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Posts Tagged ‘movies’

Psycho slashed: Alfred Hitchcock’s classic in 24 seconds, 60 seconds and 11seconds

psycho shower

DOUGLAS Gordon’s version of Psycho last 24 hours. Alfred Hitchcock’s classic film also inspired Chris Bors to adapt the movie. He compacted the action into 24 seconds:

24 Second Psycho appropriates the entire Alfred Hitchcock moviePsycho and condenses it into twenty-four seconds. Tweaking the concept of artist Douglas Gordons 24 Hour Psycho, where Hitchcocks masterpiece was slowed-down to a crawl, here the process is reversed to accommodate society’s increasingly short attention span. Seeing Hitchcocks most lasting contribution to cinema flash before your eyes in a matter of seconds represents our new information age where culture is packaged for easy consumption at a breakneck pace.

But could the film be show faster? Yes. All hail Joe Frese’s  Sixty Second Psycho:

Maybe it can all be surmised in an 11-second gif?

psycho gif

 

Posted: 1st, July 2013 | In: Film | Comment


21 Movie Barcodes – classic films in a single image

MOVIE Barcode compresses all the frames of a movie into a single picture. Can you tell the films apart? Yes. If you look hard enough what at first appeared specious, gets to be intriguing. Those aren’t swatches of 1970s raffia wallpaper. Those are films. 

 

When Harry Met Sally
movie bar codes

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Posted: 29th, June 2013 | In: Film | Comment


Exploding actresses – when actresses in famous films explode – volumes 1, 2 and 3

exploding actresses

WHEN actresses explode, aka Exploding Actresses is brilliant:

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Posted: 25th, June 2013 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment


Emma Watson won’t be getting really naked in Fifty Shades of Grey

emma watson 50 shades

FIFTY Shades of Grey completely took over the world, giving people the chance to indulge themselves in the darker side of Mills and Boon and revel in some of the most clunky euphemisms for the vagina ever committed to a page. All good fun and a rather sweet way of getting your rocks off, compared to brutal 3 minute internet clips of tattooed LA starlets getting ravaged by men hung like wheelie-bins.

A film adaptation of EL James’ ‘Fifty Shades’ was inevitable and 99% of the world’s press rubbed their thighs with mucky fever, talking openly about which famous actress they’d most like to see getting spanked on the silver screen.

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Posted: 18th, March 2013 | In: Books, Film, Reviews | Comments (2)


Why Disney buying Star Wars & Co, is a good thing

NERDS, geeks, sci-fi nuts and nostalgia enthusiasts have been kicking through the air, swearing and cussing at the news of Disney’s new ownership of Star Wars. Disney, it seems, are going to spoil the Star Wars franchise and the rest of the Lucasfilm canon.

“Obviously I’ve been talking about retiring for several years now,” George Lucas said. “I wanted to get into sort of another stage of life where I’m not in the film business anymore, where I don’t have to run a corporation. It occurred to me one day that the perfect person to run the company was [Lucasfilm co-chair] Kathy [Kennedy]. It’s just such a perfect fit, and I felt that I really wanted to put the company somewhere in a larger entity that would protect it. Disney is a huge corporation; they have all kinds of capabilities and facilities. There’s a lot of strength to be gained by this.”

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Posted: 31st, October 2012 | In: Film | Comment


Charlie Brown and Snoopy to be ruined in new film

HOW do you improve on perfection? Simple answer is that you can’t. So, when dealing with something that is absolutely perfect in every way, you’d better tread carefully around it right?

This is the problem facing 20th Century Fox who are going to make a new feature length animation of Peanuts, the strip that gave us Charles Schulz’s Charlie Brown and Snoopy (and all the other brilliant characters of course. Fight amongst yourselves in your bid to decide who is best).

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Posted: 10th, October 2012 | In: Film | Comment


Arnold Schwarzenegger finally comes clean and admits to rather liking Hitler

FOR years, Arnold Schwarzenegger has denied that he ever liked Adolf Hitler. Fair enough you might think. Who wants to be the public figure who gives credit to one of history’s greatest monsters? However, now, he’s ready to talk about his admiration of Hitler because, effectively, everyone has a pretty low opinion of him anyway (especially after the whole secret love child with a nanny thing).

In his autobiography (called ‘Total Recall’, natch), Big Arnie says:

“I philosophized that only a few men are born to lead, while the rest of humanity is born to follow, and went from that into discussing history’s great conquerors and dictators,” Schwarznegger writes about a discussion with ‘Pumping Iron’ director George Butler. “I admired Hitler’s speaking ability, though not what he did with it.”

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Posted: 8th, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


The Hobbit trailer is here! Sadsacks rejoice!

THE Lord of the Rings trilogy were a lousy bunch of films that were akin to Star Wars, episodes 1-3: The MTV Unplugged version. Bad CGI, too much clunky dialogue and politics and, worst of all, roughly 80 years too long. Still, they were furiously successful and spawned fans so ardent that I’m probably going to be killed in my sleep for not liking them.

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Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Film | Comment


Adel, and the gnawing predictability of a Bond theme

NEED a Bond theme? Get someone with a big, booming voice, right? Not quite. Nancy Sinatra did the best one and she’s hardly operatic. Either way, these days, it’s all about divas who can belt one out. Simon Cowell has probably been shoving Leona Lewis in the faces of James Bond producers since she won X Factor.

However, unsurprisingly, Adele’s name is being floated around for Skyfall, the 23rd Bond film. That’s because she can pelt a song out AND just happens to have sold a gazillion records.

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Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pluck the monkey-fightin’ censorship! movie swearing dubbed for TV

WHEN the swear words are dubbed for TV things can get ridiculous. Pluck the monkey-fightin’ censorship! (Language is NSFW):

Posted: 10th, September 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Do not adjust your brains: Van Damme talks about his affair with Kylie

SOMETIMES a headline alludes to something, only to avoid delivering. ‘CHERYL COLE’S ENJOYS THREE IN A BED PUSSYFEST’ could well be about a picture she’s tweeted of herself, in bed with two farting felines. Well, this headline is giving it to you straight. Jean Claude Van Damme is saying that he’s had sex with Kylie Minogue. Over to JCVD:

“Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair. Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. I would have been abnormal not to have had an affair, she’s so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming.

“She wasn’t acting like a big star. I know Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She’s a great lady.”

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Posted: 13th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


UN banned Sacha Baron Cohen from filming at UN because he might ‘upset dictators’

SACHA BARON COHEN is not a man that appears from behind his disguises very often, but he’s peered out from beneath his comedy facial fuzz to talk about his latest creation, Admiral General Aladeen.

And during an interview with the BBC, the Ali G and Borat star made an astonishing claim! He said: “The interesting thing is, when we asked to shoot inside the United Nations, they actually refused. We said ‘this is a pro-democracy movie’. They said ‘that’s the problem – we represent a lot of dictators, and they are going to be very angry by this portrayal of them so you can’t shoot in there’.”

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Posted: 22nd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Simpletons thrilled as Anchorman 2 is announced by Will Ferrell

WHILE there is nothing quite as funny as an unexpected fart, there’s comedy that’s so puerile that you have to wonder what kind of person actively seeks it out and enjoys it. Who on Earth watches Adam Sandler films? Plankton? Equally as bad, but oddly, given the credible thumbs up, is the awful Will Ferrell who has spoiled everyone’s year by announcing the return of Ron Burgundy in Anchorman 2.

Will Ferrell, dressed in character and playing jazz flute, stopped by Conan O’Brien’s talk show last night to break the news that Paramount Pictures has officially greenlit a sequel to 2004 comedy Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

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Posted: 29th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Robert Pattinson quits Twilight franchise (Berlin photos)

TWEENS! Prepare to cry all the water out of your body. Why? Robert Pattinson – officially the dullest human on the face of this Earth – is not going to play Edward Cullen anymore in the Twilight films. Cut THAT into your arm with your Hello Kitty geometry set.

That’s right kiddies – if Stephenie Meyer writes more Twilight books and they’re made into movies, R Pattz won’t be involved.

Despite being roughly as charismatic as an old Vileda Supermop in a skip, Pattz isn’t daft enough to diss the franchise. Rather, he’s just thinking logistics. That’s because he’s so criminally boring.

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Posted: 20th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Naomi Watts to star in car crash biopic of Lady Di

SHE was the Queen Of Some Of Our Hearts! That’s right – Princess Diana or Lady Di – was a much loved woman, despite the fact she’d dole out doe-eyed to starving children while wearing thousands of pounds worth of clothing. She offered very little to the world, but everyone agreed that she was too pretty to be marrying Prince ‘Extreme Wealth’ Charles.

When she died, most of the world was shocked and then moved on. However, there was a strong grief-tourist following who could never quite let go of England’s Rose.

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Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


George Lucas: quitting movie making to make Howard The Duck: Strikes Back

BEECHAWAWA! Have you heard that George Lucas is quitting the movie industry?! Kinda. Of course, many of you could well be pleased to see the back of him thanks to his endless tinkering with the Star Wars franchise. Last year, everyone lost their bap when he decided to make Darth Vader shout “Nooooo!” at the climax of Return of the Jedi.

Some people pretty much saw that as Lucas deliberately trying to destroy a childhood or a million.

And now, in an upcoming issue of The New York Times Magazine, you’ll discover that George Lucas has decided enough is enough and fully intends to retire from making big-budget feature films, including and especially any more Star Wars flicks.

“Why would I make any more,” he says, “when everybody yells at you all the time and says what a terrible person you are?”

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Posted: 18th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Vanessa Hudgens Wants Young People To Watch More Films

YOU may now her as That Disney Girl Who Appeared Naked On Your Internet After Some Self Taken Pictures Were Leaked, but Vanessa Hudgens is actually a serious thespian. And don’t you forget it.

And she really cares about the art of film making. So much so, she’s encouraging young people to watch a wide variety of films.

Get that young people? She wants you to watch more movies! What’s that? You wish people would actually make something worth watching once in a while? Fair enough.

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Posted: 16th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Benedict Cumberbatch to play Khan in Star Trek 2

SHERLOCK is what Benedict Cumberbatch is best known for, but soon, he’ll be tackling the legacy of the mighty Ricardo Montalban (mighty mainly because of his funny name and the fact he wore a false chest in The Wrath Of Khan and starred in Crossroads) as he plays Khan in the new Star Trek movie.

Yessum, Cumberbatch has been cast in J.J. Abrams’ sequel to his 2009 “Star Trek” rehash.

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Posted: 5th, January 2012 | In: Film | Comment


Porn Job ‘Terrifies’ Amanda Seyfried: The Linda Lovelace Crymax

WHEN Lindsay Lohan got the chop from the Linda Lovelace biopic for being a big, tragic mess, everyone wondered who would take her gig. That’s because everyone wants to watch a film about porn because it’s likely to feature a lot of sex-scenes but the lighting will be much better than the grot you watch online.

Don’t pretend you don’t.

Anyway, LiLo’s Mean Girls co-star – Amanda Seyfried – has got the job and she’s pretty frightened about the whole Deep Throat thing.

Amanda told ABCNews.com: “It’s going to be really hard and kind of terrifying at the same time.”

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Posted: 9th, December 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Tom Cruise Drops Top Gun 2 Rumour Bomb

SCIENTOLOGY may well be making everyone dislike Tom Cruise, but he’s still a big celebrity noisemaker. And now, while touting his latest Mission: Impossible film, he’s decided to make everyone sit up and waggle their ears by saying that there’s a Top Gun sequel in the offing.

In fact, it’s ‘being worked on’.

Tom told MTV.com he is still involved, saying:

“I hope we can figure this out to go do it again. If we can find a story that we all want to do, we all want to make a film that is in the same kind of tone as the other one and shoot it in the same way as we shot Top Gun… We’re working on it.”

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Posted: 8th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Brad Pitt Helps Suicidal Fan At Screening Of His Film By Quoting The Little Book Of Calm

HOLLYWOOD is full of idiots and simpletons, but Brad Pitt seems like a good enough chap. And that idea was only furthered when he had some supportive words for a suicidal fan following a special screening of his new movie, Moneyball.

Was the fan suicidal because ‘Moneyball’ is so gaspingly dreadful?

At the Q&A session, Pitt heard how an aspiring actor had been struggling with suicidal thoughts earlier in the day and that, unfathomably, the baseball biopic gave him “a renewed sense of hope”.

A source told USmagazine.com:

“Brad said ‘Look, man, life is up and down, it’s a vicious cycle, but you have to go through it and deal with that. You can be down, but then you come back up again, and every failure can lead to success’.

“Brad handled the situation really well in front of several hundred people – it was a difficult moment that shocked everyone.”

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Posted: 2nd, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Hurray! Anchorman 2 Is Scrapped!

ANCHORMAN. It’s about as funny as watching an orphanage burn down. Disagree all you want because if you like Anchorman, you’re opinion on humour isn’t worth listening to. Hell, you shouldn’t even be trusted with the air you breathe.

Sorry.

And so, the good news. Star of Anchorman, Will Ferrell, has confirmed that plans for a sequel have been shelved. Ron Burgundy has told Sky News that Paramount Pictures don’t want to make a follow up.

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Posted: 14th, October 2011 | In: Film | Comments (2)


Robert Pattinson Isn’t Recording A Solo Album, Okay?

TEENS, we have bad news for you. Really bad news. Robert Pattinson isn’t recording an album. You’re just going to have to go back to your shirtless photographs of him, your Twilight DVDs and continue to save your pocket money until you can afford a vampire glitter tongue compressor.

See, US Weekly reported wrongly that RPattz was itching to get into a studio and record his own songs. Alas, sources said that poor ol’ Rob was torn between being a thesp and his love of music.

BUT THOSE STUPID SOURCES LIED!

Pattinson’s rep, says:

“The report is untrue. He is not working on an album right now.”

Please note the cute use of ‘right now’. That means, should Pattinson have a break from acting to pen his music, there’s a window for him to do it.

Sadly, for you fawning divs, you’ll have to settle for his previously recorded ‘Never Think‘ and ‘Let Me Sign‘ which appear on the Twilight soundtrack.

Yep – that is the music you hear and not the pounding a million pubescent hearts…

 

Posted: 21st, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Phoenix Nights To Shout Garlic Bread Pointlessly At You From The Silver Screen, Potentially

GARLIC BREAD! Hahaha! Garlic bread, of course, is the food that made everyone from outside of Bolton, believe that everyone from inside of Bolton thought it was the most glamorous, exotic thing they’d seen since the town was awarded a microwaveable chicken korma.

And now, Peter Kay is to potentially wheel out Phoenix Nights for everyone again, this time, on the big-screen.

It appears that Kay has already written the script and is currently looking at offers from film producers. Of course, the baffling success of the dreadful Inbetweeners movie hasn’t done any harm to Kay’s pitches.

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Posted: 16th, September 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Brave Liver (Chopped): Mel Gibson To Make Film About Jewish Hero Judah Maccabee

JEWS! What do you make of Mel Gibson? He’s not exactly been Mr Popular with the Jews after being accused of anti-semitism when resisting arrest a while ago.

If you don’t remember, Gibbo is alleged to have yelled:

“You motherfucker! I’m going to fuck you! Fucking Jews! The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”

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Posted: 9th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)