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Posts Tagged ‘Jordan’

Katie Price Heads To America For Breast Surgery

katie-price-thumb-nipplesWHAT with the surgery, the three children and the nickname, Jordan, aka Katie Price, is the Queen of Pap to Michael Jackson’s King of Pop.

Can Katie Price be the tabloids’ new favourite freak show?

In this week’s Closer magazine, readers are met with:

DEFIANT JORDAN SCREAMS: ‘I’LL DESTROY YOU PETE!’

And in the process:

“Plots £21k body overhaul to spite him.”

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Posted: 30th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Katie Price’s Boyfriend Talks Sex With Jordan

katie-price-newsPETER Andre and Jordan Watch: Katie Price missies Harvey’s sports day and her fella confessses…

WITH Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett now dead, Katie Price and Peter Andre move one step up the celebrity ladder. It might have been better news, but Harrison Ford and Jeff Goldblum aer just resting.

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As Katie Price Twittered: “Ooooh my god sooo shocked rest in peace mj you were the KING OF POP a total legend xxxxxxxxxxx.”

Amen to that.

Beep! An alert coming in – Katie Price is feeling “out of sports”.

Daily Mail: “Bad sport: Jordan pulls out of Harvey’s school event over fears of facing other parents”

She’s rarely one to deny herself a moment in the spotlight, but Katie Price was a no-show yesterday at eldest son Harvey’s sports day. The glamour model pulled out of the school event at the last minute amid fears that the other parents would be critical over her recent separation from husband Peter Andre.

Katie, 31, who works under the stage name Jordan, is believed to have been en route to her disabled son’s school in Kent, but ‘bottled it’ halfway, according to a friend.

Run Harvey! Run! No, not you! Him!

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Posted: 27th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Peter Andre Compiles Katie Price Dossier of Disgrace

jordan-andrePETER Andre and Jordan Watch: Katie Price gets the kids back and Peter Andre compiles a divorce dossier…

KATIE Price never did meet Michael Jackson, and Peter Andre never did get to sing that duet. But life moves on. There is always Iran.

KATIE PRICE, aka Jordan, said on the Twitter website: “ooooh my god sooo shocked rest in peace mj you were the KING OF POP a total legend xxxxxxxxxxx.”

Today the Sun says that Peter Andre is compiling a “dossier” on his estranged wife’s behaviour:

FURIOUS Peter Andre is compiling a divorce dossier of Jordan’s wild antics to try to get full custody of the kids. The Mysterious Girl singer is likely to cite unreasonable behaviour in the family courts against his glamour model wife following her week of wild living on the party island of Ibiza.

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Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)


Chantelle Houghton Is Paris Hilton Is Katie Price

chantelle_houghton-and-jordanCHANTELLE Houghton once worked as a Paris Hilton look-alike. Then she lassoed Katie Price’s go-it-alone Jordans to her chest and changed direction.

Now, as we reported, Chantelle has signed with Katie Price’s former agents, Can Associates, and so begins her new outing as Jilton, a Jordan Paris Hilton hybrid of neon hair and massive Jordans.

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Posted: 25th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Chantelle Houghton Signs For Jordan’s Old Agents

jordan-chantelle-houghtonHAVING strapped on Katie Price’s Jordans, glued on the off-cuts and applied the wood stain to make her impermeable to shame’s daggers, Big Brother winner emeritus Chantelle Houghton has signed for Can Associates.

And, yes, that is the same PR firm that once took care of Katie Price – and continues to manage Peter Andre.

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Posted: 24th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Katie Price Twitters Her Twat To Tiny Peter Andre

jordan-peter-andrePETER Andre and Jordan Watch: Katie Price is back in the UK, Jordan calls Pete a c*** and becomes a tiny role model…

Daily Mirror (front pages): “WARNING: THIS WOMAN IS BACK IN BRITAIN”

Can’t Katie Price be added to the list of undesirables?

The Sun: “The Twitter batter of Tiny Pete”

More than 196,000 fans have signed up to read Price’s Twitter comments. Who knew there were so many journalists – but that’s blogging for you.

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Posted: 24th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (15)


Katie Price Is Patron Of Duke’s Polo Event

katie-price-horseBY now you’ll be wondering what Katie Price has been up to. Well, it’s turns out that Jordan’s become a patron of a polo tournament, the Duke of Essex Polo Trophy, featuring a huge shiny, oversized, tin-foil cup, and a trophy.

The Essex Cup features British and Argentinean teams competing against each other in the grounds of the Gaynes Park Estate, near Epping.

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Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)


Katie Price Is Dead And Peter Andre Weeps

jordan-apKATIE Price is dead and Jordan rises from the dusty rack of the clothes at the back of the cupboard, resurrected like a zombie that thanks to lashing of silicon, collagen and wood stain will never age. She remains impervious – and impermeable – to change.

So who does the press cover this waking of the dead?

Sun (front page): “Jordan’s mum: Pete’s a cry baby”

Beside a picture of Jordan’s smiling mum, Amy, readers learn:

But Amy, 56, sneered: “He wanted this divorce, he instigated it, and he got what he wanted. So why is he upset? He’s crying. That’s normal, he’s emotional.” She added: “Katie’s fine.”

Peter Andre “normal”, says Jordan mum!

What about the Star, can it imptove the narrative?

Daily Star: “Jordan club attack terror”

Having survived a threat to be cut up by Jordan, Jessica Brown continues to track the most evil woman on the face of the Earth:

Hate-figure Jordan came under attack yesterday by a gang of drunken clubbers who screamed at her: “We love Pete!”

Given that Jordan is pictured looking like a copper-finished, fossilised version of Rachel Welch in One Million Years BC, that headline club promised much.

And the new man in her life – hunky Anthony Lowther, 28 – dressed as Tarzan to show off his bulging muscles.

The attention-seeking couple caused a storm in the Boho club – finding themselves the target of ridicule.

One girl started singing: “Who let the dogs out?” and another shouted within earshot of Jordan: “Ain’t you a bit old to be in that swimsuit, love?

Revenge is dish best served in print, with quotes gleaned from anonymous sources.

What about this news man, Andrew Lowther, he of the bulbous chests and Tango-toned skin?

Daily Mirror: “Jordan’s latest guy Anthony Lowther tells about holiday affair and hard partying”
Tom Bryant tells us:

Speaking at 4am from the BoHo club in San Antonio, 28-year-old model Anthony said: Were having great time together. I really love her, shes a very sexy girl. Everyone’s saying were boyfriend and girlfriend but were just having a bit of fun.

So the man with the excitable hair and the hairless and braless chests is not her boyfriend?

As the Sun’s glassy-eyed Alex West says:

JORDAN’S hunky new fella spoke for the first time about their holiday fling yesterday and admitted: “She’s really sexy.”

But 6ft 2in Anthony Lowther – dressed as a CAVEMAN for a wild club night out – said he found it “scary” to be described as the busty glamour girl’s boyfriend.

Over in the Mail, the mood is of deep shame and disgust:

Daily Mail:

“She needn’t have bothered with her cover-up, which was hardly suitable for a day out. The loosely crocheted shawl hid nothing from view, as attention-seeking Katie probably intended.”

See pictures of Jordan, which allow Mail readers to be disgusted in the privacy of their own loos. See pictures of Jordan everywhere.

Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)


Katie Price Erases Her Peter Andre Tattoo

katie-price-tattooKATIE Price has a Peter Andre tattoo. No, not an actual life-size tattoo of Peter Andre on her Jordans – just his name on her wrist.

Or at least she did have. The Mail says the tattoo might have been erased.

Katie Price was spotted wearing a mysterious bandage over a tattoo of estranged husband Peter Andre’s name today.

During a shopping trip in Ibiza town, the model popped into the Inkadelic tattoo parlour and left wearing a blue bandage over her wrist.

Katie, who split with the Aussie singer a month ago, had a tattoo of a the word ‘Pete‘ surrounded by hearts, a crown and the name ‘Princess’, after their one-year-old daughter.

Has the “Pete” tattoo has been removed, or reconfigured to say:

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Posted: 20th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Katie Price Threatens To Knife Daily Star Journalist

katie-price-jordan-knifeKATIE Price, aka Jordan, dressed in a tinfoil bikini and a straw cowboy hat full of holes, is illustrating the Star’s front-page screamer that she did threaten to knife a Daily Star journalist:

JORDAN’S THREAT TO KNIFE ANDRE GIRL.

It’s a story echoed by the Mirror’s front cover:

JORDAN: I’LL CUT YOU UP.

If anyone knows about being cut up it’s Jordan. Jordan won’t so much slice you as whittle you into something more like her. Scalpel! Pelican knife! Plane!

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Posted: 18th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)


Five More Reasons Why Katie Price And Peter Andre Split Up

jordan-katie-price-peterFIVE more possible reasons why Peter Andre and Katie Price split up.

Now to send us boast cards from foreign climes, they’ll need two cameras crews. It’s gonna be tough.

But why did they split up? A poll of the Anorak typing pool throws up five possibilities:

1. They never became a one-name brand

2. They ran out of sexual positions

3. It’s what Jade Goody would have wanted

4. They no longer deserved each other

5. So they can fall in love all over again, renew their wedding (for the third time) and their vows

After that, there was too much wailing and weeping to go on. But for the kids, we must…

Posted: 17th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


Peter Andre “Cheated” On Katie Price

jordan-katie-price-peterIN Closer magazine, Jordan, aka Katie Price, tells one and all that pop acorn Peter Andre “CHEATED ON ME”.

“He planned to leave me ages ago,” says Jordan. “I should have trapped him with a baby.”

Peter Andre denies the allegations. And there is talk of Jordan “unravelling” – literally. In one phone call, Jordan is said to have yelled at Pete: “You’ve used me and spat me out.”

Well, would you swallow Jordan?

In other Closer news:

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Posted: 16th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)


Jordan and Peter Andre Divorce Is Off

jordan-peter-andre-splitJORDAN and Peter Andre are not getting a divorce. “Jordan Divorce is off,” says the Star on its front page.

Who would never have guessed it? Well, OK you cynics would have. The PRs would have. But it’s a big shock to Katie and Peter who were heading into divorce court like an Oompah Loompah sat astride two giant space hoppers.

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Posted: 10th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)


Kerry Katona And Katie Price United At Last

kerry-katieIN this week’s OK! Jordan and Kerry Katona “FIGHT BACK”.

Jordan: “YOU CAN’T TAKE MY CHILDREN AWAY FROM ME.”

Kerry Katona: “’I’D KILL MYSELF IF IT WASN’T FOR MY KIDS.’”

No pressure, little Katonas, but a wrong word and mum dies.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Harvey Mummifies Katie Price In Peter Andre Divorce

harvey-priceKATIE Price is reunited with Harvey for the joy and curiosity of OK! readers.

Harvey is now the size of one of Katie’s want away Jordans, and looks every inch the bosom of his mother’s love as he seems to be wondering what she’s doing back in his house.

While mum wrestled with a white bikini (surely her conscience – Ed) in the Mall-deeves, Harvey played with the two nannies and Katie’s mum on call. Harvey was the cock that got the cream. In the split he had scored three women and a house.

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Posted: 27th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Katie Price’s Ex Lover Goes With A Bang

katie-price-tattooDAY Whatever of the Katie Price and Peter Andre divorce and news that Katie’s old flame Dane Bowers and a sex tape…

The Sun: “MY Night with Jordan: Ex-lover Dane nicked near her mansion”

Her mansion. Is that euphemism?

Huge bang at 4am as Dane stays with Jordan

JORDAN’S ex-lover Dane Bowers told cops he had been with HER — after being nicked for suspected drink-driving at 4am yesterday. Cops rushed to Jordan’s mansion after neighbours heard a “huge bang” at 4am — and found Bowers.

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Posted: 27th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Katie Price Begs Peter Andre To Come Back

peter-jordan-sexDAY 12 of the Katie Price – Peter Andre divorce mnaster class, and says Katie Price of her Peter Andre:

“I want Pete back.”

Says Katie Price in the News of the World:

“I’ll take Pete back tomorrow. I’ll drop the divorce if he gives me another chance.”

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Posted: 24th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)


Katie Price And Me: The Other Women Tell All

katie-priceWANT to know what Ulrika Jonsson thinks of Katie Price and Peter Andre – “the split that ROCKED showbiz”?

THE other story in the Katie Price – Peter Andre split is Katie & Me – a narrative featuring any number of jobbing celebrities applying to give their views on the big story.

First up is Katie’s “former love rival” Mel B, aka Scary Spice.

The ex-Spice Girl – who dated Peter 12 years ago – urged the singer not to throw his marriage away, saying: “Please take Katie back.”

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Posted: 21st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)


Other Man In Katie Price Divorce ‘Meets’ Peter Andre

katie-price-divorce2DAY Nine of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class:

The Mirror’s Derek Mcgovern says:

“The Jordan-Peter break-up has split the nation.”

Might this be war?

Half are lapping up every word of the celebrity boo-hooing; the other half can’t take their eyes off the pictures. Say what you like about Jordan, but they’re very photogenic.

Half the nation are lapping up the words; half the nation are lapping at the pictures. and the other half don’t give a sh**.

Heartbroken Peter regularly points out that his wife has two personalities. One’s the caring, kind, sweet woman called Katie, while the other is the foul-mouthed tease named Jordan.

Who cares, I say – both have great breasts.

Which you can buy at Messers Nip ‘n’ Tucks’ online shop at www.BalloonChest.com.

Elsewher in the Mirror, Clemmie Moodie is reutedmn form cyrpus to tells us about Peter and Katie’s split. No not their split from reality, as Ian Monk tells PR Week:

In their world of smoke and mirrors, who can tell if it is genuine? Quite possibly, even the sainted Peter and his wilful wife, whose shenanigans with her married dressage coach apparently caused the split, aren’t entirely certain whether it is real or reality.

As the National’s Philippa Kennedy chimes:

There’s something quite sweet about the former pop star Peter André, aka Mr Jordan, aka Mr Katie Price. He’s not the brightest shilling..

Of course, Clemmie knows real when she smells it and tells us: “Hopes dashed for amicable divorce.”

Furious Katie Price yesterday slammed the door on any hope of a reconciliation with estranged husband Peter Andre – after she banned him from their £3million mansion.

The Aussie singer found himself homeless and had to spend the night in his manager’s spare room after flying back from Cyprus following the couple’s 11-day separation.

And as their bitter bust-up rapidly worsened, sources close to Katie revealed she has told him: “I’ll see you in court.”

Of course, as we learnt yesterday, Katie Price has already chucked all Pete’s stuff out:

“He’ll be is moving his stuff out piecemeal over the next few days…”

Maybe we should ask Pete? But where is he? Says the Sun:

Peter in hiding… as Jordan jets back

Afact confirmed by the Mail:

As Peter Andre goes into hiding, Jordan’s horse hunk offers to meet him to put his mind at rest

Horse hunk? Prince Edward?

The horseman at the centre of the storm over Peter Andre and Katie Price’s marriage breakdown has offered to meet Peter to put his mind at rest over an alleged affair.

Its’…

Dressage coach Andrew Gould has angrily insisted there is ‘nothing going on‘ between him and Jordan, and wants a face-to-face meeting to clear the air.

No news.

He said: ‘All this fuss is over one drink I had with Kate.

‘I’ve had drinks with lots of my clients but because she is famous, this has been turned into something it is not.’

As the Star has it:

Dressage coach Andrew, 28, angrily insisted he was “f***ing sick” of being portrayed as “the other man” in the couple’s troubled marriage.

He claimed he would happily meet Peter, 36, for a face-to-face chat to prove there was “nothing going on” between him and Kate, 30.

Andrew fumed: “I don’t know what’s going on and I certainly wouldn’t sh*t on my own doorstep.”

“All this fuss is over one drink I had with Kate. I’ve had drinks with lots of my clients but because she is famous it is being turned into something it is not.”

What it is and what it is not seems to be a moot point in the media…

Jordan and Pete’s Divorce

Katie Price and Peter Andre Interview In Full
Katie Price Smells Worse Than Britney Spears And Jade Goody
Katie Price To Sue Newspapers Over Divorce From Peter Andre
Katie Price Is Attacked
Katie Price Reads Peter Andre’s ‘Sick’ Diary
Paris Hilton Rocks Katie Price On Peter Andre’s New Album
Katie Price Divorce Shocker: Peter Andre Back With ‘The Boys’
Exclusive Pictures: Katie Price and Peter Andre’s Secret Meeting
Katie Price and Peter Andre Divorce Exclusive: Kate Moss Shelves Book
Katie Price Turned Down By Two Men
The ‘Other Man’ In Katie Price Peter Andre Divorce Is A Woman
Katie Price “In Love With Another Man”
The Other Woman In Katie Price And Peter Andre’s Divorce Tells All
Kerry Katona And Jade Goody React To Katie Price Divorce
Katie Price And Peter Andre Divorce: Sex Tapes With Animals
The Other Man In Katie Price and Peter Andre’s Divorce Tells All
Harvey Gets The House In Katie Price And Jordan Divorce
Jordan And Peter Andre Divorce: Video
Dr Peter Andre Serenades Jordan
Jordan And Peter Andre Move House
Jordan And Peter Andre Return To The US
Jordan And Peter Andre’s Naked Publicity Stunt
Katie Price And Peter Andre See Each Other For First Time And Split
Katie Price and Peter Andre Split Exclusive: Jordan Tells All
Katie Price Splits From Agents
Katie Price And Andre Are Back Together
Katie Price Sends Secret Message To Peter Andre

Posted: 21st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)


Katie Price and Peter Andre Interview In Full

katie-price-tanIN this week’s OK!, Katie Price delivers “THE TRUTH” about “OUR SPLIT”.

The cover shot is of a woman who looks almost familiar. It turns out that this is not any number of women from US daytime soaps or a young Nolan sister but Katie Price. Her face appears changed.

Old Mr Anorak suggests the real Katie Price has gone into hiding and this is an imposter. But surely being a Katie Price impersonator is a hard job, akin to pinning down a mobile target.

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Posted: 20th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Katie Price To Sue Newspapers Over Divorce From Peter Andre

katie-price_jordanDAY Eight of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: Katie Price sues, Peter comes back and a surprise party…

Today Jordan wants OK! readers to know that he is hurting.

The Daily Mirror surmises the text of Jordan’s tan ‘n’ tell on its front page:

“I love my husband but I can’t sit around crying”

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Posted: 20th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)


Katie Price and Peter Andre Divorce Exclusive: Kate Moss Shelves Book

katie-price-sienna-miller-kate-mossSADIE Frost and Kate Moss and Katie Price and Jordan have something in common. Now read on…

Sadie Frost has installed double glazing and stuck tampons in her ears, but even she can no longer resist the public clamour for an act-’n’-tell book about her time with Jude Law. Or, as the Mirror puts it:

Sadie Frost has finally given in to pressure to write the tell-all biography we’ve all been dying to read – and promises it’ll be juicy.

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Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Katie Price Turned Down By Two Men

katie-price-divorce-titsOVER the newswires, news that Katie Price has been turned down by a Gary Farrow.

Who he? A gay barman at Club Strumpet? A horse?

No. Gary Farrow is a PR man who represents, among others, Jonathan Ross, Sir Elton John and the Osbourne family. He is said to have declined Katie’s offer to represent her.

Says he:

“We’ve spoken but I’m afraid she doesn’t really fit in with my current client base.”

Too high brow?

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Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The ‘Other Man’ In Katie Price Peter Andre Divorce Is A Woman

rebecca-loos-jordanDAY Six of the Peter Andre – Katie Price Divorce Master class: with Rebecca Loos, a gay barman and horses…

The Star leads with a picture of David Beckham sexter Rebecca Loos and he headline:

“PETER BLAMED ME FOR STEALING JORDAN.”

It’s Rebecca Loos. Is the woman who claimed to have shagged David Beckham the other “Man” that Katie Price told The Apprentice agonist Mona Lewis she loved?

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Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)


Katie Price Implicated In MPs Expenses Row

katie-price-second-homeKATIE Price was once a prospective MP. In 2001, she was on the hustings in Greater Manchester, standing for the Stretford and Urmston seat, which includes Manchester United’s Old Trafford ground.

Jordan’s battlebus – a blue convertible Vauxhall Astra – led the campaign for “For a Bigger and Betta Future”, a manifesto that included free cosmetic surgery, free season tickets and lower taxes for anyone shagging a footballer. A demographic that at the time inlcuded Jordan, who was allowing Dwight Yorke to hone his ball skills on her chests.

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Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment