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Kim Kardashian divorce dragged out by Kris Humphries for absolutely no reason

IT really is a sorry state of affairs when your acrimonious split and divorce is a thousand times longer than your actual marriage. And that’s the sorry state that Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian are in after their lawyers rinsed the pair for money while pretending they were wringing their hands with worry all along.

And so, the lawyers for these vacuous bozos are to wink at each other before ‘squaring off’ in court today to tell Kris Humprhris that he needs to shit, or get off the pot. So what gives?

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Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kim Kardashian says Kris Humphries defrauded her with Minnesota

KIM Kardashian says Kris Humphries are to annul their marriage as soon as one of them admits to fraud, says TMZ.

Kim, reportedly, wants Kris to admit he defrauded her when having resined himself to living in California then “demanded” she move to Minnesota. Kris says she defrauded him by agreeing to a marriage she had no intention of working at.

And that’s not all. One anomaly is that Kris, reportedly, wants Kim to give him $7 million.

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Posted: 17th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kim Kardashian arranged her own proposal from Kris Humphries

ROMANCE. What do you make of it? Is it a beautiful, spontaneous thing that captures not only the moment, but your heart too? Not if you’re Kim Kardashian (and we thank the stars you’re not)! See, she likes things to be just so. And mercifully for her, she managed to snare a thicko who was willing to do exactly as she pleased. See, when Kris Humphries decided he was going to propose to Kim K, she wasn’t having any of it.

We still can believe that the whole thing ended in a sham of a marriage. Honestly. We’re crestfallen.

Either way, it appears that Kris Humphries told his friends and family that his soon-to-be ex-wife planned his wedding proposal to her so it would look good on her show, ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians.’ He proposed in Minnesota, but she rearranged it for him so it happened in her bedroom.

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Posted: 16th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kim Kardashian admits marriage mistake at long last

KIM Kardashian, star of the Kim Kardashian & Ko 3D Christmas card, admits marriage was a mistake.

MARRIAGE! What a beautiful, rare and precious thing, right? Well, apart from the fact everyone gets married and that loads of them end in divorce. But still, huzzah for matrimony!

Of course, someone who got married for all of ten minutes was America’s First Lady, Kim Kardashian. So short was the marriage, that everyone pointed at it and shouted “PR STUNT! BOO! YOU’VE RUINED THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE AND NOW THE GAYS ARE GOING TO USE IT AS A JOKE AGAINST THE CHRISTIANS!

Which they duly did.

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Posted: 20th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Mark Your Hats! Kim Kardashian’s Wedding Date Is Confirmed!

HAS everyone bought a hat? It doesn’t matter what type of hat you buy. A bobble hat will do. Even a verruca sock stretched over your bonce as a makeshift swimming cap will suffice. We need hats because there’s a wedding afoot which not one of us will be allowed to attend!

HUZZAH! It’s just like the Royal Wedding all over again!

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Posted: 29th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Kim Kardashian Had An ‘Affair’ With Someone You Haven’t Heard Of: Launches Perfume

MYSTIFYINGLY famous Kim Kardashian (she’s the Kardashian sister who had a sex tape online if you can’t tell them apart) is getting married soon, which is obviously wonderful news for all of us adoring fans. She’ll be looking at her vast piles of money and wondering how she’s going to spend it on her special day – unlikely to be her last ‘special day’ in fairness.

She’s blissfully in love with some chap called Kris Humphries, who is some kind of American sports personality, thereby, completely unheard of outside of the United States of America.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Posted: 9th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment