The Other Man In Katie Price and Peter Andre’s Divorce Tells All

JORDAN and Peter Andre Divorce Masterclass: Day 3: Jordan’s other man.

In “JORDAN JUMPER: I DIDN’T JUMP HER”, the Sun’s Brian Flynn introduces readers to “Married Andrew Gould, 28”, the “hunky horseman”, who says sex with Jordan is “out of the equestrian” and, “We’ve never had a relationship.”

Adding:

“I’m not interested in her at all that way. There’s no reason for Pete to be jealous.”

So that’s it. Move on. Here’s the Mirror’s front page:

“I am the man who broke up Jordan’s marriage – “HORSE HUNK REVEALS ALL.”

Back in the Sun:

He pointed out his wife was among the group who joined Jordan at a Bristol club after the Badminton Horse Trials. Wife Polly, 29, said: “We’re all just friends.”

That would be his wife who was out of shot in every picture published in the press? Will all now be revealed? The wife, of whom the Star says:

The handsome dressage trainer, who has two sons with his PR executive wife Polly, 29, has stables in West Sussex near Kate’s home.

Andrew adds:

“I did say I wasn’t the guy in the club. I didn’t mind it coming out, but Kate didn’t want Pete to know I was there because of how he reacts.”

Here’s the angle – the boozy meeting in city nightclub with the most recognisable chest in showbiz was clandestine…

Andre is asked if he knew Jordan before he sat her on a horse?

“Before Kate came to my stables I never really knew anything of her. I don’t follow the celebrity world. These rumours I hear of what she was like out clubbing, and seeing pictures of her falling out of clubs — I’ve never seen that side of her.”

How the press love pictures of Jordan in clubs, eh… And right now the hacks love Andrew Gould:

The riding champ, who has posed for saucy model pics in the past, claims he drove Jordan’s hubby “Insania” with jealousy… Andrew, one of the top five riders in the country, has posted a moody David Beckham-style pose on his official website.

And the press loves Twitter. So though Jordan has “fled” to the Maldives with her children, she finds time to send the fans a message in 140 characters or less:

“Thank you for all your support. It means so much.”

How much we might find out next month when Katie and Pete are due to meet with their agent in the US…

Jordan and Pete’s PR masterclass

Harvey Gets The House In Katie Price And Jordan Divorce
Jordan And Peter Andre Divorce: Video
Dr Peter Andre Serenades Jordan
Jordan And Peter Andre Move House
Jordan And Peter Andre Return To The US
Jordan And Peter Andre’s Naked Publicity Stunt
Katie Price And Peter Andre See Each Other For First Time And Split
Katie Price and Peter Andre Split Exclusive: Jordan Tells All

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Harvey Gets The House In Katie Price And Jordan Divorce

KATIE PRICE and Peter Andre are “AT WAR”. So says the Mirror’s front page, which spots Price armed with her famous Jordan bazookas (TM) take on Peter’s Agent Orange.

Its turns out this is remote war, fought with technology over vast distances. Andre is in Cyprus with his brothers. Jordan is in the Maldives with their two youngest children.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Jordan And Peter Andre Divorce: Video

PETER ANDRE and Jordan are to divorce.

Well, that’s what the PR says, and the spokeswhores, and the press and the ITV insiders. And the Mirror:

Katie Price exclusive: See more video of Jordan drunk on night that sparked Peter Andre divorce

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Dr Peter Andre Serenades Jordan

NOW split from Katie Price and her Jordans, Peter Andre would like to be called a Doctor.

Dr Peter has penned Call Me A Doctor, a tune that puts his dream of being a man of letters into verse.

Sings Pete:

She was my girl, my closest friend, my honey,

This girl was all I ever needed,

What will I do now that I’m leaving?

It hurts bad ‘cos I was true to her,

I’m regretting having anything to do with her.

Not since Dr and The Medics took us on up to the Spirit in the Sky has a medical man put so much heart into his throat. Not since ever has an orange doctor rhymed “her” with “her” so effectively.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Jordan And Peter Andre Return To The US

JORDAN is not on the cover of OK! magazine, not even as Katie Price.

But the TV ad says the magazine is about Jordan, and inside readers turn to page, er, 128 to read “Dear Jordan”, the model’s tips of advice, sex and love.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price And Peter Andre See Each Other For First Time And Split

PETER Andre and Katie Price have separated after four years of marriage.

Says Peter:

“For the first three years I was in a different room to her. Then she had her Jordans reduced and we met eye-to-eye for the first time. It was dreadful. I had been speaking to her breasts for ages and we’d formed a real bond. But with Katie it was hard work and we never clicked.”

Anorak

Posted: 11th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (8)

Jade Goody’s Jack Tweed Is On Suicide Watch

BERFORE we get to the news that “Fragile” Jack Tweed, Mr Jade Goody, is on “suicide lag wing”, we introduce Sun scribes JAMES CLENCH and ANDY CRICK to nominative determinalism.

Clench and Crick tell us:

FRAGILE Jack Tweed has been locked in a tough jail’s secure hospital wing to protect him from hard-case lags, we can reveal. Bosses at Chelmsford Prison have put the terrified 21-year-old in a single cell alongside inmates on suicide watch amid fears he will be targeted.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)

Michael Jackson Plays Jade Goody’s Funeral

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Michaele Jackson, without Jordan and Jack’s new pad…

Daily Star: “JACKO: I’LL BE AT JADE’S FUNERAL”

Michael Jackson is set to lead a host of mourners at Jade Goody’s funeral after promising her husband Jack Tweed he will be there. Thriller singer Michael, 50, is set to make lifelong Jacko fan Jade’s dreams come true by attending the service.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Jade Goody Backs Earth Hour

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Shilpa Shetty,

Daily Star: “Jade’s Jack in kiss ‘n’ tell shock”

How long until Jack Tweed is Jack Tweed and no longer Jade’s Jack? And kiss ‘n’ tell – surely bury ‘n’ tell..?

Daily Mirror: “JORDAN: PAL JADE WAS SO INSPIRING”

Says Jordan:

“Her bravery was so inspiring. I was really sad to discover she’d passed away. I think there should be a Jade legacy set up and I’d be honoured to be involved and continue the work she did raising awareness of cervical cancer.”

Anorak

Posted: 27th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Jordan’s Last Words To Jade Goody

SAYS Jordan, aka Katie Price, aka Katie Andre, aka…:

“When I come back, the first thing I’m going to do is to go to Jade’s and say my goodbyes. I’ve had to do it before with someone else and I know it’s hard – but it’s something I want to do in private, away from the cameras.”

See Jordan arriving at the hospital, slipping pass the massed ranks of paparazzi, pass the nurse, pass the doctors, pass the agents and pass the TV cameras.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 10th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Irony Defined: Jordan Uncut

KATIE Price, now rid of her gargantuan go-it-alone Jordans, is in conversatriosn with the Daily Mirror.

It’s front-page news.

And what is the headline for the woman so plastic she is sponsored by Lego?

“JORDAN UNCUT”

She’s more moulded than carved these days…

Anorak

Posted: 8th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism | Comment

Winners And Losers In X Factor Street Names Olympics

THE silly season beings news of The New Local Government Network, a body that says councils should hold X Factor-style contests to find public place names.

Lord Nelson’s Column will have to go mano-a-mano with Beckham Arch, the renamed Marble Arch, with struts painted in the manner of Day-vid’s parted legs and two massive golden globes hanging from the rafters.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, December 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Katie Price, Jordan, Is Pregnant With Baby Number Four

KATIE Price and her Jordans are pregnant with child number 4.

Suggestions for names, please…

Anorak

Posted: 10th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (24)

Reserves Turn Out For I’m A Celebrity

ONLY a very few knew the names of all the celebrities on ITV last night.

You can blame the lack of close up of the Wags, and the fact that Ant ‘n’ Dec were wearing the same kit as the indigenous tribe, but I’m A Celebrity was a game of two halves and little drama.

Good then that the Star has edited highlights of what viewers might have missed as ITV trained its cameras on Berlin.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The PRIORY: Jordan And Kerry Katona’s AGM

JORDAN and Kerry Katona “TALK ONLY TO OK!” says OK!, which also says that when the two met “SPARKS FLY”.

Kerry and Jordan will be discussing their contributions to the Towards a Brighter Bedford campaign and the key debate on whether or not Victorian street furniture is preferable to more modern Sixties designs.

Before that, let us just say that it’s good to see Kerry and Jordan reunited. The opportunities for celebs to get together in their own arena away from outsiders and TV cameras are few and far between. Here, in OK!, thy can talk about celeby stuff in the company of friends.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jordan And Peter Andre’s Roll On Sex

FOR too long Peter Andre was unable to get close to his wife, the fragrant (tones of used adolescent tissue over base notes of horse-drawn caravan and strawberry mentos) Katie Price.

For many months pop acorn Peter nestled under Katie’s embonpoint, never seeing the sun and resorting to looking healthy with self-tanning gels that had no fear of streaking because in Pete’s world it never rained, just lightly perspired.

Then Katie went to Arm-ewika and deflated. Peter would now, finally, be able to get closer to the woman of his dreams.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)

Nicola McClean On Her Budding Jordans

DAY one in the jungle and Nicola McLean is in a bikini.

Take care Nicola, say celebrity watchers, lest she get bitten and the puncture wounds cause her to leave the camp faster than a pricked balloon.

(Note: For similar reasons, gastric band enthusiast Fern Britton should avoid playing “human catapult” and hanging around with Boy Scouts).

While Mail readers get to see “desperate” Nicola crying for attention, Star readers get to see Nicole sans bra.

Nicola is planning to undergo a third boob job, readers learn, one that should make her “massive”.

Massive is a big word in Nicola life, it is something of an ambition.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

What Have You Done With Katie Price And Her Jordans, Pete?

ON Novembr 23, Anorak will be attending an audience with Peter Andre. Then we will ask him what he has done with the brash, neon-skinned, pneumatic mass of taffeta, filler and snaggle tooth and her gargantuan Jordans:

Has she now been dipped in plastic and hidden inside this shell of a person seen in the picture? Is Pete’s curent squeeze a new kind of inflatable?

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Happy Halloween From Jordan And Peter Andre

HAPPY Halloween from Jordan and Peter Andre….

Trick or treat?

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism | Comment

Jordan and PAPA Polish Up In Love Affirmation Ceremony

AFTER the TV show, Jordan is “finally” responding to the clamour and will tell OK! readers about her marriage.

Or what there was of it. Says Jordan of her romance with pop acorn Peter Andre (PAPA): “WHY I WALKED OUT ON PETE.” She is showing readers her clean hand, and muscular naked ring finger. “It looks like I’ll be a single mum.”

Jordan gets the photo spread and the kids, and PAPA gets to wax his back, crack and sack on daytime telly.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comment (1)

Jordan Sex’s Up Horse Of The Year Show

JORDAN is at the Horse of The Year Show. She’s performing to Color Me Badd’s “I Wanna Sex U Up.

Beats riding Pete…

Via

Anorak

Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (5)