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nitrous oxide

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Arsenal players in legal high role model shocker

Arsenal crack

 

PSST! Wanna see young men inhaling nitrous oxide, you know, like medical students and junior doctors used to do? Well, you can, reportedly. Photos of Arsenal players inhaling balloons of what is allegedly nitrous oxide are all over the Sun. Lest you suppose young men larking about during their summer holidays is no big deal, the Sun tells us the men are “role models” – for who is unsaid; maybe their children – and the gas is “hippy crack”, a nickname that manages to make light of actual crack cocaine – the crap that erodes your head – and gives laughing gas a dangerous edge.

The images will, says the paper, “horrify fans”. No, not drugs fans upset that that this airy rubbish, this balloon juice is being likened to Grade A ‘good stuff’. The “fans” are football fans who looks for life guidance to Mesut Ozil or Matteo Guendouzi. For them this is a disaster. Of course, anyone who considers a stranger and not a big brother, mum, uncle or someone they meet regularly a “role model” most likely has other issues that need professional help.

Over pages 4 and 5, we learn that the “aces” were at private do where alcohol – that legal poison – was freely sold at exorbitant prices. There was scotch – aka Hippy Buckfast –  champagne – aka Vagrants Thunderbird – and vodka – aka Peasant Fuel. All legal to possess – just like hippy crack!

 Yes, folks, the story is grim – men break no laws at private do! The horror! The horror! 

Posted: 7th, December 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Key Posts, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Nitrous Oxide laugh in: Spurs and England’s Kyle Walker is a victim of the Daily Mail’s drugs misinformation policy

Tottenham Hotspur's Kyle Walker

SPURS and England defender Kyle Walker has been pictured inhaling laughing gas from a balloon. The picture was taken last June. Is that bad? Well, taking any stimulant is not a healthy option. He won’t be doing it again.

The Sunday Mirror was aghast and thundered:

“This photograph was taken as he was recovering from an injury that forced him to miss England’s friendly double-header against the Republic of Ireland and Brazil.”

Injured footballer on holiday inhales nitrous oxide. Is that a big deal? Well, it is if you sit on the picture and wait until the eve of England’s big match in the Ukraine to publish it.

Neil Ashton writes in the Mail:

‘The FA insist that Walker, who has seven caps and is expected to start against Ukraine, has not broken any laws or behaved in a way that affects his standing with the England team.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 9th, September 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment