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Nicki Minaj threatened to shoot Mariah Carey

YOU may have seen the story (and watched the video) about Mariah Carey getting beatdown by Nicki Minaj‘s insanely annoying voice, but have you heard about the shooting threat?

Well, that is what we’re looking at right now as Mariah Carey has been talking to Barbara Walters, about the small matter of fellow American Idol judge Nicki Minaj threatening to shoot her. That’s right. SHOOT HER. Walters said: “Nicki walked off the set and multiple people heard Nicki say, ‘If I had a gun I would shoot the bitch.'”

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Posted: 5th, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: Exiting when rock is overlooked!

THE Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced its list of nominees for 2013 and the list of acts that the public can vote on is pretty exciting… once you take actual rock music out of the equation.

The exciting potential inductees are Donna Summer, Public Enemy, The Meters, NWA, Kraftwerk, Chic and The Marvellettes (photo).

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Posted: 5th, October 2012 | In: Music | Comment (1)


Nicki Minaj threatens to knock-out Mariah Carey… on tape

POPSTARS are idiots, that’s why we love them. And acting like a supreme chump is Nicki Minaj who went mental during American Idol auditions in North Carolina, swearing at Mariah Carey and threatening, “I’m gonna knock you out”.

On video.

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Posted: 4th, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Massive surprise as Vatican act like thundering berks!

THE Catholic Church is not a kind institution. Everyone knows about their feelings on homosexuality, abortion, women, contraception, child-abuse and Nazi gold.

So, with little surprise, the Vatican is acting like primitive, brutal arsehats over the Pope’s butler who has been accused of stealing some of Benny the Pontiff’s letters.

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Posted: 2nd, October 2012 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment (1)


Paris Hilton gets off with girl while boyfriend punches everything in sight

CHEATING is cheating. Some people don’t see it thus, thinking that if you’re a woman and you get off with another woman, that doesn’t count. However, if you’re one of those people who doesn’t want to see your partner locking lips with anyone else, then it is just plain ol’ cheating.

And that’s what we’re faced with here as Paris Hilton decided to get off with a lady at a nightclub in Las Vegas. And so, doing the nearest thing to sensible his little brain could think of, Paris’ boyfriend started hitting people. How sensible.

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Posted: 2nd, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Christian LaBella released after alleged assault of Lindsay Lohan

HAW HAW! Lindsay Lohan is always getting into scrapes isn’t she? She’s more famous for T.R.O.U.B.L.E. than she is her career! So what is she up to now? What mirth can we draw out of her latest situation?

She says she’s been assaulted by a man?

Oh. That isn’t even remotely funny. And neither is the fact that the accused – Christian LaBella – has been released without charge by the NYC police after claims couldn’t be substantiated.

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Posted: 1st, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Ke$ha says she’s had sex with a ghost

ANYONE who has seen those leaked photographs of Ke$ha covered in someone’s semen will no doubt have been steadily vomiting for the past year. There’s something so profoundly unlikeable about Ke$ha that, it doesn’t at all matter what she looks like, because she’ll always be on the cusp of vile.

Maybe it’s because she’s a walking Bratz doll who will say absolutely anything for attention and, ultimately, will end up believing it herself.

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Posted: 28th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


John Terry: guilty of racially abusing QPR’s Anton Ferdinand in FA hearing

WHAT do you do about racists? Tell them they’re wrong? Well, that doesn’t work because there’s no reasoning with racists. Punch them in the mouth then? Violence and racism pretty much equate in terms of lousy actions.

Well, if you’re the FA and you’ve just found John Terry guilty of being racist, you hand them a four match ban.

That’s right! Four whole days off work for being a thoroughly awful human. And that’s what John Terry is. That’s not to say he’s an actual racist, rather, he seems to be the kind of person who might say the most damaging thing in his head just to wound someone, whether he means it or not.

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Posted: 27th, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comment


Justin Lee Collins and his lover entertain the schoolchildren

REMEMBER when Rufus Hound stole Justin Lee Collins’ entire career from him by being Rent-A-Hirsuite-Wacky-Man? Well, things have got a whole load worse for JLC as he’s being accused of all manner of dark business by an ex.

In court. She’s claiming that Alan Carr’s old buddy tried to her into the path of an oncoming car, as well as being obsessed with her exes, reading her Facebook messages and generally clogging up the bath plug like nobody’s business.

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Posted: 27th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Madonna has to point out irony of calling Obama a ‘black Muslim’

IT is a sorry state of affairs when people have to point out when they’re using irony. And Madonna, a notorious sarcastic ol’ thing, has had to do exactly that after everyone got jumpy about her calling Barack Obama a “black Muslim” during a show in Washington

A video shows Madge saying: “Now, it’s so amazing and incredible to think that we have an African-American in the White House … we have a black Muslim in the White House … it means there is hope in this country, and Obama is fighting for gay rights, so support the man!”

Cue a pointless furore, to which Madonna (who we’re legally obliged to refer to as ‘The Material Girl’ at some point in this article) responded:

“I was being ironic on stage. Yes, I know Obama is not a Muslim – though I know that plenty of people in this country think he is. And what if he were? The point I was making is that a good man is a good man, no matter who he prays to. I don’t care what religion Obama is – nor should anyone else in America.”

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Posted: 26th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment


Lady GaGa and the fat debate

FOR some inexplicable reason, we’re all supposed to care how much Lady GaGa weighs. Lately, it seems she’s put a bit of weight on and it is remarkable anyone noticed at all because we’re all too busy gawping at her unusual stage outfits, face implants and wild wigs.

Of course, there’s those who will judge her solely on her music (with both sides of the fence equally irritating, with the pro-column unable to accept criticism and the con-column unable to allow themselves to like pop music), but thanks to GaGa’s brazen hustling schtick, it seems that people lose their minds and start thinking that it is perfectly fine to point at a woman and titter about how she’s a slightly different shape than she was a week ago.

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Posted: 26th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)


Chris Brown surprisingly in court again (not that Rihanna cares)

TEAM BREEZY will be having kittens this week, as their sharp knuckled arsehole idol – Chris Brown – is in court again. Y OH Y CARNT DEY JUST PIK ON SOME1 ELS FFS?

Well, thanks to knocking seven shades out of Rihanna, Chris Brown is a watched man and he’s only gone and tested positive for drugs! That’s right, Breezy has been found to have marijuana in his system while he’s on probation for his infamous 2009 assault.

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Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Let us eat badgers (unless you’re Brian May who advocates cannibalism)

MUCH has been howled at in terms of the imminent badger cull. Badgers, you see, are not only pretend cute (cute from afar, tearing your face off and much larger than expected up-close) but they’re also meme-friendly and the pal of Bodger. To kill off a load of them would be to hurt many-a-feeling. However, the living half of Two Fat Ladies, Clarissa Dickson Wright, has just the solution!

Eat badgers.

That’s right. We should totally eat a protected species. She ate them when she was younger and, if a cete of badgers should get offed, then we humans should gorge on their gigantic bodies. Provided we don’t catch tuberculosis from them.

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Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


Show-off Kanye West not so keen on sex-tape release

DESPITE the fact Kanye West’s little yeezy has appeared online already, he’s not so thrilled at the notion of a sex-tape of himself doing the rounds in public. And to think, this coming from a man who is hopelessly devoted to Kim Kardashian, a woman who became famous overnight after starring in one of the most lifeless sex-bouts ever to burn itself onto the public’s collective retina.

Numerous sites reported the existence of this tape and something of a bidding war began, with figures going into the millions.

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Posted: 24th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Paris Hilton thinks all gay men have AIDS does she?

WHEN Donna Summer made some dodgy comments about AIDS, her glorious career vanished down the toilet. At least Paris Hilton has no talent of note to waste on the back of her claim that most gay men have AIDS.

Doctor Hilton is in the house everyone!

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Posted: 20th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lindsay Lohan has been arrested, which is a massive surprise!

THE LAPD must be sick of the sight of Lindsay Lohan by now. She’s been arrested so many times that she’s probably got a worn arse-groove on bench at the station. And she’s been arrested again, of course, this time getting her collar felt for leaving the scene of an accident after allegedly clipping a pedestrian in NYC.

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Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Hobbit trailer is here! Sadsacks rejoice!

THE Lord of the Rings trilogy were a lousy bunch of films that were akin to Star Wars, episodes 1-3: The MTV Unplugged version. Bad CGI, too much clunky dialogue and politics and, worst of all, roughly 80 years too long. Still, they were furiously successful and spawned fans so ardent that I’m probably going to be killed in my sleep for not liking them.

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Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Film | Comment


Rupert Everett doesn’t like gay dads (nothing to do with awful Britpop group)

THERE may be something of a shitstorm coming Rupert Everett’s way as he’s declared that he “can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads“.

Now, of course, Rupert is a gay man himself, so this confuses matters. People won’t know whether to call him a homophobe or simply, an insensitive twerp. Either way, for such a normally likeable man, these comments are going to stick in many-a-craw.

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Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Manchester home to biggest music thieves in the UK – pirates have awful taste in music

PIRACY of music is still something of a contentious issue. Some say it is theft, some say it isn’t because it doesn’t remove the original, rather, makes a copy. Basically though, it is quite obviously stealing and if you can deal with that, then go buck wild.

And as the headline suggests, Manchester is the biggest pirate city in the UK, and the United Kingdom happens to be the second worst country in the world for illegal music downloads behind the United States. While this is all well and good, there’s some very, very disturbing news hidden away in the stats.

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Posted: 17th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Fergie wants end to United and Liverpool’s tasteless chants

THE relationship between Manchester United and Liverpool has always been a tricky one. Like sparring, feuding brothers, a deep rooted respect is often translated to burst noses and enough bickering to make even the pettiest human cry.

Over the years, both sides of this near-derby has seen some pretty unsavoury words shared. Of course, it makes for a fascinating spectacle, but Sir Alex Ferguson has just about had enough of it and wants the tasteless chanting that has marred matches between the two, to stop.

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Posted: 14th, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comment


Rihanna seen kissing Chris Brown at VMAs

LORDY. Rihanna is absolutely determined to be an apologist for Chris Brown. Fine, she wants to forgive him and take a stronger stance than playing the victim or letting the awful beating she took ruin her life, but there’s something to make everyone incredibly uneasy about this whole tawdry affair.

Ri was seen kissing Breezy on the lips (as the video shows) at the MTV VMAs and it will no doubt add fuel to the notion that everyone should just leave Chris Brown alone. Team Breezy, Brown’s unswerving fans, will be thrilled at the sight of this, thinking that there’s officially nothing wrong with supporting a man who hospitalised a woman.

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Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lana Del Rey to quit singing! (With any luck)

LANA DEL REY has always seemed disingenuous, bursting onto the scene on daddy’s money and dragging that long face of hers about the place with her vapid, weedy blub-pop. Well, praise be! Seems that she can’t be bothered being a popstar anymore and has revealed plans to branch out into screenwriting!

According to The Sun, Del Rey said:

“When I was first starting, I had a vision of being a writer for film and that’s what I am doing now. I’m so happy. Hopefully I will branch into film work and stay there.”

“What would it say? Everything I wanted to say, I’ve said already… I don’t think I’ll write another record.”

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Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


What is the cure for asthma? Soup, of course!

MEDICINE is a modern miracle, but everyone knows that soup is better. It may seem odd to compare the two, but the two will now be in direct competition as bowls of gloopy vegetables are being investigated as a solution to childhood asthma.

Presumably, you won’t have to fire it into your throat with an inhaler (saying that, that sounds like it’d be much more fun that slurping it from a spoon).

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Posted: 6th, September 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment


Did Tom Cruise turn Nicole Kidman’s children against her?

SCIENTOLOGY may not have destroyed Tom Cruise’s career, but everyone does think he’s weird now. And in fairness to him, he’s been acting very oddly since he leapt around on Oprah Winfrey’s sofa like an excitable simian. Katie Holmes has of course left him, leading everyone to talk about the recruiting process of the church in his bid to get himself a new wife (like the good-looking, incredibly wealthy Tom Cruise needs help!).

But what about his other ex-wife?

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Posted: 6th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


So, Michael Jackson was a hopeless drunk was he?

EVERYONE pretty much thought of Michael Jackson as a troubled child trapped inside a troubled genius’ body. For a period, he was pretty much untouchable and then, in later life, pretty much in a state where no-one really wanted to touch him unless it was absolutely necessary.

However, the childlike quality remained and you could picture him, floating around his house like Peter Pan (only with a frightening face). You certainly couldn’t imagine him indulging in adult activities like jerking off or getting hammered.

Concerning the latter, that seems to be the case as someone has said that MJ was a hopeless drunk.

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Posted: 5th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment