Justin Bieber Proves He's A Real Person | Anorak

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Justin Bieber Proves He’s A Real Person With More than One Orifice



JUSTIN Bieber arrested in Florida for drunk driving. This is, of course, cracking news for the 98% of people who follow his career waiting for him to crash and burn.

Bieber spent his formative showbiz years being moulded into a plasticised goody-goody, a flawless perma-child, god-touched, singing-foetus, sexless non-teen teen. He was the teenager like no other.

Bieber had no strops. Bieber had no spots. Beiber had no sexual urges. Bieber was a bigger ambulatory Ken dollette with only one orifice. And then he realised he had stacks of money and started to behave normally.

Thank god. The old Bieber was terrifying. This new one’s just a pillock. He was driving a rented Lamborghini. Oh, dear-oh-dear.


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Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment