Posts Tagged ‘Music’
Tour for The Voice gets cancelled, unsurprisingly
REMEMBER The Voice? Do you remember the winner? Did you even hear the song? Chances are, the only thing you had to do with The Voice, was continual puzzlement at people on social networking, saying they fancied Will.I.Am. That’s right. There’s people out there who want to have sex with someone who looks like a Lego Tron figurine, complete with simpleton grin.
Of course, The Voice was the latest show to proudly proclaim that It Wasn’t The X Factor, which is a dangerous dance. That’s because The X Factor has a habit of being much better than competitors because it knows full well that it is little more than trashy television. It is to music was WWE is to professional sport. So when The Voice comes along, trying to pass itself as ‘more real’, it was asking for trouble.
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Posted: 19th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
R Kelly is a wanted man, again!
AMERICA’S IRS are currently at R Kelly’s door shouting “Can we get a toot, toot? Beep beep?” and asking where to go after the show and the after party because, if the R&B egomaniac doesn’t mind too much, he owes them a reported $5million and if he wouldn’t mind handing it over, that’d be great.
Real talk.
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Posted: 15th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
John Mayer hits out at Taylor Swift over world’s lamest beef track
HIP HOP is well known for well-publicised beefs, but now we’ve got one between two of the lamest, wettest humans in the known universe. You see, Taylor Swift wrote a thinly-veiled dig at former beau and all-round douche, John Mayer… and he’s not happy about it.
Of course, Mayer is known for his controversial views on exes and women. You may recall his referring to Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm”, which is nice. Well, now he’s all seriously upset by something one of his other flings has said about him.
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Rock Stars’ Yearbook photos – Who changed the most?
ROCK stars are great . They have long hair that gets thicker and thicker as their fame surges; perfect teeth that never go missing and groupies as a utility. But what did they look like when younger? Like this:
Posted: 6th, June 2012 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (3)
Justin Bieber suffers concussion because he’s stupid
NOT content with getting into a spot of bother with a paparazzo, allegedly duffing him up with his tiny fists, Justin Bieber has ended up concussed in Paris. Did the French sock him in the face because of his woeful music? Sadly not. JB ended up knocked-out for 15 seconds after he indulged himself in some grand stupidity.
Bieber was sparko after he ran into a glass wall backstage while in the French capital.
Immediately after the show, Bieber addressed the mishap, Tweeting: “im fine. just smacked my head and needed some water. all good.”
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Posted: 1st, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Justin Bieber could spend 6 months in prison, which would be funny
YOU know how Justin Bieber has been accused of roughhousing a photographer? Well, presumably hoping it would all go away like that girl who claimed she’d had his baby, this case is going to rumble on after it was reported that his case will be referred to the Los Angeles County District Attorney for possible criminal prosecution.
Hilariously, if he’s charged and convicted, he could go to the clink for a whole six months.
According to professional ambulance-chasers TMZ, the police have decided to refer the case to prosecutors.
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Posted: 30th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Mary J. Blige: Charity scammer?
SHE may have given soul music a shot in the arm by introducing it to hip hop, but Mary J. Blige could be in a mountain of trouble. Mary J. set up a charity, but sadly, rather than empowering women, it has been bouncing cheques, doesn’t have an office or a phone number and has seen hundreds of thousands of dollars of donations going walkies, allegedly.
Blige’s charity failed to file its tax returns as well as its annual state-charity registration, which means it has been slapped with two lawsuits. One claims that the group has swindled musicians regarding a 2011 fund-raising gala and another alleges the charity has defaulted on a $250,000 loan.
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Posted: 30th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Professor Green wants to throw everyone from TOWIE in prison
HE may not have gone through any kind of medical school or somesuch, but Professor Green is – remarkably – saying very wise things. This is despite the fact that, when he raps, he sounds like Cuddles the monkey if Orville got him in a headlock.
In an interview, he decided to stick the boot in on those loathsome chancers from The Only Way Is Essex. Obviously, this is the absolutely correct thing to do with those preening, varnished nincompoops with all the wherewithal of a bucket of fish-heads.
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Posted: 29th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Justin Bieber wanted by police after paparazzi gets hospitalised
WE’VE (that’d be the Royal ‘we’ of sneering pop-culture writers) all been waiting for Justin Bieber to go full-fat brat and, well, it seems to be happening. After being a squeaky clean, good ol’ Christian boy, he’s slated the girl who said he got her pregnant in public, he’s flipped the bird at photographers and said ‘everything happens for a reason’ about rape victims.
And now, he’s a wanted man by the police.
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Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
List-makers add Elton John to 2013 deathpool sheets
DEATH. As a dark Shadow, beckons his prey into the unknown by a soft whisper in the soul. Or, in the case of Elton John, something that will be of great concern after he was hospitalised after he came down with a ”serious respiratory infection”. No poetry will ever make Elton John want to die. He wants to live forever. In a palace made from diamonds and marbles.
Mister Yellow Brick Road was rushed to the Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles, where they have hospital beds made from cocaine and chihuahuas, in the early hours of yesterday morning. He’s undergone every single test on Earth (just in case anyone is competitive about such matters, so he can eventually roll his eyes and say “yeah, had it”) and doctors have told him he won’t be performing ever again. Okay. That’s not true. He won’t be performing for a bit.
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Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Damon Albarn strops out of Blur sessions
BLUR managed to endure where many other Britpop and 90s indie bands faltered. That’s mainly because Blur are considerably better than Shed Seven, Menswear, Echobelly, Molly Halfhead, Strangelove, Powder, Laxton’s Superb, Spirea X, The Mystics, Gay Dad and… the list is almost endless, thanks largely to Britpop being one of the most overrated genres in history.
Either way, Blur (pictured here 1994) got back together and played some shows and everyone cooed over Graham Coxon and Damon Albarn being pals again. Watching Damon and Graham perform together is, ostensibly, porn for thirtysomethings. Everything was (Villa) rosy in the Blur garden again!
WRONG.
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The Flaming Lips vs Jay Z
THE Flaming Lips are taking on Jay Z in a bid to beat the rapper’s world record for “most live concerts in 24 hours in multiple cities”.
Jay Z achieved the Guinness World Record in 2006 when he performed seven times in seven cities in one day. The Flaming Lips will attempt the record on 27 June, when they are scheduled to perform eight shows in eight cities.
In a press release Flaming Lips singer Wayne Cole said: “I’ve accepted the attempt at breaking the world record of performing eight shows in 24 hours. And I’ve explained to the music freaks at MTV, VH1 and CMT that I am not a host… but I always like the way that Jerry Lewis would get all sweaty toward the end of his yearly telethon… To play and sing Flaming Lips songs at 8:00 in the morning… Well…I’m open to new experiences.”
The Flaming Lips call themselves “Oklahoma’s psychedelic alternative rock band”. Famed for their extravagant live shows, Q Magazine once listed them as one of the “50 Bands To See Before You Die”.
The Flaming Lips’ world record plans announcement, on the band’s website, does not specify which eight cities’ inhabitants will get the chance to take up Q Magazine‘s advice, but here’s a taster of what could be in store:
The history of record buying in a gif
THE history of record buying in a gif shows us how we like to buy music. The trick is guessing what next?
Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Music | Comments (2)
When Jacob met Tyler – uplifting video of the day
SOMETIMES the cynicism and pain dies and all that’s left is the music. In this video Jacob – he’s blind and autistic – meets Tyler, who’s playing music in Lawrence, Kansas on May 13, 2012.
Can you get Tyler on the NHS?
Spotter: Karen
Posted: 17th, May 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Queen to continue elaborate gravedigging of Freddie Mercury with hologram japes
POOR old Queen. They’ve been at a loss since Freddie Mercury – the only one in the group with a modicum of talent or charisma – went and selfishly died, leaving the group to team up with berks like Ben Elton and Dappy from N-Dubz.
Since Freddie shrugged off his mortal coil, Brian May has decided to trade himself as a Diet Slash, appearing anywhere that needs a guitar solo, as well as being chief clog wearer and star-gazer because… well… he can’t offer the world anything else, other than looking exactly like Anita Dobson. Roger Taylor meanwhile is a drummer and, apart from Phil Collins and Don Henley, drummers don’t ever have a career beyond drumming.
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Mark Ronson had sleepovers at Michael Jackson’s as a child, which starts to explain a few things…
WITHOUT doubt, you will have looked at Mark Ronson’s face at some point and tried to climb through your TV screen or magazine page in an attempt to kick it clean off his head. He’s the most annoying human ever. Ever. Ever, ever, evereververver.
He’s got so much smug that he’s had to buy a second home for it. And that second home is the size of the Death Star. Ronson is so satisfied with himself, it is obvious that he can only reach sexual climax while looking at photographs of himself, while listening to his own music and recounting a list of all the celebrities he thinks he can call ‘friend’ in his mind.
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Posted: 14th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rihanna unfollows Chris Brown… not because he slapped her about, but because of a song
CHRIS BROWN may be the most jarring goon in the world, but Rihanna still stuck by him. Even though he knocked ten shades of shit out of her, she thought she’d hang out with him, lift a restraining order and record a couple of duets with him. Everyone spat feathers and no answers were forthcoming.
It looked for all the world like they were going to get back together and many started to grind their teeth with vexation. However, there’s a development! It seems RiRi has finally had enough of Breezy and his adoring simpletons! So what has he done this time? Well, she’s unfollowed him on twitter (the worst thing anyone could ever do to another human, clearly) after she heard his latest song.
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Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Hey Ya? Hey Joe? OutKast’s André 3000 to play Jimi Hendrix
LOOKING out at the world, there’s not many people who have matched Jimi Hendrix’s joy of raiding the dressing-up box and living life as a pop star peacock, with wild hair, irresistible hips and effectively looking like they’ve just dropped in from Planet Funk.
After Jimi came Parliament with George and Bootsy, then Rick James and Prince and more recently, Andre 3000 who is a man who likes to play with sound just as much as a pair of stacked heels and floor-length fluorescent coat. With that, it makes perfect sense that the OutKast harlequin should be given the nod to play Hendrix in a new biopic.
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Posted: 8th, May 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Look at Taylor Swift’s boobs and decide if they’ve magically grown
HAVE you seen Taylor Swift lately? Did you look at her chest? Of course you didn’t. She’s so interminably beige that you probably forgot you were looking at a human at all. Still, rumours abound about her boobs. If she’s creatively and noticeably unnoticeable, she may have done something which is making her stand-out a little more than usual.
SHE MAY HAVE HAD A BOOB JOB.
Mutterings from those concerning themselves with the anatomy of Taylor Swift, including ‘experts’, have decided that she’s gone from “a small A to a striking C”. Note the language there. Not a ‘lovely A to an equally lovely C’. One is undernourished, the other, resplendent. Either way, HollywoodLife are doing somersaults over Swift’s bits, stirring the pot by comparing two photographs of the singer and getting three pros to give their opinion.
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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
The Smiths to reform aka Morrissey’s mortgage payments must be getting tight
THERE is a rumour that never goes out. That’s right, it is that time again to talk about the reforming of The Smiths. Apparently, the furiously overrated band are going to put aside their differences and return to the stage this Autumn. If The Stone Roses can do it, then why can’t Morrissey & Co?
Looking at the hatchet buried by Ian Brown and John Squire, it appears that everyone is willing Morrissey and Marr to do the same, and apparently, they’ve found ‘common ground’ with each other. Or, as everyone else calls it, ‘money’.
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Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Music | Comments (15)
Grown bearded man arrested for impersonating Justin Bieber
INFANT pop superstar, Justin Bieber, has barely been alive long enough to develop his fingernails and fontanelle, let alone a hair on his nuts… so the news coming in that a grown man with a hairy face has been arrested for impersonating the pint sized popstar is odd.
Apparently, authorities have accused a Lee Moir of Toronto of taking-off Bieber. Of course, any adult with the vaguest interest in JB should be flogged in public, so what’s the deal here? Has Moir been seen gyrating in malls singing about babies?
Well, nearly.
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Posted: 19th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Courtney Love hated by her daughter and Kurt’s best friends
THIS might surprise you, but Courtney Love has been going mad again. You may think that her wild ramblings, ‘accidental’ nude leaks of herself via her own twitter account, bizarre plastic surgery and the whole Burning Her House Down may be little more than accidents. However… and bear with us… she’s looking like she might be actually insane.
So much so that her own daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, wants twitter to ban her from the site after Courtney claimed Dave Grohl tried to shag Kurt Cobain’s daughter.
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Posted: 13th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
Guns ‘n’ Roses refused Hall Of Fame by Axl Rose
DESPITE being one of the lousiest rock bands in the history of human ears, Guns ‘n’ Roses had been invited to be part of the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall Of Fame. That’d be the GnFR being invited ahead of proper metal bands who influenced many, like Motorhead, Def Leppard and Iron Maiden. Not some basketball boot wearing, lycra cycling short having, pompous shagsack like Axl Rose preening over pedestrian, noodly pop-metal.
Of course, GNR all hate each other, mainly because Axl Rose is one of the most unpleasant humans on the planet (especially in his plastic-surgery goatee and cornrows years) and Slash, all big and tough, probably still cries himself to sleep when he thinks of the things Rose said to him when the band was falling to pieces.
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Posted: 12th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Behold! The musical man worm’s Pink Floyd tribute
THE Muscial Man Worm will now play Pink Floyd’s The Great Gig in The Sky:
Posted: 6th, April 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
