My Krafty Elf And Safety Guide To Christmas Telly

 

IF you gave me the choice between being brutally murdered by rabid attack hamsters and a dwarf with a chainsaw or watching Kirstie’s Crafty Christmas, I would pick the fluffy bloody death. At least my screams would be heard and not muffled beneath the crochet shit hell of Kirstie’s dreams. Sugary, retro bullshit of the highest order. Imagine a stiletto with ironic tinsel wrapped round it stamping on true Christmas forever. Your Christmas is bollocks unless you make a thousand pointless bits of tat to scatter around your house. Buy your stuff from Iceland and get shit-faced on premixed egg nogg? You are scum. My kind of scum. Email for my address.

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Mic Wright

Posted: 19th, December 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment