Posts Tagged ‘Jedward’
When Jedward Met Adam Lambert And The Black Eyed Peas: Pictures
JEDWARD are in the Shake ‘n’ Vac advert. And, as we have reported, although John and Edward Grimes, as Jedward are known, spritzed the streets of Soho with a white powder – with no sign of a vacuum cleaner nor carpet – Shake ‘n’ Vac does NOT contain meow meow, mephedrone, sparkle nor any narcotic and is not the “new cocaine”.
Before Jedward move onto advertising instant mash, sucking on a flake, beating off a cup of Gold Blend, having one of those nights for Lemonade or getting an “ology” – toxicology – they have been meeting the stars. Here they are with Adam Lambert and The Black Eyed Peas…
Posted: 7th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (22)
Health Alert: Jedward’s Shake And Vac Does Not Contain Mephedrone
WHEN we spotted Jedward – John and Edward Grimes – stood on the pavement of London shaking white powder about, fears of an anthrax infestation were alleviated when we noted that the X Factor products had become the faces of Shake ‘n’ Vac, a white, powdery substance that rids the carpet of foul smells.
It’s a marketing campaign. And the hope seems to be that the icons of dazed and confused youth will take Shake ‘n Vac to their young fans’ hearts, possibly with the same gusto as the youth embrace meow meow, Sherbet Dip Daps, Vim and all other household products.
Their agents got in touch to remind us that Shake ‘n’ Vac is not a drug that makes you sing and dance as you get the stench of cat wee out of your rug. Shake ‘n’ Vac is a narcotic-free matter that should neither be snorted nor injected.
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Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Jedward’s Shake ‘n’ Vac Advert: Pictures, Video And Meow Meow
CAN X Factor Duracell Gonks John and Edward Grimes, aka Jedward, make the 1980’s Shake n’ Vac song a hit – and make Shake ‘n’ Vac the new meow meow?
We spotted the carpet cleaners remaking the 1980’s Shake n’ Vac song at London’s Dean Street Studios in Soho. Shake ‘n’ Vac is mummy’s little helper. Just dust. Stand on your head and inhale (picture 3). Sod the carpets…
Note: While photographing the shakers, a passing bike courier yelled out “They’ve got anthrax”. No cops within earshot meant the boys escaped. This time…
(PS – This is a joke. Shake ‘n’ Vac is legit and contains no drugs.)
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Twins John and Edward Grimes otherwise known as Jedward, prepare to remake the 1980's Shake n' Vac song at Dean Street Studios in Soho, central London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Tuesday May 4, 2010. The song comes from the advert for Shake n' Vac, which in 2009 was ranked as one of the top UK ads of all time and will this year be 30 years old. Photo credit should read: Johnny Green/PA Wire
Posted: 4th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Pictures: Jedward To Star In New Shake ‘N’ Vac Advert
NEXT stop for Jedward a chance to sing the Shake ‘n’ Vac advert. Edward and John Grimes are to be the voices of nostalgic freshener.
Readers will remember the original adverts in which Jenny Logan dusted her avocado green carpet and hoovered.
The new ad will feature Jenny sprinkling the wonder power over the boys and sucking them into a tube.
Posted: 12th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jedward Go Bananas
JEDWARD might have been dropped by their record label but the X Factor’s Duracell Gonks are not resting on their laurels. The lads are aiming to secure the banana mobile gig. Pineapples or bananas – these boys can do the lot. An insider says the lads hope to crack the Big Apple, a huge Cox’s Orange Pippin that Edward will stick on his head while John attmpts to knock it off with a boomerang banana toss. The whole thing will be brodcast on Saturday night telly before a panel of celebrity windfall fruits and presented by Vernon Kay dressed as a hand of bananas…
Spotter: Tabloid Baby
Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jedward Caught Kissing On Twitter: Pictures
JEDWARD fill moments between singing for the lads (video) by posting pictures of themselves on Twitter. In one shot, Simon Cowell’s Duracell Gonks, John and Edward Grimes, kiss the mirror. Why not just kiss each other? The missing thing is the women? Where are the ladies Jedward? In the meantime, enjoy these images from the boys’ Twitter site…
Spotter: Tabloid Prodigy
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Jedward Video: Chewed Up And Spat Out By Warrington Wolves
WHAT news of X Factor’s singing Duracell Gonks Jedward? Well, they’ve been miming a Robbie Williams song, Ghostbusters and Under Pressure at a Warrington Wolves Vs. Harlequins rugby match at The Halliwell Jones Stadium. The Wolf never once ate them. And the best lyric of the night is saved right to the very end – 8:34 mark.
Posted: 8th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jedward Play GAY Heaven, GAYS In Hell Laugh: Pictures
JEDWARD, Simon Cowell’s pet Duracell Gonks – John Grimes and Edward Grimes – performed at G-A-Y Heaven in London. (What’s GAY Hell like – can it be that bad?) Their act is pretty crap, but still good enough to steal the show at the National Television Awards, that display of self-aggrandising pomposity where Loose Women win a factual telly going and someone who used to be the popular and likeable Dr Who makes us realise that he was a good actor. So here’s Jedward. Enjoy. It’s as good as it gets:
Posted: 31st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Jedward And Vanilla Ice Perform At National TV Awards: Pictures
FOR those of unable to comprehend the limited scope of British telly, there was the National Television Awards last night, an AGM for mediocrity starring Jedward and Vanilla Ice. The stars are extras in the big telly production, unsure whether to be celebrities and do as expected or to remind the viewers and their peers that they are actors pretending to be the person who won the National vote. Yep, National – slap that word in to give the do a new layer of faux up-its-own-arse credibility. Had Katie Price won she’d have dithered between eating a gonad in her professional I’m A Celebrity life and, er, well, eating a gonad in her private life. But you get the idea…
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Posted: 21st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The National TV Awards In Pictures: Katie Price Plus Jedward
ARE you ready for the National TV awards? The seats are being vacuumed. The seating plan is in the bag. Simon Cowell is front row. Cheryl Cole is front row, no – not sat next to misunderstood Ashley. Len Goodman is front row. TV judges are front row in the awards that you – the viewers – vote for. Dermot O’Leary host. And Jedward perform at the TV AGM…
Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
They All Look Like Jedward: A Picture Special
JEDWARD can’t sing and they can’t dance. But they can entertain. They can entertain because they have huge vehicle behind them. They have the context of the X Factor. Without the show and the hype that comes with it, Jedward are rubbish. Would you pay to see them? If you answer “yes”, best check what time the warden on your secure ward wants you back. If you can’t see Jedward, then you can see their look alikes. Here’s the gallery:
Posted: 12th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
X Factor: Stacey Solomon Gets Cabbaged And Joe McElderry Pulls
X FACTOR Watch: It’s the final weekend of the X Factor. Who wins: Disney character and granny-magnet Joe McElderry, hyperventilating Stacey Solomon or twitchy itchy dancer Olly Murs, the man whose name is contagious – literally? Look out for Olly’s impression of David Brent in a lift.
Geordie Joe McElderry will perform with George Michael. Wake Me up After You Joe Joe. Everyone else gets Jedward.
Jedward wins!
He is lining up a series of deals. Louis said: “They will be millionaires by the end of next year. TV, modelling endorsements, gigs, books, hair, pop music…they’ll be huge.” – Mirror
Amanda Holden Is Coller Than A Wasabi Enema
Amanda tells us: “I’m really hoping Joe will win. There is nobody out there on the market for 10 to 21-year-olds and fits the bill perfectly – Mirror
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Posted: 12th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
In Pictures: David Beckham Meets X Factor Horrors Jedward
FURTHER proof that David Beckham is morphing into the Third Member of husband and wife act Jedward, the hideous Duracell Gonk creation that Simon Cowell’s X Factor created and then released on a compliant world.
Anorak’s stalker with a camera was there to see David Beckham emerging from Cipriani’s in London. We were there to see John and Edward Grimes, aka Jedward channel Rupert the Bear as they visited Heart FM with presenter Toby Anstis. Pictures all and each to compare and contrast. Heated debate to follow:
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Posted: 8th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Capital FM’s Jingle Bell Ball In Pictures And Jedward
LAST seen fleeing a stage in Barnsley, X Factor creations Jedward – John and Edward Grimes – turned up in the press room of Capital FM’s Jingle Bell Ball at the O2 Arena in London.
They dress the same. They look the same. They – sadly – sound the same, stereo Duracell Gonks banging a tin milk drum.
How long can Jedward last without a) a novelty record; b) talent beyond enthusiasm; c) not admiting thay they are a husband and wife act?
Question: How much does it cost to book Jedward at your do? Answer: £21,000.
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Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Jedward Bottled On Stage
X FACTOR finalists Jedward have cancelled their appearance in Manchester’s Pure club “due to illness”.
In other unrelated news, Jedward have been pelted with a bottle and abuse as they took their Duracell Gonk act to Barnsley’s Escapade nightclub.
The twins flee, not stopping to pick up the bottle marked “broken glass” and gargle with its contents. Rock ‘n’ roll is dead. Says the popstars:
“We’re so disappointed, we didn’t even get to sing Ghostbusters.”
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Jedward Debut Novelty Christmas Song On The Simpsons
X FACTOR creations Jedward are to appear on an episode of The Simpsons. Already half–yellow and used as Simon Cowell’s play things, John and Edward Grimes will require little work to be transformed into cartoons.
Jedward: X Factor John And Edward Look Alike Gallery
The Sun says the X Factor twins “are set to get a quiff of TV stardom in America – in an episode of The Simpsons.” Fact!
Or as the show’s producers say:
“We are taking a look at the boys. We love anything Irish – we set a whole show there last year. They are certainly charming and good-looking fellows.”
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Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: JLS Met Sick Kids And Arsenal, In Pictures
WITH no group left standing on the X Factor, JLS have at last another season of fame in them. Today JLS appeared on the Rays of Sunshine Ward at King’s College Hospital, south London. The £1.8 million ward opened earlier this year to treat children with liver disease. Aston Merrygold (Matt Dawson in zoom), Oritse Williams, Marvin Humes and ‘JB’ smiled and had their photos taken with sickly children. The fame machine really is that cynical. But if one ill child can have their day improved, does the hideous PR and marketing-led brand building matter? No. (Look out for the child thinking that Great Ormond Street got Arsenal.) The pictures:
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Posted: 1st, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Jedward’s Exclusive London Show, In Pictures
JEDWARD – X Factor rejects John and Edward Grimes – have followed their singing shows at GAY and a club in Falkirk with a performance in the Talk Talk staff canteen. Jedward are singing from all the places that voted for them. Next week they’re Gordon Brown’s bedroom, then a secure unit in coastal north Wales followed by a phone box in Tring… We will be bring you pictures of each happening:
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Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor Singers Jedward Play Falkirk, In Pictures
REMEMBER when the X Factor was front-page news and Jedward were all the rage? Fair enough if you don’t – no medical treatment needed. Fame moves on pretty fast and if you blink you may miss your turn at it.
Anorak’s Man with a good memory for bad trivia caught up with John and Edward Grimes, aka Jedward, as they played the City Nightclub in Falkirk. Quit that look on your face like Indiana Jones running from the big ball. Watch and remember.
One question: does the Jedward tour follow X Facor voting patterns: first GAY, now Falkirk. They’re coming to your secure institution next…
Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Strictly Come Dancing Ricky Whittle Arrested By Celebrity Police Force
CAN it be mere coincidence that with the X Factor now bereft of Jedward and the I’m A Celebrity jungle rid of Katie Price, Strictly Come Dancing pro-celebrity hoofer Ricky Whittle gets arrested? thatl;s R.I.C.K…
Yesterday, Dancing judge Alesha Dixon was turned away from a club. It was front-page news. Now Whittle is pinched on suspicion of assault. The Celebrity Police Force knows a star when the spot one, and they tell us:
“A 29-year-old man from Billinge, Lancashire, has been arrested on suspicion of assault. He remains in custody where he will be questioned by officers later today.
“The arrest follows an incident in which took place in Duke Street, Liverpool City Centre, in the early hours of Friday morning. The incident involved a collision with a male pedestrian.”
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Posted: 27th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Olly Murs Loses His Virginity Like Michael Jackson And Feels For Stacey Solomon
IN this week’s heat magazine, you can meet the “REAL OLLY MURS”. Well, not really. You can meet X Factor contestant Olly Murs’ twin bother, Ben Murs.
Had Ben and Olly teamed up sing as a double act on the X Factor they’d have been Bolly. Ben would have got the first letter but Olly would have seen his entire name used in band’s tabloid name. Like Edward, of Jedward, Olly would have been the substance.
Ben tells us that Olly was “very sweet”, “placid”, “shy” and “caring”. He “didn’t lose his virginity until he was 18”.
Caring Ben than says that his brother is – get this – “very private”, was “devastated” when his girlfriend and he parted. And then we get the best part about how Ben and Olly are different:
“I was thinking that the other day. You know, like Michael Jackson used to be very different off screen, but when he was on stage it was like, ‘I’m here. This is what I can do.’ Olly’s exactly like that.”
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X Factor: Jedward To Sing Official Conservative Party Song
X FACTOR: Jedward have X-ited the X Factor and have re-emerged into mainstream society. Before the magazines are full of Jedward and inside tips on how they gel their hair and gargle air freshener, the news media reports:
Today’s Front Pages
AT LAST – DEADWOOD – Daily Mirror
JEDWARD DEADWOOD – The Sun
“John & Edward Are Out – Keep the cheering down” – Daily Mail
“Twins get boot now for loot” – Daily Star
The Threat
“We want to make a record and do all the things we have dreamed of.”
Get Get them Out Of Your Head
Danyl Johnson added: “We knew all the words to their songs by Tuesday each week because they were always singing round the house so much. They were great.”
Nothing annoying about that.
Politics
The Conservatives have jumped on Jedward’s X-Factor axing to take a swipe at Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling.
How pathetic. The Labour Party won’t even respond:
A Labour Party spokesman said of the Tory poster: “We did this two weeks ago.
“This shows once again how Labour is leading the way in digital campaigning and the Tories are left scrabbling around playing catch up.”
Is that the saddest thing you have ever read?
Look out for John singing the official Conservative Party anthem and Edward doing it for Labour. Place your votes. Vote now and vote often.
Louis Walsh Is Off His Head
“I put my head on the block and took a chance, but I’d rather do that than be boring. They have the X Factor.”
Why not be both – boring and bang on about the X Factor?
The big question: with Jedward gone how long before Jedward are back on the front pages?
Posted: 23rd, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Jedward, John & Edward Grimes, Are Voted Out At Last
X Factor: Jedward, John & Edward, Are Voted Out. They are booed by the crowd.
The X Factor loses another warbling wannabe. And it’s Jedward.
The Duracell Gonks are in the sing off with Olly Murs, the man with a name like a contagion. They are toast. They are on their way to becoming a footnote in a TV history, a pub quiz question.
Jedward are two untalented, precocious, hard to like, over-exposed singing gonks who are part of a sick TV experiment to see what point Simon Cowell’s powers of deception wane and the masses rub their eyes and realise they are being served up crap.
C owell and Louis Walsh are like Mortimer and Randolph Duke in Trading Places, playing with people for entertainmnt.
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Posted: 22nd, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)
X Factor: Using Susan Boyle To Cast Jedward As Victims
SUSAN Boyle is to sing a live pre-recorded song on the X Factor, and in readiness he has brushed up alongside Jedward, the Duracell Gonk act that we’re calling Jeadful.
Can some of Susan Boyle trademark victim status helps Jedward win the vote? The Mail gives us:
Susan Boyle has been giving advice to X Factor twins John and Edward Grimes to help them to deal with the abuse they are getting.
They should tell people to “f*** off”? A source explains:
“People have said John and Edward are like a freak show, which is what they were saying about Susan.”
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Posted: 22nd, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
X Factor Live: Jedward Do Jive Bunny, Olly Murs Is The Man And Danyl Johnson Is Careless
X Factor Live Blog: It’s Wham! Week. John and Edward, Danyl Johnson, Stacey Solomon, Jedward, Joe McElderry, Lloyd Daniels and contagious Olly Murs?
1. Lloyd Daniels – You’ve Got To Have Faith.
Lloyd needs faith because he doesn’t have a prayer of winning. Should have sung Wake Me Up Before You GoGo. A does of self-depracating humour might have saved him.
Damned by hard to like Louis Walsh: “I love everything except he voice Lloyd, I think you’re a real little pop star though.”
2. Stacey Solomon – I Can’t Make You Love Me
Is she getting blonder?
X Factor: Stacey Solomon Look Alike Gallery. She’s through to next week’s show.
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Posted: 21st, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
