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When sport gets dirty: the sports stars who urinated on the pitch

WHEN sport gets dirty


‘Wicketleaks’ – the story (leaked by two Australian journalists) that England cricketers urinated on the hallowed Oval square after an evening of victory celebration – has apparently been resolved by an apology from the players involved.

However, high-minded criticism heaped upon them by the likes of Shane Warne has focused on the idea that they have in some way ‘disrespected’ the sport in general and Oval’s tradition in particular. (This, remember is the ground that was until recently named the Foster’s Oval, after a commercially manufactured brand of Australian piss.)

But at least they, like Monty Panesar earlier in the month, did not perform their al fresco urination during the game itself. The same, sadly, cannot be said for exponents of less classy games.

David Fleming wrote the seminal article on sporting incontinence.

In it, he cites a survey by the Oklahoma Foundation for Digestive Research, which found that 72 per cent of conditioned athletes have suffered from lower-intestine distress.

And that’s without even considering the weak bladders.

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Posted: 31st, August 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Monty Panesar: Bothers women and urinates on bouncers

File photo dated 28/07/2013 of Sussex's Monty Panesar. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Wednesday August 7, 2013. Sussex have launched an investigation after England cricketer Monty Panesar received a fixed penalty notice from police for being "drunk and disorderly" following an incident at a Brighton nightclub. See PA story CRICKET England. Photo credit should read: Chris Ison/PA Wire

CRICKETERS are nice aren’t they? Not like those awful footballers with their grotesque wealth, dreadful taste in cars and super-injunctions. They play sports in their sweaters and take breaks for cups of tea and polite applause.

Right? Wrong.

Cricketers are the masters of deception, sledging opponents at the crease, turning up rat-arsed at Downing Street and, in the case of Monty Panesar, urinating on bouncers at a nightclub.

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Posted: 7th, August 2013 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Monty Panesar’s Flying Circus, and the other greatest sporting endings

MONTY Panesar’s Flying Circus, and the other greatest sporting endings

Cricket - Third Test - New Zealand v England - Day Five - Eden Park
As Monty Panesar dived comically to slide his bat over the popping crease and set up England’s great escape against New Zealand in Auckland, he and his teammates provided a finale worthy of the ten greatest sporting climaxes of all time. And competition for places is nothing if not fierce…

Cricket first, and in 2009 Monty was of course involved at the business end of the first test match to be played at Cardiff, when England clung on to save the game, and set up their second successive home Ashes series victory. Better still, though, was…

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Posted: 27th, March 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Monty Panesar is appealing

England spinner Monty Panesar has been fined 25 per cent of his match fee for excessive appealing during the fifth test against the West Indies. Stupid boy.

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Posted: 10th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)