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James Brown’s miracle cape is for sale

Start saving up. Reach down the back of the sofa. Consider getting along on one lung. James Brown’s cape is for sale. You’ll needed around £25,000 to get it.

The silver sequinned cape was gifted to the soul singer by Michael Jackson.

Anyone investing in this cape will, of course, be empowered with restorative a force that defies medical experts and the brightest minds. Picture the scene: exhausted and stumbling you reach for the warmth and security the cape gives. No sooner is it about your drooping shoulders than you feel its godly force. You are restored to full vigour.

As such we can expect to see lots of Olympic athletes, Russian tennis players and British cyclists bidding for the item. Look, ma! No needles! (Although any pills you find in the hem you use at your own risk.)

 

silver cape james brown

 

 

silver cape james brown

 

Take ’em away, James Brown:

 

Spotter: Swann Galleries.

Posted: 18th, March 2017 | In: Celebrities, Fashion, The Consumer | Comment


James Brown teaches us to dance like Mr Bo Jangles’ Funky Chicken

WHO taught you how to dance? Clearly, no-one.

The aim of most dancers is to get into the middle of a large group already at it and hope no-one notices them. Either that or do The Madness dance. We cannot all be Yorkshire TV dancing champions. So. Where disco dancing Dick Blake failed, James Brown can only help. He’s here to teach us The Funky Chicken, The Boogaloo and The Camel Walk.

The trick is… Well, there is no tick. You either can do it well or you can’t do it well. But anyone can have fun trying. If you have no natural ability you just need lots of space, socks, good knees and a lack of self-awareness bordering on the criminal. James, of course, makes it look easy and fun:

Posted: 7th, October 2013 | In: Flashback, Music | Comment


James Brown’s Body Is Missing: In Pictures

WHOA! James Brown’s body is no longer mouldering in his grave according to one of his daughters.

The soul singer who died on Christmas Day 2006 , was in a crypt at his daughter Deanna’s South Carolina home while the family looks for a more fitting open to his public mausoleum

LaRhonda Pettit, his 48-year-old illegitimate daughter, claims he has been spirited off somewhere to stop her discovering his true cause of death..

James was 73 when a heart attack stopped the music.

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Posted: 12th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The British Fashion Awards: In Pictures

TO the British Fashion Awards at London’s Royal Courts of Justice, London. We watched and knitted as the accused passed us by. They came to be tried for crimes against fashion and fat. The court calls: Victoria Beckham (glum), Amber le Bon (famous mum), Claudia Schiffer (adopted German), Lauren Laverne (BBC), Amanda Wakeley (fashion enabler), Myleene Klass (ubiquitous), Holly Branson (daddy), Sarah Brown (hubby), Sam Branson (pater), Isabella Calthorp (money), Laura Bailey (Pout of the night award!), Danny Cipriani (rugger), Jameela (telly), Beverley Knight (songs), Erin O’Connor (top toff model), Pixie Geldof (dadday), James Brown (dead?), Shingai Shoniwa (Shinga the singa), Tolula Adeyemi (chant), Nadja Swarovski (fake rocks), Kate Moss and Vivienne Westwood (peas in a pod). How do you plead?

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(left to right) Kate Moss and Vivienne Westwood after Moss won the London 25 British Fashion Council Award at the Royal Courts of Justice, London.

Posted: 10th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Michael Jackson’s Doctor Murray Linked To James Brown’s Death

jackson-brownMICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – did Michael Jackson’s doctor “KILL” James Brown?”

So asks the National Enquirer on its front page. There can be no easy answer, just more question:

Q: Was James Brown murdered?

Q: Given that Michael Jackson was treated by a around 56% of the US medical profession, the odds of a doctors also having treated the Godfather of Soul are high.

Q: Michael Jackson is dead?

Reading on, and we are fed the name Dr Conrad Murray, a man who has had his name sullied in the media and yet who remains innocent of any wrongdoing because – get this – there is not a shred of evidence that he has done anything wrong.

Says a Brown’s ex-publicist James Hollander:

“James and Michael we inseparable and they used the same ‘safe doctors’ who get them anything they wanted.”

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Posted: 18th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)