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Posts Tagged ‘men’

Manchester United found and mislaid the ‘new Duncan Edwards’

When Phil Jones gave way the penalty that Eden Hzaard scored to give Chelsea 1-0 win over Manchester United in the FA Cup final, he looked both slow and clumsy. It was all so different, of course, when the hype machine hailed Jones’  £16.5m 2011 transfer from Blackburn Rovers.

 

phil jones duncan edwards

 

The Manchester Evening News hailed Jones as the “Reds’ latest teenage wonderkid”. He was ‘the new Duncan Edwards’. The paper added that he might be a reincarnation:

In an amazing coincidence, Jones was born on February 21 – the day United legend died as a result of injuries sustained in the Munich air disaster.

How good was Edwards? Former United great Wilf McGuinness told us: “To me he was like Roy Keane, Bryan Robson and Steve Gerrard rolled into one.” That’s how good Jones was.

So who said Jones was the new Edwards? No-one. The hype came from one quote. “If you talk to Bobby Charlton,” said Paddy Crerand, Bobby Charlton’s team-mate in United’s 1968 European Cup winning team, “Phil Jones reminds him of Duncan Edwards with his power and build.” And that was it.

“Phil Jones destined for Manchester United folklore,” said the BBC.

That was then…

Posted: 20th, May 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Ozil stays at Arsenal unless Manchester United make ‘unbelievable’ offer

At the Arsenal press conference, Arsene Wenger was asked about Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil leaving the club in the January transfer window – both players are in the last year of their current contracts. On the official Arsenal website, his words are distilled into the headline: “Wenger – Ozil and Alexis will stay in January.”

Will Alexis and Mesut Ozil will be here on February 1?
AW: Yes, of course.

Will they be at the club next season?
AW: I am not the only one who can decide that. They have a part to play in that as well. If it’s my decision, yes.

Could he possible envisage them leaving in January?
AW: Unless something unbelievable happens, I can’t see why that would change.

Put that through the clickbait machine and you get:

The Metro: “Chelsea enter race to sign Mesut Ozil from Arsenal.” Not much of a race, considering he’s staying at least until the season’s end. And then this:

Arsene Wenger, meanwhile, sparked confusion over Ozil’s future this week by claiming that the midfielder will not be sold in January.

How did that trigger confusion? It was a clear statement. The utter tosh is amplified in the Manchester Evening News, which having tricked readers with a conniving Ozil to Manchester United story, now trills: “Manchester United told what it will take to sign Arsenal star Mesut Ozil.”

 

 

Did Wenger name a price? No. When pressed he said it would take something “unbelievable” for Ozil to be sold.

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 29th, November 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Nightclub installs special vomiting toilet

toilet puke dish

 

A Czech nightclub has installed a high dish for vomiting puking into.

Of course, it’s in the men’s room, so it will also be used for pissing in.

Posted: 14th, September 2015 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Sex libel: All Indian males are suspected rapists

indian rape

 

YOU can libel an entire people, milions and millions of them. Did you know that all Indian males are suspected rapists? The Institute of Biochemistry at Leipzig University in Germany will not accept an innocent male Indian student’s internship application because hs is part of India’s “rape problem”.

Annette G Beck-Sickinger, professor of biochemistry, told the student via email:

“Unfortunately I don’t accept any Indian male students for internships. We hear a lot about the rape problem in India… I have many female students in my group, so I think this attitude is something I cannot support.”

Well, if you hear about it then it is better to err on the side of sense and caution. But in the inrtests if fairness, can Annette not offer him an appeal by castration?

Update: Beck-Sickinger has now apologised for being a monumenal, self-righteous fool. Well, sort of. She apologised for the “misunderstanding”.

 

Posted: 11th, March 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Let’s spread Manspread and fight the war on manhood before you all pee sitting down

subway measure 1

 

Why do you MANSPREAD? Is it because you are:

a) a man?

b) a man?

c) a ma…. ok, you get the idea. Men are swine who take up too much space on public transport. Men need to sit more like women do.

The Gothamist filmed a woman with a tape measure confronting men on the subway about the space they consume.

The story is entitled:

Confronting Subway Manspreaders

The intrepid female reporter will confront man and the spreaders of their kind of virus. Stop spreading man and the causes of man.

Knowingly or not, you have seen the phenomenon of “manspreading” in nature. You’ve probably been its unwitting victim. The slow (or rapid) creep of a knee into your own by a guy (indeed, it is always a guy) taking up more than his fair share of real estate on public transit…

Left unchecked, the scourge of “manspreading” will proliferate like algae…

Men are pond life.

The MTA is planning a campaign to raise awareness about mass transit etiquette, but we still have a long way to go. The next time you get on the train, look down at your own knees—how far apart are they? If there’s space enough for a litter of puppies or a celebrity selfie group shot, you are taking up too much space. Pull it in. Don’t make us find you.

If a woman with a tape measure approaches you, spread wider. Do the splits. Go knees akimbo.

 

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Posted: 21st, December 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment


Girl asks 100 guys for sex… what do you think happens?

sex asking

THERE’S a common line of thinking that suggests that men catcall women because they’d be totally up for a request for sex from a nice lady.

Well, there’s a video of a girl asking random guys for sex in a social experiment which addresses that very thing!

You’re sat there, thinking that an attractive woman asked loads of men and they all simply shrugged, said ‘sure!’, whipped their trousers off and said ‘here? Now? I’m game!’

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Posted: 30th, July 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)


Women’s lingerie, on sale for men to wear

new-hp-hero.jpg.jpg

IS Mangerie a thing? If not, it is now as a company called HommeMystere has decided to make women’s lingerie for men. They’re offering things like thongs and padded bras, and hope to change the landscape of men’s underwear.

The Australian firm said their under garments include ‘comfortable men’s panties that really do fit, bra straps that don’t fall off the shoulder, teddies that don’t ride up halfway through the night and quality soft fabrics that feel great for all day wear’.

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Posted: 29th, April 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


Men’s underwear sales slacken with age

MEN. Do you buy underwear? Do you think the undies in your drawers never get old. Are you married to good woman or the son of a fine parent who just replaces you revolting old guntees with fresher ones? Business Insider’s Sam Ro looks at the data:

HS Dent, an economic forecasting firm, compiled Census data on spending behavior and presented them as a series of demand curves. The curves measure average annual expenditure for a given product over the age of the consumer.

The loungewear curve includes Hugh Hefner’s housecoats. Although what’s under it may be prone to sagging.

 

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Posted: 4th, December 2012 | In: Fashion | Comment