.

Jade Goody – Life In Pictures

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Posted: 11th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Jade Goody Day Countdown: Mother’s Day Special

THE tabloid countdown to Jade Goody Day, formerly known as Mothers’ Day, continues as the Jade Twitchers – a shadowy group of paparazzi who disguised as undergrowth and trees keep a constant vigil at Jade’s grave for signs of life – spots Jackiey Budden’s at the former star’s graveside…

Jade Goody – Life In Pictures

Says the Daily Star:

“Jajkiey in Jade Tribute.”

It’s what she would have wanted. Truly, it is…

Jade Goody – Life In Pictures

More to follow…

Posted: 10th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Jade Goody: A Year Without Her In Pictures And Will

JADE Goody is back and so is that subsidiary of Jade Good Incorporated, Mr Jack Tweed, her widow.

To recap: Jack is out of jail and has been picked up The Jade Twitchers, a group of paparazzi who disguised as undergrowth and trees keep a constant vigil at Jade’s grave for signs of life. Having migrated to jail – he did bird – Jack is now back in view for spring, the anniversary of Jade deaths and Mother’s Day.

Jade Goody’s Funeral Pictures

Douglas Wight and Kat Lay have more news for News of The World readers:

* JADE Goody made certain her playboy widower Jack Tweed wasn’t left a penny of her £3million fortune.

Playboy? And as for his being huge scoop, remember this from one year ago?

* It was reported Jade left Jack nothing in her will, but he has earned £140,000 from recent photoshoots.

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Posted: 7th, March 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (10)


Jade Goody Returns In Song As Jack Goody Is Spotted At The Grave

7364006JADE Goody is back. Manning Jade Goody’s grave cam has been proper yakka for the Sun’s team. But they’ve put in the hards yards, got a few pictures of flowers growing, and then Jade Tweed arrived. The Sun’s Grave Twitchers, hidden within a tree, write in a soft-nibbed pencil:

On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang “Willow, titwillow, titwillow!”

EMOTIONAL Jack Tweed places fresh flowers at wife Jade Goody’s grave after being freed from prison yesterday – and then tells how he is struggling without her.

It’s the greater spotted Jack Tweed.

Jade Goody’s Funeral Pictures

The grieving 22-year-old told a friend: “While I was inside I couldn’t wait to get home – but there will be a big gap without Jade.”

It pays to watch a grave. Jade Goody is there to entertain. And we feel a song coming on:

And I said to him, “Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing Willow, titwillow, titwillow’?”
“Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?” I cried,
“Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?”

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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Celebrity Big Brother: Ivana Trump To Play Jade Goody In TV Biopic

ivana-trump2CELEBRITY Big Brother: Lady Sovereign is embroiled in a “NEW BIG BROTHER BULLY ROW”  and Jade Goody is back in the guise of Ivana Trump:

So says the Daily Star, which presses the Big Brother buttons with all the gusto of a sex-starved monkey on a hole in a hairy keyboard. Having brought us Katia Ivanova’s sex tape story, the papers now presses F8 and delivers the traditional Big Brother bully episode.

The paper says that Lady Sov is “struggling to cope, just like Shilpa Shetty”.

Admittedly, watching Big Brother can be hard yakka, but Shilpa can take comfort from no longer being on the show.

“It’s Jade and Shilpa hell all over again.”

That’s Jade Goody. And is her name is being evoked, then who gets to play her? The smart money is on Stephanie Beacham, who for all the snootiness is an ex-Playboy stripper last seen romancing Ken Baldwin on Coronation Street’s love barge. On second thoughts, she’s too downmarket. Ivana Trump’s more the thing.

Says Sov:

“I was bullied into making myself look absolutely horrible and that wasn’t the case. Everyone was bullying me except Sisqo and Stephen. I would say the main bullies were Dane and Stephanie, without a doubt.”

Dane Bowers? The Star has evidence:

Stephanie even described her as a “vile creature who has not been brought up well”… Dane raged: “I want to drop-kick her. She’d better be careful because I can tear her down and I’ll do it in front of people.”

As we can see on the straight-to-tissues internet video with Katie Price, Dane talks with his toes. If Bowers drop kicks Sov, let’s hope he’s wearing a contraceptive sock and has trimmed his nails.

Posted: 20th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment