Posts Tagged ‘Madonna’
Madonna’s psychotic stalker escapes into the wild
MADONNA has timed her comeback to perfection. GaGa is readying new songs, Beyonce is being a mother and everyone is sick to death of Rihanna. Also timing a comeback well is Madge’s absolutely batshit mental stalker who has just escaped from a mental hospital!
Hurray!
Police are searching for Robert Dewey Hoskins and describe him as “a very psychotic man when not taking his medication and has very violent tendencies.”
Hoskins served a 10-year prison sentence after he was convicted of stalking and threatening Madonna. He scaled a parameter wall of Madonna’s house and said, if she didn’t marry him, he was going to slit her throat from “ear to ear”, which is absolutely the way to win a woman’s heart.
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Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Madonna previews new track ahead of Super Bowl 2012!
MADONNA, who simultaneously is quite fit, yet somehow turning into Iggy Pop, is readying herself for the huge Super Bowl halftime show. Last year, 111 million tuned in. The Black Eyed Peas saw their career half-ruined by a botched halftime show, so don’t underestimate the power of it.
And Queen Madge has promised that she won’t be having any ‘wardrobe malfunctions’ during the show, which is a small mercy for everyone really.
Not only is she gearing up for the big game, but she’s allowing it to influence the new video for her imminent single, ‘Gimme All Your Luvin”, which stars some of the Glee cast, as well as Nicki Minaj and M.I.A.
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Posted: 3rd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna takes on Elton John and just about everyone else in the world. Again.
NOW that Madonna’s pop-crown is slipping Lady GaGaward, largely thanks to her taking herself far too seriously and spreading herself too thinly, she’s remembered that nothing gets you column inches like a beef. Or numerous beefs. She’s beef mad, clearly.
The big story is Madge and Elton John are at loggerheads after the Golden Globes. Queen Bitch Elton said that Queen Bitch Madge ‘didn’t have a chance’ winning the award for Best Original Song. She promptly went and won ‘best song’.
This isn’t the first time they’ve fallen out. They spat at each other in 2004 after Elton accused Madonna of miming. After hearing about Elton’s ratings of her, she snarked: “Was he wearing a dress? Those are fighting words… OK, well, may the best man win.” After picking up the award for her W.E. song Masterpiece,Madge stated: “I hope he speaks to me for the next couple of years. He tends to get mad at me. I don’t feel bad.”
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Posted: 17th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Elton John is sick about losing to Madonna: Golden globes winners (and loser) photos
ALL the winners of the 2012 Golden Globes – each trying to hold their trophy the least like an adolescent boy. But the real onanistic action was to be had when Madonna took on Elton John for the best song. Madonna won the gong for a song called Masterpiece. Elton John looked like the Maquis de Sade trying to choke down a pickled onion-fed bottom burb.
David Furnish took to Facebook:
“Madonna. Best song???? Fuck off!!! Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in it’s narcissism. And her critisism of Gaga shows how desperate she really is.”
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Posted: 16th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna notices Lady GaGa fondness for her (with added MIAOW)
REMEMBER when Lady GaGa released Born This Way? Everyone had an opinion on it. People said it was brilliant, others said it was awful. The subplot to it all was: Did it matter that it leaned on Madonna’s Express Yourself so heavily?
Of course, Madge’s fans were apoplectic with rage, while GaGa fans didn’t care. But what does Madonna think about it all? Well, oddly enough, she has just passed judgement on it, vaguely showing her claws about it all.
Madonna said in an interview:
“I thought ‘what a wonderful way to redo my song’.”
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Posted: 13th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Banner to be Star Spangled by Kelly Clarkson at Super Bowl
AMERICA! The land of the free! The land of the burger! The land where sports events are billed to be worldwide, despite being only open to American competitors!
One such event is the Super Bowl which isn’t too far away. Of course, no sporting event would be complete without a celebrity singing the national anthem! So who will be cooing ‘Oh say can you see!’ at a crowd of pot-bellied nacho muchers, poised to yell “DE-FENSE! DE-FENSE!”?
Why, it’s Kelly Clarkson! That’s right! The singer of no fixed weight will perform the “The Star-Spangled Banner” at the Super Bowl on February 5th at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana.
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Madonna’s W.E. premiere in London – in photos
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MADONNA looked fantastic at the UK Premiere of W.E. at Odeon Kensington High Street, London. It’s the bipic in which Andrea Riseborough plays Wallis Simpson and James D’Arcy does the abdicated King Edward VIII. Crowds flocked.
Madonna To Play In Superbowl, Quite Possibly As A Wide Receiver
MADONNA’S appearance at the next Super Bowl has been one of the worst kept secrets in sports-entertainment. Just like [Whoa there Mr Libel! Name removed by Ed.] being a quite obvious closeted homosexual. Even their wife knows it fercryinoutloud!
Anyway, it has finally been confirmed that Her Madge will be doing the halftime show at Super Bowl XLVI on February 5th. The gig has been rumoured for some time now and it’s clear that the NFL and associated TV stations want to get someone properly famous with a decent back-catalogue on the show after last year’s awful Black Eyed Peas debacle.
And all the stops are being pulled out to say sorry, we won’t book a faddy pop band again as Madonna’s extravaganza will be “imagined” by Cirque du Soleil and her longtime choreographer/creative director Jamie King.
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Madonna Isn’t Happy About New Track Being Leaked
THE music industry isn’t the same as it once was. The main difference is that the industry itself isn’t in control of what is released, how you obtain it and where you listen to it. Basically, it’s watching the rug being pulled from under its own feet and some of the old guard just don’t know what to do.
The most recent example of this is Madonna and her leaked ‘Give Me All Your Love’ demo hitting the internet this week. And she really isn’t happy about it. And of course, you can hear it below to anger her further.
Madonna’s manager Guy Oseary has said the singer was “very upset” that a demo had leaked, spoiling the ‘surprise’ of new material from her upcoming album.
“Madonna told me this morning ‘my true fans wouldn’t do this’… whoever is responsible for this leak, we ask that you please stop!” Oseary wrote via Twitter. “I’m very happy with the positive reaction to the demo, but we are very upset with whoever leaked the song!!!!!!!!” he added.
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Posted: 10th, November 2011 | In: Music | Comments (2)
Madonna And Lourdes Speak About Material Things, Fruit And Learning To Be Disliked
THANKS to Guy Richie’s divorce, the US got Madonna back. Guy…thanks:
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Posted: 28th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna’s Brother Anthony Ciccone Is Homeless In Michigan: So Too Saif Gaddafi, Kathyrn Blair And Milan Abramovich
MADONNA”s brother is homeless. A story in the Michigan Messenger on why so many homeless people head to Traverse City, spotlights Anthony Ciccone, one of Madonna’s older brother. Says he:
Ciccone said he’s been among the city’s homeless for a year and a half since losing a job at his father’s vineyard and winery in Suttons Bay. He said that it annoys him that some people are amused that a person from such a high profile family would end up sleeping, as he does, under the Union St. bridge.
“My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” he said. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times — why my sister is a multibazillionarie, and I’m homeless on the street?”
“Never say never,” he said. “This could happen to anybody.”
“I don’t have any income, I’ve got to go collect bottles and cans, do odd jobs.”
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Posted: 22nd, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Madonna’s Frozen WE Proves That Wallis Simpson Was Misunderstood – And So Was Hitler (Photos)
MADONNA is doing the round, plugging her first feature-length directorial effort W.E.. It’s the story of Wallis Simpson, the Nazi fan who married King Edward VIII and was very misunderstood. Who knew, for instance, that Wallis and her brown shirted chums could be, as The Times says, “screamingly, inadvertently funny in parts [that] had ‘em rolling in the aisles at Venice”?
The Guardian says the film is “primped and simpering folly, preening and fatally mishandled”. The Daily Mail – the paper that once declared “Hurrah For the Black Shirts” – says it’s pretty good. The film’s allure is not all helped by Madge, whose face seems frozen in horror, like that moment in Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry David forgets his lines in The Producers and the theatre audience reacts with impression of Munch’s The Scream. Stuff Botox, just catch Madonna’s new film and experience a face freeze.
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Posted: 3rd, September 2011 | In: Film | Comment (1)
Madonna, Brahim Zaibat And Crew Arrive In London (Photos)
MADONNA was spotted at Heathrow Airport today. She was with her boyfriend Brahim Zaibat (pronounced ‘jailbait’). He’s 24. The Mail says she’s eight year’s older than Brahim’s mum. The Mail hates Madonna for getting old. The Daily Mail is fortunate, of course, because it was born aged 59 and having been dipped in vinegar never ages. Also there were her children David Banda and Mercy James, who she adopted in bought of celebrity colonialism for La Isla Bonita.
By the way, if you can spot which one is Brahim, well done…
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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lady GaGa Didn’t Mean ‘Retard’ Like That, She Meant It The Other Way
UH-OH! Lady Gaga is in trouble again! Why? Has she been wearing meat again, making vegetarians puke? Nope. Has she been living inside a hot water bottle made from tinfoil while wearing a hat made from scrota?
Sadly not. She’s got into a little trouble because she said the word “retarded”.
That’s right. When answering claims that she copied Madonaa’s ‘Express Yourself’ on her (infuriatingly catchy) ‘Born This Way’, she said:
“I’m a songwriter. I’ve written loads of music. Why would I try to put out a song and think I’m getting one over on everybody? That’s retarded.”
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Lady Gaga Is Not Madonna’s Camel: She Also Looks Like Kylie, Britney And Christina
LADY Gaga is pilloried for being Madonna’s cameal – a popstar formed by committee. But the criticism is unfair: Lady Gaga has also adopted the looks of Kylie Minogue, Gwen Stefani, Christina Aguilera, Grace Jones and Britney Spears. It is all done with a massive sense of self-awareness, of course. Gaga would not more pass off an old look as her own as she would bash out a Euro pop number entitled Alejandro that sounds a lot like an Ace Of Base track, which in turn was not overly different to Aswad’s Don’t Turn Around…
Posted: 20th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comments (4)
Madonna’s Audition For Fame At 21: Video
MADONNA auditioned for the hit TV show Fame when she was 21. She failed. Had only she succeed she could now be as famous as Lee Curreri, Valerie Landsburg and Gene Anthony Ray.
Anyhow, here’s Madonna acting. She was, as she ever has been, a terrible actress…
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What Really Happened At Madonna’s Birthday Party – Photos
MADONNA turns 52 today. And you all want to know what her party at Shoreditch House was like, don’t you?
The Sun says Madge has a “lot of fun partying”…
It was a great do with a “host of celebs”.
The Mirror says the “D-listers… ‘partied’ in near silence”. The paper terms the mood “funereal”. It spots “nervy guests” enduring “flagging spirits”….
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Posted: 16th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Photos Of Madonna’s Birthday Party At 52
MADONNA turns 52 today. Well, most of her does. She held her birthday party at Shoreditch House in east London. Up they went to the top floor, all the way to the swimming pool. It’s heated. But, sadly, the rain wasn’t. Also at this do were Madonna’s thirteen year old daughter Lourdes, mum’s boyfriend Jesus Luz, Paul Whitehouse and Claudia Winkleman. We stood outside and took photos. It was bitter. No, not us. The weather. Sheesh…
Posted: 15th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna’s Photos For Dolce & Gabbana: The D&G Foreskin Head Sock
MADONNA is back for more youthful fashion adverts, this time for Dolce & Gabbana. The D&G Madge Veil is available by mail order from D&GBabyPereneum.com. In one picture, Madge is handling a cock, perhaps trying to milk it for a serum. In another she is drinking a tincture of snakes’ eyeballs and toe of newborn panda. In another she is plucking the infant’s foreskin to use as a neck sock. The pick of the pictures is the one in which the old woman hidden in the D&G atelier is seen stitching the D&G Veil by hand. Doctors Nip ‘n’ Tuck look on with a keen eye…
Madonna’s Untouched Face For Louis Vuitton: Photos
Madonna Pays Homage To Susan Boyle’s Cat In Dolce And Gabbana Ads: Pictures
Posted: 6th, July 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Lady GaGa’s Alejandro Is Not Ace Of Base’s Don’t Turn Around
MORE on Lady GaGa’s Madonna-Ace of Base hybrid record Alejandro. Lady GaGa is Madonna’s Camel, a popstar formed by committee. The song is Ace of Base’s Don’t Turn Around, itself a copy of Aswad’s orignial, although they didn’t write it.
Alejandro is a pretty good match to Don’t Turn Around, albeit with a dash of La Isla Bonita.
Ace Of Bass and Madonna Both Love Lady GaGa’s New Nostalgia Song: Alejandro
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
Madonna On The 1980s School Run In Kent: Pictures
IT was like a 1980s revival meeting as Madonna hooked up with Mohamed al Fayed at The New School in West Heath, Kent, for Lawnfest, a charity fundraiser in aid of the bursary fund at the school. Toss in some leg warmers, Pump Up The Volume and a Paul Masson California Carafe and who needs the King Groovy & The Horn Stars. If Madonna could have some more work on her face and make more of her primary sexual characteristics, she could be any mum on the school run in Surrey…
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Posted: 11th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ace Of Bass and Madonna Both Love Lady GaGa’s New Nostalgia Song: Alejandro
LADY GaGa, that Madonna camel with Grace Jones boots, has anew song called Alejandro – which as you scholars know it Latin for C’Mon England! C’Mon! Soon it will be shorthand for “We’ve got a huge budget and need to spend every penny.” In Westminster it will be a new greeting.
“Alejandro, Mr Cameron.”
“Alejandro,” Mr Clegg.
“Alejandro, suckers.”
It’s a great tune. And we loved it the first time we heard Madonna sing it, last night when I dreamt of San Pedro, just like I’d never gone, I knew the song… and then we saw the sign with Ace of Bass and it opened up our eyes.
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