Transfer Balls: Ronaldo Makes ‘SHOCK’ Move To Manchester City, Manchester United, Chelsea And PSG

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express has an “EXCLUSIVE” about Cristiano Ronaldo leaving Real Madrid for a “shock” return to Manchester United…or Manchester City.

EXCLUSIVE: Ronaldo ready to make SHOCK move to Man City OR return to Man Utd

How ready? How shocking?

Cristiano Ronaldo could quit Real Madrid

Yes, he could. But is what a footballer could do an exclusive?

The 29-year-old world player of the year, who moved to the Bernabeu in the summer of 2009 from Manchester United for a then world record £80million, would love to return to Old Trafford – but a move to rivals Manchester City could also be an option.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2014 | In: Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Ronaldo Wants Liverpool, Loves Manchester United, Signs For Chelsea And Stays At Real Madrid

TRANSFER Balls: Is Critsiano Ronaldo leaving Real Madrid for a returm to Manchester Untied?

The Daily Express says he is – maybe:

Jamie Anderson says the deal to bring Ronaldo to United is “possible”. It is not impossible.

Talk of the Portuguese star’s return ramped up in the wake of comments made by former Real Madrid team-mate Angel Di Maria.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United: Juan Sebastián Verón’s Advice To Marcos Rojo and Ángel di María

IN the summer of 2001, Manchester United signed Juan Sebastián Verón from Lazio. The fomer Argentina captain has been talking to the Times. Manchester United have signed two of his fellow countrymen, Marcos Rojo and Ángel di María. What advice does he have for them?

FOOD: “You eat so early. Sometimes, with the team, we would eat at 6.30pm or 7pm. In Argentina, nobody even thinks about eating until 9pm. At the earliest.”

LIFE: “I was used to life in Italy….I knew it would be different, but the appeal of Manchester United is the same as the appeal of Barcelona and Real Madrid, the attraction that the top three or four clubs in the world have.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Robin Van Persie Cuts Short His Career

THE Sun has the sensational news that Manchester United’s Robin Van Persie wants to play on until he’s 40.

It’ll cost you to read the story because the Sun is behind a paywall.

But it won’t cost you  penny to read the same story in the Manchester Evening News, which in June reported that RVP wanted to play on til he’s 40.

Anorak

Posted: 9th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Klopp Replaces Van Gaal In May As Cuadrado And Vidal Arrive

MANCHESTER United Balls: a glance at terrible media reporting on United.

The Daily Express’ Jamie Anderson has a triple whammy of news:

 Man Utd News: Klopp to succeed Van Gaal, Arturo Vidal transfer joy, Juan Cuadrado ignored

That headline in full.

We’ll consider each part of the triple scoop in reverse order:

Was Juan Cuadrado “ignored”? Did he tap Louis Van Gaal on the shoulder, shout “Louis, over here, mate” and receive only the cold shoulder? No.

La Viola executive president Mario Cognini said: “The club always had a firm intention of keeping him. Fiorentina never wanted to sell him and, anyway, an official offer for the player was never made to us from any club.”

Anorak

Posted: 7th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Louis Van Gaal Knew Arturo Vidal Was About To Be Injured

ARTUO Vidal has a bad knee. The man Manchester United chased all summer has a bad knee. We know this because the Daily Mail says Vidal has a bad knee.

Anorak

Posted: 5th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: A £60m Bid For Paul Pogba Sees Off Miserly Chelsea And Real Madrid

AND on it goes. The Summer Tranfer Season is over but the rumour mill keeps on churning. The Mirror’s “Football Spy” (picture Mr Bean reading a Google news feed) says Manchester Untied “plan to bring Paul Pogba BACK to Man United next summer”.

Well, not quite. What the Mirror says is that Manchester United “plan to bring Paul Proba back to Man Untetd next summer?”

Yeah. Its’ the Mirror’s old trick of delivering utter balls as a question.

Anorak

Posted: 4th, September 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Manchester United Balls: Louis Van Gaal Signed Arturo Vidal For £45m

THE Daily Star says Arturo Vidal is “all smiles despite missing out on Manchester United move”. The inference is that the Chilean star is putting a brave face on things having missed playing for Manchester United. Although he never did say he wanted to leave Juventus. And United manager Louis Van Gaal never did say he wanted the player. 

In another of today’s Manchester United stories, the Star tells its readers:

THE ONES THAT GOT AWAY: Why Man Utd and Chelsea missed out on Juventus duo Vidal and Pogba

Well, Manchester United didn’t get Vidal becasue…

…Juve were demanding £40m for the 27-year-old midfielder, a fee United refused to meet.

Anorak

Posted: 4th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)

Manchester United Balls: Red Devils Are Looking For An Official Escort Agency Partner

WHEN Burnley manager Sean Dyche talked not of League Leaders but Market Leaders, the Tims and Lucys at Manchester United Inc. nodded and very possibly punched the air and whooped. Manchester United are now all about money. United are not a football team; they are a brand that can attract £150million per year in sponsorship cash (plus £75m-a-year or the next 10 seasons for their Adidas deal).

Some of the sponsors are remarkably odd, like the £2m a year Casillero del Diablo hand United to remind eveyone that they sponsor Manchester United. No photos exists of Alex Ferguson, the club’s famous wine aficionado, handing a bottle of Diablo to a rival manager, but we’re sure the label fought of massive competition to be the wine linked to Wayne Rooney’s nose. Take that, Blue Nun, your Chelsea mad bint.

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)

Manchester United Balls: Radamel Falcao And Angel Di Maria Thought They’d Joined Manchester City

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson (second r) watches his new team for the first time as they crash to a 2-0 defeat to Oxford 
Date: 08/11/1986

MANCHESTER United fan Oliver Holt wites for the Daily Mirror. He has felt United’s slip from the top of the Premier League to also-rans. It’s like the 1980s all over again at Old Trafford. But Holt knows what United need to get back to the summit. No, not a brilliant young manager marshalling a fabulous youth team. They need to spend. They need to be like Manchester City.

Holt wrote on August 19:

“To sit at Old Trafford last Saturday afternoon and watch Manchester United being outplayed by Swansea City was to feel a rising sense of bewilderment.Sure, many of us thought United might slip from the summit briefly when Sir Alex Ferguson retired.

But nobody – nobody – thought they would fall this far, this fast. They had been so good for so long, it just did not seem possible…

Everyone knew they needed to sign four or five world-class players this summer to have a chance of bridging the gap that had opened up between them and the rest. Instead, they signed two very expensive prospects, Luke Shaw and Ander Herrera – then fiddled while their empire burned.

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comments (8)

England V Norway: Paper Call Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney A Fat Chancer

MANCHESTER United and England captain Wayne Rooney is a “FATSO”.

The Star leads with “CAPTAIN FATSO”.

News is that the Norway captain has called Rooney fat.

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Radamel Falcao Was Inspired By Thierry Henry To Join Manchester United

MANCHESTER United Balls: The Red Devils have gone galactico and hired Radamel Falcao for a the season. Falcao says playing for Manchester United is a “dream” come true.

It just so happens that his dream comes with massive pay packet.

Falcao was earning a fortune at Monaco. That’s the team he joined for £52m and opined:

“My heart has been with Monaco since my idol Thierry Henry played there.”

Would his heart have been with Arsenal, where Thierry Henry also played? Or The New York Red Bulls?

Maybe Falcao saw Henry play at Old Trafford and thought he’d try to do as well as his idol?

So much utter balls, of course. Falcao is a boot for hire.

What we need are facts. So. What are dreamy Manchester United paying Falcao?

The Telegraph: £265,000 a week

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Lancashire Rejoice: Manchester United And Burnley Share The Glory If Not The Cash

BURNLEY and Manchester United drew 0-0 in the Premier League. The Manchester United team featured £57.9m signing Angle Di Maria.

In their 132-year-history Burnley have spent £45m on player transfers.

What if Burney had Manchester United’s riches to spend? What if…

Football’s not all that fair, is it? But Bunley and United can both celebrate the fact that they are from football’s leading region.

Burnley’s return to the top flight of English football is highly symbolic.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United: Louis Van Gaal Becomes A Joke

MANCHESTER United’s Louis Van Gaal was once hailed as the team’s savious. Now he’s the great rebuilder, spending oodles of money in a desperate bid to get back on top.

The Guardian peers inside the Dutchman’s head.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)

Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sign Angel Di Maria For £35m More Than His Asking Price

TRANSFER Balls: The Angel Di Maria saga, as told by the media.

On June 7, Angle Di Maria was worth £40m. Well, so said the Daily Star.

That number rocketed. On Augut 18, The Evening Telegraph said Di Maria would csot United £100m.

On August 23, the Observer said Angel Di Maria was heading to Manchester United for £60m.

And the signs are that Di Maria is not all that keen on United. The report states:

…that transfer to the French capital collapsed as PSG were unable to meet Real’s asking price, thought to have been £50m.

Anorak

Posted: 25th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Manchester United Are Desperate To Force Out Danny Wellbeck To Anyone But Arsenal

TRANSFER Balls: Danny Wellbeck is leaving Manchester United for Arsenal or Spurs, says the The Telegraph,:

Danny Welbeck has been told he can leave Manchester United during the final week of the transfer window. The news will be of particular interest to Arsenal and Tottenham, who are both big fans of Welbeck and have checked on his availability in the past… United value Welbeck at around £15 million which would comfortably fit into the budgets of north London rivals Spurs and Arsenal.

But the Mail says Spurs might not have the money:

England forward is unsure how much of a role he will play this season with Louis van Gaal and will weigh up his options over the next fortnight. Hull have tried and failed to sign him while Sunderland are keen as their search for strikers continues. Tottenham and Everton would be expected to show an interest also although the latter may struggle to afford a deal.

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Manchester United Chase Arturo Vidal To Fredy Guarin’s House

IS Aturo Vidal heading to Manchcester United? They certainly need a dynamic box-to-box player. And Vidal is just that sort of footballer. But United haven’t said a word about pursuing Vidal. They did, however, comment on reports linking them with failed bids for Bayern Munich’s Thomas Müller and his German compariot Marco Reus.

In the official silence, the media has been making lots of noise about the Juventus player. The papers have shoved United in Vidal’s mouth and repeatedly linked him with move to United.

Yesterday, the Daily Mirror said Vidal was wanted at Old Trafford:

The Red Devils continue in their pursuit of new players but Louis van Gaal is running out of time with the transfer clock counting down

Readers are told that Vidal is “fully fit”. And:

Manchester United have been cleared to pursue Arturo Vidal after Juventus claimed he is fit.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Manchester United In PR War Over Thomas Müller Marco Reus Debacle

TRANSFER Balls: Did Manchester United bid for Bayern Munich’s Thomas Müller and his German compariot Marco Reus?

The Guaridan says they did:

The Muller news coems from an interview with Bild.

 Asked by Bild if the 20-times champions had been close to signing him, Müller said: “Of course. I was aware that I could earn more by making that transfer. The amount that foreign clubs were offering me was astronomical. But Bayern are my club, a change was not an issue for me.”

Anorak

Posted: 20th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Rio Ferdinand Says Van Gaal’s Devils Leave Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea And Manchester City For Dust

BY now you’ll be wondering what Rio Ferdinand has bene up since moving to QPR? Well, he’s been forwarding his media career by looking up at the Premier League title hopefuls for the Daily Express.

Can Rio be like his former Manchester Untied teammate Gary Neveille and prov to be knowledgable, erudite commentator?

Let’s find out.

Rio: “I’m backing Manchester United to win the league.”

Anorak

Posted: 20th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)

Manchester United Balls: In 1989 Michael Knighton Had Lost A Million And Gained Michael Knighton

MANCHESTER United fans grumbling over their side’s slip from the top can cast their eyes back to August 19 1989, when new chairman Michael Knighton dressed in the team kit before going on the pitch to entertain the crowd before the first division match against Arsenal.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Manchester United Pay Over The Odds For Angel Di Maria To Live Up North

TRANSFER Balls: Is Angel Di Maria leabing Real Madrid for Manchester United?

The Sun tells its readers:

REAL MADRID boss Carlo Ancelotti has told Angel di Maria: Sign for Manchester United if you want.

Is that what he said? Did he mention Manchester United? No.

He said: “I don’t know what Di Maria has decided. Until August 31 he will be here in principle. If from there he stays, or is no longer with us, we will think about it later. After August 31, everything will be cleared up.”

Anorak

Posted: 19th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Did A Bird Poo In Ashley Young’s Mouth?

AT Manchester United’s 2014-2015 Premier League season opener aginst Swansea (a 1-2 home defeat), the Red Devils’s slippery footed winger Ashley Young was fed by what looks like a bird poo.

Indeed, that’s what we thought: sign up that swan!

PS – It looks more like  phlegm than poo. Or a piece of Alex Ferguson’s chewing gum… Has the old master returned with a new way of appraising the team?

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Manchester United And The Marcos Rojo Spies

TRANSFER Balls: Is Marcos Rojo heading to Manchester United or not? The Red Devils have bid for the Argentinean. But his club want more money.  In reaction, Rojos has chucked his toys and refused to train with the squad.

Manchester United, still eager to sign Rojo, have seen a £15-odd million bid rejected as reports about problems with the player’s third-party ownership by the Doyen Sports group continue to rumble on.

Yesterday Sporting released a club statement in which they accuse an unnamed club  of using an impromptu visit to the Jose Alvalade stadium to sneak the CEO of Doyen Sports (a powerful group of super-agents) in for a hush-hush meeting with Rojo by disguising him as an employee of the visiting club.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Guess Who Manchester United Are Swapping For Arturo Vidal

TRANSFER Balls: An Arturo Vidal news media round-up. Are Manchester United going to get the Juventus player? The past 24-hours news has been not all that informative.

Our headline invites you to ‘Guess Who Manchester United Are Swapping For Arturo Vidal”. Guess right and you could be a journalist with these fine newspapers.

The Star kicks things off with news that Vidal is off the radar at United because United are winning the “race” tio sign Fredy Guarin.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sign Arturo Vidal For £7m More Than They Already Paid Juventus

TRANSFER Balls: Is Arturo Vidal heading to Manchester United?

Daily Star, August 9:

Starsport understands opening negotiations have begun towards a deal that would see United pay out a whopping club record £45m fee.

Barelona “star” Alex Song is soon called an “outcast”.

Louis Van Gaal will sign Alex Song from Barcelona if United fail in their move for Juventus midfielder Arturo Vidal. New reports claim Louis Van Gaal will move for the outcast former Arsenal star if Vidal fails to pass an upcoming medical.

Anorak

Posted: 10th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)