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This Isn’t It: Michael Jackson Conspiracy Theorists Hijack Film Premier, In Pictures

japan-jackson1MICHAEL Jackson’s film, This Is It, hits the movie screens.

In 16 cities around the world, the film of outtakes, retakes and on-the-takes plays on.

You can read what Liz Taylor thinks of it here, and what Peter Andre thinks of it here. America has Liz Taylor. The UK has Peter Andre, and he had to be imported.

Not everywhere is the film a big deal. But our snappers were in LA and London. And this is what they saw (there’s a film in this). Look out for:

London: Randy Jackson, Tito Jackson and Marlon Jackson (which si which), George Sampson, Abby Clancy, Harry Connick Junior (you’ve seen this, right?), a Chipmunk and two looka-likes.

LA: Ian Ziering’s teeth, Will Smith’s knits, Jennifer Lopez (allegdly), Paula Abdul’s New Age dress and Paris Hilton.

Posted: 28th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)


Elizabeth Taylor Reads Extracts From The Michael Jackson Film Sequel

melting2ANYONE unsure what to make of the Michael Jackson necrophilia film in which the show goes on even after the star has died can be assured that Elizabeth Taylor likes it. A lot.

The new Michael Jackson film has been hailed as success. There are rumour of a franchise, with different signers and actors playing Jackson, who thanks to his moving target of a face can be portrayed by just about anyone and the contents of stationery cupboard. It’s Dr Who meets James Bond in a pip-squeezing factory.

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Posted: 28th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lindsay Lohan Dies In 2010: In Pictures

lindsay-lohan5THE National Enquirer reports that Lindsay Lohan has “ONE YEAR TO LIVE”.

And then, decades to pop up on daytime telly shows to talk about what she used to get up when she felt so alive?

Well, no. The NE says Lohan will die in 2010. It’s not an altogether exact medical report, and only gets looser when we read that she might die.

Although the NE does have form as a ghoulish organ of record, correctly predicting Michael Jackson death. This week it also predicts that “ailing” Liz Taylor is “weeks from DEATH!” hwo many weeks, we do not know, but the guess is anything from 10 to 30,000.

Lohan’s death is also the opinion of a single unnamed “source”. And we should get second opinions from Messers Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax, Ativan, Valium, Adderall and all the other guys on the Serbian soft ball team who think Lindsay is “ace”, and are all namechecked in the article.

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Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comment (1)


Michael Jackson Tribute: Profonol Peter Doherty Duets With Mariah Carey

jackson-tapeMICHAEL Jackson Tribute Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news – Profonol Pete Doherty’s Tribute, Jackson rached out to R Kelly, Mariah Carey regrets not being the star of the funeral and a ghost in the tape…

Pete Doherty is to perform a tribute to Michael Jackson.

Smack and crack are old news. Propofol is in. A stars needs a signature drug. Doheryt hasd dabbled but he has never achieved the telling epithet, such as Cocaine Kate, his former lover Kate Moss did, nor the King Of Prop. Michael Jackson.

Also, Doherty will appear on the David Gest.. My Life! A Musical Concert Extravaganza show at the HMV Apollo in Hammersmith, west London. Gest made up one part of that picture of Liza Minnelli, Jackson and Liz Taylor, the one in which all four appear to be melting.

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Posted: 1st, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Michael Jackson’s Sea Shell Eatery Gutted By Fire, Sienna Miller Has Alibi

1404323TO the Sea Shell fish and chip shop in Lisson Grove, Marylebone, where 40 firefighters fought a blaze that gutted the eatery.

The cause of the fire is being investigated. A chip pan? An attempt to produce a British version of Japanese blackened cod? an attack by the Anti Hyphen Society – this being the Sea-Shell? No news yet.

And why is the Sea Shell famous? Well, it’s not for the chicken, a portion of which was once served to an Anorak writers and proved to be frozen within. How it could have benefitted from a few minutes on the fire.

The London Evening Standard explains:

The Sea Shell restaurant is popular with celebrities, being located close to many hotels and some of London’s most famous landmarks such as Madame Tussauds, The Planetarium…Abbey Road…

In such company the Sea Shell sits well, it being a faded remnant of past glories, a tourist trap serving overpriced disappointing fare. And you want to know what calibre of celebs eat there?

Ruby Wax, David Gest and Liza Minnelli were spotted dining at the restaurant this month.

melting

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Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment


Michael Jackson Joined The Raelians And Wanted Shaheen Jafargholi

jackson-t-shirtMICHAEL Jackson Watch: Millions expected in LA to check that Jackson is dead; Elizabeth Taylor refuses to attend; Shaheen Jafargholi is to be cloned; and Jackson joined the Raelians…

The Sun: “Shaheen Sings for Jacko – Boy, 12, joins Wonder, Carey and Usher”

The Boy Wonder. He’s 12. It’s OK, Shaheen, Jackson’s dead. That can of coke will taste exactly as you’d expect, no top notes of claret and base notes of soapy suds.

BRITAIN’S Got Talent schoolboy Shaheen Jafargholi is sensationally set to sing today at Michael Jackson’s memorial. The stunned 12-year-old, of Swansea, was invited by the Jackson family, who told him the King of Pop was a huge fan of his Jacko tribute act.

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Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment