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Why ‘Non Nonsense’ Joey Barton never became an Arsenal player

So why did Joey Barton never get his “dream move” to Arsenal? Barton has a new book to plug and mentioning Arsenal will help it travel. The Daily Mirror picks up the story of Joey’s punctured “dream”.

In No Nonsense, Barton says he was scheduled to meet with Arsenal in 2011. It never happened because during a match between the Gunners and Newcastle, for whom Barton was playing at the time, the querulous Liverpudlian contrived to get  Arsenal’s Gervinho sent off.

“No, intermediaries spoke on their [Arsenal’s] behalf,” says Barton to Four Four Two. “There was definitely some low-level interest, and before I got sent off against Arsenal, when the thing with Gervinho happened, I was due to hold some form of discussions with them. But then it never came to be.”

The “thing” that happened with Gervinho went like this, as the Mirror reported:

The Scouser ensured that Gervinhos Arsenals debut ended with a red card, first by provoking a fight with the Ivory Coast forward, then by giving his best impression of a sack of spuds when the new boy aimed a slap at him.

Barton’s behaviour had been “disgraceful”.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger opined: “He wasn’t hit hard enough to lie on the floor for two minutes.”

So much for being a man who takes ‘No Nonsense’.

Still, at least Barton never tried to exact revenge on Gervinho as he had on Xabi Alonso, who prevented his “dream move” to Liverpool.


Posted: 18th, January 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Liverpool balls: ‘pyschotic coward’ Joey Barton, Xabi Alsono and the red mist

Liverpool fans will be gutted. They could have had Joey Barton and not Xabi Alonso in the side. Alsono is a terrific player. Barton has long been underrated as a result of a querulous attitude and pugnacious demeanour. This week he has been banned by his current club Glasgow Rangers following a training ground altercation with Andy Halliday, his team-mate.

He is also plugging his new autobiography. In it he notes, “My behaviour was occasionally psychotic.” And ridiculous.

Talking about his red card in Newcastle United’s 3-0 defeat to Liverpool in 2009, Barton writes in his new book:

“Had things panned out differently, I could have made the obsessive debate about the mutual suitability of the Gerrard-Lampard axis redundant. From what I gathered, Steven Gerrard agitated to get Liverpool to sign me in 2004, because he felt we had the potential to forge a partnership.

“I met with Gerard Houllier at Melwood, and agreed everything verbally. A deal was close to being concluded but then he was sacked that summer. It was never revived.”

Fast forward to the match. Liverpool have Xabi Alonso in midfield:

“Xabi and I had history. He blamed me for knocking him out in what he thought was a deliberate clash of heads in one of our earliest contests, and I blamed him for stealing my move to Liverpool.”

Which he didn’t.

“All that remained to be agreed with [Manchester] City was the fee, when Rafa Benitez took over from Gerard Houllier. I was in Dubai when I was informed that he had instead decided to sign a kid from Real Sociedad who had just broken into the Spanish national team.”

A kid? Alonso was 22.

“…(In 2009) Thirteen minutes remained. Liverpool were two up, cruising and playing keep ball. The Kop conducted an incessant, infuriating chant of ‘Ole, ole, ole!’ Xabi retained the ball near the corner flag fractionally longer than was prudent. That gave me the opportunity to fly in, and disguise my malicious intent as best as I could. Alonso milked the moment with a barrel roll. I expected a yellow and was shown a red.”

You can read more of this sort of thing in Barton’s book, No Nonsense, including how in the aftermath of this foul, Alan Shearer, Newcastle’s interim manager, called Barton a “f***ing coward” and when Iain Dowie, Shearer’s assistant, stepped in to prevent things from getting out of hand, Barton quipped: “You keep it shut, boxing-glove head.”

You might not like Barton, but he is entertaining.

Posted: 21st, September 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Media training be damned: Joey Barton entertains the trolls

Thrashed 5-1 by Glasgow Celtic in the Old Firm match, Glasgow Rangers wanted to regroup. So the club’s “marquee signing” (source: BBC) Joey Barton thought it an idea to  engage in “some sharp disagreement” with team-mate Andy Halliday.

“Some of the things I said were inappropriate and for that I apologise unreservedly,” Barton, 34, tweeted.

Nonetheless, his manager, Mark Warburton, thought it best for Barton to stay away from training until Monday.

You might think Barton should not say any more, go off an fight in a Nando’s, text pictures of his bellend to aspiring models or engage in some other sad hobby mainstream media trolls thinks all footballers do when away from the pitch. But he can’t help himself. He talks. Having apologised unreservedly, he then reserved the right to review his apology:

“I regret what happened and on Monday I will report for training and I will do what it takes to help the team draw a line under it so that we can get back to the task at hand.”

Draw a line. Move on. Not quite. On he went, adding a sympathetic backstory to his unreserved apology:

“I cannot, however, apologise for caring deeply about winning and for wanting to perform better myself and for Rangers to do much better.”

He then added a non-denial denial:

“Apologising doesn’t always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego.”

All befitting a man who once tweeted: “In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act. George Orwell.”

We love it, don’t we. As Barton said:

“I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve dealt with them. I’ll tell you one thing I am proud of; when I’m finished I’ll be able to look back at my career and know that I was never this media-hyped ponce who was manufactured.”

Media training be damned!

Posted: 16th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Take Hart: Manchester City given lesson in ‘common human decency’ by Joey Baton

When not shouting like the loon on the night bus, Joe Hart is letting in goals for England. Manchester City have seen enough, and are looking to offload the goalkeeper. The Mirror says Hart has told City teammates he will leave before the current transfer window shuts.


hart joe disgusting


On Talksport, former City player Joey Barton says City’s treatment of Hart is “disgusting”. In the pantheon of disgusting behaviour, telling an overpaid footballer prone to clangers he is no longer first choice for his club is not disgusting. It’s sport. Disgusting might be, of instance, stubbing a lit cigar into the eye of young team-mate Jamie Tandy (as Barton did in 2004, when he was on City’s books), exacting common assault and affray in Liverpool city centre (Barton was jailed for his crimes in 2008), and assaulting Ousmane Dabo during a training match row in which the other player was knocked unconscious and punched repeatedly while on the ground (yep, Barton did that).

Says Barton:

“It is not the club I left. The club I left and watch now are two totally different organisations. The club I played for wouldn’t have treated a player that has been a servant for as long as Joe has in the manner that it has. It is disgusting.

“He is a full international, somebody who, probably before City took the money, could have gone on to bigger and better things himself but stayed and wanted to be at City.

“I don’t see what he has done wrong to be treated the way he has. His attitude isn’t terrible. I don’t like this.

“It is common human decency, regardless of how good a coach you are. Why treat him like that?”

If Manchester City are taking lessons in common decency from Joey Barton, they really are in trouble.


Posted: 18th, August 2016 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Reviews, Sports | Comment

Joey Barton remade in Kew: reared in Liverpool on the oxygen of violence

joey barton philosopher twitterJoey Barton has been talking with the Times’ Matthew Syed. Billed “the baddest man in British football”, Barton is now “hardman turned philosopher”, living in London’s leafy Kew with a young family and burning desire to be a better man.

Syed journeys to Barton’s childhood home in Huyton, a few miles from the centre of Liverpool, “where violence was as much a part of his upbringing as oxygen.”

Barton, who at junior level wore the colours of Everton and Liverpool, and played professionally for Manchester City, Newcastle, Marseilles and QPR, is happy to talk.

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Posted: 1st, August 2015 | In: Reviews, Sports | Comment

Joey Barton lookalike comes to blows over the comparison


IT’S the insult that could provoke the Dalai Lama to smash your face in. The Northern Echo reports:

“A fight broke out after a man was told he looked like former Newcastle United footballer Joey Barton, a court heard. Shaun Beckwith, 21, and Maxwell McStravick, 40, both admitted using threatening behaviour after the pair came to blows outside the Tap and Spile pub, Darlington, on March 8. Magistrates hear that the fight started when Beckwith, of Northgate Lane, told McStravick, of Hundens Lane, both Darlington, that he looked like the footballing bad boy while the pair were in the pub.”

Spotter: Pies

Posted: 20th, March 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Joey Barton: Chelsea’s Eden Hazard was right to hit Charlie Morgan because he’s rich

JOEY ‘Allo Allo’ Barton is writing in the Times about Eden Harard’s kick on Swansea ballboy (he’s 17) Charlie Morgan. Like one Anorak readers, Barton blames bad technique and modern training methods of Hazard’s inability to launch Morgan into the upper tier of the Liberty Stadium. To which we would add, soft boots.

Says Barton:

Before we all get too carried away, we should think about the context of the incident and dish out retribution fair and square.

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Posted: 25th, January 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Joey Barton speaks in an hilarious French accent at Marseille interview

JOEY Barton, currently playing in Marseilles, develops a French accent. He’s gone all Steve McLaren:

Barton : “La Ligue 1 est ennuyeuse” by evidenceprod

Posted: 26th, November 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)

More hypocrisy over Joey Barton’s rise and fall among the ‘chatterati’

JOEY Barton has been sacked as Queens Park Rangers captain following his 12-match ban and £75,000 FA fine for acts of stupidity and violence on the Manchester City pitch. In the Times, Rory Smith writes:

‘He was jeered by his own fans when substituted against Liverpool, a game, in his absence, that QPR managed to win; just as they survived his recklessness at the Etihad Stadium.’

QPR lost on the final day of the season at the Etihad, when City won the Premier League title. Had Bolton Wanderers not been let down by some horrible refereeing at Stoke City, QPR would not have survived to face another season of top-flight football.

But odder than that reworking of the facts is the Times‘ football editor Tony Evans’ comment piece. In it, Evans says:

‘Joey Barton’s Twitter profile sums up his lack of awareness…the 29-year-old has laid bare the scale of his lack of self-awareness. He has attempted to use Twitter as a vehicle to restyle his image.’

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Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)

When Joey Barton met Michael Barrymore – what really happened

TABLOID Spin of The Week award goes to the Daily Star, which spotted that Michael Barrymore had tweeted QPR bad boy Joey Barton, recently in the news for behaving badly on the pitch at Manchester City. The Daily Star thundered:


Jerry Lawton told Star readers:

“Joey Barton was last night offered help tackling his demons by Michael Barrymore.”

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Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Joey Barton is summed up in a gif and a tweet

JOEY Barton is the violent and ludicrous footballer currently being sent off for QPR. Barton’s big noice on twitter. Barton’s just been sent off playing against his old club Manchester City, so his bit to spoil a brilliant afternoon. Her;s his career summed up in one tweet and a gif:




Posted: 13th, May 2012 | In: Sports | Comments (6)

Joey Barton champion free speech by calling Madonna a slapper – the misogynist martyr

HOW was Joey Barton’s week? Barton is the QPR player and self-styled role model with an active twitter account he hopes to help build the Barton legacy.  Yet to tweet from the pitch, Barton, nonetheless, offers key live observations on cultural moments. This week, Barton said of Madonna at the Super Bowl show:

“If she’s got her beaver out in a leotard at her age, I’m going to bed.”

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Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Sports | Comments (2)

Joey Barton continues legacy of Alexander Graham Bell and Oliver Cromwell

JOEY Barton, the QPR player more famous for what he does off the pitch than on it, is writing for the Times. Barton has bult up big following on twitter by way of his barbed tweets and insights into his mind and reading matter.

This is Joey Barton who said:

“I’m not just Joey Barton, the kid from Huyton who plays football for Manchester City and can do what he wants when he steps off the pitch. I have to take responsibility because I’m a role model for kids. And kids will look at that and think, ‘ If he can do that kind of thing, so can I.’”

Barton once stubbed a lit cigar into the eye of Jamie Tandy, a reserve at Manchester City. Barton beat up Ousmane Dabo on the City training ground, punching his victim as lay bloody and barely conscious. No violent trend in following the role model’s antics ensued. It turned out that people were not so easily influenced by Joey Barton, after all.

He was jailed for six months on May 20 for assault and affray. Did anyone beat up a man in the street because Joey Barton had? Barton attacked a 16-year-old, breaking the youngsters teeth. Did anyone do a Joey?

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Posted: 31st, January 2012 | In: Sports | Comment

Newcastle United Boss Takes Moral High Ground By Standing On Gary Speed’s Coffin: Joey Barton Tweets

HOW much worse can the PR get at Newcastle United? Derek Llambias has a go at making the club look bad.

Joey Barton has made a dickish comment about his former club:

“Myself, Kevin Nolan, Alan Smith, Steve Harper and Andy Carroll – probably the bigger-name players at the time – advised the playing staff not to sign the bonus sheet and that filtered back to boardroom level. It’s no coincidence that I got sold – well, given away – Andy Carroll was sold, Kevin Nolan was sold, Steve Harper – a fantastic servant for the football club – has been forced to go on loan and maybe his position has become untenable.”

That would be Andy Carroll, a players sold for a well over the odds £35m, ageing Nolan and a reserve ‘keeper? Barton then goes on twitter to say of Newcastle’s managing director Derek Llambias:

“If he’s worried now, him and his fat mate should be ******** it, if I decide to write a book. There’ll be no holding back on those 2 muppets.”

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Posted: 1st, December 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Should Joey Barton Shut Up? Of Course Not You Dithering Borebag

FOOTBALLERS, regrettably, are simultaneously the most exciting and dull people on Earth. They can go from scoring the most sublime bicycle kick from 25 yards out, to delivering the most insultingly tedious post-match interview in the space of 10 minutes.

It doesn’t matter what sporting genius a player delivers during a game because you know damn well what’s coming: ‘Yeah, um, it was great to score but the three points is the main thing. The lads played brilliantly out there today’.

This is why we cherish the likes of Gordon Strachan and Ian Holloway because, sadly, football breeds a type of human who is both required to show ‘passion’ on the field, but an appalling absence of it when away from it.

And so, we come to Joey Barton who, by default, is just about the only footballer of interest in England currently. His twitter feed is often an accidentally hilarious read as he furrows his little sporting brow over lyrics of The Smiths and tries to pass off his visits to museums and art-galleries like it’s second nature to him.

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Posted: 18th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comment

QPR’s Kindly Joey Barton Orders His PA To Throw Away His Childish Cars And Watches

JOEY Barton, formerly of Newscastle United now of QPR, is talking to The People:

“Obviously I conformed to the footballer thing before, otherwise I wouldn’t have bought a £100,000 car. But you change as you get older. I’m 29. I’m not a young footballer any more. You grow up and see things in a very different way. I thought it was so wrong that I had a collection of designer watches worth hundreds of thousands. People are struggling to put food on the table and there I am with flash watches and cars.


I told my PA to get rid of them.”

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Posted: 22nd, September 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (7)

Joey Barton From Newcastle To QPR Is A No Brainer

JOEY Barton is heading to London to play for Queens Park Rangers. He’s an honest kind of guy. Here’s Joey earlier this year:

“As far as I’m concerned, unless someone comes in and can offer me the opportunity to play at the next level, which is obviously the Champions League, then for me it’s a no-brainer. I won’t be leaving the football club and I’m looking forward to going back pre-season.”

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Posted: 25th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comment

Fulham’s Philippe Senderos Says Newcastle’s Joey Barton ‘Comes In Footballers’ Faces’ (Video)

PHILIPPE Senderos (formerly of Arsenal and Everton, now with Fulham) is on ESPN’s Talk of the Terrace. He’s talking about tumbling Joey Barton:

“I think with Joey Barton you know what to expect. He’s going to come strong in the tackle and he’s gonna come in your face.”

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Posted: 23rd, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comment

Raton The Bull Kills Three: Newcastle United Allow Joey Barton To Smoke Cigars During Matches

RATON the bull has now killed three men in Spain. The Guardian reports that death is good for business. It’s bullish (geddit?!)

Because of the animal’s reputation, his owners reportedly earn €10,000 (£8,750) each time it appears at a festival.

“He’s the one that gets the highest prices,” owner Gregorio de Jesus said of Raton. “But still he works out the cheapest because wherever he goes organizers double the ticket price.”

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Posted: 15th, August 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment

How A Former Police Marksman Unforgivably Missed Newcastle United’s Joey Barton

JOEY Barton fact of the Day: . That too was missed by the officials. And that’s odd because the fourth official at Saturday Premier League match was Nigel Miller. He’s an ex-copper and trained police marksman. Maybe he can’t be bothered to watch BArton play football – it being too reminiscent of his old job…


Picture 1 of 17

Joey Barton, Newcastle United

Posted: 15th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comment

Joey Barton Offers The Greatest Explanation For Diving Ever

JOEY Barton, the fragrant Newcastle United player, explains why he hit the deck like a fitting toddler in a supermarket after he was tapped in his face by Arsenal’s Gervinho:

“Hate CHEATS that dive…

“I was merely highlighting he struck me.”

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Posted: 14th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Joey Barton’s Dive In Photos: Newcastle United Genius Shocked By Arsenal’s Man’s Gentle Caress

JOEY Barton wants to assure the people of Newcastle that training alone has not dented his ability to be disliked, or as managers put it “get in people’s faces”. Rumours are that he’s been grabbing himself by the throat and contorting his face in rage at himself. He has called himself, allegedly, all manner of revolting names. An expert tell us that he was only days away from stabbing a cigar out on his own eyeball.

In the closed season, Barton has been picking fights on Twitter. But verbal attacks can only go so far and until a social network grabs the nettle of virtual reality thuggery Barton will still need a football pitch and maybe a ball as props.

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Posted: 13th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Chris Lewis Presents Britain’s Jailed Sportsmen

chris-lewisFORMER England cricketer Chris Lewis has been found guilty of smuggling cocaine into Britain, having carried the drug inside his cricket bag on a flight to the UK from St Lucia.

Croydon Crown Court heard that Lewis had on him cans of fruit and vegetable juice containing dissolved cocaine with a street value of more than £140,000.

In hindsight, such capers always seem foolish: the recognisable face walking through customs will not be stopped by an official looking to experience the thrill of meeting a celebrity; and on his person he carries the exotica of canned vegetable juice.

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Posted: 20th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Alan Shearer Saves Newcastle From Joey Barton

joey-barton1ON Joey Barton – from the Forums:

This falls into the “I damn well told told you so” category. I said the violent Joey Barton was an out’n’out uncontrollable tosser and would be the downfall to the good reputation of any Premier (or Pub league side) stupid enough to select him.

This from tonight’s Evening News in a windswept Manchester:

FORMER Manchester Blues ace Joey Barton has been suspended from Newcastle FC until further notice.

The controversial 26-year-old from Huyton, Merseyside, who was sent off for a reckless challenge on Liverpool’s Xabi Alonso on Sunday – which cost him a three-match ban and ended his season – has been told to stay away as Alan Shearer attempts to save the club from relegation.

A club statement said: “Newcastle United can confirm that Joey Barton has been suspended from the club until further notice.”

Make that for good Alan…for the sake of the game. Scrap him.

More in the Forums…

Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (2)

Joey Barton can read!

FOOTBALL bad boy Joey Barton received a £61.20 penalty fare after being caught without a ticket on a train journey from King’s Cross to Cambridge.

How much does Barton earn? Something like £50,000 a week, we reckon. And despite the size of his bank balance, he resorts to fare dodging? Classy.

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Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (10)