Posts Tagged ‘News’
What We Learnt From David Letterman’s Retirement: Be Online And Be A White Male
David Letterman at the taping of his first talk-comedy hour
Date: 01/02/1982
FOR years, David Letterman has been a televisual tour-de-force. However, the rug was getting pulled from under his feet, thanks to being old-school.
Of course, the only thing more old-school than Letterman himself, is the business he works in.
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Posted: 14th, April 2014 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Kylie Ditches The Voice, Unsurprisingly
UNSURPRISINGLY, Kylie Minogue has announced she will not be returning to The Voice.
The show, which has completely failed to set the world on fire, mainly thanks to being somehow more cynical than The X Factor, thanks to it’s slapped-on veneer of authenticity, has been plodding along with Tom Jones looking confused, will.i.am. being oddly adorable like someone made a human tamagotchi and then there’s Ricky from Kaiser Chiefs who is what he is.
Kylie however, was a surprise inclusion, replacing Jessie J. Surely she was too successful and busy to be pissing around with a programme like The Voice?
Well, file it under An Experiment That Didn’t Work as she won’t be coming back for a second stint, saying that the timing of her tour is getting in the way. That’s useful and convenient isn’t it?
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Posted: 11th, April 2014 | In: Music, TV & Radio | Comment
Red Hot Chili Peppers Used As Guantanamo Bay Torture T(rack)
OF all the dreadful, heart-wrenching stories to come from Guantanamo Bay, the news that the CIA are using the Red Hot Chili Peppers music as a torture device is surely the worst.
Prisoners in Guantánamo Bay have been subject to all manner of woeful behaviour, but surely they’d all prefer to be water boarded than have to listen to Anthony Kiedis & Co. Just imagine being couped up, chains around your ankles, while someone plays their brand of rock-funk dreck at you.
It’s enough to make your brain shut down just so the ears and body die.
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Were KISS Anti-Semitic?
LIFE as a member of KISS must be more mental than living in a hedge filled with laughing spiders. And depressing too. More depressing than Gene Simmons blood-chilling sex tape. No, we’re not providing a link. Look for it yourself. You’ll never listen to Foreigner in the same way again.
Anyway, former KISS honcho Paul Stanley (the one with the star on his eye when done up) has released a new new memoir, ‘Face the Music: A Life Exposed,’ written with journalist Tim Mohr. Naturally, it is anecdote-central and is filled with a myriad of bold claims.
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Posted: 10th, April 2014 | In: Music, Reviews | Comment (1)
Ultimate Warrior Jams Brian Hellwig: Gloriously Mad And Regrettably Gone
The Ultimate Warrior is escorted by his daughters to the stage during the WWE Hall of Fame Induction at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans on Saturday, April 5, 2014. (Jonathan Bachman/AP Images for WWE). Date: 05/04/2014
THE Ultimate Warrior has died at the age of 54, WWE has sadly confirmed. Born James Brian Hellwig, Warrior electrified kids and adults alike during his time as a fearsome wrestler of the WWE (formerly WWF). His wild antics, shock of crazy hair and charged entrance made him a hit with those who are fans of professional wrestling.
For those who sniff ‘oooooh, it’s just all acting!’, The Ultimate Warrior took it wrestling to a high octane, monster truck level of theatre. He was bigger, bolder and weirder than his counterparts and everyone who watched him, immediately got excited when he appeared.
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Posted: 10th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Sports | Comment
If Your Looks Got You The Job Don’t Complain When The Job Goes When Your Looks Fade
BBC TV newsreaders past and present at the BBC TV Centre in London. From Left to Right Peter Woods, John Snagge, Corbet Woodall, Bob Langley, Colin Doran, Kenneth Kendal John Timpson and Robert Dougall. Seated Anglea Rippon, Richard Whitmore and Richard Baker. Date: 26/06/1979
LIFE is indeed unfair and it is entirely true that some of us lose our jobs after our looks start to fade. The latest little scare story being that we don’t have enough middle aged and older women on the tellie, telling us all how the world is in the news and the like.
To which there’s a pretty robust response. If you originally get your job because you’re pretty, somewhat toothsome on the eye, then it’s a bit odd to complain about losing said job when you’re less easy on said eyes. As Michael Buerk has been pointing out:
BBC veteran Michael Buerk says TV presenters who got their jobs through their beauty have no right to complain if they’re axed when their looks fade.
While the anchorman has expressed his satisfaction that broadcasters are now featuring more and more experienced talent, such as Great British Bake-Off presenter Mary Berry, he says many of those that complain about ageism should not have been given their roles in the first place.
He said: ‘”Presenter” in any case is a very recent job description dreamt up to provide somebody who fronts a programme without any special reason for being on it.
‘And if you got the job in the first place mainly because you look nice, I can’t see why you should keep it when you don’t.’
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Posted: 9th, April 2014 | In: Money, Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment
Glastonbury Is Dead But ‘The Best Is Yet To Come’
FOR people who don’t like hippies, festival-goers, indie music, ridiculous gig flags, wankers in bucket hats, posh girls in bindhis, heritage rock bands and wacky BBC presenters, the blanket coverage of the Glastonbury Festival is worse than a million Royal Weddings.
The bad news for Glastohaters is that the event has just had its license renewed for another decade.
And Glastonbury gaffer Emily Eavis – she took it over from her dad, Michael – has promised that ‘the best is yet to come’.
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Wu Tang Clan: Releasing One Copy Too Many Of Their New LP
WU TANG CLAN have never been more popular, mainly because people who don’t really like hip hop really like wearing their t-shirts, throwing up ironic ‘Wu’ handsigns in photographs and smoking weed now and then. For real fans of The Wu, they know how arduous it is trying to follow everything they do.
What that actually means is that, when you factor in all the solo albums, collabs and guest spots, there’s an amazing amount of dreck released under the Wu banner. There’s gold in them thar Wu Hills, but by god, you have to dig deep to find it these days.
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The Goonies Are To Return… Which No-One Really Wants
The house shown in this photo taken May 24, 2001, in Astoria, Ore., was used in the Steven Spielberg film “The Goonies.” Nearly 17 years after the 1985 release, the home where the main characters live in Astoria still draws dozens of Goonie fans every week, and hundreds of people per month during the summer from around the world. (AP Photo/Stepanie Firth)
NOSTALGIA is a wonderful thing, provided you keep it where it is. 30somethings who have gone back to watch old cartoons they loved as kids are often found sobbing, depressed lumps sat in waterless baths, feeling cheated and hurt, like they’d summoned up a repressed abuse at the hands of school bullies.
Of course, some things stand the test of time, if you don’t pick at it. The Mysterious Cities of Gold is still oddly deep and perfect, but a redux of it would be like taking a great shit on the one meal that reminds you of the glory of your childhood.
And now, the director of The Goonies, Richard Donner, has said a sequel to The Goonies is in the works.
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Posted: 7th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment
James Franco On Cloud 17: Conspiracy Theories And 1970s-Style Honest-To-Goodness Perviness For Teenage Girl
AS you’re probably aware, arch-hipster James Franco has been rumbled online, trying to tap off with a 17 year old Scottish girl. A variety of messages were batted back and forth, with Franco being a little persistent in trying to get his end away.
Now, there’s something of a conspiracy theory, which sees some people saying that this is a sly publicity stunt for his new film – Palo Alto – where plays a football coach who seduces his 14-year-old baby sitter.
Either way, something very interesting and troubling happened in the immediate fallout – the press, initially, were rather amused by it. The tone was “Whoopsie! Caught with your pants down! Arf!”
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Posted: 4th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Now Look What Their Doing To Kurt Cobain: He’s A Musical
Kurt Cobain’s stash box
WHEN Kurt Cobain died, a whole generation lost one of their favourite icons. While he wasn’t necessarily a spokesperson for everyone through his songs, there was something very pleasing about his stance against business, phoney or otherwise. He was just about the only superstar who actively championed bands who needed the publicity as well.
Can you imagine any band now hailing the virtues of Teenage Fanclub and The Vaselines on international TV?
However, Cobain died and we didn’t see his like again. So what became of his legacy? Well, it didn’t take too long for unreleased music to get hastily stuck on some compilations and Nirvana t-shirts to get reissued by the buttload. And then Cobain appeared in a video game, which was fun but weird.
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Dear Christians: Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Complain About Noah
Russell Crowe arriving for the premiere of the film Noah held at the Odeon Leicester Square, central London.
THE new film about Noah, starring Russell Crowe, has been causing a lot of grief among certain religious types. Of course, most religious people have a faith strong enough to brush off some poxy film, but we’re looking at those shrieking mentals who can’t stay calm or, it seems, apply logic to a situation.
The film tells the famous story about Noah and his ark. God gets wrathful and sends a flood which is destined to wipe everything out. Destroying everything in a flood seems a bit snide, but as we all know, God is a vengeful so-and-so. And presumably, floating and water-breathing creatures weren’t at all bothered by this, to which we glean that God has no problem with ducks or fish. They’re the most saintly animals, obviously.
However, there’s a few Christians that are not at all happy with a Biblical tale being shown on the big screen. Instead of being happy that the word of God is being distributed worldwide, coupled with a very famous actor, they are furious.
Why?
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First look at the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer
Voice actors, from top left, Mikey Kelley, James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North and Mitchell Whitfield pose behind their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters, from left, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello, as they arrive at the premiere of the Warner Bros. feature “TMNT,” the latest installment of the Teenage Mutant Turtles saga, at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles Saturday, March 17, 2007.
ONCE upon a time, we had the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles on British TV because on these shores, everyone is far too chicken to use the word ‘ninja’. Mercifully, times have changed and now, we’re all set for a brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.
And the new trailer for it has been released.
Of course, there’s only one man childish enough to have fun make a TMNT film, and that’s Michael Bay, who also rummaged through the toybox in his mind to direct the Transformers films.
So how are Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo looking?
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Gervais Is Bringing David Brent Back To TV?
REMEMBER we told you that Ricky Gervais would be taking David Brent out on tour? Well, all is not as it seems.
It seems Ricky is bringing back Brent in a behind the scenes tour special, which could be lousy, but Gervais has an idea which might just work out wonderfully. And only a fool would write off Ricky Gervais.
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Posted: 25th, March 2014 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
BBC To Shock Everyone By Celebrating Yet More Music Played By White People: The Britpop Years
Manchester pop group Oasis accept the Brit award for Best Video (for ‘Wonderwall’) from Inxs frontman Michael Hutchence (left) at a star-studded ceremony at London’s Earl’s Court. Liam Gallagher, with beard, confronted Hutchence, once linked to Gallagher’s present girlfriend Patsy Kensit, and said “Has-beens shouldn’t present awards to going-t-be’s’.
THE BBC have been doing a lot of reminiscing of late. They set up BBC Four and filled it with old episodes of Top of the Pops and documentaries about the kind of music 40 year old middle class white men like.
It’s been blues this, Beatles that; classic soul this, Danny Baker talking about his record collection that. It is all perfectly lovely and often worth celebrating.
However, get the feeling there’s a whitewash going on?
The BBC give blanket coverage of Glastonbury and white rock music throughout the year. When it comes to black music, they apply the classic rule of ‘Black music is only credible if it is 20 years old, or more.’
With that, the only black music you’ll get on the BBC is stuff about disco, rhythm & blues, 60s soul music, jazz and at a push, maybe a fleeting nod to some of the hip hop released in the late 80s. Again, this is not some shrieking liberal complaint, but it certainly feels like the BBC are more likely to do a show about The Mighty Wah rather than The Wu Tang Clan. And while it is fine to like and celebrate both, you have to concede that the boys from Staten Island are infinitely more influential than Pete Wylie & Co.
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Fashion designer and Mick Jagger’s girlfriend, L’Wren Scott, commits suicide
BREAKING. Fashion designer L’Wren Scott has been found dead after hanging herself in her New York apartment this morning. L’Wren has been known, of late, as being the girlfriend of Mick Jagger. A spokesman for the Rolling Stones singer said he was: “completely shocked and devastated” at the news.
The designer was reportedly found by her assistant. There’s no suspicion of foul play, although newsrooms await the Medical Examiner’s report.
L’Wren Scott first made her name in the fashion industry as a stylist, before she went solo, releasing her eponymous line which was favoured by celebrities the world over, with fans including Michelle Obama and Nicole Kidman. In 2013, Scott collaborated with Banana Republic, appearing advertisements alongside the models.
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Posted: 17th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment
We Know If You’re Lying on Twitter
TWITTER is, lets face it, a place where people pretend their more exciting or more wealthy or more miserable than they really are. They do it to get attention from people they don’t know and repeat the process week-after-week until someone trolls them, and then they actually are miserable… but no-one takes any notice because they’ve been pretending to hate everything and everyone for so long.
With that, some science people have come up with a thing so they can tell whether you’re lying or not with your Tweets. Bad news for those of you who have convinced us all that your life is all cocktails and new trainers.
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Posted: 14th, March 2014 | In: Reviews, Technology | Comment
Lindsay Lohan Compiles A Cast List Of Everyone She’s Slept With In Hollywood’s Petrie Dish
CELEBRITIES, really, are supposed to be badly behaved. What is the point of being wealthy, popular and good looking if you’re not goin to rinse it for all it is worth? As fame is more likely to leave you than stay with you for life, you should spend your time in the limelight leading the life we’d all like to do, if only we could throw sickies off work for months at a time and money wasn’t an issue.
And so, to the brilliant Lindsay Lohan who had problems with drugs, drink, driving, jewels, fist fights and rehab, all the time, managing to do some acting and show off her boobies in some magazines.
As well as all that, she managed to have sex with some of the most famous people in the world, cementing our plebian jealousy.
In Touch magazine claims that Lindsay, while dossing about with friends at a hotel, wrote a list of 36 former shag buddies encountered in Hollywood’s Petrie Dish. The names included James Franco, Heath Ledger, Colin Farrell, Justin Timberlake, Zac Efron and Adam Levine.
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Posted: 13th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Listen To Daft Punk, Jay Z and Kanye’s Collab Leaked Online
AT the moment, Kanye and Daft Punk (above) are so hot. Everything they do is leapt on, prompting furious debate, fandom and craziness. And then there’s Jay Z. Jay Z’s pretty much past it, but he won’t care because he’s fantastically wealthy and married to Beyonce. Like he’d care what anyone thinks about anything.
And now, with clickbait catnip, there’s a tune featuring all three artists on the same song!
The track, which you can hear below, is called ‘Computerized’ and a lot of people are having kittens. It was leaked onto a Yeezy fansite as an unreleased track. As this writer has previous in fooling the world’s press with music parodies and hoodwinkery, alarm bells went off before hearing a second of the track.
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One Direction Go After George Osborne And Tax Dodgers
IT is usually indie fans who mock the rest of music for not being ‘real’ or doing anything worthwhile, when funnily, it is usually their favourite bands who are the most guilty of giving nothing to the world.
While everyone looks to rock music for protest, everyone’s missed the small fact that pop and hip hop have been the prime champions of hitting out against injustice. Guitar bands complain about Spotify or illegal downloads, concerned only for what they’re owed while pop and rap support Justice For The 96, hit out against corrupt police, call bullshit on the way media portrays women, stands up against bullying and berates corrupt politicians.
The latest is One Direction, who have urged their army of fans to lobby the Chancellor to hold the UK’s international aid budget steady and go after those guilty of corporate tax avoidance.
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Posted: 11th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, Music | Comment (1)
The Stars That Come Out To Support BBC Three Are The Reason It Should Close
THE BBC is a wonderful thing and this writer will defend it forever. That said, not everything it does is perfect. Take a look at BBC Three for example, which is currently being scrutinised now that Auntie has said it might be closing it down forever and ever amen. Or, at lease, turning it into an online channel.
A BBC spokesman said “nothing is off the table”, adding “no decisions have been made”, but really, it must be nigh on impossible to justify the existence of BBC Three (and Four for that matter), when they only broadcast for half the day (seriously – what is with that) and for the main part, are furiously unpopular.
In the case of BBC Four, the handful of decent shows they make could easily be shown on BBC Two. And BBC Three? Well, there’s little to save from the cull. And the stars that are calling for the channel to remain underline why it needs to go.
Jack Whitehall, Matt Lucas and Russell Kane are amongst those showing support for BBC Three.
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Posted: 5th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Kurt Cobain’s Old Roomie Is Flogging His Old Stuff Online
AS well you know, Kurt Cobain is dead. He blew his mind out in a plaid shirt and a lot of people lost their favourite singer. It was terribly sad and inspired a lot of people.
Inspired them to do what? Well, try and make money from Cobain’s corpse mainly.
And so, to Kurt’s old roommate who says he’s selling a load of the deceased Nirvana shrieker’s belongings on Craigslist. Y’know, to save you from actually having to graverob in the first place.
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Posted: 4th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jake Bugg Predictably Slags Off TV Talent Shows
WHETHER you like it or not, the only music format that doesn’t seem to want anything to do with the working classes, is indie. Prick your ears up during an interview with almost any new British rock band, and you’ll not hear an accent amongst them. Pop, rap, metal and dance music meanwhile, are the playground for anyone who fancies it.
In the pop world, The X Factor, American Idol and Britain’s Got Talent are giving working class performers a shot at fame. Susan Boyle is a megastar, when no record company would touch her. Little Mix meanwhile, are a hotchpotch of regional accents (and most importantly, killer pop records).
Indie, meanwhile, looks like prog in the 70s, filled with a load of dreary, earnest humans who lack the hunger of someone like Oasis. Whether you liked the band or not, the urgency and desire in their early records was difficult to rail against.
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Liam Gallagher Tells Oasis Fans Not To Buy Oasis LPs
NOT one for mincing his words, Liam Gallagher has told Oasis fans that they shouldn’t buy the forthcoming reissue of the group’s debut LP Definitely Maybe.
Why? Well, on Twitter, Our Liam got his one typing finger out, made sure caps lock was on, and said:
“HOW CAN YOU REMASTER SOMETHING THATS ALREADY BEING MASTERED.DONT BUY INTO IT.LET IT BE LG X”
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Morrissey Doesn’t Know Anyone… Who Would Like A Reunion of The Smiths
MORRISSEY, quite possibly the most tedious popstar ever created, is being all contrary again, giving withering looks and claiming that he doesn’t know a soul who wants a Smiths reunion.
Maybe that’s true because, in actual fact, he doesn’t have any friends or indeed, is surrounded solely by sycophants.
In an interview with Billboard, he said:
“I don’t know a single person who wants a Smiths reunion! But, no, there aren’t any bands I like to see again because your memory of them is how they were in their prime or at their best or at their most desperate, and you look to them to be someone that they no longer are.”
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