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Transfer Balls: Arsenal sell Giroud to Chelsea for less than agreed price

Arsenal have yet to hand over the £60m it’ll take for Borussia Dortmund forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to join them. The BBC says the move “hinges” on two other transfers:  Aubameyang to Arsenal, Giroud to Chelsea and Batshuayi to Dortmund.

We’re told Arsenal want £35, for Giroud, 31.

 

 

No they don’t, says The Metro, which declares: “Chelsea agree to sign Olivier Giroud from Arsenal for £15m.”

They have? No. Of course not. That’s the dire Metro, which can’t even get Giroud’s age right:

 

 

 

Football365 then gets itself in a mess over what words mean. Can you “give” a man to another – slavery? – and get £15m in return?

 

 

The Daily Express is also confused. It’s not “agreed” if it’s in ‘inverted commas’. But it is agreed if the story states: “Chelsea have agreed a deal with Arsenal to sign Oliver Giroud.”

 

 

The source for every one of these scoops seems to be Gianlica Dimario. Who he and why is his word taken as fact? He says he’s a “journalist registered with the Court of Milan”. On his website, we read (through the wonder of Google Translate):

With Dzeko, Chelsea has identified a new target for the attack. This is Olivier Giroud , for whom the Blues have found an agreement with Arsenal on the basis of 15 million pounds plus bonuses. The negotiation will be defined as soon as Wenger’s team will define every detail with Aubameyang and Borussia Dortmund will have found a substitute for Gabonese, which could be Batshuayi.

 

The utter balls is underlined by the Express, which on the same page as its report that Giroud to Chelsea for £15m is a done deal, declares this morning:

Giroud crunch talks
06.15: Chelsea are expected to re-open negotiations with Arsenal today regarding the sale Olivier Giroud, according to Sky Sports expert Guillem Balague.

Balague says that Chelsea had an initial offer of £20million turned down by the Gunners.

“I read Giroud could go to Chelsea for £15m but I believe #CFC last offer was £20m and was rejected by #AFC,” Balague wrote on Twitter.

“No negotiations took place after that rejection.

“But tomorrow contacts could be renewed.”

To recap: Giroud has joined Chelsea for £5m less than a bid Arsenal rejected?

Oh, and in the Sun we read that Chelsea are targeting Tottenham’s Spanish striker Fernando Llorente, 32.

Fact: Giroud has not signed for Chelsea.

 

Posted: 30th, January 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, News, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment


Kenneth Branagh and the actor formerly known as Michelle Pfeiffer star in journalism horror show

Michael Pfeiffer

 

Copy and past news now, as the Metro tells us that Kenneth Branagh is starring in a remake of Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express. On set he was delighted to see fellow star “Michael Pfeiffer“. Any relation to screen goddess Michelle Pfeiffer? Dunno. But the rest of the busy tabloid media also salute the great Michael Pfeiffer:

Daily Express:

Speaking with ITV’s Lorraine, he said: “There was a lot of mutual respect.

“The first time they met on the platform I was on the train watching them all getting ready to come on. They were so sort of shy with each other, it was like the first day at school… Then the first person up the steps was Michael Pfeiffer and she had tears in her eyes and I thought, ‘Christ, we haven’t started and she’s already upset!’ And I said, ‘What’s wrong?’ and she said, ‘I just met Judi Dench!’”

Daily Mail:

He told Lorraine: ‘There was a lot of mutual respect. The first time they met on the platform I was on the train watching them all getting ready to come on. They were so sort of shy with each other, it was like the first day at school. ‘Then the first person up the steps was Michael Pfeiffer and she had tears in her eyes and I thought: “Christ, we haven’t started and she’s already upset!”

Daily Mirror:

“They were so sort of shy with each other, it was like the first day at school, then the first person up the steps was Michael Pfeiffer and she had tears in her eyes and I thought, ‘Christ, we haven’t started and she’s already upset!’ and I said, ‘What’s wrong?’ and she said, ‘I just met Judi Dench!’”

He added: “Judi Dench is the secret to casting movies basically, you cast her and she’s an actor magnet.”

 

murder on the orient express kenneth branagh michelle pfeiffer fail

murder on the orient express kenneth branagh michelle pfeiffer fail

 

murder on the orient express kenneth branagh michelle pfeiffer fail

 

murder on the orient express kenneth branagh michelle pfeiffer fail

 

murder on the orient express kenneth branagh michelle pfeiffer fail

 

 

Isn’t modern journalism great. (Copy and paste at your leisure.)

 

Posted: 17th, November 2017 | In: Celebrities, Film, News, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez isn’t cryptic he’s just spouting nonsense

Transfer balls: Is Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez speaking in code or just trite attempts at aphorisms?

The Daily Mirror has been watching Sanchez’s Instagram account. It tells readers: ‘Arsenal fans beg Alexis Sanchez to stay as he posts cryptic message saying his “heart cries” amid intense speculation.’ Never mind the pathetic sight of fans begging a man to remain at a club he wants to leave, and take a look at his words. Says Sanchez: ”

 

 

Ya tengo 80 años 😊y Sabes porque en mi cara siempre hay una sonrisa ?
Porque la vida me enseño que siempre hay que buscarle el lado bueno a las cosas y recordar que “TODO PASA POR ALGO”. Mantén tu sonrisa siempre aunque tú corazón llore

Slap Sanchez’s wods though the Mirror’s automatic translator and you get:

“I’m already 80 years old. And you know why there’s always a smile on my face? Because life taught me that you always have to look for the good side to things and remember that everything goes on something.

“Keep your smile always, even if your heart cries.”

In short: always look on the bright side of life. Not a single word about Arsenal. But to the Mirror it means something about his leaving Arsenal.

Utter balls, of course. And it’s balls that keeps on coming. The Metro has been at the forefront of taking Sanchez’s Instagram feed and dishing it up news.

6 March 2017: “Alexis Sanchez responds to Arsenal speculation with cryptic ‘warrior’ Instagram post”

Sanchez says: “The true warrior fights not because he hates the ones in front of him, but because he loves those behind him. 🔴⚪️ Let’s go Gunners.The only failure is not trying.”

Translation: Hope we win!

27 Apr 2017: “Alexis Sanchez posts cryptic Instagram message amid transfer speculation”

He says: “You’ll notice that what today appears to be a sacrifice, will end up being the greatest achievement of your life’ said Sanchez.”

Translation: Do your best!

12 May 2017: “Alexis Sanchez posts cryptic Instagram message amid Bayern Munich and Chelsea transfer links”

He says: “If you want to know your past, you need to look at your present to get results. If you want to know your future look what you do now to achieve everything you want.”

Translation: Glad we won!

It’s not cryptic is it. It’s just the sort of therapeutic guff you read in self-help books – or ‘news sources’, as the tabloids would put it.

Posted: 16th, June 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Liverpool in for 7 Dortmund players (and one plays for Manchester United)

The Metro reports Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp as having said “nothing stopping Liverpool grabbing Marco Reus and Mats Hummels”.

Is that really what he said? Because last January the Metro reported that Reus had agreed to join Real Madrid – which he hadn’t done:

 

reus liverpool

 

That balls was written by Jamie Sanderson, who is also the author of this latest news:

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-29 at 13.10.05

 

Sanderson adds:

Klopp has revealed he could sign the pair, because there’s no clause in his exit contract from Dortmund preventing him.

 

He could buy any Dortmund player for Liverpool, then. Indeed, in another article the Metro says Klopp wants to bring Neven Subotic to Liverpool.

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-29 at 13.13.02

 

That’s three Dortmund players. The Express spots Klopp’s shopping cart and adds Mats Hummels, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Sven Bender and Ilkay Gundogan.

Can it be that Klopp will buy seven Dortmund players? We soon learn that the manager said:

…there could be a possibility – if we need a player then we could try. At this moment there is nothing to talk about. But there is no agreement that we can’t do business with Dortmund. There’s also no agreement that we can’t sell players to Dortmund!

One problem is that Hummels plays for Manchester United. He doesn’t? But we heard that he signed for them. We read that news in the Metro:

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-29 at 13.18.30

 

 

Such are the facts…

Posted: 29th, November 2015 | In: Liverpool, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Media Balls: Tevez and Bony replace Aguero in Manchester City team

Update for anyone who gets their news in the Metro: Carlos Tevez is not playing for Manchester City in their Champions’ League match with Juventus, for whom he also does no longer play for.

 

Screen Shot 2015-09-15 at 09.35.19

Posted: 15th, September 2015 | In: Sports | Comment


Robin Williams: Mail, Express, Metro, Mirror And Sun Turn Killer Depression Into A Sensational Suicide

Media outside the home of Robin Williams in the town of Tiburon, California where the actor/comedian was found dead in a suspected suicide at the age of 63.

Media outside the home of Robin Williams in the town of Tiburon, California where the actor/comedian was found dead

 

SO. How have the British Press reacted to the news that Robin Williams died? At first they lamented the passing of a favourite entertianer. Then Peter Samson told Sun readers that Williams had taken his own life. He stated this with the coroners court was stil investigating.

Mind, the mental health charity providing “advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem – We campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding” – issued a media guide:

Robin Williams: Media briefing for journalists

As this story unfolds and more details are revealed about the circumstances surrounding Robin Williams’ death, we are issuing a brief reminder about guidance on media reporting around suicide and in particular a reminder that reporting specific details about the method a person uses can be very triggering for others experiencing suicidal thoughts. We urge you to avoid excessive detail about method of suicide and to report responsibly and sensitively. Evidence shows that copycat suicides can occur as a result of extensive media coverage – please avoid explicit details and sensationalist reporting.

The Samartians has more advice:

Samaritans recommends:

Avoid giving too much detail. Care should be taken when giving any detail of a suicide method. While saying someone hanged themselves or took an overdose is acceptable, detail about the type of ligature or type and quantity of tablets used is not…

Avoid any mention of the method in headlines as this inadvertently promotes and perpetuates common methods of suicide…

Vulnerable individuals may identify with a person who has died, or with the circumstances in which a person took their own life. For example, combining references to life circumstances, say a debt problem or job loss, and descriptions of an easy-to-copy suicide method in the same report, could put at greater risk people who are vulnerable as a result of financial stress.
Never say a method is quick, easy, painless or certain to result in death. Try to avoid portraying anything that is immediate or easy to imitate – especially where the ingredients or tools involved are readily available.

Avoid over-simplification. Approximately 90 per cent of people who die by suicide have a diagnosed or undiagnosed mental health problem at the time of death. Over-simplification of the causes or perceived ‘triggers’ for a suicide can be misleading and is unlikely to reflect accurately the complexity of suicide. For example, avoid the suggestion that a single incident, such as loss of a job, relationship breakdown or bereavement, was the cause.

Some suicides attract intense media scrutiny. However, where possible, refrain from positioning a story too prominently, for example on a front page or as a lead bulletin, as this may unduly influence vulnerable people…

Take extra care with the selection and placement of imagery linked to a report about suicide. For example, question if a large or prominently placed picture of the person who has died is necessary.

And the Press respsonded thus:

 

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Depression is an illness. It can be a killer. What other illness would get this revolting treatment?

Posted: 13th, August 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Peaches Geldof: Death Inspires Metro To Produce The Most Horrendous Front Page Of All Time

PEACHES Geldof has died. The vivacious, fun, entertaining and smart daughter of the late Paul Yates and Bob Geldof has died aged 25. She leaves behind a husband and two young sons.

So. How does the Metro newspaper report on the death of a young woman and her bereft family?

 

peaches geldof front page metro

 

What mind thought that was a good front page?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comments (2)