ministry of justice | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘ministry of justice’

Anorak Scoops The, Er, Daily Star

ANORAK scoops the tabloids yet again:

Islamic Terrorists Audition For Dirty Dozen In British Jail…

HERE’S a little tale in Anorak’s occasional series on the life and times of long-term
sentence terrorists. (See Terrorist Attack{tics}).
It may make you feel proud to be British. I doubt it.

Following three separate incidents involving Muslim terrorist life sentence prisoners in Frankland High Security Prison on the outskirts of Durham City, weekend reports say the newly-formed Ministry of Justice is secretly considering a Muslim only prison.

It’s all there

Posted: 29th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (5)

Ministers Move To Electrocute Sex Offenders

YOU join us in a caravan in Rhyl, where a man is strapped to a chair. There are wires. A figure sits to the rear.

Figure: “Are you a pervert.”

Man: “No.”

It’s the Ministry of Justice’s pilot scheme that uses polygraph tests on sex offenders living in the community. Wires are attached to genitals and the offenders’ blood flow monitored.

We need homogeny in all, the fear being that one tester’s voice will cause a reaction different to another’s. For such reasons Victoria Beckham’s voice has been ruled out as a “Menace To Public Safety” and the voices of all American women are being used as a sexual cosh to quell all and any lustful thoughts.

The voice settled upon is that of Jacqui Smith, it being the pervert’s Voice Of Choice.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)