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Save Your Child From A House Fire In Missouri And Get A Tasin’ And A Jailin’

Ryan Miller

IN case you’re wondering: apparently it is illegal in Missouri to save a toddler from a burning house, and cops will taser you, cuff you and haul you off to jail if you try.

Ryan Miller discovered this early on Halloween morning, when an electrical fire started in the house he shared with his wife and three-year-old stepson. Officers shot Miller with a stun gun as he tried re-entering the burning house to save the little boy. (There’s some dispute over exactly how often Miller got Tased; police say two times while Miller’s mother says three, twice after Miller was already in handcuffs and once after he was already in the police car.)

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Posted: 8th, November 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

Four Girls One Cup: Missouri High School girls test their aims

urine missouri school

WHEN Monett High School girls’ basketball team took on the ladies of Cassville High School in southwest Missouri, the Cassville players poured a cup of urine into a water cooler used by Monett players.

A letter to Monett parents said that four Cassville players urinated into one cup. But, oddly, only one player’s urine was selected to be tipped into the water cooler. What happend to the other urine? Did it not meet exacting standards? Did it contain traces of illicit and misused drugs?

Cassville school leaders have apologised and the miscreants ticked off.

And, what with his being America, Monett school administrators add:

“Our understanding at this time is that the individual whose urine was used will be undergoing tests to determine if any health risks are present. We will pass along any information we receive.”

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Posted: 30th, March 2013 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Sugar Plum Fairy Sacked For Swearing During Drugs Test

LAURA Coppinger will not be playing the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy in St. Charles, Missouri’s Main Street Christmas Traditions celebration. She lost her plum job for swearing as she “accidentally” flushed the toilet just before a routine drugs test. (What performance -enhancing drugs does an amateur fairy take – eggnog?)

The Christmas Traditions Code of Conduct states “Christmas characters don’t know naughty words“.

As the unemployed Sugar Plum Fairy tells it:

“Out of pure frustration with myself, I said a curse word. I made a mistake and I know I made a mistake and I’m willing to apologize for it. I wish they would just be a little more reasonable. I would love for them to say you know what we made a big mistake we love you and we actually would love to have you back this year for Sugar Plum Fairy. In a perfect world I would have my job.”

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Posted: 16th, November 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Delbert Franklin Click Is Our Happy Mug Shot Of The Day

DELBERT Franklin Click is our Mug Shot of The Day. Click was arrested in Pulaski County, Missouri, for  fighting in a bar.

“The bartender related that the male had entered the bar and began yelling at people and had struck one other patron with his closed fist. A small fight then began and the fight ended when the bartender struck the male subject with a baseball bat.”

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Posted: 25th, June 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Hitler Comes Out In Support Of McCain, Obama Supporters React With Marker Pens

DON’T bet against John McCain winning, not if Adolf Hitler’s got anything to do with it.

A US President needs two things: a death cult and a fan to mock him up as Adolf Hitler

McCain has a death cult. Sarah Palin has a death cult. Even her children have a death cult. And Obama, well, he has not so much death cult as a base. Joe Biden has no death cult, and given his absence from the debate, he shows few signs of life let alone death.

So the McCain-Palin ticket is ahead. And now we learn that McCain is Hitler.

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Posted: 5th, November 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (22)

Missouri Racists Against Obama The Jihadi Messiah

BARACK Obama. Do you attack his race or his religion, or lack of it. It’s a tough call. Or do live in Missouri you create an extreme poster to counter his politics? 

And which are scarier – Obama’s foes or friends…

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Posted: 13th, October 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (6)