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Posts Tagged ‘massage’

£200 to get slapped about for 15 minutes? We have just the thing! A Tata Massage

HUMANS are a woefully repressed bunch. They get tired of fitting-in and, eventually, turn into outrageous secret ne’er-do-wells who want a bit of pain. Those doing it properly end up getting humiliated in a dungeon by a woman dressed in PVC, but for those not as brave, we’ve got a handy excuse for you.

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Posted: 9th, November 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Two elephants massage a man

NOT for this tourist a coin-operated massage chair in a shopping mall, or asking the kids to kick harder against the back of your car seat. The traveller might have specific chiropractic issue that only an elephant can understand, but keen massage fans will note that the therapists are not wearing Birkenstocks and linen trousers, and, as a result, one must question their suitability for the job:

Posted: 24th, September 2012 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment

Uh-oh! More developments with John Travolta and the reverse massagers!

MASSAGE is always a word that has raised the eyebrows of the eternally mucky minded, but since John Travolta got accused of all-manner of stuff, the world has been introduced to the notion of a ‘reverse massage’, which sounds like the filthiest thing ever.

Anyway, one of the massage therapists who accused John Travolta of sexually assaulting him at the Beverly Hills Hotel has hired super high-profile attorney Gloria Allred to represent him. This is interesting because this comes just one day after he withdrew from a lawsuit filed by another lawyer. Thought Travolta was off-the-hook? Seems not.

“We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take,” Allred said. Of course, the original suit is still pending, but now, it involves just one male therapist who says he got groped up.

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Posted: 16th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

More masseuses to accuse Travolta of indecent proposals

JOHN TRAVOLTA has invariably had a rough 24 hours after being accused of molesting some poor masseuse in one of the most hilariously worded legal complaints in history. The length of his wang, the state of his pubes and a man cooking burgers were all accounted for in the accusation.

And now, more masseurs are coming forward with tales of randy run-ins with Travolta and may well join a federal lawsuit in California.

The lawyer dealing with the case – Okorie Okorocha – says a number of masseurs are now apparently suing the star for sexual assault, and he said: “I’m getting tons of calls. If we weren’t dealing with statute of limitations, I’d say about 25 (potential plaintiffs) have contacted me. He’s done it everywhere, and the laws are very different in different states.”

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Posted: 9th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

John Travolta sued for allegedly trying to fiddle with the wang of a masseuse! (photos)

YOU’VE heard the rumours about John Travolta right? The rumours are so loud that these days, they pretty much drown out the day job. One author has been very vocal about Travolta’s supposed secret sexual liaisons, noting how much the Pulp Fiction actor liked to please Middle Easterners with large weaponry.

Alas, these are mere rumours and we don’t want any lawyers coming after us. Just thought we’d clear that up. Anyway, in unrelated news, John Travolta is being sued for $2 million by an unidentified masseur after the Saturday Night Fever actor allegedly made inappropriate sexual advances towards him during a massage. ‘Inappropriate advances’ it would seem, means touching a penis uninvited.

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Posted: 8th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment