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Giant North Korean soldier watches Kim Jong il ascend to heaven in 1976 Lincoln

THE Giant North Korean soldier caught on camera paying his blood-teared respects to Kim Jong-il of North Korea is not a product of photoshop nor other imperialist trickery. He is in fact 5ft 6in tall Kim Jong Bow, the man North Koreans hail as The Biggest Man In The World (see Kim Jong-il Hennessy Book of Records).

Kim Jong Bow was there to see North Korea’s former leader Kim Jong-il ascend to Heaven in a 1976 Lincoln Convertible.

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Posted: 30th, December 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment

Magpies falls silent for Kim Jong il (video)

DEAR Leader Kim Jong il is dead. The rainbow has a new colour. A huge bright star shines only over North Korea. And the magpies are silent.  The magpies arrived in Unsan the day aftger Kim Jong-il died of extreme fatigue as he sat on a train being pulled by his willing countrymen.

Says a Baik Keun-shik:

“I have been living here, a coal mine village, for about 50 years, but I have never seen a thing like this.”

Ri Yon-souk agrees:

“It’s not just a strange natural phenomenon. It means our ‘Dear Leader’ was a born great man, so nature as well as all the people around the world cannot forget him, we can feel his existence in our warm heart.”

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Posted: 27th, December 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment

Kim Jong il died in bed say South Korea train spotters

DID Kim Jong il really die from “fatigue” while sat on a train? We could ask the North Koreans pushing the train. But they are inconsolable with grief. Instead we look to Won Sei Hoon, director of South Korea’s National Intelligence Service, who says Kim Jong il died in Pyongyang. If Kim Jong il was on a train, it was a non-moving one.

Mr Won told South Korea’s National Assembly Intelligence Committee on Tuesday:

“We confirmed through US satellite surveillance photos that Kim’s personal train was stationary in Pyongyang. We kept tabs on Kim’s whereabouts until Thursday but could not locate him starting Friday. There are signs that he tried to go somewhere [on Saturday] but died.”

Might it be that Kim Jong il liked to play on his train set? Or did he die in his bed? And if he did die in his bed, was anyone with him? Or are the South Koreans the ones caught with their pants down?

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Posted: 21st, December 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

Aaron Ramsay missed for Arsenal against Man City and let Kim Jong il live another day

WHEN Arsenal’s young blade Aaron Ramsay failed to connect with Robin Van Persie’s though ball, Kim Jong il sighed a little. Aaron Ramsay is the scorer of great goals that do down great leaders (surely nutters? – ed). When Ramsay scored for Arsenal against Manchester United on May 2, 2011, Osama bin Laden, a notorious Gooner, died. When Ramsay scores in Arsenal’s win over Marseilles on October 19 2011, Colonel Gaddafi (Chelsea til the end) died. So. When Arsenal were due to play Manchester City on December 18, an ailing Kim Jong il (Everton) tuned in. But Ramsay missed. Why? Well, Bin Laden and Gaddafi died by the gun. But Kim Jong il was much fatigued when he died on a train being pushed by his countrymen. Aaron Ramday considered the options and contrived to miss.

Let is never be said that Aaron Ramsay, captain of Wales, lacks compassion…


Posted: 20th, December 2011 | In: Sports | Comment

Kim Jong Il is dead: a photoshop tribute to the soul of North Korea

KIM Jong Il, leader of North Korea, is dead. Kim Jong il died from “fatigue” while riding a train. The North Koreans pulling and pushing said train are reported to be suicidal with grief. The question is how best to mark the life of man who isolated his country and let millions starve to death. The answer: photoshop. Kim Jong il, of couse , did his own fakery. But these might be better:


Posted: 19th, December 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment

Kim Jong-il dies of physical fatigue – a North Korean life in photos

RIP North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. You were a terrific puppet made flesh and bone. You were the star of Where’s Kim? You ate live fish. You were shortist:,

In preparation for the World Festival of Youth and Students in 1989, Kim Jong Il had disabled residents removed from Pyongyang. The government also distributed pamphlets advertising a wonder drug that would increase the height of short people.

How did Kim Jong-il die? North Korea’s state broadcaster says Leader No. 1 died from “physical fatigue” while traveling on a train. The North Koreans pushing the train are inconsolable with grief.

Kim’s son, the generously built Kim Jon-un (left), is unlikely to work so hard for the good of his nation’s pomade industries. But he will make a bigger target in his otter skin hat….

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Posted: 19th, December 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment (1)

South Korean Soldiers Shoot Kim Jong-il: British Squaddies Target Cliff Richard Calendar

NOW that South Korean soldiers are no longer shooting at photos of Mr Kim Jong-il, Mr Kim Il-sung and Master Kim Jong-un, what are they shooting at for practice?

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Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

Photos Of The Day – Kim Jong-Il’s Tongue Of Love


Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Photojournalism | Comment

Justin Bieber Fails To Show At Kim Jong Il’s Birthday Party

KIM Jong Il has yet to declare war on Justin Bieber for the singing foetus’s slight on his country. And No. 1 Kim is not letting it spoil his birthday. He’s got his party hat on.  He’s opening his gift.

Russian mascot Dmitri Medvedev, has sent him this message:

Respected Your Excellency Kim Jong Il,

I congratulate you on your birthday.

I believe that you would make contribution to strengthening and developing the traditional Russia-DPRK good-neighborly relations at the responsible post of chairman of the DPRK National Defence Commission in the future, too.

I wish you good health and success in your important and responsible work.

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Posted: 17th, February 2011 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)

North Korea: Students Cover Kim Jong-Il In Poo: The Crap Revolution Begins

KNOW that it is forbidden in North Korea to use “any paper, with Kim Jong-il’s picture printed on, instead of tissues”. Big trouble, then, for the scatological youth or youths at Hyesan Art School, Yanggangdo, who spread poo on a copy of ‘Brightening the Times of the Principal Agent’. The book features a likeness of Kim Jong-il on the cover. The book was “immersed” in faeces. The book was discovered by anaccordion teacher”.

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Posted: 27th, December 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)

Kim Jong-Il’s Many Names And Anti-US Propaganda Posters

NORTH Korea is not a confident country. Before a collection of North Korean propaganda posters that all the US to be bloodthirsty sadists, a look at Wikipedia’s list of all the titles Supreme Bouffant Kim Jong-il has garnered:

Superior Person
Sun of Communist Future
Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love
Beloved and Respected General
Invincible and Iron-Willed Commander
World’s Leader of The 21st century
Glorious General, Who Descended From Heaven

(Spotter: @matthiasrascher; via Kottke)


Posted: 4th, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment

In Photos: Christian Dior ‘Racist’ Posters Star Kim Jong-Il (Can You find Him?)

THESE Christian Dior adverts feature a white-faced model stood before a sea of same-faced Chinese. Dior is opening a store in Shanghai and thought it a good idea to use posters featuring white women in top quality merchandise backed by identikit locals in plastic work wear. (And Kim Jong-il.)

The message seems clear: With Dior you drones can look like a Western women.

Photographer Quentin Shih’s pictures are spreading the Christian Dior dream. Some people call it racist. Says he:

“I wanted to show the power of Chinese people standing together and a kind of socialism in Chinese history (only in Chinese history not China now). The Chinese models are not people. They are symbols of Chinese history between the 1960s and 1980s.”

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Posted: 6th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

Kim Jong Il Missing At North Korea’s Arirang Festival: Or Is He?

TO North Korea for the Arirang Festival. It;s show of dance and gymnastics. But where it Mr Kim Jog Il, the country’s esteemed leaders, the one they call Mr Photoshop? Can you spot him?

Spot Mr Kim and win Justin Bieber tickets for his tour of the Great Land Of Joy!


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Posted: 3rd, August 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment

Kim Jong Il Spotted At World Cup With Australia Camp: Photo

TO the front page of the Illawarra Mercury, where the region’s multiculturalism is being saluted with a mugshot of a local from each of the World Cup’s 32 participating nation’s.

C’mon Cameroon – do it for the little white girl.

And can you spot Mr Kim Jong-il? Eyes down…

Click the image to make bigger.

Spotter: Tim Blair


Posted: 12th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comment

Kim Jong Il Joins Queen At Wellington Barracks, But Where Is He?

CONTINUING our occasional look for Kim Jong Il, leader of North Korea. Was he there when Queen Elizabeth II posed for an official photograph with the Grenadier Guards in Wellington Barracks after presenting the regiment with their new colours, London? Yes. He was. Can you find him before the star of group photos and photoshop finds you..?

Click the image once or twice ot make it huge – More Kim fun soon…

Amazing pictures or Mr Kim at work and play.

Posted: 11th, May 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)

In Pictures: Proof That Kim Jong-il Is A Fashion Leader

KIM Jong-Il is a fashion leader. North Korea’s Gary Glitter prototype is a leader of fashions. AFP reports:

The trademark suit sported by North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il is now in fashion worldwide thanks to his greatness, Pyongyang’s official website said Wednesday.


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Posted: 9th, April 2010 | In: Fashion | Comment (1)

In Pictures: Kim Jong Il Visits London, New York And Photoshop

KIM Jong Il is Anorak’s Man of The Century, this had and the last. Times change, new fabrics come into fashion, but Kim Jong Il sticks with his anorak in reassuring hearing-aide beige. Sometimes it appears as if Mr Kim has not even moved, let alone changed from one officially released portrait to the next. It’s not Photoshop – it’s stoicism. To celebrate Kim’s achievements, Anorak has compiled a gallery of his finest moments. The leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea illustrated: Where’s Kim – a study of a man in stills.


Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment

X Factor: Simon Cowell Kills Democracy With His X-Is Of Evil

simon-cowell-pantsIN Anorak’s X Factor book – The Audacity of Mediocrity – you will read chapter on how Simon Cowell championed democracy only to crash it beneath his shiny shoes when the public clamoured for change.

First Lucie Jones was dismissed form Cowell’s pop class in favour of Duracell Gonks Jedward, we wailed. When Jamie Archer was dismissed and non-singing Lloyd Daniels allowed to walks the stage like a man trying on a news pair of flippers once more, we raised our fists.

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Posted: 17th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Bill Clinton Hunts For Kim Jong-il

kim-il-jong-bill-clintonWHERE is Kim Jong-Il? Continuing Anorak’s occasional game, Bill Clinton journeys to North Korean to hunt for Mr Kim.

Bill Clinton has met North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il in an effort to free US journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, each sentenced to 12 years of hard labour for illegal entry and fomenting clumnies to Mr Kim’s No.1 Gnome Emporium.

Bill hopes to secure the release of the two women and, my right, their undying love and gratitude.

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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)

Kim Jong-il Visits Cardiff

where-s-kimKIM Jong-il is everywhere. Having seen him that famous photo stood dressed in his Anorak Comfi-Slax before his soldiers, we got to thinking that Kim Il Jong can fit into every crowd scene with ease.

So we begin our new occassional series we call “Where’s Kim?”

Can you see him in this scene?

The Prince of Wales, Colonel in Chief, is taking part in an official Regimental photo when he visits 1st The Queen’s Dragoon Guards to celebrate their 50th anniversary and to take the salute as they exercise their Freedom of the City of Cardiff at Cardiff Castle.


Kim came too…

Kim Jong Il’s Secret Picture Gallery

Posted: 1st, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment

Kim Jong-Il Eats Live Fish For His Tea

kim-jong-il-nuclearKIM Il-Jong eats live fish for his tea.

Should there be a nuclear war with north Korea, Anorak can hear the troops singing such a ditty in the trenches.

KIM Jong-Il eats live fish for his tea
He’ll got down in history
Kim Jong-Il eats live fish for his tea
And it makes him feel eel

Alex Peake has more:

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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)

Australia Prepares For War With North Korea

AUSTRALIA salutes the cause of global independence and immortal contribution to the development of the friendly relations between the Land Of Bonza and North Korea, sworn enemy of the land of the Bonsai.

(Parliamentary Secretary for Early Childhood Education and Child Care) Maxine McKew wants to train toddlers and pre-school children to become political activists.

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Posted: 14th, April 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)

Obama’s Video Message To North Korea

BARACK Obama makes an appeal to Iran, and follows that up by forming an alliance with North Korea – the Smokers’ Axis is in the making:

From the office of his supreme excellency and much-taller-than-he-looks in pictures Kim Jong-il:

“He also gave on-the-spot guidance to the Hoeryong Taesong Cigarette Factory….Seeing varieties of cigarettes being churned out from each machine and workshops kept neat and tidy, he expressed great satisfaction over the fact that the interior and exterior of the factory are spruced up in a hygienic and cultured manner and quality cigarettes are mass-produced thanks to the successful maintenance of its equipment and technical control. He advanced tasks to be carried out by the factory, calling on it to keep the cigarette production going at a high rate and further improve its quality.

Let’s hear it for smokers!

Smoking Allowed At G20 London Summit

Spotter: The Croydonian

Posted: 21st, March 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment

The Thrice-Cursed Enemies Of Kim Jong-Il

FROM the desk of the Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Il, aka Kim Jong-Not-Ill-In-Any Way-But-In-Rude-Health-So-Watchout, of North Korea, and not that of Gordon Brown:

Heading: “S. Korean Puppet Plot-Breeding Group’s Anti-DPRK Sabotage Moves Disclosed”

Pyongyang, December 18 (KCNA) — The moves of the puppet plot-breeding group of south Korea to sabotage the DPRK have recently reached an extremely reckless and dangerous phase. A spokesman for the Ministry of State Security of the DPRK issued a statement Thursday in this regard.


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Posted: 20th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment