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Posts Tagged ‘Michael Douglas’

Surprisingly, Catherine Zeta Jones splits up with the elderly Michael Douglas

Actors Michael Douglas, left, and Catherine Zeta-Jones arrive at the Oscars at the Dolby Theatre on Sunday Feb. 24, 2013, in Los Angeles. (Photo by John Shearer/Invision/AP)

NO-ONE saw Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas getting together. He, older than Mumm-Ra, she, precious and dead-eyed, made for one of the most unusual couples in Hollywood.

With huge surprise, it turns out that they are taking a break from their marriage.

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Posted: 2nd, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Cunnilingus did not cure Michael Douglas’ cancer – doctor’s prescription invalid

Hollywood actress Catherine Zeta Jones and her husband Michael Douglas, with their children Dylan and Carys, arrive at Buckingham Palace in London where she will be made a CBE by the Prince of Wales.

CLARIFICATION: Michael Douglas did not get oral cancer form oral sex. Sure, he told the Guardian that his cancer had been brought on not by his smoking and drinking, rather by HPV (human papillomavirus), but he was mistaken. He also said cunnilingus was the best medicine. Was that wrong, too?

The 68-year-old actor’s spokesman Allen Burry tells the world:

“No. He [Douglas] did not say oral sex was the cause of his cancer.”

Or as Douglas said:

“…this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”

So. Do we take the plain wrapper off Catherine Zeta Jones’s vagina or not?


Posted: 5th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Michael Douglas: oral sex gave me cancer (but not at 69)

American actor Michael Douglas smiles as he watches from the Ferrari pits during the qualifying session at the Monaco racetrack in Monaco, Saturday, May 25, 2013. The Formula one race will be held on Sunday. (AP Photo/Luca Bruno)

MICHAEL Douglas, self-declared former sex addict, star of Fatal Attraction and husband to Catherine Zeta Jones says he ‘caught’ throat cancer from oral sex.

In reply to the question as to whether his cancer was brought on by drinking and smoking, he replied:

“No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus… I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”

Michael Douglas is 68. He should have waited until he was 69 to share.

PS – He did not get it from Romancing the Stone (geddit?!)

Spotter: The Guardian

Posted: 3rd, June 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Michael Douglas Is Dead: Well, Sort Of

MICHAEL Douglas has cancer. He does not have long to live. He is getting stronger every day. The US tabloids take a look at his condition. Hmmmmm… We may need a third opinion. What says you, National Enquirer?

Posted: 8th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Catherine Zeta Jones And Michael Douglas Do Cardiff’s Children’s Hospital: Pictures

SO. There were Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas at the Children’s Hospital for Wales in Cardiff. All the nippers were happy to see Douglas and Whatshername. The kids are big fans.

The film star couple appealed for donations to help complete the next stage of work four years after they officially opened the hospital.

Good of them to give time and effort to promote a good cause. The grandstanding, vanity and aggrandizing are there, but if people’s lives can be helped by something as vapid as fame, then so be it. We can argue the rights and wrongs another time…

Also, Zeta Jones’ face (40) is such that she looks younger and a dead rigner for Big Brother strumpet Imogen Thomas (27). Best take care, Michael Douglas. Ask for names and proof of ID.


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Catherine Zeta Jones with Sean Kelly, aged nine, (left) and Liam Barker, aged 13, in the children's play room, during a visit to the Children's Hospital for Wales in Cardiff, where she and her husband Michael Douglas met staff and children.

Posted: 23rd, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Cannes In Pictures: Carey Mulligan Blinded By Michael Douglas’s Lynx Effect

CAREY Mulligan and Michael Douglas stood shoulder-to-teeth at the screening of
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps at the Grand Auditorium Lumiere during the Cannes Film Festival. If money is an insomniac, it’s most likely it’s not to be trusted. Sleep depravation is a well known torture technique – a bit like listening to Douglas talking about his sex life. Mulligan would do well to keep her wits about her.and watch out for his flashing armpits – and his Lynx effect…


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Carey Mulligan and Michael Douglas depart after the screening of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps at the Grand Auditorium Lumiere during the Cannes Film Festival, France.

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Posted: 15th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Cameron Douglas: Michael Douglas, Crystal Meth, Zeta Jones And A Wild Ocelot

THE image is of Michael Douglas, his first wife Deandra De Morrell Douglas, and their only child Cameron.

You’ve probably been reading about Cameron a lot in the last few months…  since his arrest on charges of trying to traffic crystal meth from California to New York.

His girlfriend was later busted for trying to smuggle drugs to him while he was under house arrest at his mother’s $5.5 million dollar digs on New York’s upper east side.  That’s the price she paid for the place five years ago.

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Posted: 9th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment