Posts Tagged ‘local news’
British politics at its best: Handforth Parish Council meeting goes viral
You are watching a meeting of Handforth Parish Council, in Wilmslow, Cheshire, on Zoom. Jackie Weaver is from the Cheshire Association of Local Councils. The Chairman is Brian Tolver, refuses to recognise the legitimacy of the meeting. He bills himself as the “clerk”.
Ms Weaver says: “The chairman simply declared himself clerk and notified everybody of the case. There is no way of stopping him from calling himself clerk. Please refer to me as Britney Spears from now on.”
Mr Tolver is removed from the meeting and placed in a “virtual waiting room” to the virtual meeting after saying: “You have no authority here Jackie Weaver.”
Councillor Aled Brewerton adds: “Read the standing orders – read them and understand them!” He too is sent to the virtual waiting room.
Stay tuned…
Posted: 5th, February 2021 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment
Frozen 3 spoiler : Binman sacked for decapitating snowman
The binman who kicked the head off a snowman in Hereford has been sacked. Joseph Taylor, 3, was let in “floods of tears” after watching the man decapitate the snowman outside his home in Tupsley. The binman then repeatedly kicked the snowman’s torso until it to crashed to the ground. The action was recorded on the Taylor family’s CCTV camera.
“Yes the people who made it (kids) have young feelings,” says binman Callum Woodhouse on social media. “Let’s look at the bigger problem in this wold Covid-19 people have feelings about this. “People are dropping dead by a virus. Think of it like this, that snowman wouldn’t be there tomorrow, any feelings then?…no. I understand people made this snowman but it’s gonna melt anyhow. I don’t understand why this has came to this.”
Said no parent whose seen Frozen: we can only take so much.
Spotter: Hereford Times
Sub-editor misses open goal in Chester city centre
As newspapers die is the art of sub-editing going with them?
The Chester preacher’s message is not thought to be for the sub-editor who missed the word “manic”.
Spotter: Chest Live
Brenda from Waddington solves global warming
Brenda from Waddington, Lincolnshire is 89. She knows what caused global warming: space travel.
Spotter: @angrypiln
Posted: 19th, January 2020 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment
Wolverhampton measuring stick challenges global warming stats
The UK Met Office says that 2019 was the second warmest in a record dating back to 1850. The Met says 2020 will be warmer still. The news came via a press release. NASA and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) got their figures from scientists at NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS) in New York.
You can read more about the data and how it was interpreted at the link above. As the Express and Star reports, one reader in Wolverhampton want to see the measuring sticks,
Spotter: APILN
Sex toy mishap at Bongo’s Bingo rips out woman’s eyelashes
Eyes down for news from Newcastle. The headline in the local Chronicle: “Woman’s eyelashes ripped out after sex toy hits her at Bongo’s Bingo in Newcastle.” Says Tegan Denham on twitter:
“You actually couldn’t write my life, tonight I went to Bongo’s Bingo and got hit in the face with a double ended dildo and it took a full lashes work of extensions off. What. The. Heck.”
One for the family album. Wye-eye!
Posted: 15th, January 2020 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment
‘Satan Lives’ in my toaster – a classic TV news clip
To Boca Raton, Florida, where Satan has taken refuge in a toaster. “SATAN LIVES,” says the message on the toast. “When all said and done,” reasons the keeper of Hell’s flame, “it makes good toast.”
Spotter: flashbak
Posted: 12th, February 2019 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment
London cinema shows Holocaust film for babies
No parents came leaving less independent babies disappointed
To Kilburn’s Kiln arts centre in London’s Brent, where the “parent and baby” film screening of holocaust documentary Back to Berlin has attracted one punter – and she’s not allowed to watch on account of her being unaccompanied by a baby. All viewers must be carrying a babe in arms or entry will be denied.
And babies should love the story of eleven modern day motor bikers on a mission to carry the Maccabiah torch from Tel Aviv to Berlin. As the synopsis informs next-year’s kindergarten intake: “Each destination on the way to Berlin holds a chilling resonance for the riders as they discover and share how their families perished, or managed to survive. They find themselves heavily protected by police in 21st century Europe where anti-Semitism once again rears its ugly head particularly in countries like Greece, Hungary and Poland. En route to Berlin, the bikers meet much diminished Jewish communities clinging on to plaques and memorials as symbols of a time gone by, and once again fearful.”
Patrizia Diemling fancied watching the film. But the 68-year-old was vorboten. She tells her local paper: “Staff told me nobody is allowed to come to the screening unless they have a babe in arms. They said I would make them [parents] feel uncomfortable.” Women und children zis vay! The elderly must go to zer exit.
A Kiln Theatre spokesperson goes on the record: “The parent and baby screenings are something we are trialling – our first was this Monday and they have been programmed in response to requests from parents within the local community.” Babies hackling their mums’ accounts, we’d wager.
Liverpool teach Manchester City’s Sterling the correct way to cheat
When Raheem Sterling was awarded a penalty for falling over in the box during Manchester City’s 6-0 hammering of Shakhtar it was clear to everyone but the referee the wrong decision had been made. Sterling never thought to tell the referee he’d got it wrong. He never offered to take the penalty and deliberately miss. Sportsmanship was not the winner. But if Sterling’s looking for ways to improve his conduct, the former Liverpool player can read the Liverpool Echo’s story headline: “Raheem Sterling Man City penalty row – and the Liverpool example he SHOULD have followed.”
Which Liverpool example is that, then? This one?
This one?
This one?
This one?
No. It’s this one – when Robbie Fowler went to ground easily at Arsenal:
Fowler and Liverpool celebrated the egregious refereeing error by scoring the penalty and celebrating wildly. If only Sterling had stayed at Liverpool he could have learned what you “should” do when a penalty is awarded wrongly. But he plays in Manchester, having left Liverpool to earn more money and win trophies, so he’s a cheating sod.
Happy 43rd birthday Stephane Henchoz 👊
League Cups 🏆🏆
FA Cups 🏆
UEFA Cups 🏆Saves in cup finals 👐 pic.twitter.com/UZXWamUG9U
— The Anfield Wrap (@TheAnfieldWrap) 7 September 2017
And sometimes you get away with it:
Happy 43rd birthday Stephane Henchoz 👊
League Cups 🏆🏆
FA Cups 🏆
UEFA Cups 🏆Saves in cup finals 👐 pic.twitter.com/UZXWamUG9U
— The Anfield Wrap (@TheAnfieldWrap) 7 September 2017
Happy 43rd birthday Stephane Henchoz 👊
League Cups 🏆🏆
FA Cups 🏆
UEFA Cups 🏆Saves in cup finals 👐 pic.twitter.com/UZXWamUG9U
— The Anfield Wrap (@TheAnfieldWrap) 7 September 2017
Posted: 9th, November 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Liverpool, Manchester City, Sports | Comment
Clickbait balls: Everton and Liverpool both boast the Premier League’s best goalkeeper
How football journalism works: No.9: be all things to all fans. The Liverpool Echo published two stories on goalkeepers: one on how much better than the rest the Liverpool ‘keeper is; one on how much better than the rest the Everton ‘keeper is.
“Alisson Becker is the best goalkeeper in the Premier League and we have the stats to prove it.”
“Jordan Pickford’s distribution is better than that of Premier League rivals Alisson and Ederson…”
The Pickford story is clickbait all the way. The entire thing is baed on the opinion of former England and Arsenal goalkeeper David Seaman. He opines: “In the Premier League, you’ve got three guys who are really good when it comes to their distribution. You’ve got the two Brazilian keepers – Ederson at Manchester City and Alisson at Liverpool – but they’re not as good as Jordan is with his long passes out of his hands.” Pickford is better at “long passes out of his hands” than all the others, says former goalie.
Next week, why Tranmere Rovers’ ‘keeper is the best in the land…
Posted: 17th, October 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
What the ‘hateful octogenarian’ did to get 40 days in jail
The greatest Easter story of all time? Maybe:
WATFORD – Justice prevails. Harry Brenton, the hateful octogenarian, who patiently filled chocolate eggs with dog faeces before planting them in the village green where the Easter egg hunt was meant to take place, has been jailed for 40 days.
Patiently.
Posted: 6th, October 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Chicken ‘gangs’ terrorise Jersey
Gangs of chickens are terrorising Jersey. The Jersey Evening Post says feral chickens are “marauding” over the island leaving locals “too scared to leave” their homes after dark. Eat them before they eat you!
The Environmental Health Department fields reports of cockerels waking people up at ungodly hours and chickens pecking at flower beds and lawns.
Nobody likes tough chicken
“What happens is someone might buy a fluffy, cute little chick but when they start defecating everywhere or grow up into a rooster and start waking them up at 3 o’clock in the morning they want to get rid of them,” says Stewart Petrie, head of Environmental Health. “They don’t want to kill them by wringing their necks, so what they do is liberate them. We have also had another case where the keeper died and the chickens and cockerels have gone feral with no one to look after them.”
How the keeper died, we do not know. And reports that this is ends of days stuff remain unsubstantiated. The Rue de L’etau brand of KFC is not yet on lock down and remains opens for business.
Posted: 22nd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Man jailed for pooing in hole on children’s golf course
To Wales, where a man was filmed on CCTV pooing into a hole on the children’s pitch-and-putt golf course, Parc Coed Helen in Caernarfon. The Cambrian News says Philip Blakemore, 22, “a plant machine operator”, was summoned to appear at a court hearing in Llandudno, where he admitted disorderly behaviour and shoplifting. Furthermore, Blakemore was in breach of a criminal behaviour order and suspended sentence.
For the defence, solicitor Dafydd Roberts said Blakemore behaved in a foolish manner when he had too much to drink.
Mr Blackmore was jailed for 28 weeks.
Posted: 31st, May 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Epic fail: Cambridge News front-page headline clanger
The Cambridge News has an epic headline on today’s front page. “100PT SPLASH HEADING HERE.”
The BBC has fun:
Cromer lock down: Norfolk police lies and fears of a pogrom
At 13:33 on August 19 2017, Norfolk Constabulary declared that the seaside town of Cromer was a no-go area. Hurricane? Terrorists? What happened to close a town? Deprived of a Town Crier, police reached out to the locals via Facebook, whereon the following message appeared:
We have additional resources in Cromer tonight following reports of low-level disorder earlier today. We are aware licensees of local pubs have taken the decision to close this evening and we will have additional officers on patrol to provide reassurance to the local community. We are also aware of mentions on social media relating to a stabbing in the town tonight – we can confirm no such incident has been reported to us.
Curious minds might wonder why an entire British seaside town had been closed. Are Norfolk people so fearful that one rumoured stabbing sends them scuttling for the cellars? No serious crime occurred. The police statement was clear on that.
Helping us get to the bottom of the story was the Eastern Daily Press. Published by Archant in Norwich, a mere 24 miles from the scene, the paper told readers:
Norfolk police moved to reassure residents, saying they had only been called to reports of low-level disorder on Saturday, including thefts from Morrisons and a pitch and putt course.
No big deal, then. Although the EDP did note that the decision of many businesses to shut on a what should have been a busy Saturday night..:
The move coincided with the arrival of a group of travellers who set up camp in the town’s Runton Road car park…
With few places open in town, a large group of people were spotted walking in the middle of the road from Runton Road to Seacroft caravan and campsite in Cromer.
However, police later blocked the entrance before the crowd were later seen leaving the site.
Over on the BBC, no word on the travellers. But we do hear from the police:
Supt Malcolm Cooke of Norfolk Police said: “We acknowledge there have been a number of incidents in Cromer over the weekend, which will understandably cause concern. However, I can assure residents these incidents have been dealt with appropriately and are of a nature routinely dealt with in towns such as Cromer on a busy August weekend.”
No-one reported what really happened. Indeed on the Norfolk police know what did not happen
On the Norfolk Police website
Norfolk Police Deputy Chief Constable Nick Dean told media on August 21:
“Cromer is a very safe town, this is an isolated incident. We can’t deny a group of the travelling community were in north Norfolk at that particular time. But to put the blame completely on the travelling community as a whole, I think is totally disproportionate.”
The police were on message. But they are worried that the good people of Cromer were not. Why did police send out the wrong information? Do they view the good people of Cromer as a pogrom in waiting, knuckle-heads who will turn on Travellers, blaming them all for the alleged crimes of a few? The message seems to be that you should be less on the look out for the alleged villains than you should watch yourself for signs of prejudice. Rather than policing the streets, the police were examining minds for signs of possible hate crimes.
On September 6, police issued a new statement. Chief Constable Simon Bailey explained what constitutes low-level crime:
“There were a number of incidences of theft, of anti-social behaviour, of criminal damage and we misjudged our message, and I’m sorry that we got that message wrong. We got it wrong, we’ll learn the lessons. It won’t happen again. Part of our review will look at our media messages. I’m genuinely sorry that we created the impression that this was a low-level disorder. We had a rape which, whilst at the time we didn’t connect to the group, we are now absolutely connecting.” “
Alleged theft and rape are now classified as “low-level”crimes.
Hats of to the police for admitting their error. But why not just stick to the facts? Why send out a ‘message’? They’ve yet to explain why they did that.
Local News watch: Oldham Evening Chronicle shuts for good
Farewell, the Oldham Evening Chronicle (founded in 1854). The paper has closed after 163 years reporting on the borough. It’s a bitter blow for the staff and those on the Chronicle’s four monthly stablemates – the Oldham Extra, Saddleworth Extra, Tameside Extra and the Dale Times.
In June the Chronicle had a circulation of 6,408. One was bought by John Gilder, who had worked with the paper since 1981. He tells the BBC: “It will be sadly missed. It generates a lot of chat among local people. Before I found out, I popped into the shop and bought a copy without knowing it was the last one. I like reading a physical newspaper but very sadly it’s no more.”
Grenfell: a failure of local journalism
Emily Bell points to why no-one was listening when the residents of Grenfell were campaigning for improved safety. The horror as preventable. But no-one was listening. No-one was reporting things in a local newspaper the powerful didn’t want residents to know.
She hears Ishmahil Blagrove tells Sky News:
“This is not just a story – this situation has been brewing for years … You the media, you are the mouthpiece of this government and you make it possible.” Later Blagrove describes the mainstream media as “a bunch of motherfuckers” to a small crowd surrounding him who break into polite applause. Channel 4’s Jon Snow faced an angry group outside Grenfell the same day, asking him where the press was when the fire safety concerns were first raised.
…the evisceration of any sustainable professional journalism at the local level creates both an accountability vacuum and a distance between media and the communities it reports on.
As well as council-owned outlets, a plethora of glossy lifestyle and housing media mop up the advertising revenue not ingested by Facebook or Google. The local publication Kensington, Chelsea & Westminster Today – listed as the only free newspaper in the borough – has no local reporting at all.
Grant Feller has more, recalling his time as a reporter on and then editor of the local Kensington newspaper:
I had forgotten about those stories until this week. And I had forgotten about my first week on the Kensington News, when the then leader of the borough’s Labour group, Rima Horton –inspirational, quick-witted and not a little scary – walked me round the area and conspiratorially said: ‘You can make a real difference here. A story in the local paper, getting their picture in somewhere, won’t just lift them, it will give them fuel to fight for what’s right.’
…
We talk about community and religious leaders as being the lifeblood of neighbourhoods but we forget that local newspapers are too. There are an essential ingredient in the fabric of society, a cornerstone of democracy. Or were. Recent research suggest that up to 80 per cent of UK local newspaper journalism jobs have gone since 2006, and almost 200 titles have closed in the past decade. According to research last year from media analysts at Enders, circulations of local titles have halved since 2007 from 50.5m a week to 26.6m. At the same time, print advertising has fallen from £2.7bn to £977m.
…
Because 20-odd years ago, local newspapers mattered. They had access to people, information and events that made genuinely important stories. It was why door-stopper council agendas sent in the post were among the most important documents local reporters received. We pored over every single one of them to find potentially interesting leads. Such as committee debates about whether or not to use flammable cladding in tower block renovation works and the suspect backgrounds of companies chosen to carry out those works.
Those stories rarely make it into the public consciousness unless an enthusiastic local reporter, seeking the thrill of bylined fame and fuelled by the hopeful expectations of a local community desperate for their voices to be heard, takes it upon him or herself to get it out there. And because their future career rested on it, the story would have to be water-tight.
News stories start locally.
Spotter: Journalists Could Have Prevented The Grenfell Tower Disaster – As I Tried To Do 27 Years Ago
Regret the error: the Hampshire Chronicle spots a UKIP ‘c*nty councillor’
The Hampshire Chronicle regrets referring to UKIP’s Martin Lyton as something like a “county councillor” that “looked like a crude remark”:
Spotter: @dderbyshire
PS – Is the Times‘ Caitlin Moran moonlighting on a local rag?
Posted: 8th, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comment
Who farted in Grimsby Magistrates’ Court?
“Woman breaking wind cuts through sombre silence of Grimsby courtroom” is our local news story of the week.
The Grimsby Telegraph doesn’t say whether Grimsby Magistrates’ Court is famed for its silence, only that during proceedings a woman sat in the public gallery let rip.
Mark Naylor then adds:
One male observer, originally sitting unknowingly next to the culprit on the front row of the public gallery.. hastily moved back a row to provide a bit more distance in the event of a second unexpected event.
He also took cover outside the courtroom door later on during proceedings in a wise pre-emptive bid to avoid being in the firing line in the event of an ear-splitting encore.
He later suffered the indignity of being blamed by others for being the one responsible for the noise in the first place.
Where this man is known to your reporter is unknown, but reputations for chivalry have been built on less.
Posted: 3rd, September 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
Somerset police seek man who urinated in River
The search goes on for who urinated into the River Cale at Wincanton, Somerset. PCSO Janet Sparkes addressed a meeting of Wincanton Town Council: “Members of public have made us aware of adult drinkers in the skate park. “Also a male was seen urinating in the river. Regular patrols are being carried out by officers in order to establish the identity of the offenders.”
Says one fish: “Ever since the council shut the toilets, we’ve nowhere else to go.”
Posted: 26th, August 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Man finds ‘something from the Bible’ in his Costo salad
“We put the bag in the fridge straight away and had our first serving on Saturday night,” says Ian Lovejoy to the Henley Standard.
“It’s horrible to think about that now because it pooed everywhere and we were left wondering what we’d eaten. We decided to have the rest on Sunday but when I dropped the leaves on my plate I just saw this thing in my hand. I thought, ‘what on earth is this?’.
“It frightened me to death and my wife was extremely upset. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
“I could probably have coped if it was something small, like an ant, but this was more like something from the Bible. I can’t believe it was still alive after all that time in the bag, first on the shelf and then in our fridge.
“It’s worrying because the bag says the salad’s ready washed but they obviously haven’t cleaned it that well. When the shock had passed we just had some cheese sandwiches… I’d like to think the locust might go to an insect expert who can find a use for it.”
That salad sounds revolting – even a locust won’t eat the stuff.
Posted: 8th, June 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment
Johnny Depp silences bathtub rumours
Johnny Depp says – yes! – he did buy a £5,000 bathtub from Stiffkey Bathrooms, in Upper St Giles Street, Norwich, in 2014. Depp took the 1880 French Bateau bath on ornate feet to the USA.
Does he still have it? “We disposed of the thing and everything’s fine,” says Mr Depp. “The thing” and it being now “fine” arouse suspicion that the bath might well have been a problem.
Depp denied rumours that he was spotted buying spatulas in Bath, Somerset.
The plot thickens…
Posted: 30th, May 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment
Former BBC Radio DJ in social media horror
Local News of the Day deals with a social media nasty. The Mid Devon Gazette tells us:
Twitter profile slates BBC Radio Devon presenter and Butterleigh resident Simon Bates
Adding:
A TWITTER account calling for BBC Radio Devon’s Simon Bates to stay on holiday for good has been set up by a passionate listener. The campaign started Tweeting on Monday, March 21 and has so far attracted 11 followers…
Eleven people read the “quite scathing” tweets of the sort you can see above. What proportion of Bates’ listeners that constitutes, we ‘re not told – but let’s assume it’s all of them. After all, it’s in the papers…
Local news: York thug bites ‘teen’s fingernail’
It’s all kicking off in York…
Sadly, the story is not funny:
The victim was one of five 18-year-olds walking along Holgate Road in York, towards a birthday party when Callum Brown, 20, started shouting abuse at one of the girls from the other side of the road and followed them, said Andrew Semple, prosecuting.
Despite her boyfriend telling him to stop it and the entire group going down a side street to try and avoid him, Brown injured the girl he was insulting and attacked her boyfriend. The Recorder of York, Judge Paul Batty QC told Brown: “You quite viciously and deliberately bit two of his fingers. You clamped your teeth around them, causing deep cuts to the tips of his fingers and in consequence of that he suffered extreme pain and lost one of his nails as well.
Spotter: Brendan O’Neill
David Bowie: the most ludicrous tribute of them all
This might be the most trite David Bowie tribute of the lot. In New Zealand one local paper asks ‘whose shirt are you wearing?’ #davidbowie
Next week: which tin can is your favourite?
Posted: 14th, January 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment
