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Posts Tagged ‘jesus’

Jesus Saves: Virgin Mary Opens Bank

jesus-savesAT the Shrine Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes near Emmitsburg, Mount St. Mary’s University, a woman is leaving her precious coin collection for safe keeping.

This is replica of the original shrine. It’s in Baltimore.

The haul of $40,000-worth of rare U.S. coins will be safe under the virgin Mary’s watchful gaze.

A gardener finds the two plastic freezer bags filled with gold and silver while raking leaves. He jumps for joy and says that it is God’s will that he is now rich. Oh, happy, happy day.

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Posted: 19th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)


Man Finds Jesus In Indian Restaurant Naan Bread

jesus-naanTHE image of Jesus has been found in a naan bread at Southampton’s Poppadom Express Indian restaurant.

Darren Farrant, a 19-year-old criminology student, all ready to tuck into his lamb rogan josh when he saw the face of Jesus staring back at him form his naan bread.

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Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Ringo Starr Appears In A Water Drop, Jesus Unimpressed

ringo-starrs-faceRESEARCHERS at Duke University, North Carolina, have spotted Ringo Starr’s face into water droplets hitting a leaf.

James Dacey, a reporter for Physics World, writes:

“Bizarrely, everybody’s favourite mop-topped Liverpudlian seems to reveal himself in the high-speed photo images of water-droplets being ejected from the leaf surface.”

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Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4)


Susan Boyle Is My Transsexual Jesus

boyle-jesusSUSAN Boyle Watch: A few hundred protestors are massed outside Glasgow’s Tron Theatre, where the big show is Jesus, Queen of Heaven, featuring Christ as a transsexual woman.

Who knew that the Glasgay! festival could be controversial?

Placards are waved:

“Jesus, King of Kings, Not Queen of Heaven.”
“God: My Son Is Not A Pervert.”

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Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Holy Communion Wafer Transforms Into Jesus Christ’s Cloned Heart

waferIN Sokolka, in Catholic Poland, a shard of communion wafer has mutated into human heart tissue. At mass, the wafer tumbles into water. And it emerges as heart tissue.

The evidence is whisked off to be examined.

A Professor Maria Sobaniec-Lotowaska, of the medical university in Bialystok, says it is heart tissue.

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Posted: 30th, October 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4)


Woman Finds Jesus In Kitchen Curtains, In Pictures

jesus-drapes-1Barbara Brame, of South Carolina, was in awe and wonderment as Jesus entered her life, and her kitchen…

SOMETHING told me to look in the kitchen and I sat and I looked in the kitchen. I looked at the window, and that’s when I see this image focused on my curtain.”

So says Barbara Brame.

“That was not on there before, I know my curtain, I know my kitchen.”

And she knows Jesus, and what Jesus looks like. She might even know why Jesus chose to show himself in her kitchen drapes, but it may well be an ecumenical matter.

“At first it shocked me and then afterward I realized, God is in my home. I asked different pastors and stuff and they said, yes God is in your home.”

He moves in mysterious ways His wonders to perform. But might god be getting a bit rusty. Having made the world and heavens in six days He now can barely muster up a spooky face in a pair of kitchen curtains. Times are hard for us all.

“Maybe he’s trying to tell me something. Maybe he’s trying to tell me to go out there and save souls.”

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Posted: 10th, October 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)


Jesus’ Face Found On Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s Left Knee

7594663JESUS has been spotted on Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s left knee.

On her right knee you can just make out Michael Jackson…

Posted: 20th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Virgin Mary Seen In Tree Stump

a-member-of-the-public-touches-a-tree-stump-in-rathkeale-co-limerick-that-workmen-claim-the-image-of-the-virgin-mary-appeared-in1WITH Michael Jackson occupying the role of Jesus, Christ seekers have spotted the Virgin Mary in a tree stump in Rathkeale, Co. Limerick.

Gallery:

Posted: 9th, July 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Michael Jackson Appears In A Tree Stump Jesus

michael-jackson-in-tree-stumpMICHAEL Jackson Watch: Jackson appears in a tree stump in the City of Stockton, Ca., takinga space long held by Jesus:

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Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Jesus In Swine Flu Scare

communion-fluCATHOLIC churches banned from using wine at Communion over swine flu fears:

And in the Forums:

Yampster:

This makes a mockery of transubstantiation. Either it’s the blood of Christ or it’s wine. If it is the blood of Christ as they would have us believe, I bet it kills flu germs dead. A sort of celestial cillit bang…

Join the Forums…

Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


The Young Conservative Rappers So Jesus

THE Young Conservative rappers explain Jesus, Ayn Rand, and ANWR drilling, via Boing Boing.

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Posted: 30th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment


Family Find Jesus Living In Marmite Jar

jesus-marmiteJESUS has been in Claire Allen’s marmite. He’s been living in her Marmite jar.

Claire Allen: Waiter
Waiter: Modom
CA: What’s this Jesus doing in my Marmite?
Waiter: Waiting for some toast, modom…

Says Claire Allen’s husband, of Ystrad, Rhondda:

The kids are still eating it, but we kept the lid… Claire saw it first and called her dad to come and take a photo of it.

“When I first looked at it I wasn’t sure, but when I moved it away from me it started coming out. I thought yeah, she’s right – that’s the image of Jesus.”

Mrs Allen says her 14-year-old son Jamie also has Jesus in his Marmite:

“Straight away Jamie said ‘that looks like God’, and my other boys (Robbie, four, and Tomas, 11) even said they could see a face. People might think I’m nuts, but I like to think it’s Jesus looking out for us.

“We’ve had a tough couple of months; my mum’s been really ill and it’s comforting to think that if he is there, he’s watching over us.”

Not that you can see that much from inside a lid of Marmite, especially when it’s screwed atop a jar of the black stuff…

But hold on a mom! It might not be Jesus… It might be… Oooer! It’s… him!

Posted: 28th, May 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (5)


The BNP Is The Peta Of Politics

jesus-bnpTHE BNP is trying to appeal to the Jewish hippy demographic with a poster of Jesus Christ on the cross and a quote from John’s Gospel (John 15:20) in which Jesus says: “If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.”

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Posted: 24th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (15)


Jesus Kills A Polar Bear: Video

ANORAK’S Polar Bear Watch brings you news that Jesus would kill a polar bear. The religion of Christianity versus the religion of global warming – there can be only one winner:

Spotter: Jim Downey

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment


The Baby Preacher Will Purge The Devil

the-baby-preacherIT’S the Baby Preacher, urging the Devil and speaking in tongues.

Jesus is coming. Look busy!

What says you, Baby Preacher?

“Greet fnph shtunkfliunk”

Translation: “Buy me what I crave or feel my wrath, you ****s.”

Video:

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Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)


Jesus Twitters From The Cross

IT’S Easter and your chance to experience the Stations of the Cross as Jesus travels through New York relaying his trip via cell phone, Blackberry, iPhone.

This year, you can travel the Stations of the Cross online and be part of a worldwide audience – via cell phone, Blackberry, iPhone, or other Internet connection – for what may be the world’s first Passion Play performed through the social networking application Twitter.

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Posted: 11th, April 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment


God Will Take Them Back

ANORAK brings you the sound of Scare Story radio – God Will Take Them Back. The message is that your family and loved ones will die if you drink and smoke:

Posted: 2nd, April 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Jesus Spanks Us For Being Naughty

SOMETIMES, that’s why we get sick – because Jesus The Lord is spanking us for being naughty”…

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Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (5)


Jesus Condemns Harry Potter To Death

JESUS Camp – it exits so you know where they are. In this class, Camp Kommandant says Harry Potter is evil and must die. Agreed! Let’s get the little ****…

Let there be darkness!

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Posted: 28th, March 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Jesus Monopoly

IN Russia they play Jesus Monopoly – Go directly to jail, do no pass go(d)…

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Posted: 26th, March 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (5)


Jesus Spotted In Strip Club

THE Boobie Bungalow presents Jesus…

Spotter: Instapundit

Posted: 14th, March 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comment


And Finally, Let’s Take The Piss Out Of Jesus

JESUS is everywhere. But most often he is at the end of the news, the …and finally spot where Jesus is spotted in a pice of toast:

Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (13)


Question of the day: Would Jesus spank a child?

QUESTION of the day: Would Jesus spank a child?

If Jesus were married and had children, I think he would have spanked the children.

His own?

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Posted: 27th, February 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (22)


Virgin Mary On Ice: Jesus’s Mum Spotted In Block Of Frozen Water

LIONEL Gonzalez says the ice shaped like the Virgin Mary outside his home was also spotted by his friend, Jose Perez.

Perez stepped into his mobile home Wednesday afternoon and said, “Hey, you know you got the Virgin Mary out there!”

“Don’t be playin’ about that,” Gonzalez responded. “You don’t play about that.”

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Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comment (1)


Virgin Mary Not Wipe Clean With Pre-Op Joan Rivers

IN Chicago the messiah is born under a bridge.

No, not Barack Obama. He;s alreayd been born. a new Messaia.

An image of what believers see as the Virgin Mary has been defaced again, this time with demonic graffiti that has lingered for more than two weeks, police said early today.

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Posted: 23rd, January 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)