Anorak

National Enquirer After Brangelina: Jessica Aniston And Jessica Simpson At 'War' | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘National Enquirer After Brangelina: Jessica Aniston And Jessica Simpson At ‘War’’

National Enquirer After Brangelina: Jessica Aniston And Jessica Simpson At ‘War’

ne-jenWEEK Two of the post Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit National Enquirer front page and things are looking promising for Jennifer Aniston, who remains in situ.

Angelina Jolie (NSFW)

With Brangelina suing the NoTW, and so putting the US tabloid on a stage of high alert, Jennifer Aniston is on her own.

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures

Well, she’s not alone for long because the NE has a new love triangle war brewing, and the three-points of the news compass are Aniston, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer. This is:

“Jen & Jessica – REVENGE ON LOVE RAT JOHN MAYER!”

Inside and:

“JEN & JESSICA DECLARE WAR ON JOHN!”

Mayer is said to have upset the women by called Simpson “sexual napalm” and “crack cocaine” (is that good or bad?) and portrayed Aniston as “boring”. Says Mayer of fun Jen:

“I want to dance… I want to get on an airplane and be a ninja… I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”

A euphemism?

And… Oh, it’s just no good. Without those weekly tales of Brad’s secret love (sources say) to betrayed Aniston, Angelina Jolie’s rage (say pals) and Aniston’s loveliness (says insider), the Enquirer is trying but failing to come up with a story.

READ: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie: Sex Toys, Jennifer Aniston ‘Romps’ In Pictures

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt – A Romance In Pictures

It’s needs a new angle? Who can be the new Ange-Brad-Jen? But why not do as OK! has done and in between news and non-news hire look-alikes to play the main protagonists and get up to all sorts of crazy mischief?

Look out for: “Jen puts Brad’s head in oven as Ange waters poison begonia” – say pals.

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures

Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)