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Is Jonathan Ross’s Halloween Party The Best Do In London? Photos

IS Jonathan Ross’s Halloween Party the best one in London? Did you go to his house in Hampstead, north London and extort sweets with menaces? Meanwhile, next door, they were braving scary issues like teen suicide, unwanted children and extreme violence by watching EastEnders. Scary stuff. Photos:

Halloween Rave Photos: What Really Happened When Police ‘Stormed’ London Party
Halloween Costumes To Offend And Sicken In Photos


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Jonathan Ross, as a devil, (back centre) meets trick or treaters outside his house in Hampstead, north London.

Posted: 1st, November 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

David Walliams Marries Lara Stone: In Photos

DAVID Walliams has married leggy Dutch model Lara Stone at Claridge’s Hotel in central London. Stone, 26, sported a £30,000 Ricardo Tisci of Givenchy dress. Walliams, 38, wore a suit. Guests wore smiles. Hello! And OK! wore a look of frustration – no showbiz mag sale here, folks. Also there: Matt Lucas, Robin Dashwood, Natalie Imbruglia, Alan Carr, Denise van Outen, Lee Mead, David Baddiel, Barbara Windsor, Jonathan Ross, Ronnie Corbett, James Corden, Jimmy Carr, Steve Coogan and Dale Winton. Forget the snark – this was a good do. Anorak has never been  fan of the tedious Little Britain, a flaccid bunch of gags dressed up in puke. But Walliams remains likeable.


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David Walliams and his new wife Lara Stone leave Claridge's Hotel in central London following their wedding.

Posted: 16th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Non PC David Cameron’s Apple Mac And Darts With Samantha

SAMANTHA Cameron is on the Webcameron, David Cameron’s video blog. At Sam & Dave’s house we can see that Dave has an Apple Mac. He really is non-PC Gene Hunt.

And Sam is… Well, Sam is Andy Fordham, the dartist (spotted by the Sun’s Ally Ross). She also speaks with a rhotacism, mirroring that ‘classless’ pronunciation of Jonathan Ross and David Bellamy. Darts and the common voice. Samantha Cameron might yet win the election for Dave – so long as ditches that Apple Mac…

Posted: 6th, April 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)

In Pictures: Katie Price, Alex Reid And Other Funny People At The Channel 4 Comedy Gala For Doggers

KATIE Price and Mr Toffee Crisp, Alex Reid went along to the Channel 4 Comedy Gala, in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital, at the O2 Arena. Comedy and charity.

One so compromises the other. Comedy for good causes is to hideously unfunny. Comedy for terrible causes is better. A fundraiser for doggers or The Royals. Pictures:


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Katie Price, backstage at the Channel 4 Comedy Gala, in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital, at the O2 Arena, London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Tuesday March 30, 2010. Photo credit should read: Ian Nicholson/PA Wire

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Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (15)

Jonathan Ross’s Turf Comic Book: Preview Pictures

JONATHAN Ross is now a comic book writer. Any jokes? Well, no. Turf, by Jonathan Ross and Tommy Lee Edwards, is set in 21st Century Hampstead, where a man with time on his hands want to prove that he can live without the BBC. No, it’s set in 1920s Chicago, home to organised crime and vampires and aliens and… Have a look:

Spotter: Bleeding Cool

Posted: 26th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jane Goldman Gets Her Harold And Maude Car: Daily Mail Bashes Jonathan Ross

THE Daily Mail spots Jonathan Ross’s wife Jane Goldmans’ news car: a “rare Jaguar XK8 that looks like a hearse”.

Still, why let any research get in the way of a chance to bash Ross?

Ross was already out of favour with BBC Trust chiefs over the Sachsgate scandal in 2008, in which he broadcast lewd phone calls he and comic Russell Brand made to Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs.


Posted: 21st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

In Pictures: Jonathan Ross’s Career (Paul Ross Lives)

GOODBYE Jonathan Ross. The talk is that you are heading off to cwack Amewika. Grandpas beware. Poofs, as you were. But rests assured that the Ross family showbiz legacy will linger on in the UK. Paul Ross stays!!! Here is Jonathan Ross’s career so far:


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Jonathan Ross and his wife Jane attend the premiere of "Face Off" at BAFTA Piccadilly, London.

Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price Swings On Jonathan Ross

jonathan-ross-jordanJODHPURS off to Katie Price for securing a warm seat BBC1’s Jonathan Ross show to speak about her split with husband Peter Andre.

Before Katie and Peter split their marriage was on TV’s outer reaches, sandwiched like a slive of processed cheese and soft pickle between ITV’s output of ads for ITV2 and more ads for ITV2.

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Posted: 24th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Jonathan Ross Linked To Pig Flu

swine-flu-daily-mail1ALL papers bar one lead with news that flu-infected pigs- swine – are out to get us.

No, not those pigs – these are real pigs, with porcine noses and trotters going “Wee! Wee! Wee!” all the way to the abattoir.

Some may look like Jonathan Ross.

As ever, a time of crisis is a time for Tablid Bingo, the newspapers game to see who can raise the body count the highests:

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Posted: 27th, April 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (12)

Talking Dirty Makes You Impotent

talking-dirty-makes-you-impotentGENNADY Cheurin of the Russian town of Yekaterinburg, research manager of the Center of Ecological Safety, says talking dirty leads to impotence.

Says he:

“Men were allowed to use these words only 16 days a year. Afterwards, it was strictly prohibited to use them. So whenever men use these sacred words for no reason in their daily life, this immediately leads to sexual dysfunctions, i.e. impotence. If a woman uses these words in her daily speech, she slowly begins transforming into a man.”

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Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Madeleine McCann, Russell Brand And Decapitated Cyclists

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann, starring Matthew Parris, headless cyclists and Russell Brand.

The Guardian tells us:

A Times article about decapitating cyclists was the most complained about last year to industry watchdog, the Press Complaints Commission, receiving a record number of complaints about British newspapers and magazines.

Hats off to that story, and take care to untie the chinstrap first, readers.

The PCC, publishing its annual report today, said it received 4,698 complaints overall last year, a rise of 8% on 2007.

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Posted: 19th, March 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (12)

Jonathan Ross Calls His Mum

IN “ROSS lashed by mum in phone row”, Paul Ross, brother to Jonathan Ross, tells us of a conversation between Jonathan Ross and Jonathan Ross’s mum, Mrs Ross.

This Paul Ross, he says Mrs Ross puts the phone down on Jonathan Ross. Paul Ross says this was because Mrs Ross she was disgusted with her son – not Paul Ross, you blithering idiot, Jonathan Ross.

The conversation might ahve gone something like this:

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Posted: 10th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Carol Thatcher Follows Jonathan Ross Out As BBC Purges Speech Impediments

THATCHER. Thatcher. Thatcher. Out! Out! Out! It’s Carol Thatcher being ousted from the BBC for using the world golliwog in a non-ironical fashion.

Carol, better known as Cawol, follows Jonathan Ross (Woss) down the BBC rubbish chute.

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Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism, Reviews | Comments (17)

Jonathan Ross Is Well-Hung, Badly Drawn And Three-Quartered

JONATHAN Ross – “Smug Ross” – has been “hit by 25% pay cut”.

Or, to paraphrase the man: “His wages have been circumcised.”

Ross is quarter less the man he as, reports the Mail. He is 25% less funny (is that possible, Mail readers?), 25% less likeable (???) and there are 25% less reasons to lament his BBC wage (!).

And he will now shag (fag packet out; pencil nib licked….) 60-year-olds on garden swings (!o!).

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Posted: 29th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Jonathan Ross Gives 80 Year Old Women Hope, Brand Works On Average

IF JONATHAN Ross wants to have sex with 80-year-old women then that is his right. So argue many Anorak readers who wake up this morning with a new skip in the Zimmer.

The NOTW says:

The mega-bucks star’s crude joke about sex with an 80-year-old woman infuriated listeners.

If the News of the Screws calls it crude it must be revolting. NOTW readers have no need to imagine how disgusting Ross penetrating an octogenarian sounds as the papers sound effects team have created an MP3 version with the aid of custard cream biscuits, a sink plunger and the Coronation Street intro.

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Posted: 25th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Madeleine McCann: Slumdog Millionaire, Gaza, Tories And Demons

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann featuring: Slumdog Millionaire, Gaza, the Conservative Party and Demons

DAILY HERALD: “We can’t gloss over the brutal abuse of children”

Colette Douglas Home has been to the cinema to see Slumdog Millionaire with her daughter.

Her daughter turns to her:

“Weren’t you upset by the child abuse,” she asked. That’s when I remembered the child abuse; and that’s why I’m feeling uneasy about my initial reaction to the film as well as its Golden Globe success.

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Posted: 13th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (51)

Smoke Au Paul Revoir On Baggy Jonathan Ross And Tom Cruise

BY now you and Tom Cruise will be wondering what Jonathan Ross has been up to.

The Star says Ross has been writing comic books, adding, “It’s a lot harder than I thought.”

At which point a man standing to Ross’s side wet himself – literally – as he laughed hard and when Ross looked over, harder still.

In the Mail, Ross has been wearing a tracksuit. Paul Revoir asks:

Where’s your pwide gone Wossy…? Chat show host goes out and about in a drab tracksuit… Puffy-eyed, and a touch wan, it was only the cigar clenched between his teeth that gave a clue to his celebrity status.

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Posted: 9th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Russell Brand And Jonathan Ross Write As Paul Revoir

HAVING lamented Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand’s priapic assault on Andrew Sachs, the Mail spots another comic actor of yesterday on his way to the shops.

Paul Revoir writes under the headline: “Old Man About The House: Frail 70s heart-throb Richard O’Sullivan looks unrecognisable”:

Only he isn’t. Revoir recognises him in an instant:

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Posted: 7th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Barnado’s Gash In On Shock And Sensation

MANY complaints – 500! – about the Barnados advert depicting an abused girl spiralling into heroin addiction.

A smack on the head leads to smack in the veins.

It’s a simple message that can only benefit from Jonathan Ross saying how the victim is well fit and needs bending over a swing to be squired by Russell Brand.

Message to Barnados: If you want to shock, leave it to the experts.

And what of the girl in the film? Well, prepare to geel much smuyapthy for her as she is revaled as one…Elly…Gash.

Says Elly Gash:

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Posted: 11th, December 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

The Responsible Jonathan Ross


Reading Jay Hunt, the Controller of BBC1, describe Jonathan Ross as “responsible” made me think that the BBC hierarchy are like the Bourbons in that they learn nothing and forget nothing.

Biased BBC

Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)

Making The Brand: SS Georgina Baillie

HAD only Andrew Sachs just been in when Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross called?

Had only Sachs not been taking his granddaughter out to the shops for a packet of sweets, some new school shoes or a push on the swings, Ross and Brand would still be employed at the BBC.

Has Sachs got a mobile, sorry, a pocket phone? If so, can he leave his contact details with the BBC switch or work out how divert calls?

Brand and Ross’s call and grandpa’s technophobia have all been a terrible inconvenience to Ms Georgina Baillie, who is forced to put her equestrianism on hold and answer questions on her once private life in OK!.

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Posted: 5th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Journalists Paid By Number Of Paris Hilton Mentions

ARE newspapers to pay journalists by the number of comments their words receive on the web?

PETER Wilby, writing in the Guardian, considers the state of British newspapers in light of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross’s telethon:

Even the Mail – perhaps reluctant to go overboard on a story broken by a Sunday in the same house – didn’t make it the splash, though it ran a front-page picture of Brand and inside, Melanie Phillips gave her usual imitation of a Victorian dowager who has overdosed on laudanum.

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Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment

Madeleine McCann: Without A Trace Newspapers Fight For Maddie

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

FIREFOX NEWS: “Review — Without a Trace : Rise And Fall”

But no sooner have the team started looking for her than a little girl disappears from a shopping mall in New York. Her name is Maddie and right away, I thought “they’re not comparing this to the Madeline McCann kidnapping case in Portugal are they?”

Maybe. Or maybe it’s really her?

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Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (55)

Daily Mail Bloggers For Russell Brand

ALLISON Pearson is discusing how offended she is by Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross in the Daily Mail. Having transcribed the phone calls, Pearson notes:

 A bewildered, icily polite Gwyneth Paltrow, who had just survived the rigours of natural childbirth, had to put up with Ross asking if she planned to have sex again soon…

She survived child birth. Her three doctors can stand down. And Palttow survived sitting on a sofa. What a gal! 

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Posted: 1st, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (5)

Jonathan Ross Telethon: BBC Talent Donates Salary To Good Causes

NEWS that Jonathan Ross is to forgo £1.5milion pay is good news for Spanish waiters, and great news for the economy as a whole.

Ross, a BBC employee and civil servant, realised the state of the Government coffers and offered to self-tax.

Ross knew that Gordon Brown would not fail to be turned on by his celebrity debate. Brown duly calls for Ross’s head. Ross has to go. And Melton Mowbray gets a new community centre.

Bravo for Jonathan Ross, who is rightly lauded on every one of the nation’s front pages.

More like him, says Anorak.

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Posted: 31st, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (14)