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The Best Jaycee Dugard Jokes Ever, With Mark Whicker

key5JAYCEE Lee Dugard – Anorak’s look at Jaycee Dugard in the news: Mark Whicker creates a media firestorm by featuring Jaycee in his sports column.

WHILE we await the arrival of the Jaycee Lee Dugard trial, shock news that Phillip Garrido is even more nuts than he thought he was and speculate on how many murders he may or may not have committed, the media can talk among itself, and the subject of the day is: Mark Whicker.

Whicker’s crime is to have been caught playing Tabloid Bingo, the game in which you try to link your vested interest to as many topical news stories as possible. Here’s sports writer Whicker:

It doesn’t sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page. Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year. She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn’t high-fived in a while.She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey. Now, that’s deprivation.

Ending with:

Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard.

A tired attempt at humour, at best. At worse an awful game of Tabloid Bingo. But how offended are you by it? The media reacts:

“Classy, Whicker. Now please go die in a fire someplace so I can use it as a hook for a ‘who’s hot, who’s not’ bit”JC Bradbury

“This is perhaps the single worst column I’ve read. Ever. Anywhere” – Alex Massie

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Posted: 10th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment