Posts Tagged ‘liverpool’
Liverpool: Alberto Moreno shows us his short-sighted, armed chimpanzee tattoo
Liverpool FC’s Spanish full-back Alberto Moreno has a tattoo of a chimpanzee holding a gun. He showcased the ink on his Instagram:
How we interpret this tattoo is unclear. What’s the ape listening to, if anything at all – footballers often wear cans to dodge calls from fans and journalist asking for interviews. Isn Cheetah contemplating suicide, murder or a novel and dangerous way of picking his nose? Much to discuss.
It’s a new angle on skin art, moving on from fat lettering, Latin scripts and numbers, and Doodled arms.
Liverpool: Klopp aims to buck the trend in Dortmund
One more reason to like Jurgen Klopp, Liverpool’s charismatic manager. Asked if will celebrate a Liverpool goal when the Reds take on his former club, Borussia Dortmund, in tonight’s Europa League quarter-final match, the German said, “of course I will celebrate”.
Good. Go nuts. Footballers who look apologetic when they score against a former club are pathetic and joyless. Goals are what the game is about. Anyone failing to celebrate them should be sent off.
Posted: 7th, April 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Liverpool: Morrisons knows shoppers don’t trust Scousers
Northern supermarket chain Morrisons thinks the Scouse accent is not good at selling its quality groceries. Casting Networks Inc was looking to recruit actors for a new Morrisons advert. They wanted “proper working class people”. They said Scousers need not apply. The ad went:
They should be proper working class people but not at all like the people from ‘Benefits Street’. They should NOT sound or look posh and we should skew towards northern accents. And nobody from Liverpool please.”
The ad also called for “quirks“, such as “bushy eyebrows and freckles“. So, no black faces, then?
But no matter for the race issue. A sharp-browed black actor can always go ‘Ginger Face’ and stick on some felt. It’s the ban on Liverpudlians that hurt. One Guardian writer was outraged that la-di-da-lar Scouse actors were not good / too good for Morrisons.
The deplorable language used to stereotype different types of ‘working class’ people is pure class-based discrimination. The crass, gratuitous nature of the words jump out. Like being stopped in the street and hit with a tirade of puerile, outdated incoherence. Growing up against a backdrop of the Thatcherite “managed decline” of the city of Liverpool, I have plenty of personal experience of such nonsense. In my quest for a first job as a reporter, I ended up being interviewed for a news agency role. It went OK until the interviewer, as if struck by a paroxysm of offensiveness, blurted out: “Just one final thing … you don’t write the way you speak, do you?”
But surely the casting agency and Morrisons were not exercising their own prejudices, rather working under the market-research-backed premise their shoppers do not like the Scouse accent. And no lesser mind than Craig Brown has passed comment on Liverpool:
The city’s favourite dish is the so-called “Sarnie Sarnie” – two slices of bread placed between two further slices of bread… Sophisticated Liverpudlians order their “Sarnie Sarnies” deep-fried.
He advises honing the Liverpudlian accent by “gargling with raw potato skins three times a week”.
You can get those sarnies and spuds mentioned above in Morrisons. Although, the supermarket advises Liverpudlians to pay for them before leaving any of their stores…
Manchester United and Liverpool deliver the most ridiculous excuses for losing a football match
When Manchester United lost 2-0 to Fulham on 21st March 2009, manager Alex Ferguson had a simple explanation for his team’s shortcomings: The dressing rooms at Craven Cottage had been too small.
After the defeat, Ferguson rallied against the “ridiculous” facilities at Fulham before calling on the Premier League to introduce a minimum size standard for all teams in the top tier to avoid any such travesty befalling any of his contemporaries.
With all the money in the Premier League, some grounds should be better. There should be a minimum standard of size of dressing room, especially now you have more players on your bench and an increased staff.
Everton’s are so narrow it is unbelievable. Portsmouth’s away dressing room is not great and the one at Fulham is smaller than my office.
Craven Cottage is a very traditional stadium and one of my favourite away grounds, but when you have 18 players stripping down, plus coaches, physios and kit men, it is ridiculous really.
Hear hear. Down with this type of thing.
To that end, here are five other fatuous fillets of flim-flam that have been used to explain away footballing failure.
When Newcastle drew at Stevenage in the FA Cup in 1998, Reds’ manager Kenny Dalglish was in no doubt why his team had failed to topple their lower-league opponents. The balls were too bouncy.
After the match, Dalglish complained that the swirling winds and unruly balls suited Stevenage more than Newcastle, which led to opposing chants of “Your balls don’t bounce enough” being sung in his direction all through the replay.
When Ukraine lost 4-0 against Spain in their first game of the 2006 World Cup, defender Vladislav Vashchuk had his excuses at the ready. Noisy frogs had kept the team awake the night before. He lamented: ‘Because of the frogs’ croaking we hardly got a wink of sleep”.
Alex Ferguson was again at his inventive best when called upon to explain his side’s infamous defeat to Southampton at The Dell in April of 1996.
Already 3-0 down at half-time, Fergie decided that his players were struggling to pick each other out in United’s dreary new grey away kit. He ordered them to change into their blue and white third strip for the second half.
Sure enough, United came roaring back to lose 3-1 by the end of the game.
Liverpool’s Bill Shankly went one better when his side lost in the 1971 FA Cup Final to Arsenal. His side’s new shirts were, and we quote, “too heavy”. Poor lambs.
Gerry Francis’s largely featureless reign in charge at Tottenham doesn’t regularly feature in all-time top tens compiled by the club’s fans, but his excuse for one particular defeat does live in the memory. He blamed the loss on the grass. It was the “wrong type” you see.
Via Pies.
Transfer balls: Liverpool prepare for Henderson exit as Spurs flash the cash
Are Liverpool making ready to sell Jordan Henderson? The Mail says Henderson’s sale is on the cards. The paper says Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp would want £20million for the former Sunderland player, with Spurs his most likely destination.
Given the two clubs’ respective Premier League positions, wouldn’t a move from Liverpool to Spurs be an upgrade for Henderson?
The Mail writes:
Significantly, Klopp refused to rule out Henderson’s departure should the player knock on his door following reported interest from Tottenham. ‘Everything is OK in this moment but nobody in the world, maybe only (Lionel) Messi, is unsellable,’ said Klopp. ‘There is always a situation. I come from a club where always the best players are picked by other teams and at the end, you have to accept a few things and always need to have a Plan B or C.’
Overlook the Mail’s twist and Klopp’s words could be interpreted as, “Henderson’s one of our best players. If he wants to go, how can we stop him?”
Does Henderson want to leave? We’re not told. But Klopp does add:
‘I am pretty sure it is only a rumour (Tottenham) but if not and if a player – let’s not say Hendo but any player – comes to me and says he doesn’t feel comfortable and wants to leave, style of play, more money, then you always have to start thinking. That’s all I can say on this.’
The Mail says this adds up to “Henderson facing an uncertain future this summer”, making it sound as if Klopp is calling the shots and Henderson is on tenterhooks. But the Sun notes:
Champions League football could lure Reds skipper to White Hart Lane
Liverpool are a mid-table side. Spurs are on the ascent. If Henderson’s future is uncertain it is only because he wants better.
Posted: 20th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment (1)
Manchester United escape fine for Liverpool Hillsborough chant
Manchester United will not be punished for its fans revolting chants about the Hillsborough and Heysel disasters when the club faced Liverpool in the Europa League. A Uefa spokesperson says United have no case to answer because the chanting was not mentioned in the match officials’ reports.
Are some football chants just too offensive? But what’s the point of an insult if it doesn’t cause offence?
The problem begins when you rule on what is and what is not permitted to be said. Better if it is left to United fans to tell the idiots in their number shouting “murderers” at Liverpool fans to shut up.
This United chant heard on the night is much better anyhow**:
Going on up to the spirit in the sky
It’s where I’m gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I’m gonna go on the p*** with Georgie Best
** We in no way condone alcoholism and the terrible toll it takes on the…blah… blah….blah
Posted: 14th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: Liverpool’s penalty was only ‘controversial’ in the Sun
Liverpool defeat Manchester Untied 2-0 in the Europa League and the tabloids get to work. Liverpool’s first goal was scored from the penalty spot. The Sun leads with this “controversial penalty”, the “second for Liverpool in four days”.
The paper reminds readers that on Saturday Christian Benteke had gone to ground easily at Crystal Palace, his tumblr helping to secure the penalty he then scored to win the game. No other paper harks back to that match.
The Mirror, which unlike the Sun is read on Merseyside, says United’s Memphis Depay “brushed” over Nathaniel Clyde just inside the box.
In the Mail, Depay “placed a restraining hand on his [Clyde’s] shoulder and tangled legs. Either would have been sufficient to justify the penalty award…”
The Express says “Depay sent Clyde crashing to the turf”.
Manchester United manager Louis Vn Gaal agrees with the Sun: “It was a cheap penalty…the referee cannot see that because…he held him outside the box and then he is falling down.”
The Times, the Sun’s stablemate, says “any offence bean outside the area”.
As for the local press to the bother clubs:
Liverpool Echo: “Sturridge stepped up to convert a penalty in the 20th minute after Nathaniel Clyne had dashed into the box to collect a Roberto Firmino pass and been tripped by Memphis Depay. It was close but looked just inside.”
Paul Scholes in the Manchester Evening News: ““Anywhere else on the park this isn’t given as a free-kick.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 11th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Palace: Crystal Palace robbed as ‘cool’ Benteke does a Gerrard
Crystal Palace lose to 10-man Liverpool and there are accusations of diving. Palace manager Alan Pardew – previously seen head-butting an opposition player on the side of the pitch and verbally abusing the likes of Manuel Pellegrini and Arsene Wenger – is unhappy.
Palace looked to be on course for a valuable point against a Liverpool side down to 10 men, after James Milner saw red just after the hour-mark. However, with just seconds remaining, a rash lunge from Damien Delaney in the box left Christian Benteke sprawling and ref Andre Marriner pointing to the spot.
Benteke converted the resulting penalty to secure a precious win for the visitors and condemn Palace to another defeat.
Hard cheese. And sour grapes. The Sun leads with news that Benteke dived to win the spot kick.
“Was it penalty to Liverpool?” the paper asks. Yes, it was. Should it have been given? Time for a heated debate.
The Sun is first to respond. Paul Jiggins says “fraudulent” Benteke “conned” the officials.
We then hear from the player and the Palace manager.
Pardew: “I feel like we’ve been robbed. He certainly makes a big meal of it.”
Benteke: “I think he touched me, otherwise I wouldn’t go down. The referee knows better than us and he took the right decision.”
End of. But no. Former Liverpool player Jamie Carragher adds his opinion.
Carragher: “Liverpool players don’t dive. It was a stupid decision to dive in and [Delaney] just clipped with his right knee Christian Benteke’s left ankle and it’s a penalty. I don’t think it’s a debate.”
But it is. In the local Press, the Croydon Guardian reports Pardew’s response is given in full.
Pardew: “If you’re the referee and you see that incident, you see the centre half pulling out of the challenge, you don’t give the penalty. The linesman assumes that little touch is a penalty – he [Benteke] makes the most of it – and he gives it and it’s tough to take. If you think that touch affects the fall that he has, then you seriously need to be consulted. I’m a football person and that touch doesn’t warrant the dive that he makes, and it’s the dive that makes the linesman’s mind up. I think it’s an issue that’s worrying in the game. I saw Jamie Carragher say if someone’s going to touch you, you’re going to make the most of it. Jamie Carragher saying that. He’s an ex-pro. Come on. You try to be fair, you try to say the right things to your players and send out the right message to the players to be honest and that touch doesn’t warrant that dive.”
The local Palace paper calls the penalty “controversial”. What says the Liverpool Echo?
Echo: “Substitute Christian Benteke was brought down by Damien Delaney’s foolish lunge and the £32.5million striker stepped up to coolly slot home the spot-kick.”
Those of you still rolling your eyes at the part about Liverpool players not diving should enjoy this:
Posted: 7th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment (1)
Liverpool fans leave early to miss the goals
At around 4:35 Liverpool fans began their 77th minute protest, a walk-out triggered by the £77 the club plans to charge for the best view at Anfield. (To Arsenal fans, of course, £77 is the price of a half-time Balti Burger and an hour’s parking.)
Two goals up against a lowly Sunderland, thousands of Liverpool fans made their way to the exists, able to feel right about making a stand and pleased to have seen the crux of a home win. Seemingly, the only losers were the fans who routinely leave early to beat the traffic – for them a 46th minute exit was the preferred route.
Then Sunderland scored twice. At the final whistle, the match was 2-2. The Liverpool fans who stayed got to see all the goals, and the Sunderland fans got to serenade all seats, both expensive and less expensive, with a rendition of “Walk Out, walk out with your head in your hands and you’ll always walk alone…”
PS: Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp missed this game after suffering a suspected bout of appendicitis.
Posted: 6th, February 2016 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Liverpool lose and Stoke remain ‘in the mix’ for League Cup final, say papers
Last night Liverpool FC reached the League Cup final after a penalty shoot-out with Stoke. Let’s see which newspapers went to print before the match finished.
Stoke are in the mix. Stoke shaking it up. So reports the Daily Express and Daily Mail. In other news: Stoke lost.
Posted: 27th, January 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Liverpool beats Stoke to reach League Cup final
Liverpool have beaten Stoke city to reach the League Cup final. The papers will go mad for Jurgen Klopp.
But Liverpool fans spared a thought for young Liverpool fan Owen McVeigh, an 11 year old who passed away last month after a battle with leukaemia.
Posted: 26th, January 2016 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Liverpool open bidding for Alex Teixeira
Liverpool have made a move for a big-named signing. It’s Alex Teixeira. He plays for Shakhtar Donetsk. He scores lots of goals. He’s from Brazil.
The Guardian says Liverpool have made a £24.5million bid.
The Liverpool Echo says Liverpool can forget it because Shakhtar ‘value the player at around £38.5million.
What that means, of course, is that when an English club comes knocking the player’s foreign owners looks at the massive TV deal – every Premier League team next season is guaranteed about £95m just for taking part – and bumps up the price. That explains why the Daily Mail says Shakhtar are “willing to sell for £29m”; the Daily Mirror says Shakhtar want around £36m; and The Times says Shakhtar “value Teixeira at closer to £40m”.
They don’t know because the fee is because Shakhtar keep pulling the lever on the one-armed bandit.
Posted: 21st, January 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Balls: Brendan Rodgers and who gets the ‘final say’ on transfers
Former Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers tells us:
“Well…it was a group decision, really. It was certainly not something I would have the sole or final say on. It’s difficult really. When there is a list of players and the player that you want isn’t on that list, you have to take someone. You can’t have no players. If you haven’t got a left-back, if the left back that you want, for whatever reason, you can’t bring in, if there is a list of three or four, you are having to take the best on that group. It’s the model.”
Is that the same Brendan Rodgers who when Liverpool manager told Liverpool Echo on May 28 2014:
“Obviously, I am involved heavily in the identification of the player,” Rodgers told the ECHO.
“The principle idea when I first came in was that like any manager you will have the first call on a player and the last call.
“That’s the call on whether he’s good enough to continue to look at and try to organise a deal and the last call to say yes or no.
“There is a big part that goes on in between. In modern football you need to trust other people to do the work. That’s something we do here and that’s why we have had the success we’ve had.
“The finer details of that are left to Ian who does a terrific job and our other guys in that field who will go through the contracts. I am aware of where the situation is at right the way through the process.
“We will never bring in a player here who the manager doesn’t want in. That’s a great credit to the owners and the other people at the club.
“We work very closely together – it’s worth stressing that. It’s key that we are very much one club.
“We are really preparing for next season. I’ve had some very good meetings with our recruitment team. We are very much together as one.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 18th, January 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Liverpool v Manchester United: hyping the mid-table v also-rans
The tabloids are attempting to light the bunsen burner beneath Liverpool’s home match with Manchester United. It’s not an easy thing to do. Liverpool, an ordinary mid-table side, versus also-rans Manchester United. Game on!
The papers looks at the charisma-free players on either side, fail to spot any signs of tension, fight, star-quality or feuds, and decide to focus attention on the teams’ respective managers.
The Sun says Liverpool boss Jurgen Kloop, fresh from wildly celebrating a last-gasp home draw with Arsenal – Liverpool fans still unsure how far their club have fallen should study his frenzied reaction and weep – “Said No to United.”
JURGEN KLOPP snubbed a chance to fill Alex Ferguson’s boots at Manchester United.
The Liverpool boss was approached by Fergie himself three years ago. But Klopp admitted: “We spoke and it was a big honour but there was a time I couldn’t leave Dortmund. It was April and in the middle of the planning for next season… We spoke but I first had to finish the job with Dortmund then think about other things. Maybe that is not smart but that is my way.”
No snub, then. Klopp was tied to his beloved Dortmund. He would not leave them in the lurch.
The Express says Klopp “turned down Fergie”. Klopp was not first choice for United. Ferguson sounded out many managers about them taking over at Old Trafford.
The Mirror and Star both lead with Louis Van Gaal, a man who for week has been on the “brink” of getting the sack at Old Trafford – well, so the papers have told us. He’s still there. Asked if he thinks United will go as long without winning the title as Liverpool, who last won the league in 1990, Van Gaal says:
“I am part of the transition so I cannot imagine that shall happen with Manchester United. But when it’s happening to Liverpool it can happen to Manchester United but I cannot imagine that because we are in transition and we are going in the right way.
“Maybe it shall take a longer time but I cannot imagine that it shall be the same period for Manchester United – the club is too big, too well organised and we have an infrastructure and we are improving that every year.”
So much for his having a pop at Liverpool. He says it could happen to any team.
It’s war!
Posted: 16th, January 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Paul Tisdale giving Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp a present is just one one of the nicest things ever
Paul Tisdale giving Jurgen Klopp a present before the start of FA Cup match between Exeter City and Liverpool “is just one one of the nicest things ever”, says George Caulkin.
And it is.
Paul Tisdale giving Jurgen Klopp a present before the start of this game is just one one of the nicest things ever. pic.twitter.com/OBXsSIa09z
— George Caulkin (@CaulkinTheTimes) January 8, 2016
Transfer balls: Liverpool ‘get’ Grujic, chase Gundogan, Sane and Aubameyang
Liverpool manger Jurgen Klopp “may be forced into the transfer market”, reports the BBC. During Liverpool’s 1-0 League Cup semi-final first-leg win at Stoke, Philippe Coutinho and Dejan Lovren were forced from the field with hamstring injuries. At the final whistle, Kolo Toure looked to be struggling.
With Martin Skrtel already injured, Liverpool have no fit central defenders.
“This is something we have to think about,” said Klopp after the match when asked if he was now looking for new players. Two weeks ago we had three centre-backs, which is a good situation, and the season started with five – but now it is zero. It is a strange feeling because on one side it is very, very good then we have these injuries.”
BBC Radio 5 live pundit Kevin Kilbane, blames Klopp for the injuries:
“I’ve seen it at some clubs before. Perhaps it’s down to the change in training methods. Under Jurgen Klopp they’ll train much harder day in, day out. The amount of medical attention footballers get at football clubs now – and also the physical work which is put in – this shouldn’t be happening. I put down the various hamstring injuries down to Klopp’s change in style.”
Does Klopp agree? “Maybe I could look at our training methods but we don’t train – we only recover. There is no training,” he says. “I’m responsible for these things and if you want to make me responsible for our hamstring strains, then OK.”
On the matter of what players Liverpool should buy, the Press is full of guessing.
The Liverpool Echo links Liverpool to Ilkay Gundogan yesterday ,Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Joel Matip and Leroy Sane.
The Express says “Marko Grujic looks set to be unveiled as Jurgen Klopp’s first signing as Liverpool boss today”.
The Star says Toni Kroos is on his way to Anfield – maybe.
The Metro declares: “Liverpool transfer news: Kamil Grabara deal, Max Meyer eyed, Kylian Mbappe targeted.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 6th, January 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Jurgen Klopp gets the party started as plucky Liverpool draw 2-2 with mighty WBA
When plucky Liverpool drew 2-2 with big-spending West Bromwich Albion, Reds manager Jurgen Klopp got the party started at a jubilant Anfield. They’ll be talking about his at Anfield for years:
Posted: 13th, December 2015 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment