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Susan Boyle Tops Sex Survey And Cracks Germany

8081660SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle tops sex survey, receives more insults and lowers her eyebrows and sings on German TV show  ‘Menschen 2009’.

THE results are in and the Daily Sport can reveal that 70% of British men would “LANCE” Susan Boyle. Susan Boyle could surely weep – literally.

Jeff Hordan, who took part in the poll, said: “There are plenty of times you’d get drunk and go home with a fat moose from the local nightclub. So pulling a dodgy looking celeb is much-better in my book. I’d definitely bang Susan Boyle. She’s a bit rough but after a few pints I’d do her. A celeb is a celeb!”

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Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

I’m A Celebrity: Katie Price Is Rubbed Off In Kim Woodburn Bust Up

katie-price-wetI’M A Celebrity: For the first time in weeks, there is not a single X Factor story on the cover of any paper, which can only mean one thing: Katie Price is wearing a bikini in the overgrown Blue Peter garden. The daily round-up of I’m A Celebrity news:

The Sun (front page): “Three on the bounce”

Jordan has now completed Three Bush Tucker trials. And it’s all because of Peter Andre:

Fans of her ex-hubby Peter Andre are said to have hatched an internet plot to force her to do EVERY trial in revenge for her treatment of the singer.

Good of the Sun to undercover this datardley plot on the shadowy web. What do we know?

One poster on Facebook wrote: “Keep voting for Kate to do all the tasks.”

Another added: “Vote her to do all the nasty trials.” Bookies made Jordan favourite to do the next trial.

Can it be that only two people vote for the celebs to be put up for challenges?Or is teh sun workign on away to keep Peter Andre in the jungle dynamic? In other news, there’s been a fight, what tabloids should call a BUST UP:

The Mirror: “Kim v Katie”

It’s televised pro-celebrity cleaning woman Kim Woodburn and Katie Price. Fumble? No. Rumble. Yes! Fight!

She looks as if she could handle herself in a physical confrontation and after her verbal rucking with Katie Price in the episode on telly a couple of hours ago, Kim’s obv up for a rumble in the jungle too…

The Mirror is writing in the manner of a text message to git din wiv da kidz. Back to the fight. Will Kim wipe the floor with Katie? Will Katie starts calling Kim ‘Quim’? The exchange goes like this:

Katie wants to know what the other campmates thing of her. This is good because ITV can now film Katie and the other celebs at the same time, instead of just Katie:

Gino In Da Campo: “I thought you would be a right bitch.”
Quim: “You are what I thought you’d be.”
Jordan: “What, a bitch?”
Quim: “You’re a publicity seeker. You live and die for publicity and you do it well. As Shakespeare once said, ‘We fear you protesteth too much.’”

Shakespeare might have said it but he never did write it down. Kim Woodburn is an authority on Shakespeare, that’s Brett Shakespeare, supplier of scouring pads to the rich and famous.

Jordan: “What do you mean?”
Kim: “You said you escaped to come in here but you’ve got 12 million people watching you every night. I don’t get that. What I’m saying is you do publicity very well and you protest all the time but love it. You live it and dream it.”
Jordan: “No, I used to love it”

Kim continues to rub away at the stain. But Jordan is constructed beneath indelible layers of felt tip and wood stain. Oh, if only breasts were elbows Kim would have the power to wipe Jordan from the face of the planet.

And it end with fisticuffs? Well, no:

Katie: “We’re all talented in our own way, Kim. I’ve got to laugh out loud to myself. I’m agreeing with you, Kim.”

Katie Price not in fight and gets on with campmates – read all about it! It’s MAYHEM!

See pictures of busty stars here.

I’m A Celebrity’s Sam Fox’s Career In Pictures

Me And My Chest: Peter Andre’s Career in Pictures

The Katie Price Burning: A Life In Pictures

Posted: 19th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (15) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Sacks Katie Price

sam-foxTHE year is now divided into TV shows: And November means I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!, staring Katie Price in the sack and out of a bikini.

While the BBC’s care home-focused non-dancing dance show Strictly Come Dancing – does anyone allowed to operate the remote control watch it? – ITV follows the X Factor with another hit.

The show features the following celebrities, who would once have been called “personalities” and before that “VIPs”:

George Hamilton – Does the Hollywood legends know the sun cannot reach the jungle floor? Big risk that his tan might suffer. Expects a deep mahogany giving way to light maple as the show progresses.

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Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0