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Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat

Karl Largefeld cat

Karl Largefeld cat

FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.

The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for letting ridiculous things fall out of his anus-shaped mouth, but bestiality might top the rest.

“I never thought I would fall in love like this with a cat,” Lagerfeld said.

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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment


Madonna chides Karl Lagerfeld over Adele comments

MADONNA is a woman who has courted controversy for gain in the past, just like a stream of celebrities have done before and since. However, she’s obviously feeling a bit sensitive at the moment, taking time about to lambast controversial fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld.

See, Karl recently said that Adele was ‘a little too fat’. Now, of course, he also said that she had a ‘divine voice’. We’re not sure which is more debatable. She is clearly ‘a little fat’ and her voice is… well… ‘often in-tune but quite often bellowed and abrasive’.

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Posted: 12th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Karl Lagerfeld points out obvious by saying Adele is a bit ‘fat’

PEOPLE in the fashion industry are obsessed with image. That’s their job. So when Karl Lagerfeld, while guest editing for Metro Paris, took it upon himself to note that Adele is a bit fat, he probably knew that womenfolk would go mental at him for being so shallow.

Of course, a good number of those women spat feathers while doused in Chanel perfume and gazing at Chanel clobber in the various image-obsessed magazines they read… but still… DON’T CALL WOMEN FAT! EVEN IF THEY ARE A BIT FAT!

Karl was asked about Lana del Rey, because she’s exactly the kind of trout-gobbed gal that will be snapped up by a fashion house for a gig, later to be snatched by H&M for a ‘celebrity range’. He said:

“I prefer Adele and Florence Welch. But as a modern singer she is not bad. The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice. Lana del Rey is not bad at all. She looks very much like a modern-time singer. In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.”

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Posted: 7th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)


In Pictures: amfAR’s Cannes’ AIDS Gala And Madonna’s Charitable Bag

TO the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS 2010 fundraiser at the Hotel Du Cap, Eden Roc, Cap D’Antibes during the Cannes Film Festival. Some charities the celebs like: Aids charities is one. But as Roger Freidman notes, it can be a case of you back my charity or I’ll scratch ours.

When Madonna appeared in Cannes two years ago at the annual AmFAR dinner, she auctioned off her handbag and generally carried on… Now I’ve learned that AmFAR donated $1 million to Madge’s Raising Malawi charity to get her there…

Or as he said in 2008:

So say what you will, Madonna’s presence was her donation to the cause.

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Naomi Campbell (right) and Vladimir Doronin (centre) arriving for the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS 2010 fundraiser at the Hotel Du Cap, Eden Roc, Cap D'Antibes during the Cannes Film Festival

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Posted: 20th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Coca Cola Brings You The Taste Of Karl Lagerfeld

THANKS to Coca-Cola Light, we now have answer to the perennial question: “What does Karl Lagerfeld taste of?”

To our minds, the Chanel designer looked like he tastes of essence of cloves over a base notes of wet rubber sheeting. But it turns out the man in the know is blend of vegetable flavourings, sugary substances, cola extract, bubbles and aluminium.

Says the bottle:

“The designer affixes his style and his famous silhouette on the bottle and delivers an exclusive creation with chic lines and also a unique box in limited edition, accompanied with a bottle-opener discreetly hidden in a drawer.”

Buy it via Colette for $60. Goes with th Karl love doll – look for it in our gallery below:

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Hitler

Posted: 19th, April 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


Kanye West Gets Sholder Pad Teeth At Karl Lagerfeld’s Dior Show: Pictures

KANYE West and Amber Rose are still in Paris for men’s fashion week. West and his claymation accessory went to see the Dior Men’s Autumn/Winter 2010/2011 collection. They met Karl Lagerfeld, who showed us his lap-cat teeth. Is bad teeth the next big thing in fashion? If it is, the UK rules and West in wearing shouder pads in his gums.

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Kanye West and Amber Rose attend Dior Men's Autumn/Winter 2010/2011 collection presented during the Paris Men's Fashion Week, in Paris, France, on January 23, 2010.

Posted: 23rd, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Karl Lagerfeld Hates The Curvy Lily Allen

karl-pillockLILY Allen just loves Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel. Lily loves it so much that she tells Grazia magazine:

“If someone had told me I’d be the face of Chanel when I was older, I’d have dropped down stone dead.”

…Like a feather, attached to a fat bird. Because here’s Karl Lagerfeld to tell us, and readers of Focus magazine:

No one wants to see curvy women. You’ve got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying thin models are ugly. Fashion is about dreams and illusions.”

Fat is about being happy and jolly. Well, it used to be. Now fat is about being depressed and prodded by skinny old men dressed as Williams II’s foot stool.

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Posted: 13th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Chris Brown Has Suspected Knuckle Concussion

chris-brownCHRIS Brown, the US singer, says he does not remember beating up Rihanna, the popstar.

His brains really must be in his fists. Brown hit Rihanna so hard his brains jogged out of alignment and gave him knuckle concussion.

But it’s not Brown’s fist doing the talking this time, it’s his mouth.

On CNN’s Larry King Live, Brown explains:

“I’m in shock because first of all that’s not who I am as a person and that’s not who I pride myself on being. When I look at the police reports, I’m like ‘wow’ – I don’t know what to think. It’s crazy to me.”

Crazy to me is to wear a bowtie with a jumper. The bowtie gives the wearer the look of a man not to be taken seriously; he should be viewed as a bit suspect.

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Posted: 31st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Karl Lagerfeld’s Credit Crunch Survival Tips

KARL Lagerfeld has a new range of clothing:

“Mr. Lagerfeld said he cut the VIP section to create ‘equality in an unfair world.'”

His minimalist clothes for Chanel were inspired by white paper, and embodied what he terms “New Modesty.” After the show, he implored everybody to “stop crying” over the slowdown.

Lagerfeld’s new range is inspired by the credit cruch, with those choppy falling graph lines ideally suited to silk and the hem of his haute couture range of evening ware and safari pyjamas.

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Posted: 3rd, February 2009 | In: Money | Comment